Freedom and Faith
Arthur was sitting infront of the fire in his room, staring into the flames when I knocked on the door. He turned around and motioned for me to enter. While I stood beside him, I thought back through everything the knights and I had been through. Tomorrow they were going off to rescue a Roman family (mainly the son, Alecto) on the north of the wall. The Woads controlled the north of the wall, the knights hadn't fought them on their own land before.
"I wish to go with you tomorrow." I had spoken out of the blue, shocking myself as well. Arthur continued to stare into the fire, not speaking at first. I was worried that I had perhaps stepped over a line.
"You understand that we won't be able to watch your every move. And that we may have to fight the Woads." He had talked without looking at me at first but at the end he turned to face me, to gauge my reaction. Nodding, I knelt down and pressed my hand onto his shoulder.
"Do you believe in this mission Arthur?" He laughed humorlessly, shrugging his shoulders and continuing to stare into the fire.
"I believe that we're going to have to listen to the Bishop. But I also believe that the knights should be free."
We sat in silence, listening to the fire crackle. I watched the flames lick the sides of the fire place, trying to find images in the fire. Another question crept into my head and I had to break the silence.
"Are they going to survive this?" Again, a few moments past before Arthur spoke. He turned to face me, doubt showing on his face before being replaced by a confident mask.
"I'm going to do everything I can to make them." His voice was firm, even if the words weren't so reassuring. I nodded and then stood up to head towards the door to pack and get everything ready. Right after I grabbed the handle on the door, Arthur spoke.
"You'll be okay, with fighting the Woads?" I didn't want to think about it, I knew most of them so well.
"I'll do what I have to." I nodded to Arthur again and then headed out of his room towards the tavern. Vanora saw me first and waved me over with her free hand, balancing Eleven while trying to shoo Lancelot's hands from her sides.
"Can you take one of these babies off my hands dear? Preferably the one with the beard." Laughing, I hauled Lancelot up from the seat and started to lead him towards the doors. None of the other knights were in the tavern, they were probably all in their rooms by now. We started towards the rooms, Lancelot swaying lightly.
"Another mission, didya hear? Saving a Roman family. Suicide." He was mumbling under his breath and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the drunken knight. Freedom was within their grasps, they could taste it with every breath. And with barely a few sentences, they were stuck again.
After dropping Lancelot off at his room, I walked towards Gawain's door. I knocked lightly, telling myself that if he didn't hear it the first time I'd leave, and was surprised when the door opened. He was still dressed, didn't seem to have been sleeping at all. He ushered me in, handing me the blankets to cover with. I hadn't even noticed that I was only wearing a simple dress and it was kind of cold, not too much to handle though.
"How are you holding up?" He shrugged and went over to his ax which he had been sharpening apparently.
"We're all torn about this. This mission isn't our's, we should be gone. Yet we will stand by Arthur to the death, which this is." I shook my head and sat beside him, still his hands with mine.
"Don't think like that Gawain. Please." He nodded and continued to sharpen his ax, I could tell that he was still thinking about it. His own death, the death of the other knights, the death of Arthur. If he knew I was going as well, he would be thinking of my death as well. I would keep that to myself until the right time.
"Do you remember when Isaac was killed, you told me how you knights were broken up into brothers? Well, I see it that way too. Only, you're all my family, equally. Bors is the loud one, yet the one who sees me like a niece and takes care of me. Dagonet is almost like a father for me, ever since he saved me. Lancelot is the strange cousin that I try so hard to be mad at but I never seem to be able to. Galahad is a brother who I can joke with but who will also be the one to talk to me seriously. Arthur is the family patriarch who takes it upon himself to take care of everyone else first, including me, the outsider. And you, Gawain, are the closest relative I have here. I've run to you with my problems more than any of the other knights, I trust you with my life, physically and mentally. You're not just my brother Gawain, you're my best friend now."
Gawain had stopped sharpening his ax to watch me while I spoke. Tears had started pouring down my face and I laughed, fumbling to get my hands free from the blankets to wipe them away. Before I could though, Gawain had used a cloth to wipe them off my face.
"We all see you as a sister, as a cousin, as a friend. You've brought so much to us Loraina, we're lucky to know you." By this time, I was laughing and crying so much that the tears couldn't be wiped away fast enough. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face close to his hair.
"You can't talk about leaving forever Gawain, you can't." He nodded and wrapped his arms around me as well. I felt as if I was hugging my brother, not a Sarmatian knight. We sat like that for a while, just hugging onto each other. When we pulled apart, I could tell that he was touched by the conversation. He cupped my chin and made me look up at him. He nodded again, letting me know that he wouldn't talk about it again.
"I do have a question though. You listed everyone off besides Tristan. What is he to you?" He said it jokingly, a smirk on his lips now. I rolled my eyes and folded my legs under me and tucked the blanket in as well.
"I honestly have no idea." We both laughed, understanding that the scout was hard to be close to.
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The knights were in the stable, preparing themselves for their mission. They were sharpening their weapons, packing their saddles, and in Galahad's case, preparing their horse. Arthur was nowhere to be seen yet so I made my way towards Pree with my own weapons in my hand. Their eyes followed me, trying to figure out what I was doing.
"What do you think you are doing?" I turned to face Gawain who had spoken. He was sharpening one of his daggers but had stopped when I had walked by.
"Preparing Pree. I'm going with you." A moment of stunned silence followed by a mild uproar caused me to inwardly smile, realizing that the knights really did care about me.
"The hell you are. Have you talked to Arthur about this?"
"Of course she has." Everyone turned to watch Arthur make his way into the stables. Galahad, who was angry at the whole ordeal, started to run his horse in circles around Arthur. Understanding that the knight was angry, Arthur just continued to walk through.
"We talked it through last night. Loraina knows the consequences, she is set to accept them if she needs to." This was followed by another small uproar which I waved off. Gawain shot me a stern look, I realized that I had spent half the night talking to him and I hadn't mentioned that fact.
"You could use another bow. At best, the Woads wouldn't automatically attack one of their own, even a deserter like myself." The last bit came out bitter and I smiled, trying to will the thoughts away. The knights sighed in defeat and continued what they were doing. Patting Pree's nose, I packed my weapons onto his saddle. He pawed at the dirt and then pushed my face lightly with his own. He could feel the tense air, he knew something big was going on. And now he knew that he was part of it.
The Bishop and his guards made their way into the stable and watched us for a moment before he spoke.
"In place of the holy court, my trusted secretary Horton-- Horton?-- will accompany you on your journey." The faces of the knights changed as Arthur directed Jols to get a horse for him. They were angry and tense but could not speak out on it.
"My duty is also to my men." After the Bishop had spoken, Arthur had announced that only loud enough for the knights and myself to hear. There was a tense moment between the two Romans and I thought something might have happened the night before, something being said.
"Then bring them home." As the Bishop turned to leave, I felt anger pulsing through me. The knights should be leaving, they should be on their way out today. It wasn't right that they had to stay and do this mission, Rome's mission. They served their years, they were free men.
Biting down on my tongue, I continued to pat down Pree. The creature could tell that I was angry and he would occasionally nudge my shoulder with his nose. Horton, the Bishop's trusted secretary was sitting on one of the horses and trying to get used to the feel. The other knights started mounting their horses as well and I did the same. The horses started walking but soon it was a gallop towards the doors heading to the north.
We started on a path but it soon turned to woods. The path got darker and more narrow so we slowed our horses a bit so to keep better look out around us. My heart was tightening and I could feel the eyes from the woods resting on me. I fingered the bow and arrow placed infront of me, already notched, watching the shadows move in the woods. A growl erupted from somewhere to our right and I watched as the knights pointed their arrows in the direction.
"Stop!" I pushed Pree into the path of most of the bows and turned to the right. A blur of white was dodging between the trees, cautious of all the people surrounding me.
"You have a pet wolf?" When Arden appeared, the knights seemed genuinely shocked. I urged my horse forward and the line started moving again. Arden stayed beside of me, Pree not even paying attention to the large animal beside him.
"He isn't a pet, he's a companion." I turned my head to the left and saw that Tristan had a small smile on his lips. He had probably had that fight with the knights about the hawk as well.
We continued to push forward and the feeling of being watched didn't lessen. Finally Tristan spoke.
"Woads. They're tracking us." Arthur glanced back at his scout.
"Where?" Tristan glanced at me and we both spoke at the same time.
"Everywhere."
A/N: I want to thank everyone for their reviews.
For some reason FFnet wouldn't let me reply so I'll keep trying until they let me.
I hope that you like this one.
And thank you, everyone, for sticking with me.
Reviews are welcomed.