The Last Beginning – Epilogue
There are no words that truly explain just how hard it is for me to do this. But after reading all she has written, it would stain the honor of her memory where someone not to complete this manuscript. Wynne did always intend for the documentation of her knowledge to be kept and shared, which may seem strange when you consider all that she includes about herself and those around her. Perhaps, that too was part of which she was trying to save.
Before I go any further, perhaps I should give some perspective to who I am and why I am the one writing the final entry in Wynne's journal. My name is Petra, a mage of Ferelden's Circle. If you've read this manuscript in its entirety, you will certainly have some idea of who I am and how I was involved in this whole undertaking. Though I do feel the need to point out that I am not nearly so skilled or intuitive as Wynne makes me out to be. The bias of an old, dear woman, I suppose.
I studied under Wynne in the Tower as an apprentice. Not exclusively, but I have always had an interest in healing magics, and Wynne was the best teacher to be had. Between the time when Wynne returned to the Tower after the Battle of Ostagar and when she left again to continue fighting the Blight, we had a bit of a rebellion amongst the ranks of the mages. Blood magic, powerful demons running about, the Right of Annulment hanging over our heads… but that is a completely different story to be saved for another day.
My pen has suddenly loosed itself into spewing words all over the page, but bear with me as this is important to explain just what happened during the latter part of the birth of the royal twins.
The important part is that I owed Wynne a great debt, due to her actions during this revolt. It's how I ended up in Denerim in the first place, helping her and the King and Queen this past year. Assisting her in conceiving and birthing the heir to the throne was a small way I could help repay some of what I owed her.
In short, Wynne saved my life during Uldred's Revolt, while almost dying herself in the process. Were you to speak to her, she would say she did in fact die, but personally I'm not wholly certain about that.
What I do know is that she was close enough to death that a spirit from the Fade crossed over the Veil and bonded with her, body and soul. Not all spirits of the Fade are molded by our evil or dark intentions, some are shaped by the brighter parts of the human psyche. This spirit was one such. It sustained Wynne, extending her life past that moment when she should have left us to join the Maker, while at the same time lending her some of its powers. It was this spirit that saved the life of our Queen and her daughter.
Prince Duncan's birth was rather uneventful, if such things can even begin to be described as "uneventful". The lead up to it was lengthy, but not in any way noteworthy for a first time mother, so Sabina says. It seemed like an eternity to me, however I myself am still not wholly versed nor even comfortable with the whole process, for all that I find it fascinating.
It was his sister's birth that brought us considerably more problems. Instead of lining up to be born head first, as is typical and most safe, she had turned herself upside down, or right side up I suppose depending on how you look at it. Sabina called it "birthing breech" I believe. So Wynne and I decided it was worth the risk to intervene at that point, attempting to flip the baby over so that she could be born more easily. As it turns out, this was not as easy in practice as it sounded in theory. In hindsight I suppose we should have known that things could easily go that way. The Queen began losing a lot of blood, and the pain the process caused seemed… well, better that I not even attempt to describe it.
During the procedure, Queen Elissa passed out of consciousness. Under Wynne's direction, I continued doing as I was doing, and moved the little princess into what seemed to be the ideal position. It was then that Wynne focused her energies on the Queen, her body going stiff, her eyes closed, her hands glowing lyrium blue. Speaking with King Alistair after this was all over, he described it as her "calling on the spirit", something he had seen her do many times during the Blight. As best we can figure, Wynne infused the spirit that sustained her into Queen Elissa in some way, a way that re-awoke her and gave her the strength to continue the birthing process. After the spell was cast, Wynne fell to the floor, but given the chaos and the fact that this seemed normal after her exerting so much magical energy, no one was very worried about her at that moment. One of Sabina's apprentices moved her off to side so that she would not get hurt in the commotion, and there was far too much going on at that time for us to give Wynne more than a cursory glance.
It was not until after the princess was safely born that I went to check on my mentor. She was not unconscious. What she had done, calling upon the spirit that was keeping her alive… it killed her. The spirit left her body entirely, and in its wake her body could no longer sustain itself. I know that this is what I feared would happen to her, someday, ever since the event in the Tower where she saved my life. I suppose I should not have been as surprised as I was, that she had given of herself to another so willingly and so completely. Wynne was always one to put those she cared for above herself, after all.
The King and Queen have named their daughter Eliwynne, in her honor. A noble gesture in and of itself, but this was apparently not sufficient enough of a reward for Wynne's sacrifice, or so says our Warden King. He has decreed that from this point forward, the Circle of Magi in Ferelden is free from the oversight of the Chantry. While naturally this is a boon that we mages never expected to receive, I am uneasy as to where this gesture will lead us, and whether or not the Chantry will let us go about our way without a fight. That being said, if we can find a way to monitor ourselves and reduce the risk of demonic possession, being free from Andraste's ever-present hanging sword is a thing that we mages have always dreamed of. They do say to be careful what you wish for… especially in the context of magic.
Perhaps it is presumptuous of me to write of this, but this new found freedom has allowed me to contemplate an opportunity that would have been impossible were I to be required to live in the Tower for the rest of my days. Sabina has asked me if I wish to accompany her to Danespear, a freeholding near the mouth of the River Dane. The bann's brother approached her earlier this week, and inquired as to the possibility of her accompanying him back home to assist the bann's wife with the birth of their child. She wants me to accompany her, to use my magic to assist her midwifery as we did here in Denerim for Queen Elissa. The thought of a mage using her talents, openly and freely, to perform a service beyond healing or warfare... The more I think about it, perhaps that is King Alistair's goal. A humbling thought for those who have been treated as barely-tamed wild beasts for all of their lives.
Wynne would be glad to know that Prince Duncan and Princess Eliwynne are fairing well. It is hard to believe that they were born a mere two weeks ago. It both feels like their birth happened yesterday, and yet at the same time it happened years and years ago. Which is ridiculous, of course, but there it is. They are the pride of the entire palace, not least of which being their doting parents, the King in particular. Don't misread me, Queen Elissa clearly loves her children, she just seems more reserved about the whole thing while King Alistair is unabashedly proud. It is a long recovery process for the Queen, I'm certain. We have done all we can for her, but even with magical assistance healing is a matter of time.
It must be said – the prince and princess are adorable, in the way that only newborn babies can be. Prince Duncan is bald save for a tiny wisp of brown hair, while Eliwynne's hair is straw-blonde. Sabina says that their hair could and probably will change as they grow, just as their eyes could easily change from their current blue color. The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know, yes?
I will be sad to leave them, after having spent so much time worrying about keeping them safe. I'm sure their parents would disagree with me, but from where I'm standing the twins actually being born is almost anti-climatic. We worried and fretted and cast spells and worked so very hard to get them here... and now that they're here, they are in the care of others. Which is as it should be, but it does make me feel a bit like an extra wheel on a cart. Thankfully Sabina and I are leaving for Danespear on the morrow. Leborah is staying here with Irving, taking Wynne's place as mage adviser to the throne. I doubt that Irving will sit by idle, but since the man is technically in his retirement Leborah kindly volunteered to officially take on the role. It will be some time before he overcomes his grief over the loss of Wynne, but I have faith that there are those here who care enough about him to watch over him and keep him busy.
Poor Irving. I don't even want to imagine being in his shoes right now. He has mostly kept to himself, seen only briefly during Wynne's cremation ceremony a week ago wherein he gave a poignant and beautiful eulogy. We all grieve in our own ways, but to watch him is the most difficult. The royal couple grieves as if they lost a beloved grandmother. Countless mages in the Tower mourn her passing, for they owe her their gratitude for all that she has taught them over the years, not to mention King Alistair's recent decree of our freedom. Myself... well, apparently I grieve by being presumptuous enough to think I am worthy of writing the conclusion to the journal of Wynne's last days. I wonder what that says about me, though perhaps I am better off not knowing the answer.
Ferelden as a whole owes Wynne much, thanks to her role during the Blight as well as her efforts to ensure the succession of the Theirin bloodline. I am told it was she that kept the Wardens alive atop Fort Draken, long enough to see the Archdemon slain and the Darkspawn threat turned back to the Deep Roads. Perhaps the spirit within her sensed her efforts of this last year, and deemed it to be her last true service to her fellow man. Or perhaps it was all just a matter of circumstance, and the spirit's power had dwindled away to nothing after being called upon one last time. Perhaps we shall never know the truth. But I know for certain that Wynne shall be missed by all those who knew and loved her. Ferelden is a poorer place for her loss.
Maker bless you, Wynne. May you return to the His side and walk in His light.
A/N: This is the end of the journal portion of this fic. As time and my muse permits, I will be adding on "outtake" chapters, third party omnipotent views of some of the scenes Wynne touches on. Given my track record at updating, however, don't expect them to be frequent updates. ;)
I also want to thank all those who have stuck with me through the past three months. This has been my first serious mulit-chapter fic, and I feel I've learned a lot. I could be wrong, of course, it happens more often than I like to admit. ;P Special thanks to the #swooping_is_bad crowd (you know who you are!) who kept knocking me upside the head and making me update. Those "OMG Odie updated!" comments were very inspiring as well!
"You can find happiness in doing your duty. When you put others before yourself, their happiness becomes your happiness."