The sun was moments away from it's final farewell. The darkened indigo sky had become sprinkled with stars. The moon at the ready to work it's shift.
The air was still. The second Justin stopped his bike his face protested the loss of the circulating breeze he'd had while riding.
The bowling alley was some distance away, yet Justin had found the journey way too short.
It always seemed whenever he was anxious to do something the longer it took to arrive. However, if it was something he was not excited to do, time flew toward it.
He was nervous.
He had gone to Brian's house with no clear conversation in mind. All he'd known was that he needed to see with his own eyes, that Brian was okay...or at least pretending to be.
He shifted his eyes to the other boy's bedroom window, thankful that, unlike his own, was on the ground level. With each step closer to the window, he was reconsidering his choice to come here.
Easily, quickly, he could've just gone home. His house was just around the corner. A fact that had made them not talking even harder.
'No. He had to see him. Hear him.'
His soft steps on the soft ground left his arrival soundless. The grass squished a little underneath his converse, having just been greeted by the sprinkler.
It was true that Justin was completely silent.
The same answered false about Brian.
Upon hearing the quiet, but unmistakable sound, Justin froze.
Light sniffles and heavy gulps talked to the night, spoke gently through the open window. Without a screen between the summer air and the room that whispered to it.
'Brian was crying.'
Of course the sobs came gingerly from him. As with everything else, Brian Kinney's tears were graceful.
Of all of the years that the blond had known him, he'd never heard this. Everything about the noise had Justin's eyes shimmering with a liquid ache of his own.
His mind recalled the vision of Brian crashing crudely to the hard cement in the parking lot. An anchor of regret tied itself to Justin's heart, pulling it into his stomach. He'd felt a discomfort like never before.
He regretted ever having shoved Brian during any of their previous fights. Having ever caused him the same kind of pain that his father had.
He was suddenly terrified that he had contributed a tear or two, that spilled from Brian's eyes and into Justin's. Hazel into blue.
He couldn't bear that burden. 'He had to leave.'
It felt wrong for him to eavesdrop on the brunet's conversation with the listening night.
Justin was always considerate.
Determined to leave as unnoticed as he'd come, he turned back toward his bike. Just as his sneaker caught itself on the uncoiled garden hose.
A shocked slew of curse words escaped before he could stop them. Any hope he'd had of a refined exit fell away, when the words fell from his mouth, and Justin fell to the ground.
He used his palms to brace himself. They were stinging.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian's voice asked harshly from the window.
'Great.' Now his heart was stinging too.
There was roughness in Brian's tone that had Justin wishing for instant invisibility. He thought, not for the first time, that life should come with a trap door. A convenient spontaneous exit from moments...like this one.
He slowly turned to face the question he didn't want to answer, the one he wasn't sure he could...
...'What the fuck was he doing here?'
He met Brian's impatient glare, opened his mouth to speak and promptly shut it. No words had attached to his voice.
Blue eyes blinked blankly.
Brian blinked back.
The anger Brian had felt just seconds ago was rapidly vanishing. At first he'd been mad at the prospect of anyone hearing his sobs, of seeing him like this.
Especially Justin.
He was ashamed and afraid.
Now, however, as he stared into those seemingly endless blue eyes, he could not find any anger.
Instead, he realized, he felt grateful for his face. His visit. His concern.
He chose not to let Justin in on this discovery.
He straightened his posture, kept his voice cold. "Well?" he demanded rudely.
"I uh, I saw, in the parking lot." Justin rambled.
Brian's face rushed to match the blond's paleness. 'Had Justin seen his father push him?' He felt ill at the thought. Worry seeped from his stare, he blinked quickly hoping Justin hadn't seen it.
"I don't need you to check up on me." he snapped.
'Yes I do.' his mind contradicted.
Noticing on Justin's face that his words had wounded him, Brian softened.
He wished it would just be easy to pick up where they'd left off. Laughing. Comfortable. Almost friends.
'Why must there always be set backs, complications, awkwardness?'
He knew, somewhere deep down, that having Justin here made everything hurt less.
"I'm okay." he said almost too soft for the blond to hear.
Justin just nodded. He had not been surprised by Brian's initial irritated greeting. It'd actually gone better than he'd expected.
Right now he let himself drink in all of the brunet. Scanning for signs of pain.
Small bruises had begun to paint their deep violet hues on golden canvas. Brian's tanned arms.
Brian was always angered by anyone who dared to give a damn about him; to Justin this was not news.
He'd long ago mastered how to handle the rantings of Brian Kinney.
Even when the lyrics were hard to hear, Brian's voice was a song worth the listen.
"I've brought you something." Justin spoke through the beginning of a smile.
Brian's lips too traveled north briefly,as did the eyebrow he'd raised at the boy on his lawn. The expression silently inquiring what he'd brought.
"A peace offering." Justin promised. He stepped forward and then climbed onto a newly severed tree stump. It brought him level with Brian's window sill.
He remembered when it used to be a luscious apple tree. Cut down like he'd been cut from Kinney's life. Both suffering the loss of the view into Brian's window.
Though he still didn't fully understand the reason for the second, he had known that the tree was evicted because it was overcrowded and rained it's damaged crop against the house. Distorting it's perfect home image. Leaving them stifled for growth, and bruised.
Not unlike the beautiful bruised boy before him. He guessed the apple never did fall far from the tree.
Steadying himself, he reached into the back pocket of his wranglers. His fingers clasped around the gift.
Brian watched Justin's movements. He let out an audible breath when he looked at the object Justin held.
The shell bracelet.
The offering warmed Brian a little. It was the spark of fire he'd needed to melt away the memory of Jack's outburst that was frozen to his mind.
Justin had known he'd needed this gesture, this spark. 'How did he always know?'
Brian drew his lips into a smirk, and clicked his tongue. "Stalking me Sunshine?" he teased.
For a fraction of a moment, Brian thought he saw excitement flash within Justin's eyes.
A shiver of excitement danced through Justin's veins at the nickname Brian had given him. He'd never called him that before that day at the lake. Never when they'd been friends.
Now, it was becoming more frequent.
Justin reveled in the word. 'Sunshine'. Each time Brian spoke it, the blond would bask in it's warmth.
He shook his head, trying to show the level of ridiculousness he'd found in Brian's accusation.
He didn't dwell on the fact that that had been exactly what he'd done.
Spied on him playing the claw machine. Followed him into the parking lot, this house. 'Yep. Stalker fit.'
Although still fresh and mostly concealed by Brian's shirt, closer now, the bruises were more defined. Justin imagined that soon the offending marks, on otherwise flawless flesh, would richen. Deepen in color and deepen in ache inside and out.
Forthwith he saddened with the realization that such marks took time to heal. Brian would be constantly reminded of everything he felt now, until they'd faded.
Not wanting to apply even the slightest pressure, he gingerly reached for Brian's hand.
The brunet still winced through his teeth, causing Justin's eyes to instinctively look again at the purple pain.
Catching his observation, Brian began to reconstruct the walls around his heart.
When Justin gently placed a kiss on the bruise closest to Brian's wrist, he'd barricaded himself completely. Roughly, he jerked his hand away. Pulling it to him, away from Justin and his too touchy body parts.
A delicate tingle still lingered on his wrist where those hands and lips had connected.
A quick flash of anger appeared once more, "What are you doing?" he asked guarded; fiercely wiping the echo of Justin's lips from his wrist.
Justin spoke softly, unbothered. "Killing you with kindness."
Without asking Brian's consent, he again reached for the boy's hand. Brian was too stunned by the blond's guts to protest.
His touch was gentle, soothing and all kinds of tingly.
Brian studied Justin carefully as he tied the bracelet to his wrist.
As he did so he kept his head down. Focused on tying it easy, Justin sighed. ''You know, being mean to me has never really worked." he completed the knot and glanced to Brian through his lashes.
He could see the brunet was intently watching him, but said nothing.
Justin was certain he'd seen a smidgen of amusement in those ever changing eyes.
Gaining a sense of bravery at that smidgen, Justin leaned forward.
Brian visibly swallowed hard, but did not. Move. A. Muscle.
With his elbows on the window sill supporting him, Justin leaned in and touched his lips to Brian's cheek.
Too nervous to wait for a reaction, he turned, found his bike and peddled home. He did not glance back.
Brian stood as still as a statue; fully he savored the tingle of that kiss on his face.
He did not wipe that one away.