Chapter 11:

(you may need some tissues for this one…for all of you Jeddie fans, hold tight…it's coming…)

After Janet had returned to Hope, she recalled her last few days in the Ridge. Hannah had successfully escaped from marrying the wrong man as it turns out and seemed to be ok with her decision. Big Cat was not so OK with the decision but did what Big Cat always does and that is make a jack ass out of himself.

Deep down Janet knew Hannah had made the right decision but she needed to get there on her own. Janet was happy for Hannah in the end and Hannah seemed to be getting there too, now she was just dealing with her very angry mother.

Dwayne had been great while they were in the Ridge and seemed to enjoy himself a lot . She was so happy at this point in her life that she didn't think anything could make her feel any different. Unfortunately for Janet that feeling was about to change.

Dwayne decided that he couldn't keep his secret from Janet any longer. They had such an amazing time in Knight's Ridge that he just felt like he was betraying her keeping this secret from her but he knew she would be devastated. This was a conversation he had spent his whole life trying to avoid but when he decided to pursue the relationship with Janet he knew that this would have to happen.

A week after they returned from the Ridge Dwayne and Janet had a nice dinner at home and were sitting in the all to familiar all season's porch, snuggling into each other as they often did. Dwayne looked at Janet and she immediately knew something was wrong.

Dwayne began, "Janet there is something that I need to tell you. I know that you are going to be upset with me and I don't blame you but I just can't keep it from you any longer."

Janet's eyes filled with tears, "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No! No! Janet if I could you your forever I would without hesitation but all I can give you is mine." Dwayne's eyes began to fill with tears, this was much harder than he ever thought possible.

Janet looked at him and knew instantly that something was very wrong. "I don't understand Dwayne what does that mean, my forever…you are scaring me."

"Janet I have Lou Gehrig's disease. I have known about it for a long time and my body is beginning to show signs that I will be gone within months. I know that this is difficult to understand but do you remember when I said that I don't normally get to know anyone or why you have never seen me with anyone? That is because I never wanted to hurt anyone with my illness. Janet you are so special to me…I know asking you out was so selfish but I just couldn't live the rest of my life without you being a part of it. I want you to know that I love you with every fiber of my being and I wish I could give you forever but that forever will be mine instead of yours."

Janet just sat there with tears running down her face. "Did he just say months…he will only be alive for the next few months?" Her mind was screaming.

Dwayne sat there waiting for her to slap him or storm off or whatever else she wanted to do because he knew he deserved every bit of it. He was surprised to say the least with her response.

Janet looked into his eyes, "I love you too Dwayne more than you can even imagine. No matter what happens, no matter how sick you become, I want you to know that I will be there by your side, handing your hand. My face will be the last one you see and you will know that even though your time on this earth was cut way to short that you are loved and that you will be missed more than you could possibly know." Janet placed her hand on his cheek and gently wiped the tears away from his face.

Dwayne had never expected this response. He felt so incredibly guilty but yet so amazing at the same time. How could he have gotten so lucky for this incredible woman to come into his life. There were times that he was so scared of what was happening to him. He covered everything so well, no one had ever suspected he was so sick but things were starting to deteriorate this much he knew. The doctors appointments were getting more frequent and he was starting to show signs of the damage to his nerves. His doctors had talked to him about the stages and the paralysis that was likely coming within the next few months. He knew once the paralysis occurred that the end would not be too far away and he couldn't risk Janet finding out any other way. He owed her that much, she deserved that much. She deserved a man to grow old with and have a full life with and that was just not something he could give her although he really wanted too.

As all these things were in his mind, all he felt was love coming from this beautiful woman now holding him against her chest. A place he had grown to love and feel so safe in. How could he possibly be able to say goodbye to her. He decided to cherish every moment they had together and make the most of their time, what little there was left of it.

As the days, weeks and months went by, Dwayne became weak so quickly. It was as if God was waiting for him to tell her his secret because shortly after that day he began to show signs of paralysis in first his right knee, than traveling to his foot and then onto the other leg. Over the course of merely 8 weeks, Dwayne found himself in the hospital barely able to control what was left of his body.

One day, Janet was sitting by his bed side as she had promised him all these weeks ago and he thought it was time to talk to her about her future and about Eddie. He had heard that The Edwardson's were getting better and it would just be a matter of time before they were ready to come home. The doctors were thinking maybe in 6 months time or sooner depending on their recent improvements, Janet would need to make some decisions and he knew that he would no longer be the reason she would stay in Hope because by that time he would be gone.

Dwayne squeezed Janet's hand and as always she came right up to him from the chair she was sitting in and gently kissed his lips. He loved her so much and loved it when she kissed him that way. It would be one of the many things he would miss about her. He began, "Janet can we talk for a bit?"

"Sure babe what do you want to talk about?" Janet said stroking his head and smiling her biggest smile.

Dwayne could not believe how strong she had been throughout all of this. Other than the day he told her, he never once saw her cry or get angry. She went to all of his doctors appointments with him and suggested that he move in with her. She didn't want to waste a single second that they had left together. He had agreed happily. It wouldn't have been how he really wanted it to be but he wanted the same for himself. His relationship with Janet brought him the biggest amount of happiness that he had ever felt in his life and although sometimes he became angry that God was taking it away, Janet would just reassure him and say that is why he brought us together Dwayne. No one he had ever met made him feel the way she had and he was the luckiest man to have found her, but he needed her to think of her future and open herself up to the possibilities of someone else, the one other man who loved her just as much as he did, the one that deserved another chance at making her happy – the one that could give her forever – Eddie.

Dwayne knew she would resist this conversation but he needed to have it while he was still able to since everyday it seemed he was losing more and more ground.

"I want to talk about you and what you are planning on doing when I am gone. I know, I know that you don't want to talk in terms like that but I need to know that you are going to be ok. I need to know that you are going to go back to the Ridge and face the one thing you have been avoiding all this time. I need to know that – in fact I need you to promise me that you will open yourself up again to possibility of love. I need to know that you will be taken care of and some day be a momma and live your life not in my memory but for you…I need for you to promise me that you will do that Janet, will you do that for me Janet?" Dwayne had tears in his eyes and could see the tears falling down Janet's face.

Dwayne went on, "Janet I know that you are not going to understand this right now or maybe you just aren't going to want to hear it but there is a man in the Ridge who is in love with you…just as I know somewhere in that heart of yours you still love him…he was the first man to love you Janet truly and completely and I know that you both made mistakes but don't dwell on the past Janet…give him the chance to make it right with you…give him the chance to love you just as you gave me. I need you to promise me that you will give him the chance because I know that he feels the same about you as I do but he can give you your forever…"

Janet was beyond words listening to him talk about Eddie. He was right she never dealt with her relationship with Eddie. She never asked about him or talked to him since their break up over a year ago. It seemed inconceivable now to even entertain that thought be how could she not give Dwayne what he wanted. But how could she promise something that she didn't even know was a possibility for her. She was certain Eddie had moved on, it wouldn't be like he was waiting for her, that was certainly something Eddie would never do. But she could never say no to Dwayne so she did as he asked.

"I promise you that when I return to the Ridge I will talk with Eddie and resolve our relationship to whatever natural conclusion it comes too. It has been a long time Dwayne and I am sure Eddie has certainly moved on with his life but you are right. I need to have that talk with him that I have been avoiding over this past year. I can not promise you that I will fall in love again with another man Dwayne but I won't close my heart to the possibility, OK?" She ran her hand over his cheek and kissed him so gently on the lips he barely felt it. "I love you Dwayne so much."

Days later Dwayne was gone. Janet was at his bedside, holding his hand, looking him in the eyes telling him just how much she loved him and would miss him just as she promised not three months earlier. Janet's face was the last thing that Dwayne saw before he closed his eyes and left the earth for heaven. Janet sat there holding his hand, crying softly until the doctors told her it was time to let him go.

Janet found herself at home however she can't remember how she got there. She felt so lost she didn't know what to do. She knew that she couldn't be alone so she called the one person who she knew would be there…

"Janet hey what goes on?" Hannah answered seeing Janet's name on the display

Silence was all she heard followed by some muffled cries, "Janet are you ok honey what is going on?"

"Hannah, I need you can you come here, can you come to Hope?" Janet could barely be heard.

"I am on my way, sweetie just give me the address?"

With that Janet gave the address of The Edwardson's home and Hannah hung up the phone and made one more phone call before getting in her car to go.

"Nick? Hi It's Hannah"

"What goes on Hannah?" Nick somewhat puzzled asks

"I need a favor I have to go out of town, Janet's in trouble and I need someone to look after Sam, do you think you could do that for me, please?" Hannah said in a hurried voice.

"Sure Hannah of course what is wrong with Janet?"

"I don't know exactly, she just called and is upset, crying I don't know I have never heard her that way…I just know that she needs me and I need to go."

"Let me know if there is anything I can do Ok, I'll be by later to pick up Sam just go to Janet, do whatcha gotta do."

"Thanks Nick."

With that Hannah was gone.

Nick thought a bit and tried to decide if he should tell Eddie. Seeing Janet with Dwayne certainly had a negative affect on Eddie. It was as if someone had taken his will to live when he left Sully's that night.

Eddie tried to move on with his life after that night but he found he just couldn't get her out of his mind. He had gone on a few dates but they went no where because he just found himself comparing everyone to Janet. He would get angry because it seemed so easy for her to move on but then after meeting Dwayne he knew why. How could he be angry with her? Eddie knew he had been a fool to treat Janet the way he had. He had insecurities too he had never really had a relationship like this before…not even with Rory – that was teenage lust basically and what he had been doing before Janet well that was just "dating" no he was no more experienced than Janet but he could never let her see that…now he wished he had…so many mistakes, so many regrets. He knew he would never have another chance with Janet that was clear but what was he suppose to do now that no one else seemed to make him happy either. Eddie resigned himself to a life without love and poured himself into work.

Nick decided to wait a bit first and see what the problem was. Janet was upset that is what Hannah said so maybe something happened with her grandparents or maybe her and this guy broke up or something. Until he knew more, Nick would keep it in the vault.