Chapter 10
"What?"
"She disappeared about a month ago. Sometimes she goes away by herself for a couple of weeks but she has never been gone this long before."
"Have you tried searching for her?"
"Of course I have! I went everywhere I thought she would be, but I still can't find her. I tried to track her through her scent but her trail's gone. I came here to ask if maybe you could find her." But Kakashi was shaking his head before Itachi had finished his sentence.
"Don't you know what she smells like?"
"Like mint. And rain."
"You realize it's pouring outside and the forest is nearby, right? There's mint and rain practically everywhere now."
"I can't just stand here and wait!" There was a silence as Kakashi looked up at the stormy sky.
"Ask the wolves," he said quietly. "That's how my teacher found her."
"Come with me."
"I can't."
"I thought you cared for her."
"Goddamit! Don't you understand? Of course I cared for her! I still care for her! I'm a dog; I'm supposed to be loyal! If I gave responsibility to you, don't you think I have a good reason?" Itachi blew out a breath and pushed back his wet hair.
"You're right... I'm sorry." Kakashi sighed.
"Anyway, the wolves would tear me apart if they saw me again." He chuckled darkly. "They don't like it that a dog watches over their Mistress. You have a better chance then I do." He pointed to the forest on his right. "That's where they usually are." With a nod of thanks and farewell, Itachi started in the forest's direction. "Oh, and Uchiha?" Itachi turned to Kakashi. "This is the last time I'll be speaking to you. I told you to protect her. The next time you come to me, I'll kill you." With that, the silver-haired ninja shut the door to the darkness.
The minute that Kakashi had said 'wolves', Itachi had relaxed. He knew wolves. As soon as he stepped into the forest, he felt something watching him. Instead of moving on, he waited patiently. Within minutes, a silent ring of wolves surrounded him.
"Take me to the girl concealed in your woods." The wolves stirred in restless surprise when they realized they understood him. One of the wolves yipped.
[Prey should not talk to its predators.]
"I didn't ask for a life lesson." The pack growled, but parted for a single wolf. He stepped closer to Itachi.
"We art not thy average wolves, human." Itachi flinched when he heard the leader talk. Suddenly, the wolf in front of him turned to smoke. "No, we could kill thee." Itachi whirled around and caught the sight of the leader's tail before it dissolved in smoke. "Easily." Before he knew it, the leader tackled him to the ground and stood over him
"Kill me after you have taken me to the girl." The wolf studied him and dissipated into smoke.
"Brave," his voice echoed from somewhere. Itachi sat up. The pack was silent. "But do not call our Mistress a 'girl'. She is easily worth more than thy life."
"I know." After a pause, the wolf reappeared.
"So thou wit." Itachi nodded. "Interesting choice of words," the wolf said, slowly circling him.
"I need to find the girl. I worry for her."
"She is safe."
"Bodily, maybe. But her soul is overburdened." The pack rustled uneasily, clicking their jaws.
[How dost the human wit?]
"I can feel it." Yelps of surprise rose from the pack. With a bark, the leader silenced the crowd of wolves.
"Dost thou care for my Mistress?" Itachi did not answer. "Thine silence is answer enough."
"Some emotions cannot be translated into words."
"If our Mistress died, what would thee do?"
"Eat her," Itachi responded, calmly and immediately, "and then kill myself." The pack howled in approval as the leader laughed, his tongue hanging out.
"Very well, human, follow us if thee canst." Each wolf jumped up to a branch in a tree, the lowest being fifteen feet off the ground, and took off. Itachi jumped up and followed them.
Their speed was incredible. They jumped from branch to branch, all the while playfully nipping and barking at each other.
"It is interesting that thou canst keep up, human. Thither was only one other time a human kept up and it was because the gods and our Mistress hath destined it to be."
"I am an altered human." The wolf laughed openly.
"And I be an altered wolf. Listen carefully, human, for my story hath the answers I believe thou seek. A long time ago, I was not altered. But we found our Mistress crying in the woods and took the sadness that burdened her. And so, we gained these exceptional abilities to be able to protect her."
"You all… took the sadness from her?"
"No, not all of us. I did. I possessed qualities that made me able to take the sadness. I received the power and some of it trickled into the pack." Itachi remembered the image of the village ruins he had received when he had accidently grazed Yani's hand.
"How do you take the sadness from her" The leader cackled again.
"If thee want it bad enough, it shall come." They traveled in silence for a while, the only sound being the thunder and pattering rain. "It is strange that thee canst speak human words, but we can understand thou."
"I am strange," Itachi agreed.
"Look into my eyes, human." He looked to his left and saw that the wolf's eyes were a shockingly familiar color of ice blue. "Art these eyes not the eyes of my Mistress when she is sad?"
"Ice," Itachi murmured, "as sharp as pain, yes."
"But what art the color of her eyes when she cannot hold the burden?"
"Black. Deadened tar. Desperate as the eyes of soldiers long gone."
"Good. The pain she bequeathed to me was accidental. Now, her defenses have increased hundredfold. She will not give it to any man or beast, even if they possess the qualities. What little I took was not even enough to darken my eyes to the soulless black my Mistress carries. I regret I could not take more. It will be difficult if thee desire to take it from her, as I believe is thy intention."
"As you said before, I am desperate enough to take it." The leader dropped to the ground, along with Itachi. When he looked up, the pack had made a circle around him again. Sitting on his haunches, the leader gazed at Itachi and snickered.
"What song dost thou howl, young human, who loves my Mistress?" Wolves around him started to howl in parts of the song.
[Who canst understand and be understood?]
[Who wit his way through the contrary woods?]
[Who be naught wolf, but sings as we?]
[Oh tell us, human. We prithee.]
"Can you keep a secret from you mistress?"
"If it shall not harm her, yes."
"I howl to thee thine endless nights
And blackened walls and terrored flights
Of retribution and bloodlusts fed
I sing the song of thy living dead."
At the last word of his sentence, every single wolf bowed low to the ground to him, including the pack leader.
"Then there is not use holding anything back from you, Son of the Dark Lord," the leader said, after the pack had settled down. "My Mistress is dying, as I believe thee know. She hides, perched on the top of this pine." He gestured to a tree on his left with his muzzle and stood up. A wolf in the pack called out.
[She does not act like a true wolf should and instead, hides in trees. Remind her to howl her song to the sky.] The leader faced Itachi.
"Save her, if thee can!" With a final howl and unearthly laugh, the leader took off, the pack streaming behind him.
The closer Itachi came to the pine tree, the louder Yani's floating, lilting voice became.
"Tell me your secrets, my friends and foes
Impart me your darkness, sing me your woes"
He reached the bottom of the tree and looked up. In the darkness, Yani's voice continued.
"I don't want joy, let your light be
Give me your terrors, fling them at me"
Quietly, trying not to make a sound, he jumped on the nearest branch, holding his breath when it creaked. The voice went on, unperturbed.
"I'll take your sadness, your terrible news
Your specters, your stories, your shadowy hues"
His fingers tightened on the next branch as he pulled himself up.
"Place them in coffins, bury them deep
Stay by your side in the dark while you sleep"
The storm seemed to have intensified. It howled around the tree, trying to snatch Itachi into its clutches as he climbed upward.
"I'm different from you, unaffected by such
Worldly matters like sadness or trust"
When he reached the top, he saw Yani's sitting on a branch, facing the rest of the forest.
"So don't be afraid of the darkness you feed
I'll be there with you whenever you need"
Suddenly, Itachi felt much happier, unnaturally so. A black mist was starting to rise around the town and race towards Yani.
"Yani?" he called out. When she turned around, what he saw almost broke his heart. She was trembling violently and she was pale. Under her eyes were dark circles. But her eyes were what tore into him the most. They were so dark that her pupils were indistinguishable from her irises.
"This isn't the place for you, human," she said quietly.
"This isn't the place for you either, Yani." She smiled, her eyes un-focusing.
"I make people happy here."
"You don't make me happy." And it was true; the unnatural happiness was gone, replaced by sadness and another emotion he did not want to acknowledge.
"Well, the betterment of the majority is more important."
"When was the last time you ate or drank? The last time you slept?" She giggled eerily.
"I eat despair and drink from the biter chalice of woes." She giggled again. "As for sleeping, I have others' nightmares. What do I need sleep for?"
"You're killing yourself, Yani," Itachi said softly. She quieted and her face became cold.
"And?" Itachi thought to what the wolf had said.
"If thee want it bad enough, it shall come."
Do I really want it bad enough? he thought, thinking of the ruins he had seen from the one memory he had received from Yani. But when he looked at Yani's shaking body and exhausted eyes, his resolution solidified. Yes, he thought, yes I do.
With absolutely no hesitation, he gently slid his hand into Yani's.
"Give it to me." At his words, a thick, black rope tied his wrist and Yani's wrist together. Immediately after, Itachi was hit with image after gory image of death. He didn't resist but instead, invited more and more of the memories to rush into him. Hundreds of villages rushed by, the smell of burnt flesh in the air. Thousands of children died before his eyes, all begging to be saved. Millions of people were killed, without his being about to do anything.
Suddenly, he felt a wall slam into his vision and he felt Yani start to struggle. He just held on to her hand harder and brushed away the wall impatiently. More detailed pictures started to flood into his mind. Children with their entrails pulled out slowly. Women being raped and having their body parts cut off. But just as he saw a slight, black haired girl with ice blue eyes being raped, he felt Yani bite through the rope and the image evaporated before he could receive the memory.
Yani's hand collided with his cheek so hard, that he almost lost his balance and fell off the branch. Then, almost instantly, it was back on his cheek, cradling, making sure he didn't succumb to his dizziness and nausea.
"What. The. HELL. Do you think you're doing?"
"Saving you," Itachi murmured, putting a hand to his forehead. The images were still spinning around in his head.
"Give it back."
"No."
Give it back. This time, her voice was laced with overwhelming power. When Itachi felt the images start to drain out of his head, he grit his teeth and flicked Yani on the forehead, hard.
"Ow!"
"I am not giving this back. I came with the full intention of taking it. When I saw the condition you were in, it only made me more resolute." Yani rubbed her head; her scowling eyes were light blue.
Bite me. She offered her wrist, using the voice again, except stronger. Itachi moved towards her but then withdrew, clenching his teeth.
"No."
"Can you just—" And at that moment, sobs racked through Yani's body. "P-please. Let me h-help you," she said, clutching to the front of Itachi's jacket, black pearls dropping to the forest floor below. "This is the only-ly way I know-w how."
Slowly, without saying anything, Itachi started to stroke her hair, running his fingers through the silky strands. She began to calm down, her breathing becoming more even.
"If you want to help," he murmured, "just be safe. Please. That's all that matters."
"W-why does e-e-everyone want-t me to be-e s-safe? Can't t-they see I'm t-trying to protect t-them?"
"Sadness makes people stronger, Yani."
"Sadness t-throws people off track-ck. Like S-sasuke." Itachi was shocked silent.
"That's why you do this to such an extreme degree, right? Because of Sasuke?" Yani nodded, still crying into Itachi's shirt. He wanted to hold her so much right now, but he was afraid of what might happen. What he might feel.
"My stupid, beautiful, fragile songbird," his voice cracked slightly with an emotion he couldn't control for the first time, "Sasuke's like that because of hate, not because of sadness." Yani gradually ceased to sob. "So please sing again. The blue sky misses your voice." She hiccupped, the tears still dripping off her face, but much less now.
"H-hush, my darling, sleep-p serenely-y.
Now, my l-lovely, slumber de-e-ep
I will rock-k you, humming lowly-y
Close your e-eyes, now go to sleep
Angels h-hover, ever-r nearer
W-wolves draw in to k-keep you s-safe
I will hold y-you, close enfold-d you
Close your eyes, now go to sleep."
And exhausted by the energy she had spent, she fell asleep in Itachi's arms.
When she woke up, she was in her room.
"Itachi?" She felt the bed next to her. Although he wasn't there, the sheets were warm and his scent lingered in the room. Her hand brushed a piece of paper, the writing on it Itachi's.
"My little songbird." She carefully brushed her fingers over the wet ink. "I'm sorry I let you wake up alone, but I had to go back to the base. I want you to rest today and don't go outside. I'll be back at night to check on you. My jacket is at the foot of your bed, because feathers aren't going to be enough on a day like this. Keep warm, little one, it's snowing outside." She had never felt this happy before.
"He slept the night through with me," she murmured. "He kept away the nightmares." Reaching out, she drew the jacket towards her and used it as a blanket, inhaling the scent of snow and burnt coffee. "I wonder why he smells like that. I'll have to ask him." For the first time, her bed was comfortable as she dozed to make up for the loss of energy yesterday.
Suddenly, she heard ice breaking in her head.
Yani I need you! As soon as she felt the pull of her own energy, she teleported to Sasuke.
"Sasuke? Are you okay?" A hand clapped over her mouth while the other one snaked around her waist. "Suske,vauryoudong?"
"Claiming my property." He kissed her forcefully, covering her mouth again when he stopped.
"Ske! Stp!"
"I don't think I will." He threw her onto his bed, commanding snakes to bind her wrists to the headboard. The familiar taste of fear filled her mouth. She was going to tear the snakes in half when she realized she couldn't move any part of her body.
Please! Not again! Sasuke got closer. Oh, please! Not again! My gods! Please save me! My Dark Lord, please save me! Please! Her stomach quivered as Sasuke licked down her abdomen. Stop him! Don't do this to me! Don't let me suffer again!
SILENCE! The voice in her head wiped out her thoughts. IT IS FATE! BEAR WITH IT!
When she felt her underwear being pulled off, the gods allowed silent tears to slide down her face.
I hope Yani listened to me, Itachi thought. It's really cold today. The newly fallen snow crunched under his feet as he made his way closer to Yani's house by moonlight. I wonder if she had anything to eat? In the meadow, everything was white, except for a black splotch in the middle of the field. I don't remember a rock being there. He stopped abruptly, sniffing. Sasuke? And Yani? Shampoo and water. The length of his steps increased.
It was Yani, her freshly washed hair freezing on the ground, her lips blue, her eyes glazed.
In one bounding leap, Itachi was beside her, scooping her up, bringing her back into her house.
"Get… him… off…" she said almost inaudibly once they were inside.
"Yani, you're safe. He's not here."
"Tear… my skin off… please." He voice was still hard to hear. "I don't want… to live… anymore."
"Don't say things like that, Yani."
"Kill… me… please."
"Let's get you into something warm, okay? You already took a shower, Yani, so he's not on you anymore."
"His… scent…" She started to gasp. "I can't… get… it off…"
"I know, Yani. Let's get you warmed up first."
"Tried to… wash everything off… Everything but… his… smell… is off." He took his jacket and wrapped it tightly around her.
"It's me, Yani. It's Itachi. I smell different, remember?"
"Burnt… coffee… snow…"
"That's right, Yani."
"He… smells… like… fire…"
"Focus on me, Yani." He took off his equipment and stripped out of his shirt and pants until he was in his boxers. "Yani, I'm going to hug you, okay? You're not warming up fast enough." She laughed weakly, he lips still blue and her eyes still glazed over.
"Yeah… right… hug… rape me… too… Don't care…"
"I'm not going to rape you Yani." He took her out of his jacket and pulled her to him on the bed so that she was flush against him.
She was cold, colder than he thought she would be, and she wasn't even shivering.
"Why did you lay down outside, Yani? You should have gone inside and waited for me." She didn't answer. "I would have come, Yani. I'll always come for you." She made a motion of pushing him away. "Not yet, Yani, your hair is still frozen."
"Why… like coffee… your… scent…"
"When I was little, I always wanted to grow up faster. I thought coffee was a sign of maturity, so I always drank that. Up to this day, I always drink coffee morning, noon, and night."
"And… snow…"
"I'm not sure. That might just be my natural scent. Nobody has told me that before." He smiled. "You smell like mint and rain. Why is that?"
"Natural…Always… like… that… Tired…"
"You can't go to sleep, Yani, not until your color is back."
"Want… to… die… so… doesn't matter…"
"No." His voice was firm. "That's an order, Yani. Stay awake." Quickly, he reached over her body and grabbed his bag, fishing out a thermos. Then, he poured a cup of coffee, still hot, and gently raised it to Yani's lips. "Coffee, Yani. It's good. I promise." She took a sip.
"Sweet…" He smiled again.
"I take it sweet." She drank more, her cheeks losing their paleness and her lips turning back to pink. "Good. You look warmer now."
"It's not a big… deal."
"It is to me, Yani." He softly pushed back a lock of her now unfrozen hair. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" She shook her head, burying her face into the hollow of his throat.
"How are you so warm?" He cocked his head.
"Umm… well… the body does something called homeostasis in which it keeps the temperature balanced and—"
"I meant here," she touched the left side of his chest, "in your heart."
"I'm afraid I don't follow."
"You took most of my burden just yesterday. How is it that you aren't cold in spirit?"
"It's… no big deal." The silence was interrupted by the softest sound of a pearl dropping on the bed.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For every—for crying again."
"Feh. What a silly thing to apologize for." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, untangling it as he went along. "It seems like people have told you not to cry." He touched the end of her hair with his fingertips. "Come to think of it, when Hidan told you not to cry a long time ago, you stopped immediately." He propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at her, smoothing her hair. She looked up at him with one eye, still held against his chest. "Go ahead and cry, my little songbird. Crying is singing, too."
As soon as she started to sob, a blizzard struck and shook the entire house.
"See? Look what you were holding back." The windows were white as the force of the blizzard made the windowpanes rattle. Itachi settled back onto the bed, just holding Yani while her body was shaking. "It seems like this blizzard will stay awhile." She pressed closer to him, her crying quieting. "Good thing I told the base I was staying over with you today."
"Itachi?"
"Yeah?"
"Kill me."
"No."
"I'll do it myself later if you don't help me now."
"It seems like you warmed up enough," Itachi said, ignoring her last comment and putting a hand to her forehead. He stood up, covering her back up with his jacket. Slipping on his pants and shirt, he sighed when he saw Yani sitting up.
"Can I paint your nails for you?" She started to laugh when she sensed Itachi's face.
"But… you're… blind." Her teeth flashed in a grin.
"I never said it would be pretty." He blew out a breath, pushing back his bangs.
"Fine. Do you have black nail polish?"
"It's in that cabinet."
"Why do you paint your nails anyway?" she asked, after she had painted his nails.
"It's required if you're on the Akatsuki." He examined his fingernails closely. "And, I was something close to a perfect child when I was little. I guess my rebellious age is coming in now. Hey, you didn't do that bad."
"Heh! You are funny." She looked up at him. "I want to know what you were like when you were little." Automatically, the emotion in Itachi's eyes disappeared and his smiled melted away. He stood abruptly and turned off the lights.
"Go to sleep. It's late." He would have left the room if he didn't see Yani's eyes grow darker. "It's… not… a story I can tell you."
"…Okay," she responded, but quietly. Pulling the jacket over her head, she turned around so her back was facing him.
"…Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Did you ever have siblings? Or anyone that told you bedtime stories?" There was a silence.
"I was raised by wolves, Itachi. My… I guess 'brother' character, didn't think it would be safe for me where I was… born. And as you said, you know wolves. They don't tell stories."
"They sing."
"Yeah." Itachi studied Yani's back for a little while and eventually moved over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a beautiful princess and her faithful wolf…" He spun her a wonderful story, filled with everything he could remember being told in his bedtime stories and added his own twists. But just before he reached the middle portion of the story, he stopped.
"And then what happened?" Her eyes were wide, waiting for the next part when he stopped talking.
"I'll tell you the rest tomorrow night. And every time I see you after that, I'll tell you a story." He gently touched her fingertips. "If you're going to kill yourself, you'll never know the rest of the story."
"That's oddly mean of you."
"It's mean of you to say you're going to kill yourself in front of me," he retorted softly.
She hugged her pillow.
"So I'm going to assume you've never felt like killing yourself." Once again, she turned her back on him. He didn't reply, covering her with the jacket instead. When he heard her breathing settle into deep breaths, he leaned closer to her and touched her face.
"I think of it everyday," he murmured, "every single day."