A Supremely Bright Idea
By Sinead
Chapter Ten
.o.
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin' my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
"Who the hell chose that song to be on my playlist, Jarvis?!" Tony rolled out from under his car, a glare on his face for the computer screen. But he couldn't stop it from playing. His frustration compounded upon heartbreak and he ended up in a chair, choking sobs debilitating him. He hated that the song repeated itself, that he couldn't get his emotions under control.
The door opened, the music for once not lowering. And soft, female hands, ones that he knew had replaced the ARC reactor, rested on the back of his neck, rubbing softly along his back and shoulders. He stilled them with one of his own hands, deep breaths shaking his torso and shuddering through his frame. "Pepper . . ."
"Yeah?"
"If I hadn't known that my life would fall apart if you were gone from it, I would have fired you for putting that song on."
Laughing softly, she handed him a wad of tissues, and the song faded out. "You know, I'm glad that I don't have to worry about you firing me."
Tony blew his nose, sighing. "So who ratted me out?"
"Jarvis, and last night Rhodey said that you were putting a front on. He sees right through you, Stark."
He nodded, rubbing at his face. "Yeah." Looking up at the ceiling, he drew in a deep breath. "Have you spoken with Becka recently?"
"Last night. She's afraid to call you."
"Hah! Me? Why's she afraid?"
"Because you'll beg her to come back."
That shut Tony's sudden nonchalance up. He blinked once, then swallowed and looked away from the ceiling, focusing anywhere but on Pepper, rocking a little in the desk chair he had settled in.
"And it looks like you wouldn't fall far from her prediction," Pepper said with a very tender tone, smiling and sitting on the desk itself. It was the one surface that Tony kept clear at all times. "Level with me, Tony."
"You're here late."
"Happy has a guys' night out, and told me that I should take care of you. Now talk with me."
Tony rubbed at his face and then sighed. He drew in a deep breath. "I wouldn't be able to keep from crying and begging her to come back. I feel like I'm constantly without the reactor in my chest because she's not here."
"Jarvis says that you have been having night terrors."
Cursing fluently, the man nodded, hiding his face in his hands. He hadn't wanted anyone to know, but Pepper would never tell another soul about him. "Yeah."
"Can I help in any way?"
He didn't preamble, listing them off in a deadpan tone, disconnecting from all emotions. "Yinsen's death; Yinsen living only to get lost in the desert and die; the terrorists raping Becka; the terrorists forcing me to rape Becka; Becka getting lost in the desert; Becka bleeding out because of Stane's drugs; Becka dying in the hospital because of a uterine rupture. The list goes on, Pepper."
"You fear for her."
"God, yes."
Pepper thought about that for a moment before asking, "Do you fear that she doesn't want you in her life?"
The angry tears that sprang to Tony's eyes confirmed that.
"Do you want to know what she's been telling me?"
"What, that she doesn't care anymore? That some ex of hers suddenly decided to pay her the attention that she really deserves, and that she's falling for his façade? That she's over me?"
"Do you want to hear me or not, Tony?" Pepper said firmly, cowing him into nodding and getting a grip on himself. She nodded once, slowly. "She misses you more than anyone else in her life other than her mother. She misses you so much, and I hear it in what she doesn't say to me." Pausing for breath, Pepper asked, "She almost asked me something last night, but didn't get to it."
He shook his head to answer the unasked question. Becka could have wanted to know about anything. Biting his lip, he asked, "Could . . . could you give me some privacy for a while?"
"Sure. I'll be upstairs. Dinner's ready for you. I ate with Happy before he went out."
Nodding, he watched her walk to the door, then called out, "Pepper?"
"Yes?"
He smiled as brightly as he could, but the sadness around his eyes couldn't be erased. "I'm very happy for you and Hogan."
And the only thing that crossed Tony's mind when his PA had murmured a soft "thank you" was Dear Lord, Pepper blushes?!
.o.
A nightmare had awoken Becka sometime around midnight, so she stayed up for a while, reading the book of Revelation in an hour and a half. Most people would have questioned her sanity after such a disturbing scene that had played out in her subconscious, but somehow, the imagery of the last book in the Bible calmed her. Weirdest thing ever, but it worked. It was almost one of those things where one realized that while things were bad in her mind or in the world right now, they weren't that bad.
She finished reading, closed her small, worn Bible, and set it beside her bed again, rubbing at tired eyes. She roughly had one nightmare every three nights, and it was starting to wear down on her. Half of it was due to the distinct possibility that she was dealing with not one, but two cases of post-traumatic stress, and the other half was that she wasn't around the one who could protect her from the nightmares.
Maybe it was all just catching up with her.
Her phone buzzed. It was one of the video models that Tony loved and had hacked with glee. Flipping it open, she got the visual of Tony's face, red eyes, and half-distraught look. "Oh, hun, you've been crying."
Of course, that set him off again.
Five minutes later, Becka herself shedding a few tears, Tony was calm enough to talk. "I miss you. I miss you so much."
Her heart constricted within her chest, and she nodded wordlessly, agreeing with him. Drawing herself together, she asked, "How are you?"
"Truth or half-truth?"
"Truth."
"I feel like I've been mauled by Iron Monger without my armor around me." He sighed, then blew his nose. "I have night terrors. Do you get those?"
"Not every night, but often enough. Three times a week, sometimes, usually twice." Becka shrugged, taking the opportunity to look at his face, seeing every line, every worry, the stubble that had grown. "They're about you, about the hospital . . . did I ever tell you that I hate hospitals, and hate even visiting someone in them unless it's the maternity ward or a family member is dying?"
Tony's face cracked into a small smile. "No. Is that why you hated being alone in there?"
"Yeah."
"I'm glad that I didn't leave much."
"Me too."
"I wish that you were here."
Biting her lip, she whispered, "Please don't beg me to come back."
"I won't. I promise. But . . . I just have to put it out there, you know? I wish that you were here."
Rubbing at her face, she didn't want to give him an easy way out. The man was made of money, and could do anything. She needed to be at home, and the rich California kid could figure out on his own that he could come here if he so desired. "I can't come back yet, Tony. California's beautiful, but it's no Massachusetts coastline."
"I know. And I'm not your mother. I totally get that."
Biting her lips, trying not to laugh, she failed miserably, giggling softly. The mood cracked, Tony chuckled, pulling the screen to his face and kissing it once, then wincing and wiping it off. "Wow, I'm not doing that again. Slobber on the camera isn't good. Can you see me?"
"Yes, and you should shave."
"You don't mind me scruffy. You like me scruffy."
"I like your goatee. Mountain-Man doesn't appeal to my aesthetic tastes."
"Did you find the ring?" Tony was masterful at changing conversation topics without warning.
Biting her lip, she nodded, pulling the necklace up from her bedside table and holding it where he could see it. It was one of his class rings, one that he wore often while in public. Tony smiled and whispered, "You left yours with me . . . so I wanted you to hold onto something that means a lot to me, too."
"This is your MIT ring, though," she replied softly. "You said that you really didn't like MIT."
"No, but it was through their training that I was able to create the ARC reactor."
The pieces clicked, and she clutched the ring in her hand. This ring meant the beginning of who Tony Stark was. Her ring was the same for her. He trained in the realm of intellectual studies, she trained in studies of the heart and soul. "Oh."
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too. We both need sleep."
"I hear you. Did you want me to sing you to sleep?"
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she nodded, the light from the streetlamps outside streaming into the window as she turned her light off. Settling back in bed, she propped the phone up so that if she fell asleep before Tony signed off, it wouldn't fall over. His light baritone started singing, wrapping her up in a cocoon of familiarity.
Tony watched as she drifted off after three minutes, showing how tired she really had been. Smiling, he cut the connection, sitting back and looking at his computer screen. With a sigh, he stood, walking to his bed. He had an early start tomorrow.
.o.
Meara Fahey, a sensible Irishwoman who had raised three children on her own, didn't expect that while taking the trash out, she would see a man in an expensive suit pacing back and forth in front of her house, pausing to say something to his chauffeur, who would either nod or shake his head, causing the first man to pause, take that in, then continue pacing. Finally, she caught a look of his face, then smiled, putting the trash down and addressing him.
Fifteen minutes later, Meara called her daughter, waking her up. "I have my hands full with laundry! Could you get the door?"
"Mm-hm," came Rebeckah's sleepy reply. She put jeans on, walking to the door sleepily, shoving on a sweatshirt over the raggedy shirt she wore to sleep in. She yawned, rubbing at her eyes. She opened the door, blinking at the flowers in her face. They were roses, red, white and pink, with baby's breath surrounding the stems. She wavered on her feet before focusing on the man who was holding the flowers to her. "Tony!"
"Brought you your morning tea."
Blushing, she accepted the flowers, letting him in and seeing Happy and Pepper behind him. And her mind woke up one bit further. "MOM! You set me up!" Hearing her mother's laugh, she smiled and shoved Tony further into the kitchen. "Well, come on in, you two. Unless you have plans?"
"No."
Meara walked out of the laundry room with breakfast, which Tony had gotten from a breakfast place not too far from her house. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Do you mind that I came over unannounced?"
"Are you going to waste money by flying back and forth all the time?"
"Nope. I'm doing one week in California, one in New York City for a while, but might up my time here and lessen it there. Either way, it's half business, half the pleasure of spending time with you."
"How long is that while?"
Tony pulled the chair out for the young woman, glad that he had spoken with her mother earlier. His smile was bright, and Pepper noticed that the pain and strain that had been evident over the past week and a half was gone from his face. When Rebeckah sat down, he whispered, "Until we're able to decide what direction we want to go in for the future."
"Tony?"
"Mmhm?"
"Don't use me as an excuse to waste jet fuel."
.o.
Author's Note: Song at the beginning is "Gotta Be Somebody" by Nickelback, it kinda turns out like it's the theme song of the story, but at the same time . . . isn't. It's weird. I enjoy it. Great song. YouTube it. XD