Disclaimer: I do not own any of InuYasha's characters or the story.

To Escape a Tainted Body

Kagome

These monsters were chasing me. Everywhere I ran. Everywhere I turned, they were there. Get them away from me. Get them away! They kept coming after me. Please stop! I kept running. Get away! But I couldn't beat them. And they knew it. Someone help me! No one can hear me. Is anybody there? Please! No one will find me. Help! My legs became as heavy as trying to move two steal boulders. Me efforts became futile. This can't be happening! The monsters were right behind me now. Please don't hurt me! I am within their grasp. My legs give out and I fall to the ground in defeat. No!

Oh yes. A voice answered.

I looked up. Who's there? I searched frantically for the voice. Please tell me who you are! I begged.

I heard the sound of footsteps come my way. The monsters began to fade into the air one by one. I could slightly see the figure of a woman walking towards me. Who are you? I asked again.

Finally, the figure began to come into focus. But this was not the person I was expecting to see. Kikyo?

She smiled at me evilly. Hello, Kagome.

My eyed widened at her. What…? What is this?

She laughed. This is your mind now, Kagome. Can't you see? She spread her arms wide. Your body has been tainted and destroyed beyond repair. Those monsters are the torment of your un-cleanliness. They have eaten through pieces of your mind as your body suffered from its permanent scars. She pointed a cruel finger at me. This little figment of you in front of me is the only pure part left. The only part that has managed to keep itself clean. She gave me a onceover. This is a very small percentage for such a big mind and body. You don't have much left to live for.

I shook. What are you saying?

She laughed again. Theirs is no reason for you to live. You have nothing left to live for. So you might as well just die now.

I glared at her. I have plenty to live for! And I knew just the thing. I have friends. All of them who care about me. Sango, Miroku, Koga, Ayame, Sesshomaru, Kagura, InuTaisho, Izayoi and-

InuYasha? She finished.

I nodded. Especially him. I would without a doubt fight for him.

She grinned at me with pure evil. I wouldn't waste your time with that, Kagome.

I forced myself to stand up. Why wouldn't I? He's my best friend!

Don't you mean…was? She asked.

A huge jolt of pain soured through my body and shattered my heart. She laughed again before saying, Did you really forget? He chose me over you, you pathetic little girl. Now come on, Kagome. I know that you're not that stupid. She blew at her nails. Add to that, why would he want to be friends with you now? What with what you are covered in. You are soaked from Toshi's touch. He will always linger on your body. That will never go away.

She walked up to me and jabbed me in the chest with her finger. Don't waste your time, Kagome. You'll dirty everyone and everything. Her smile became lethal. You are nothing to him, Kagome. Not now, if you ever were. What with how tainted and disgusting you are, no one will think twice about coming near you. You are an abomination to the world. So do us all a favor and die.

She used that one perfectly manicured finger and pushed me back. I didn't fight her. I let myself fall into the dark void that would swallow me whole. Letting it take whatever that was left of me. She's right. I thought. Why should I fight to live when InuYasha won't accept me? Why would he accept me? Why would anyone accept me?

I truly should die…

"Miss Higurashi?"

Huh? Who is that?

"Miss Higurashi, can you hear me?"

Yes, I can hear you.

"I'm not getting a response, doctor." The voice said.

I just said I can hear you, lady. What else do you need?

I heard footsteps come toward me. "She's coming to, Nikimo." It was a man. "She just needs to react to her surroundings first."

What the…? That was when I could feel that I was lying on something soft, yet not that comfortable. I flexed my fingers once and curled them into a fist. I felt around next to me and I could feel a soft blanket.

"You see, Nikimo?" The male said. "She's finally waking up."

Where am I? I furrowed my brows and tried to open my eyes. Why were my eyelids so heavy? I couldn't open them. I gave it another shot and almost got it. I took a deep breath through my nose and gave it one last go. Got it. I blinked once…twice…three times, trying to get things to come into focus. But all I could see was a light blue. What was this?

"I see you are finally awake, Miss Higurashi." The male voice said.

I looked up and finally found the voice to the man. "Where am I?" My voice sounded hoarse for some odd reason.

He smiled gently. "You're safe. You're in the hospital."

My eyes widened. "The hospital?"

He nodded. "You were taken here by the ambulance. Do you remember anything that happened?"

I shook my head slightly. "My mind is a little fuzzy."

He patted my leg. "You suffered some minor injuries but no worries, nothing too terribly damaged. You have one cracked rib, some scratches, rope burns on your wrists and ankles, and a few bruises here and there but other than that you're just fine."

When he was talking and telling me of my injuries, my mind wandered off back into realization. I remember now. I thought as my mind clouded. Kikyo, Naraku and Toshi had tortured me. And I wasn't able to fight Toshi off. What is wrong with me?

"Miss Higurashi?" The doctor asked.

I looked back up at him. "Could leave me alone for a moment? I need to think."

He nodded in understanding. "Of course. Take all the time you need." He ushered the other nurse to follow him out the door. Before closing it he said, "Press that red button next to you if you want anything, okay?" At my nod he shut the door.

My shoulders started to quake as the first hit of tears attacked me. It's all over! I thought. Any hopes I had. My dreams. All gone! I turned to my side and curled into a ball. Letting the pain and grief eat my soul and whatever being was left of me. And if what Kikyo said was right…there wasn't much left.

My sobs quieted down to small tiny sniffles. I wiped away the remainder of my tears when my thoughts finally became clear. I need to die. It was the only way. I couldn't let InuYasha see me like this.

I quickly got up out of the bed and gently took out the IV. I ran to the drawers and pulled out some nurses clothes. Who know they had some there? Interesting. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I hastily took off my hospital gown, not daring to look at myself in the mirror. I knew it was not something to look at.

No underwear. Damn it!

Oh well who cares? I'm going to die soon anyway. But that was another issue. I pulled the big shirt over my head and pulled the pants up my legs. I put the socks on my feet and the nurses shoes came on next. When I was done I closed the toilet seat and sat down. How was I going to do this?

Cut my wrists? Too obvious.

Hang myself? Too creepy.

Drown myself? Too slow.

Drug overdose? From what I heard too painful.

I banged my head against the wall in frustration. If I did any of these, they would find my body. What am I supposed to do! Then it hit me. The lighthouse! There was a restricted area that led to a cliff. I fiddled with my fingers as I contemplated what to do. If I jumped off the cliff…then no one would find me. I could easily crack my skull open. And when I die, I'll sink to the bottom of the sea. I say that it would be the perfect way to go.

It was settled then. I unlocked the bathroom door, tried to fix the bed, grabbed a baseball cap that was randomly sitting there for some reason, put my hair in a bun, and was out the door.

The nurses wouldn't be able to tell if I was actually a patient. Not with these clothes. But just in case, I made sure to walk quickly to the elevator. Couldn't take any chances and see if anyone could recognize me. As soon as I was inside, I pressed the button for the lobby. I felt in the pockets and pulled out some yen. Well wasn't that nice? Enough cash to get me a taxi and take me to the lighthouse. Wonderful.

As soon as the elevator beeped and the doors open, I didn't waste anytime. I quickly ran out the doors and hailed the nearest taxi. Once it stopped, I climbed in and gave the driver the address of my intended location.

Once he drove off away from the hospital I had to use all my strength to fight back my tears.

This is it. I'm going to die. And no one will miss me. Maybe this is a good thing. I should have never been born anyway. Not with this tainted body. It's time for me to die.