A/N: Another favourite Aussie artist of mine, Matt Corby, wrote this chapter's song called "Breathe". Thanks for reading and reviewing xx

YouTube - watch?v=l1NbDEG_xNw

Spotify - track/0dFWDIsDVXm8hWqQ2bYPsA

UPDATE: Let's be glad that someone in the reviews knows more about medical stuff and pulse oximetry than I do! Made a couple little changes to make it more believable. Clearly my watching ER and Grey's Anatomy still hasn't qualified me ahaha. And please keep letting me know if something I've written isn't how it's supposed to be, partiularly with medical terminology!

Chapter 11: Breathe

Alicia works. She works and works and puts all her energy into the cases she and Cary currently have. And then when she is forced to go home, she cleans. In her already clean kitchen, she scrubs and scrubs until there isn't a single spot left. And then, she does the work that she smuggles back from Florrick/Agos. This is how it's been for a week now, this cycle she's in, but she's doing just fine, thank you. She takes probably one too many sleeping pills, but doesn't actually sleep. She has a court hearing today, so she'll be in at the firm early anyway. Coffee will get her going.

Considering all these things, it's shouldn't come as a surprise when Alicia feels lightheaded as she stands up in court to object. She can't exactly remember why she's objecting in the first place.

"Mrs. Florrick?" Judge Morris presses.

"Your Honor… I, um…" It shouldn't be a surprise when she becomes so dizzy that it's difficult to stay upright. Her head pounds, but not painfully. It feels like it could just float away. Alicia's eyes, on the other hand, feel heavy. Actually now everything feels heavy. So heavy that she just lets her eyes close and sleeps. Finally.

She ends up back in hospital. Of course she does. She keeps trying to tell everyone that she's fine, just tired. Cary is not having any of it though, sitting there and staring at her anxiously. He leans forward and puts a hand on her arm.

"Alicia. What the hell's going on - why did you just faint out of nowhere?"

"Cary... The hearing, the Randal case? Is someone-"

"Seriously? That's what you're worried about right now?" She doesn't know what Cary wants her to say. So she just remains silent. After a moment, Cary sighs. "Bryan's getting a continuance. But you're not taking the case back Alicia, you're not coming back to work until you sort all of this out."

"Sort what out, Cary?!" She cries. Cary gives her a look that says, you. Sort you out.

"I'm getting a nurse, they don't know you've woken up again," Cary grumbles and walks off. Alicia isn't alone for long, however, as she notices a figure appear in the doorway.

Ruby.

She's standing there with her arms crossed, leaning on the threshold and fixing Alicia with a glare. It's the kind of look she used to give her kids when they were little, if they got in trouble. Big trouble.

"If you're just going to stare at me like that, you can leave," Alicia snaps.

The therapist lets out a huff, rolls her eyes and does exactly that. She leaves.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Alicia calls angrily. She stands up, feels a little dizzy and woozy when she does, but follows Ruby out - hospital gown, IV stand and all.

Ruby spots Alicia emerging from her room and walking out into the hall. Her eyes bug out in shock before immediately rushing over to the First Lady of Illinois.

"What the bloody hell are you doi- get back in there!" She exclaims and practically drags Alicia back into her room. Ruby shuts the door to avoid any curious eyes and continues in a low voice. "For your information, I'm not even supposed to be here. I've been removed from your case. That's not so surprising now, considering I've never had a patient come back to the hospital in a worse state than I left them. I've never had a patient try and kill themselves after I've spoken to them."

"Hey! I did not try to kill myself-"

"Well, you damn well could've fooled me!" Ruby hisses.

"And I'm NOT one of your... patients. And I'm not insane," Alicia continues, her voice starting to crack in emotion. "I just - I want everything to stop for a second. I j-just... I hurt."

"Oh, Alicia." Ruby pulls her into a tight hug, and lets this breaking woman sob into her shoulder. She doesn't hush her, because she needs to get this stuff out. She doesn't tell her it's going to be okay, because maybe it's not. She just holds her.

Kalinda hands the file to Will. "Castro and everyone at the States Attorney's office like to put people in general population for a quicker settlement. Including Jeffrey Grant. These are the emails."

Will looks over the documents with a frown but doesn't say a word. Kalinda presses on.

"Look, Alicia isn't the enemy here. She's not doing this to hurt you. She didn't leave the firm to hurt you, and she's not representing this kid to hurt you, either. The sooner you realize that, the better."

Alicia and Peter sit in awkward silence. They'd both agreed that the kids didn't need to see her like this, especially since it sounds like she will be discharged fairly soon.

Peter decides to speak up first. "So, are you… alright?"

"Well, I'm still alive and breathing if that's what you mean. But hey, don't take my word for it," Alicia retorts wryly, gesturing to the chart on the end of her bed.

Her husband gives her a deadpan look. "You know that's not what I mean." Alicia leans back and lets out a large sigh. She really doesn't want to be discussing this with Peter right now. "I thought you were going to be taking this time for yourself, after the shooting," he continues accusingly. "So imagine my surprise when I find out I've been looking after our children for the past two weeks, just so you could play house with Will Gardner."

An angry heat flushes through her whole body, and she shakes her head with a scowl. "Oh, don't even start, Peter."

"Start what?! You're acting as if it's my fault there have been three people in this marriage for the past-"

"Get out, Peter." Alicia presses her fingers into her forehead as hard as she can and closes her eyes. "Get out. Now."

"No! Now you might think it's alright to-" Peter's rambling is cut off by a small, but steady voice.

"Don't make her ask you again."

Alicia looks up to see Ruby at the doorway. She must've somehow made it past Peter's security team, probably by flashing her hospital badge.

"And who are you?" Peter asks mockingly.

"Ruby. I work here." The tone of her retort is laced with venom, as she advances slowly towards her husband. "If Alicia has to ask you to leave again, I'll just have security remove you. That's right, hospital security. Not that they're paid much, thanks to funding cuts from the Governor," she continues bitingly. "But they do have some serious muscle. Won't that be fun, my entourage against yours." Peter stands up at Ruby's taunts and faces off with her. From Alicia's perspective, it's almost comical - the big, tall Governor of Illinois in a stare-off with a 5-foot-nothing therapist. But it works. He walks away.

As the door shuts behind him, Ruby rolls her eyes. "Is he always such a prick?" She demands, her face contorting into a look of disgust and disbelief.

Alicia just stares over at this fiery young woman, and laughs for the first time in she can't remember how long.

Ruby sits at her desk, looking back to find Alicia in her doorway. She sighs, puts her pen down and waits for her to speak.

"So, I've been discharged."

"I know."

Alicia begins to stammer at the shortness of her response. "Just have to… take care better of myself, I guess."

"And you needed a medical professional to figure that one out?" Ruby deadpans. Alicia laughs humourlessly but doesn't say anything. She turns to leave, hesitating at the doorway.

"Did you need something?" Ruby asks dispassionately.

"I need… Ineedyourhelp," she mumbles.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ruby asks, raising her brows in faux confusion. It's childish of her, but she isn't about to make this easy on Alicia. She has to want this for herself.

"I need… your help," Alicia repeats more clearly, and with a sigh. Ruby's softens at this and gestures for her to sit down.

"Well, Holland who runs the clinic took me off your case. Officially, I'm no longer your therapist here," she announces, trying not to sound as annoyed as she feels.

"And… unofficially?" Alicia asks, lips almost twitching into a mischievous smile. Ruby doesn't bother to hide the grin that creeps up onto her face.

"My my, I never took you for a rebel," she muses, shaking her head. After a moment of consideration, she leans back in her chair and spreads her arms. "Unofficially? I am all yours, Mrs. Florrick."

Alicia lets out a shaky, relieved breath of air. She looks like she's searching for the right words. "I think you know that you can call me Alicia," is what she settles for.

"Oh I know, I just like teasing you. It's temporary, though, just until I've come up with a proper nickname for you. I'm cheeky like that. And since this is unofficial and all, you'll just have to pay me in snack foods rather than actual money." Alicia looks like she's about to object, but Ruby pipes in again before she can. "Think of it as pro bono work. Look you can't pay me, Alicia, not for this arrangement. And we can't do this the way I normally would as a therapist. Of course I'll help you, in fact in some ways this will be better without the formal restrictions. But I do have one rule. No drugs."

"No drugs?" Alicia echoes.

"No drugs. Unless you're already on prescribed medication for something else that you need?" Alicia shakes her head. "If you really want to do this, you're not going to start on antidepressants. You'll go on those over my cold, dead body." Ruby makes it clear with her tone that she isn't joking, not one bit. So the lawyer seems to choose her response very carefully.

"Well… that should be fine I guess."

"You sure?" Ruby questions dubiously with a laugh. "When I say no drugs, I mean it. I'm not just talking about popping pills, here. Alcohol is a drug. Caffeine is a drug. You have to stay away from all of it." As Alicia begins to understand, her face slowly falls. "Of course no sleeping pills, or antidepressants. But that also means no coffee. No wine. And no chocolate, that's the one that really gets me."

"You're saying that you follow this too?" Alicia cries.

"Well… yes, mostly. I don't drink alcohol or coffee, but chocolate is my only vice. It's a sometimes food for me." Ruby can see the lines of Alicia's forehead deepening as she considers a world without wine. "I'm not saying you have to do this forever," she assures. "We'll see how you go for a few weeks to start. Basically you need to tip your lifestyle on its head for a bit - your body and mind both need to heal. Drastic times call for drastic measures, right?"

Alicia sighs and looks back up at Ruby, almost cringing. "No drugs?" She asks again.

"No drugs," Ruby confirms with a laugh. After a pause, she leans forward and locks eyes with Alicia. "Look, here's the thing. You have to trust me completely, and trust me blindly. This doesn't work otherwise. Can you do that?" Alicia gazes up at her, considering this with an almost pained look on her face. She's trying to hide it, but Ruby can see her desperation as plain as day.

"Yes," is all she replies with.

Ruby takes her hands that are clasped on the desk and squeezes them gently. "Then let's do this." The lawyer nods her head with a small smile, and the temptation to pry is already too great for Ruby to handle. "So… spoken to Will lately?"

In the blink of an eye, Alicia is sporting a stormy expression and retracting her hands likes she's been electrocuted. Ruby can't resist breathing out a small laugh at this reaction.

"Wow, okay. So that's where we'll start on Thursday."