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Chapter 9: painted faces
Put a silk on a goat and it is still a goat. - Irish Proverb
Jasper was brooding…now normally he left all the brooding and sulking up to his brother; Edward had always been better at this sort of thing but lately circumstance and the people around him were overloading him with confusion, angst and…lust?
Yeah, don't ask him about the last one either….why his brother had been a potent mix of anger, confusion and lust since this morning; Jasper did not want to know. He had assumed it was something to do with Jacob showing up, maybe having his rights challenged by the big Neanderthal (okay he didn't really think that the Quileutes were Neanderthals, but he was in a bad mood at the moment so he would call them whatever the hell he wanted) had reawakened his feelings for his girlfriend?
In all honesty that was the only explanation that Jasper could come up with that fit his brothers turmoil emotions… unfortunately it wasn't the one he was hoping for. And yes he could admit it…he had secretly been glad that things were rocky between Bella and Edward.
Other then Rosalie he was probably the largest proponent for 'not turning Bella'…or even 'not dating Bella'. The second because he was really tired of having to resist wanting to tear out her throat….most of the time he wished that he had been successful in doing so that first year the 'happy' couple was together. The first simply because he thought that she was bad news for all of them…they all became vampires because they had no choice what type of person does this willingly?
Not to mention he simply didn't trust the girl…her emotions and her words didn't always add up and he got the feeling that she was with Edward because of what it got her not because of how she felt. So yes, he was brooding.
He wasn't even going to touch on how confused and attracted he was to the black haired boy who was currently entering the classroom. Nope. Not going to start obsessing about that. He might be brooding but he was so not going to pull an Edward and run away from or alternatively, stalk the boy. Now that was truly insane.
Mrs. Heinz shushed the rambunctious room made up of a mix of juniors and seniors, really having no effect at all. In the spirit of 'coming together' as a school, the Principle had the bright idea of having older and younger grades work together on a 'project'.
English was the chosen subject and Juniors were to be paired with a senior student, while sophomores and freshmen were going to be tossed together…Jasper spent a brief moment wondering what poor soul would get Jane or Alec as a partner…that freshmen would likely need serious psychological intervention after this was finished.
"Class…Class quiet down now…boys and girls please stop talking" Mrs. Heinz was trying to be heard over the din of gossiping students. Jasper felt a small amount of pity for the mousy teacher…really she hadn't been at this job for long, maybe a few years out of college and he somehow felt as though she really wouldn't be in it for much longer. It never did for the students to smell fear…they were like rabid dogs in that way.
A sharp whistle broke out over the noise and everyone went silent instantly looking in the direction it had come from. "Shut the hell up and listen to the lady" Hayden snapped out clearly irritated -with what (his classmates, their rudeness, the teachers incompetence, or just having to be here period) Jasper wasn't sure.
Surprisingly, everyone listened. That was another thing about Hayden that Jasper noticed…the teen, despite how petite and harmless he looked had a way of making those around him do what he wanted…and even more surprising was the fact that most of them did it out of fear or trust. Somehow the green eyed teen just radiated a threat yet made people want to confide in him. It was an oxymoron.
"um…uh…yes, thank you for that Mr. Prince…uh so now that I have your attention…" Mrs. Heinz began her rambling explanation for just what they were going to be doing for their project; something about Transcendentalism (and hadn't Jasper done that a billion times already) and being assigned an important persona from that era.
Jasper tuned her out until she started to read out the partners list…and really this was the worst part of the 'whole pretend to be student thing', he had to suffer through being partnered with a human and not trying to tear their throats out. Yeah it was an issue.
Out of all their classes, English was the one class where Alice and Edward were placed in a different section so he couldn't even try to talk the teacher into letting him pair with one of them (not that it would have worked anyway, what with them also being seniors).
"Mr. Cullen and Mr. Prince you will do a report on David Thoreau…It is to be at least 5000 words long and cover his life and how he added to this time period" Mrs. Heinz stated.
For a moment Jasper could have sworn he saw a look of unease pass over the beautiful teens face but it was gone before he could even blink and replaced by the confident, flirty look the teen normally wore. Hayden stood up gracefully and walked over to where Jasper was sitting (at the back as far away from anyone as he could without looking like a complete ass) dropping down into the seat next to him.
"Jasper" Hayden greeted, his tone was low and silkily and if Jasper was being honest with himself, it was doing something to him that was really not appropriate in the middle of English.
Once again Jasper was unable to read any emotion from the teen. "Hayden" he returned the greeting feeling a tad foolish but unsure what else he could say when his brain was trying to tie itself in a knot, "So what do you want to do?" he finally settled on shifting uncomfortably at the amused smirk Hayden sent him.
"Hmmm…I can think of many things I want to do Jasper…" Hayden answered- and did he mean it to sound as suggestive as it did? Jasper wondered glad that he couldn't blush, "…unfortunately I really don't think any of them would be…appropriate"
Hayden just seemed to smile wider at Jasper's obvious discomfort, before he changed the subject and the tone of their conversation dramatically.
"I say we meet after school sometime this week…research the topic, then one of us can type it up while the other works on presentation?" he asked in a light voice as though he hadn't been just flirting? (If that's what you want to call it) with Jasper a second ago. Honestly it was enough to give the poor vampire whip lash.
"Er…yeah. Sure that works" Jasper managed doing his best to hide just how confused this conversation was leaving him. Dammit he was the empath…he wasn't supposed to be the one getting all twisted around by feelings.
Hayden leaned back in his desk and studied the blond beside him for a moment, "So…why did you join the Cullens? From the stories I've heard about you, you weren't exactly brought up the same" he asked. Jasper searched his voice for a hint of mocking or derision but found only genuine curiosity. Deciding to take a risk and maybe at least establish some type of rapport with the confusing human (and was he human? He sure didn't smell like one) he tried to answer as honestly as he could.
"With my gift…" he started because he was sure that Hayden already knew about him being an empath it really wasn't that huge of a secret and there was no way that Aro and his brothers didn't know, "…I found it…." He struggled with a word that would fit how being surrounded by newborns everyday and being the one to dispose of them effected him, "…confusing" he finally settled on.
"Confusing?" Hayden asked an eyebrow quirked.
"Yes…confusing….my role for Maria was in a way similar to the Volturi's role…I was to train the newborns she turned, and then get rid of them when they had served their purpose. It was very difficult to be surrounded by such volatile emotions day in day out. With humans…their emotions fluctuate and change but with newborns it's so much stronger. Everything that they feel is that much more potent. At times it was very hard to distinguish their emotions from my own" Jasper admitted.
He was surprised with how much he was telling Hayden (again there was just something about the teen that caused you to either fear or trust him). He hadn't even been truly honest with his own coven (for as much as Carslie wanted to believe that they were a family the word just didn't seem right for the type of creatures they were). He had told the group that he had grown depressed because he felt guilty for killing the newborns that he did.
While there was a small amount of truth in that (he wasn't heartless after all) the true reason he had become despondent was because he was constantly being overwhelmed by others emotions. It got to the point where he could barely stand to enter the same room as the newborns, much less train them. So when Peter had offered him a way out in exchange for his life, Jasper had agreed readily.
Then Alice came along and he found hope that he could exist within a group of vampires without going mental (it helped that they were much older and their emotions were better controlled, not to mention their lifestyle was more peaceful and less likely to cause tormentuous emotions…well until Bella came along that is).
He didn't know if Edward had read his true reasons for joining the Cullen coven but if he had, his brother never mentioned it. Then again Jasper was careful with his thoughts around Edward…a left over paranoia from having grown up in the middle of a war.
"Yes…I could see how that would be…hard to handle" Hayden agreed softly, twisting an ugly ring on his finger as he spoke for once having dropped the mask of arrogant superiority. When Jasper didn't answer the teen continued, "I felt how overwhelming the emotions that surround you were…I truly can't imagine feeling that day in and day out" he admitted softly before his eyes widened in surprise.
Somehow Jasper was pretty sure the green eyed enigma hadn't meant to say that last bit out loud. What did he mean? He had felt Jasper's gift? Was this something to do with his own mysterious gift? Was it just him or could he adopt every gifted vampires ability…it would explain why Aro and the others valued him so much. To have that gift…the potential advantage was phenomenal.
Jasper was dying to ask the teen but somehow knew better so he let the comment pass without mention. Maybe Hayden would eventually trust him enough to tell him just what his gift was and about his mysterious past. To trust him enough to confide in him.
For some reason Jasper wanted that desperately.
He wanted…no needed Hayden's trust.
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Blood red eyes skimmed the surrounding forest quickly; the equally red headed vampire they belonged to perched precariously in the branches of a tree, allowing her a greater vantage point to survey the area.
Forks.
It left such a foul taste in her mouth. No, that wasn't fair; she really couldn't blame the small little hamlet of a town for that…it was rather more its inhabitants fault. Or rather a certain coven residing in it.
Victoria had never considered herself an overly violent person when she was alive; she had actually been quite the opposite. Good at dodging and escaping confrontations…her instincts had always served to help her avoid such violence…well except for that one time. Looking back on it, she couldn't say whether or not she regretted what had happened to her…the ambush of course was rather unpleasant but what she had become after was a worthy enough compensation.
She had never regretted becoming a vampire…someone faster, stronger and wilier then she would have ever become as a human. She had met James, and while he was not her destined mate- they were happy together. He had a blood thirsty edge and love for games that she found attractive.
He was good and hunting and finding, she was good at running and evading…somehow their opposite natures fit together just right.
And now he was gone.
And it was all because of one pathetic little human….it wasn't the fact that James had been murdered that infuriated her so…no it was the fact that he had been murdered to protect a human of all things. It was like killing a butcher to save a cow…it was just wrong.
She didn't understand what was wrong with the Cullen's….how could they possibly kill one of their own? It was just not done….not over something like this. She had no other choice but to get revenge for their actions. She needed to right this travesty….to fix it.
If James was dead, then there was no way that Bella Swan should be allowed to continue breathing. She had, had a brief moment of hope when she heard rumors that Bella and Edward were to face the Volturi…surely they would get justice for her love. It had been crushing when that did not happen. She didn't know what the Volturi had said or done, but she knew that Bella swan was still breathing.
Well, if the Volturi wouldn't fix this…then she had no other choice but to do it herself. It was this one consuming thought that had brought her back to this rainy little town. She had one purpose and one purpose only.
She didn't care who or what she had to break to accomplish it. She would destroy them for what they did….
Whatever it took.
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jasper arrived home in a surprisingly good mood. It was rather disconcerting how his somber mood had suddenly lightened after a mere hour with Hayden. That fact really should have been telling.
The rest of their hour together had been spent with surprisingly light and interesting conversation. Jasper was a little shocked to find out just how educated Hayden was and they had quickly become engrossed in a fierce debate over whether or not Thoreau's writings had any influence while the man was still alive.
Jasper couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed a class so much….he was almost disappointed when the bell signaling the end of the class went off. Hayden had left him with a parting smile, one that Jasper was desperately trying not to read too much into.
The ride home had been silent, it was that way more and more these days with both of his siblings lost in their own thoughts, while Jasper tried to keep his own thoughts from drifting back to the green eyed teen… he really didn't want Edward in his head at the moment.
It wasn't until they had pulled up to the house that any of them stirred from their own contemplations. Alice cleared her throat and looked at Jasper, "Jazz we really need to talk" she stated in a small quiet voice.
It really shouldn't have been that earth shattering to hear those words, but considering just how little they had been talking in the past few months it made Jasper pay attention.
"Er…I will leave you too it" Edward stated awkwardly before all but bolting from car. Jasper knew from his brother's expression that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.
He turned slightly in his seat to look at his wife, "About what?" he asked although he had a feeling he knew where this was going.
"About us, Jazz…" Alice replied letting out a very human sigh, "…it's…we're not working" she stated and quickly began again when she saw Jasper about to protest. "No Jazz… we're not and we haven't been for a while. I still care for you and I know that you care for me…but it isn't enough anymore" she said sadly staring beseechingly at him as though to will him to agree with her.
Jasper found himself swallowing. As much as he had known that this was coming…the distance the silence, it still hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew they had been having issues with their marriage; it wasn't the same easy going- happy relationship it had once been, but he had never thought they wouldn't work things out. That they wouldn't talk it through and go back to how they once were.
They had been together for so long….he wasn't entirely sure how not to be with her. "D-did you see something?" he managed to ask forcing his on chaotic feelings down.
"…I-I don't know" she admitted guiltily.
"You don't know?" Jasper asked this time sounding skeptical.
"…like I said before I can't get a clear reading on anything anymore….at least on most things…but I feel as though it is important that we don't stay together…I don't know why but I can't get rid of that feeling…." She trailed off now studying her hands.
Jasper didn't answer. He didn't really know how to answer that statement…he was a mess right now, everything was changing and he didn't know how to make sense of it all. His confusing interactions with Hayden, his bitterness and loneliness with his coven and his wife telling him that they were done. So he did the only thing he could think of in the moment…he agreed.
"Fine. Is that all?" he asked his own voice sounding glacial even to his own ears.
"Jazz…" Alice whispered sounding desolate, he was sure had she still been human tears would have been falling. But at the moment he didn't want to deal with her hurt or sadness…was it too much to ask to for once be allowed to deal with only his own grief?
"Please….just leave" Jasper stated not looking at her…just wanting to be alone for two seconds to figure out his own emotions and what feelings were simply being transferred.
"Alright" Alice agreed softly opening the door to the car and stepping out, "I'm sorry Jazz, I truly am" she said softly before walking towards the house leaving him to sit in the car alone.
"So am I" he whispered back quietly when she was out of sight, "so am I".