Chapter 11

They say that takes one to know one.. But when you don't like what you see, then what? How you face the truth about certain things?

The last month I was looking at myself and I could really see a new person, a person I never thought that existed.. I was trying to understand everything but I realized at the end that as I was searching more and more to find the answers I was seeking I had to let myself be free.. But how could I be free when practically I was tied up on the life I created, a life I craved, the person I wanted to be..

Next morning after what took place in my apartment I woke up earlier than the usual, but the truth is that I didn't sleep at all.. I run as I never did before and the cold air on my face was in a way awaking me.. I came home, I showered and went at the theatre..

When I got inside the theatre I was alone.. I was surprised because usually everyone was here but when I checked my watch it showed 8.30am.. Of course no one was here yet as we were supposed to be here in an hour.. It didn't bother me though.. No.. It has been a long time since I felt that peace.. The silence.. I took off my coat, left my handbag on one of the front seats and I stepped on the stage.. The theatre seemed so much different when no one was here.. Someone would say cold but I would say warm in a way.. I could feel this aura.. All the people who were on the same stage long before I was.. The plays that were played, the smiles, the bows, the tears.. And with all these feelings inside I just started to sing and I let myself feel free..

"Bravo, bravo.." I heard someone saying and clapping at the same time.. "You prove me every day why I hate you so much Rachel Berry.." when I looked back I saw it was Santana who was coming close to the stage "I see you didn't lose time.. Wanted to play the star again? I thought that you already was.."

"Santana, I don't want to fight with you.. I really don't know what is your problem but I am not.." before I finish my sentence she was up on the stage walking to where I was.. Santana was a intimidating person.. She was a good singer, a good dancer but unfortunately she was so angry.. I could see it every time she was looking at me or talking to people..

"You are not what Berry?"

"If you want the stage is all yours.." I said and I was about to leave when she stopped me..

"Giving up so fast? I didn't expect that from the star of Broadway and award winner.. You are a fraud Berry.. A fraud.. And instead of making us the favor and leave, you are still playing a role that really doesn't suit you.." I wasn't planning to answer but I never was someone who was letting things go and this time if Santana wanted to play two could play this game..

"I am a fraud Santana? Let's try this again.. What about you being a liar to all of us but first to yourself.." she laughed that sarcastic laugh and she had her arms crossed on her chest..

"Please tell me why I am the liar Berry"

"I know Santana.. I know about you and Britanny.. As I know about your hateful things you said about people being gay.. And look at you now, being with a girl.."

"You don't know what you are talking about.." she said coming right infront of my face.. I was sure she would hit me because the anger she had was that obvious..

"You know what I mean Santana Lopez.. So before judging other people, start from yourself first.. I don't know from where are you coming and what happened to your life for you to be so hateful to people.. I am not better than you.. I've done things I am not very proud of but at least I am not a hater and I don't let out my anger to people because I am a lesbian" once I said the word it was like I turned the switch off.. Like something was broken inside her.. And I might be wrong but I think I saw a tear forming in her eye.. I expected her to say something back, to do something, but she walked away from me and left me standing on the stage..

I haven't seen her till it was time for the play to begin.. And that was at 7pm in the evening.. She didn't look at me not once and Britanny was always next to her but it was like Santana was pushing her away.. Looking at them I realized I did the same with Quinn the other day, I was afraid and I pushed her away, but I knew what these feelings were and I knew what I had to do..

Once we finished and I dressed back to my clothes I took a taxi and went to find Quinn to where she worked.. I was known by now at the club so when the doorman saw me he smiled and opened the door for me to get in..

I knew it wasn't her time to go out yet so I went back to her dressing room to see her and explain to her that I wanted her as I never wanted anyone in my life.. I wanted to tell her that I was ready to break up my supposed relationship with Tony and to be with her if she wanted me.. But when I opened the door I saw another girl being all over Quinn and my heart stopped..

"Rachel.." Quinn said but I couldn't hear.. My heart stopped.. I couldn't believe to what I was a witness.. I moved around and walked away from the sight I still couldn't believe..

"Rachel, wait please.." I realized I had tears on my face because they were burning my face.. Why I was crying? It's not that Quinn and I were together.. We only kissed.. She was free to do what she wanted.. But why it hurt? "Will you please let me explain? It's not what you think it is.." I could hear her saying and I don't know what was that I was thinking.. All I could see was that girl being all over Quinn.. I turned my face to look at her and I was trying to form the words but I couldn't..

"Rachel, please.. It's not what you are thinking about.. Sofia is into me but I am not.. When you stepped inside I was pushing her away telling her I didn't like her the same way.." I wanted to believe her so much and I knew that if I would look in her eyes I would know the truth.. And when I did I saw the way she was looking at me.. Her eyes were scared but they were telling me the truth..

"I shouldn't act the way I did.. For that I am sorry.. It's not we are together or anything.."

"We could be if you wanted that.." she said and cupped my face and I could feel her need to kiss me.. It was the same need I had..

"Actually that's why I was coming here tonight.. To tell you that and that I was going to break up with Tony.."

"If you are sure about that.."

"I know what I want Quinn.. And being with you it just makes me feel things I never felt before.. It's fast, it's scary, I don't even know you.. We only went out once.. But.. It's just that I can't take my mind off you.. Since the first say I saw you.. And I would like to know where this thing could take us.." without saying anything she kissed me and that kiss was making my legs trembling.. I could feel it in my heart that what I was doing here with her was the right thing..

"I have to go out in a few.. Wait for me?"

"I'll be sitting to the table that is the closest to you.."

She kissed me one more time and we walked together to the stage where she went on the backstage and I went to sit to the closest table as I told her I would..

TBC

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