Vacation's over.
Simple pack his bags, and open the gate.
But it doesn't feel final until he reaches… home. Seireitei.
Now it's simply an empty word with the absence of her, felt in greater magnitude than before.
He doesn't stop to say goodbye, and hopes a note will suffice.
For good measure, he makes an ice dragon that might convey his gratitude for their hospitality.
… the shihakushou feels too big on his flesh; the material feels alien; traced footsteps are completely forgotten.
Quiet silence, once so welcome in his presence, is now an odd concept, strangely unnerving to the tenth taichou.
Modern clothes, the warmth of her hand, reminiscent of—the very memory of her… those things fit.
Hitsugaya Toushirou wonders if the sun could ever replace Kurosaki Karin's brilliance, seeping into his skin.
Days pass by, and all he's doing is lying on his bed, listening to the non-existent breathing.
Has no desire to get up.
And yet he does.
The sun always rises, paper work fills his desk, Matsumoto acts like a slob and a sloth, and yet nothing gets a reaction. All he's doing is submerging himself in questions that lead to more questions, never with an answer. Slowly but surely, he's detaching himself to this life of isolation.
Everything fits in like clockwork: there's no more unpredictability.
No more life.
… she's there.
In the corner of his mind, imprinted on his eyelids – the first thing he sees, the last thing he remembers.
Dancing, skipping, sauntering… Karin's there, leaning on the wall.
Smile on her face, radiance twinkling in her eyes.
Laughter never too far behind a snarky remark.
Unconsciously, he begins to evade a flicker of orange that stands apart from the crowd.
A midget of raven, too. But that's even less intentional.
… he doesn't linger long enough so that Kurosaki can cut in, can say a single word.
If he does, then it is coldly ignored.
Certainly, the tenth taichou is erasing the bonds that connect Kurosaki Karin to him.
Filtering the time to think: analysing the situation, Toushirou wonders where he went wrong.
Wake.
Wash.
Eat.
Work.
Work.
Eat.
Work.
Eat.
Work.
Sleep.
It's a mechanical pattern that no longer makes sense.
Prod.
Poke.
… he's awake. He's awake.
And very, very grouchy.
"What?" Pushing up from… his desk? Toushirou lifts his head up, stiff neck cricking.
Wants coffee badly.
Wants other things to, but knows he won't get them.
"Someone is in a bad mood for falling asleep." Matsumoto Rangiku teases, probably debating whether she should poke him again just for fun. In any case, actual debate happening or not, she does so anyway; ruffling his hair. "At least you're not insomniac any more. You're not fun that way. And you're not fun this way either. Come to think about it, you aren't much fun any how…"
"Oh be quiet." His head is really killing him.
"What? Did you drink alcohol, chibi-taichou?" Leaning in, she scrutinizes him, eyes scanning his face.
"Shut up." He can't remember what happened the night before. Yet his anger just feels misplaced. Like the comment about his size.
"Taichou…" Matsumoto Rangiku flops onto his desk, paperwork scattering everywhere. He'll pick them up later, probably.
A solemn silence. These days, he's too lethargic to think, too tired to think; had a enough of fighting when it serves no purpose.
"You miss her."
He sighs. Rakes his hand through his hair. Feebly attempts to get her off his desk.
"Go back to sleep."
But he doesn't deny it.
In truth, Hitsugaya Toushirou used to be happy here.
Nothing's changed, except it has.
He finds it one day. A little scrap of happiness, gift wrapped in love.
It falls to the floor from a breath of wind, the soft noise attracting his attention, crinkling from impact.
Limbs seem sluggish as he picks it up, his unopened present.
Wonders if he should.
It's breathes Karin over and over again like his heartbeat that won't go away.
When he does, he knows it's time to stop being like this.
"Kurosaki." He spots the orange head so easily, accompanied by Kurosaki Rukia. "I want to talk to you."
"It's about time, Toushirou." His mouth is a sloppy mixture of a frown and a smile, but it works for him. Somehow. "I was beginning to think that you were avoiding me."
Best not to comment on that.
"How are Karin and Yuzu?" Kurosaki asks him, curiosity and concern visible all over his face.
His throat feels thick. "Good. Happy. Healthy." Beautiful.
It's the truth. They were all four, and so much more.
"Beautiful, eh?" A rather evil grin slides onto his face. "Did something happen in Tokyo?"
Cheeks flare up. Heat fizzling audibly.
"It's none of your business."
Kurosaki now looks downright amused. "Oh, I think it is. As big brother, I definitely think it is." His tone, although calm and pleasant, for the moment at least, now contains a slight menacing edge. "Anything that happens to my sisters is definitely my business."
"You're being ridiculous." Here's to hoping a flat look and a deadpan voice will dissuade the blood splatter.
Then again: this is Kurosaki Ichigo.
"Am I?" To dissuade the eldest, he must be incapacitated.
"Yes." However, that's no reason to not stand his ground. "Absolutely ridiculous."
… his wife has mysteriously vanished by this point.
This is not good.
"How's Ryvius café?" The orange-haired boy bares his teeth with a pleasant change of topic. "That weird kid still there?"
"It's fine. And if you're talking about Kazuya… then yes."
"Huh." For an unfathomable reason, Kurosaki is smirking. "You don't sound too happy about that."
"Not many people would, if you heard about a link between shinigami and vampires." It's a valid reason. Maybe not bitterness, but still.
"I don't know…" The orange-haired man shakes his head, thoughtfully. "Still seems like jealousy is talking."
Hitsugaya Toushirou is no fool: he is not going to comment.
"Karin, huh."
Damn Kurosaki for being more perceptive than given credit for.
The gift is cold against his skin, held in one hand, hidden from view.
"It's written all over your face, kid."
Okay, to be called 'Toushirou' had become slightly tolerable through the years. To be called 'kid', had not.
"That's Hitsugaya-taichou."
"Che. Whatever." He snicker, a roll of eyes, a scowl, Kurosaki Ichigo really hasn't changed.
"You should visit her." The words finally come, her last wish fulfilled. "Karin. Yuzu."
A pause.
"They miss you." His tongue feels like lead. And cotton. Heavy and dry at the same time.
He misses her already.
"Go visit them. It's… Christmas." Karin had taught him its importance. "Spend it with your family, for her."
The expression on Kurosaki's face is… arbitrarily hilarious.
"Wow. She's… you've… you're not a stick in the mud any more."
His words, however, are not.
"You've really fallen for her."
He doesn't need to deny those words.
It's feels like that truth is ingrained in his very marrow.
There's only one thing left.
"Kurosaki."
"Yeah?" It's a lazy and amused kind of voice that almost foretells merciless teasing. It's just a feeling Toushirou has.
"Before you go… how do you use this?"
Discomfited, he shows him Karin's gift.
Kurosaki Ichigo's lips quirk familiarly, so very similar to Karin's method of grinning.
"An iPod?"