Paper Luigi X
Chapter 10: Married for Taste
"…and he was trying act like he was the boss of me! "Oh, I'm gonna tell your dad!" What's up with that?!?!"
"Calm down Malon! He was just looking out for you…and murdered my uncle!"
"They didn't know Blooey, don't give them too much trouble…"
"Then I'll give it all to you like you gave me this tan!"
"I'm not a liar either! What made you think you could go and say that?!"
"It's true, ya old jerky a-"
"Don't make me turn this boat around!"
"Sorry Bosco…"
Bosco gave a firm nod and continued over the vast ocean. It was going to be an overnight trip, which meant they had to sleep on the boat. Blooey was the first to collapse, snuggling up on Malon. Malon giggled softly and hugged him like a teddy bear. Luigi didn't show any signs of being tired, due to being deep in thought. Malon tried to stay awake with him, but she tumbled into sleep very slowly. Her head landed on Luigi's shoulder when she was fully unconscious. Luigi didn't bother to move.
"How can you drive all night Bosco?" Luigi asked, trying to start up a light conversation. Bosco let out an amused hum.
"Years and years of practice…and patience. You get used to blocking out the urge to sleep eventually…"
He turned to give Luigi a smile, but Luigi just seemed so down. "What's the matter with you Master Luigi? You seem a big saggy…"
Luigi turned his head away from Bosco. "I feel like I'm endangering Malon…and Blooey. I'm afraid me and my klutzy antics will get them hurt…I already cooked Blooey, just think of what I could do to Malon!"
"You seem to care a lot about Lass Malon, don't cha?"
"Well of course! She's my friend and…I know where this is going. Don't even think about it Bosco!"
"Heh heh, sorry. You catch some shut eye . I'll be fine."
Luigi yawned, and nodded. He felt snug and warm, considering Malon's hair was making a nice blanket…
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Luigi's eye's fluttered open just as dawn cracked. Or, at least, that's what he thought.
"It's about time you woke up!" Malon chuckled, serving Blooey a sandwich. "It's already lunch time!"
"I'm not hungry. It's going to remind me of meat, then fried food, then…me!" Blooey moaned dramatically. Luigi rolled his eyes.
"So you're well done now. You're going to be like that, so get used to it!" Luigi grunted.
"…ah! You're right! I'm going to be eaten by some jungle beast!"
"Luigi! Stop giving Blooey daymares!"
Bosco heard them starting up again, so he told them he spotted the Strudel Continent. Everyone instantly sat down and shut up. Bosco was proud his plan had worked. But, in truth, they really were approaching the continent.
"We'll be arriving soon! So be prepared!"
Soon-
"If you need me, I'll be waiting here!"
"See you soon Bosco!" Malon called, waving.
"All right! Let's go get that Compass Piece!" Luigi cheered. There was a nice clear path, leading them straight to the village. "This is going to be super easy!"
"Yeah okay…that's what you said when you threw me into-oh I don't know…LAVA?!" Blooey hissed.
"I didn't say that! I said "All you man!"" protested Luigi. Malon stopped moving and turned to them both.
"You wanna know what I said?! SHUT UP!" she roared. Both males became dumbstruck. "Blooey, I know you have an extreme grudge against Luigi, and Luigi, I know you would have never dreamed of doing that, but seriously, just give it a REST! Good Lord!"
Luigi passed out from being overwhelmed with the rant. Blooey laughed at him. While he was laughing, he happened to turn his head to see a snake looking creature slither up to them. "Uh-oh. We've got company, and it doesn't look pleasant…"
Luigi snapped out of it. "What a snake…get it? Snake…and he is a snake?"
Everyone, including the snake, stared at him. Luigi laughed nervously and began the battle. The Snake (AKA Hissy) had 10 HP. He started off with a nasty Hammer hit, Malon an arrow, and Blooey with his Torpedo. The Hissy sank into the ground and sprung up like a Piranha Plant, biting Luigi and poisoning him with venom. Luigi staggered, gripping the painful scar in his arm, and jumped on the snake. The Hissy collapsed under the mighty might of the plumber's shoe.
"What was that thing?" Malon wondered. As if to answer her question, what sounded like an army of snakes were hissing at the same time, farther down the path. Faint screaming was also heard.
"That can't be good…" shivered Blooey.
"yeah I'm out!" yelped Luigi, darting away instantly. Malon grabbed the strap of his overalls before he got away.
"C'mon! We have to hurry! Those people could be in danger!"
Luigi whimpered, but Malon overpowered him and was dragged off. Hissys and Plumbellians who were forced to be slaves attacked the trio down the path. Malon realized her flute had restored it magic at last, re-summoned Epini, and they took off to Plumpbelly Village.
"Something's off here…" Malon pointed out just as she gave Epini a hug before her horse teleported away. "There's no females here!"
Luigi and Blooey hadn't really noticed that detail, but realized Malon was right. On the other side of town, they could see a girl in a white dress screaming and being carried off by Hissys.
"We have to save her!" cried Malon rushing after them. A long arm reached across her path, causing her to fall backward. Luigi caught her, and they both looked up at the man who stopped them.
"Don't try following the Hissys, kids." he explained. "When one goes in, they never come out. Not only that, but those rogue snakes make sure no one that isn't supposed to be there stays away…"
"Who are you?" Blooey piped up.
"I am the Mayor of Plumpbelly Village, where Piantas, humans like myself, and rejected Frogs come to live."
"What's exactly is going on around here? People being carried off by snakes with legs, lack of girls…" Luigi rambled.
The mayor shook his head. "It is too long of a story to tell here. Come, to my house…it is one of the last safe places to go!"
----
Once they were comfortable in the mayor's abode, he started up the woeful tale about their village. he didn't get too deep into it, however.
"Sadly, I may be the mayor, but the town is ruled by a two-headed snake named Hizza! He only came because he had already eaten away the females of two other towns, and ours was next. The last girl in the village is my daughter, Strudel…"
"Daddy? Did you call?" a girl, one or two years older than Malon, asked, walking out. Blooey whistled, and Malon hit him. She had long blonde hair with a few red streaks trickling down in random spots, an elegant white dress, hazel eyes, and dainty whites shoes. Luigi and Blooey's jaws were dropped.
"No Strudel, I'm just telling the villagers of our fate…" Mayor sighed. "Hey! Why are you wearing that wedding dress! I will NOT have you sacrificed!"
"What does a wedding dress have to do with being sacrificed?" Malon asked.
"All sacrifices have to be wearing a wedding dress. We really have no idea why…" Strudel explained. She then turned to her father. "Daddy, if I am sacrificed, Hizza will finally leave our village! Isn't that what you want?"
The Mayor put his hands on his daughter's shoulders. "It's very brave of you to want to do that…but the only thing I want is you safe. I don't care if I have to be sacrificed to do that! Now go take that dress off."
"Yes Daddy…"
She went to return to her room, Blooey getting ready to follow, but Malon held him in place.
"Oh no you don't..." she grumbled.
"That was so beautiful…" Luigi, sobbed, dabbing his eyes with a tissue. Blooey rolled his eyes.
"Is Strudel really the last girl of the village?"
"I'm afraid so…just a few moments ago, her best friend Marikina was taken off…"
"I'm sorry that happened."
The Mayor nodded. Strudel came back out in normal teenager get-up, brushing a red strand out of her face. Malon seemed curious and told everyone she had to go to the bathroom.
"I just changed in the bathroom actually…" Strudel said. "Be careful of the dress!"
Malon scowled when no one was looking. "Oh I will…"
Strudel sat out in the living room, talking to Luigi and Blooey as the Mayor went to talk to Marikina's father. Malon heard them laughing outside the room, clenching her hand into a fist.
"That girl really irks me…" she huffed under her breath, shutting the bathroom door behind her. Malon didn't really have to go to the bathroom, she just needed to get away from Strudel. Her gaze drifted to the wedding dress, and Malon realized it was really pretty…
"Maybe she won't mind if I try it on…" Malon trialed. "It even comes with a diamond headband!"
-----
A few moments later, Malon walked out with the wedding dress on. She struck a pose as she said, "How do I look?"
Only no one was in the living room.
"Guys? Huh…maybe they went outside!"
Malon opened the door, just to see men and Piantas gawk at her and whistle. She blushed deeply as she ran by them all.
"Hello? Luigi? Blooey?"
Malon stood in the center of the town, where nobody seemed to be at except a few stalkers. She nervously tugged on her gloves and anxiously wondered where Luigi and Blooey were.
In a bush, one Hissy whispered to another. "That the final girl?"
"Yeah…" the other replied. "She's all dolled up and everything!"
"Hope the boss enjoys the last girl…"
They sprung out of the hiding place, tackled Malon, gagged her, and dragged her off into the forest.
"Hey!!! What're you doing?!" Malno cried, but her words were muffled through the gag. With one last hopeless effort, she cried out Luigi's name but she truly didn't know where he was...and things started to get dark for Malon.