So, one of my headcanons is that Anderson to Earthborn Shepard off the streets.

My other is that Zaeed is Earthborn Shepard's biological father

Sleepless

It was unusual that Thane couldn't sleep. When his soul had been dead, it had never been difficult to sleep. Nothing had any meaning, he didn't have any worries. But now, things were different. He was alive again, he could feel his heart beating, he could feel it flutter when Shepard kissed him, he could feel it almost stop when a bullet narrowly missed her. Food had taste again, the smell of old books once more brought joy.

But being alive didn't only bring good things. It brought worries as well. Had he put himself on the list for a transplant too late? How was Shepard going to cope with the loss of him? How was Kolyat going to cope? Had it been selfish to initiate a relationship when he was so close to death?

All of these questions caused Thane to lay awake at night, with a knot in his stomach. He had had a similar knot in his stomach after Kolyat was born and money was tight. He'd look at Irikah's sleeping form next to him in the bed, dreading to bring up returning to his old profession.

Perhaps it was easier to be dead. Thane thought as he poured himself a cup of tea in the empty mess hall. He had finally given up on sleep after tossing and turning in his cot for hours on end. Fleetingly, he had considered going up to Shepard's quarters, but had changed his mind. She needed sleep, and though he was known for his stealth, he knew Shepard was a light sleeper. She'd wake up as soon as the door to her quarters opened, if he decided to sneak in.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he made his way to the table and sat down. While Shepard always seemed forced to do something all the time, even when just having a cup of tea, Thane was more than happy to just sit and stare out into nothingness. Drell were always very good at disappearing into their own minds, he even more so. His hands were cupping the mug of tea and he tried to sort out the mess in his head.

But before he had gotten far into the labyrinth, Zaeed Massani, of all people, appeared in the mess. The mercenary looked troubled. His eyebrows were drawn together and his gaze was fixed on the floor in front of him. So, someone else lay sleepless tonight.

Thane looked at Massani's back as the older was doing something on the kitchen bench. From this position, Thane couldn't see what it was. However, Zaeed soon turned around with a bowl of cereal in his hands. Cereal seemed to be something all humans ate constantly. Thane didn't see the fascination with it. He had tried it once, out of curiosity, but it wasn't his thing. Fruits were his preferred breakfast.

"Krios." Massani said and sank down opposite the drell.

"Mr. Massani." Thane bowed his head a bit, as polite as always. After all, he had been raised by the hanar.

"Hey, stop with the 'mr' bullshit. And the bowing. It's just Zaeed, alright?"

"As you wish."

Silence fell between them, only occasionally interrupted by Thane putting his cup back on the table, or Zaeed's spoon scraping against the bowl.

"Can't sleep?" Zaeed asked as he pushed the bowl away from him.

"No." Thane admitted. "I assume you're in the same position?"

"I got hungry." He shrugged. "And, yeah, long story short... Have some shit to figure you, y'know?"

"I see."

Thane wasn't one to pry. Though he was curious by nature, he also knew when to keep his mouth shut. Prying rarely led to anything good. The last time he had allowed his curiosity to take over, it was that morning with Shepard after they had stopped Kolyat from killing Talid. She had taken it well, but Thane still scolded himself for that.

"What's keeping you up?" Zaeed asked and leaned back.

"Decisions, mistakes, guilt, love." Thane emptied his cup. He figured it was now safe to ask why the mercenary was up. "How about you?"

"Well..." Zaeed leaned his elbows on the table. "I recently found out I have a kid."

"Oh." That was the only thing Thane could think of saying. This was unexpected

"Yeah, it's messed up. I've had a daughter for thirty years and neither of us knew. Damn, I don't even know who her mum is!"

"Have you spoken to her?"

"About that I'm her dad?" Zaeed shook his head. "Nah, I doubt it would go down well. I heard she had a shitty childhood. Would probably blame me for that. Can't say I don't do the same. Not that I would have been a good father."

This was an interesting development. Thane couldn't for the life of him see Zaeed as a father. He recalled how he used to hold Kolyat while he was an infant and Irikah caught some much needed sleep. He'd stand at their living room window and look out over the dome city, gently rocking the bundle in his arms. Sometimes the blue little drell would scream and scream. Other times, he slept peacefully. When Thane tried to picture Zaeed in the same position, he almost let out a laugh.

"Since her mother didn't tell you about your daughter, she can't possibly blame you." Thane leaned back in the chair. "You cannot blame yourself either."

"Perhaps it's better for her not to know." It seemed like Zaeed was mostly talking to himself now. "It's been thirty years. Why would she want to know now?"

"It could possibly bring her some comfort, some explanation to why her childhood was like it was."

"I dunno, Krios." He sighed. "It's probably better that I wasn't around. She's a good person. Smart too. Kind. Nothing like me."

"So you've met her?"

"Yeah..." Zaeed looked down at his empty bowl. "Look, you can keep your mouth shut, right?"

"Of course." Thane said, frowning a bit now. Where was this going? "Gossip is not something I partake in."

"Good." He looked around to see that they were really alone. "Look, Shepard's my kid."

For the first time in a very, very long time, Thane was speechless. He blinked a few times and looked at Zaeed with disbelief. That wasn't possible. However, Zaeed's good eye had the same shade of green that Shepard's had.

"That's..." Thane started when he had gathered himself a bit. "Unexpected."

"You tell me!" Zaeed said and ran a hand through his greying hair. "When the Illusive Man told me, I didn't believe a word."

"What made you believe him?" Thane couldn't stop the questions now.

"DNA." He grumbled. "Pretty hard to argue with."

They sat silent as Thane allowed this to sink in properly. This was an interesting development. Did Shepard know about this? Thane doubted it. If she did, he didn't think she'd be as calm about it. Though she seemed at peace with her childhood and her previous mistakes, he knew that it still bothered her. Some scars never fade.

"You should speak with her." Thane said after he had managed to gather his thoughts. "She'd appreciate it."

"Yeah?" Zaeed raised an eyebrow. "What makes you so sure?"

Before Thane could answer this, the door to the elevator opened and the two men looked up just in time to see Shepard come around the corner, eyes fixed on the datapad in her hand. Clearing his throat, Zaeed grabbed his bowl and stood up.

"Thanks for the talk." The mercenary said as he walked over to the sink and just gave Shepard a short nod as he passed her.

Following Zaeed's example, Thane stood up and walked over to Shepard. She filled the kettle with water and as she waited for it to boil, she leaned against the counter. Her green eyes, exactly the same shade as Zaeed's, met his.

"I didn't know you and Zaeed were buddies." She smiled that sweet smile that only seemed to be for him. "Or that he liked to get up at half past two in the morning."

"Neither of us could sleep." Thane said, avoiding the first of Shepard's statements. He was still a bit thrown off balance by the new information.

"Damn, you too? I couldn't sleep either."

A low click informed them that the water had now boiled and Shepard filled her mug with steaming water. She then took the teabag that contained her favourite tea and dropped it into the water.

"So, what did you talk about? Any juicy gossip?"

Thane was silent a moment. One part of him wanted to tell her, to give her some closure. The other part of him remembered that he had promised Zaeed to not say anything. Thane cleared his throat.

"I promised Zaeed to not say anything." He explained, hoping Shepard wouldn't push it.

"Did he tell you I'm his daughter?"

"How-" Thane blinked. "How did you know?"

"Please, darling." Shepard gave him a peck on the lips. "One of my best friends is the Shadowbroker. Of course I know he's my father. It doesn't change shit, though. I am who I am. Finding my biological father when I'm thirty isn't going to change anything."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. I think." Thane wasn't really sure how to feel about all this.

The next time he couldn't sleep, he'd remember to stay in life support. This was just a bit too exciting for his liking.