A/N: I know I say this every time, but you guys have no idea how much I appreciate you taking the time to tell me that you're enjoying my stories. Thank you for all those wonderful, wonderful reviews :)
I had absolutely no help from the canon for this chapter (except for two things, which I've mentioned in the A/N at the end). This chapter takes place sometime between 'TOW the Yeti' and before Ross moves in with the guys.
This chapter does not cover the 'Swing Kings' date. That'd probably be in the next chapter.
That Thing Called Love
Chapter 10
"C'mon! Pick something!" Joey whined, hopping from one foot to the other.
Chandler sighed. "Look, I just want this to be perfect. This is kinda like our one month anniversary. So-"
"Kinda?" Joey frowned. "I thought you guys said that it's been more than a month."
"Yes, but we didn't celebrate it back then, 'cause, you know, it wasn't really official. But now…" Chandler shrugged, not realizing that he was smiling too widely.
Joey gave him a weird look, nodding. "OK, but let's do this fast because the game starts in like twenty minutes."
"Sure." Chandler moved along the aisle, inspecting every gift article. Surprisingly, everything looked either too gaudy or too 'high-school'y. Picking out an anniversary gift was going to be much harder than he'd thought.
Joey checked his watch again and tutted with impatience. "What kind of stuff are you looking for?"
"Something romantic." He picked up a bracelet, observing it closely. He placed it back down on noticing that the charms were tiny lizards. Definitely not romantic.
"Like something that says 'I love you'?" Joey held up a snow globe, which contained two newly-weds kissing and said 'I love you' on the base. He placed it back quickly when Chandler answered his question with a rather intense glare. "OK… So, no 'I love you'."
It didn't look like they were going to make it to the game. Joey resigned himself to that fact, but gave it one last try. "You know, there's a jewelry shop right across the street. You could gift her something romantic and special."
"That's not a bad idea, Joe." Chandler patted his arm, smiling appreciatively.
Feeling encouraged, Joey continued. "You can maybe get her a ring or something. I am pretty sure they're much cheaper than those necklaces," he told his friend helpfully.
Chandler stared at him disbelievingly. Joey's thoughts and ideas could astonish him at times, and this was one such moment. Did he really not know what he was suggesting? "I want to give her something that's romantic and does not say 'Will you marry me?'"
"Oh," Joey nodded slowly, finally getting it. He thought hard again. "Oh, hey, you could get her her favorite book, too! That's what you got Kathy."
Chandler cringed at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name, but shrugged a moment later. "Yeah, I guess books are an option, too."
"Oh! Oh! I know what'd be a great book! You should totally gift her 'The Kamasutra'." He winked at Chandler. "Now that would be romantic and sexy."
I knew I shouldn't have brought him with me for this.
When Chandler glared at him so long for several moments, Joey lost his patience. What did a man have to do to be treated with some civility? "Oh, my god!" he exclaimed, and extracted two tickets to the game, from his pocket. "Here, have this." He handed one to Chandler and turned around to leave. "If you can, make it to the game. Else, I'll see you back home when you're done." With that, he left, leaving Chandler to his own devices.
~.~
"And then the customer told me that it's the best veal chop he'd ever had." Monica smiled at him widely, her eyes bright with pride and excitement. She'd never looked cuter, he had to admit.
Joey had gone to bed, not wanting to see stuffs that he didn't want to see, but not before telling Chandler that he'd missed 'a great game'. "I still can't believe you didn't take my 'Kamasutra' suggestion," he'd muttered just as Monica had made her entrance. He'd bid them goodnight and had left for his room.
Chandler watched her with amusement, propped on an elbow as he lay on his bed, his hand supporting his head. She sat at an arm's reach from him. He smiled back as he moved in closer to her, to pull her nearer. "Well, for $33, it better be," he murmured as he pushed the strap of her slip down her shoulder.
She moved to slap his arm, but he ducked, grinning. He pulled her into his arms when she didn't protest.
"So, it's been like a month and a half," he said conversationally, nibbling one shoulder, sliding the strap down to her elbow, his thumb brushing her nipple.
"Yes." She nodded, sighing. "But if you keep that up, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose all track of time." She lay down next to him, playing with the collar of his T-shirt. "It's been a good one and a half months," she said softly, suddenly feeling too nervous.
Being in a new relationship, she wasn't sure as to what the right things would be to say to him. And given that it was Chandler, she'd always have to tread carefully, unless she wanted to unleash his commitment-phobic side.
He pulled back from her shoulder to look at her, much to her surprise, smiling lightly. "A really good one and a half months," he nodded, agreeing. He lay down on his side, facing her, looking at her with an expression which she found hard to decipher.
"What?" she asked him, watching him work up the courage to tell her something.
He let her strap lay limp on her elbow and moved in to kiss her on the lips. Her taste was slowly becoming familiar, comforting and arousing. Initiating a soft French kiss, momentarily lost in the ethereality of the moment, he felt her fingers starting to undo the buttons on his shirt. He pulled back to lift her slip over her head, and tossed it on the foot of the bed.
She stifled a giggle. Any other moment, she'd have killed him for just throwing the clothes on the floor, but now, she couldn't care less. She resumed her work on his shirt.
"Mon?" He kissed her forehead, watching her as she focused intently on undoing the buttons.
"I'm a little busy here." She kissed his exposed chest, her fingers starting on the penultimate button.
"Do you think, um… maybe we could go out sometime?" he asked her, his heart thumping hard against his ribs.
Her fingers froze on the button, and she lifted her face slowly to meet his gaze, shocked. That, she hadn't been expecting. "Like a date?"
They've had sex for god knows how many times, but this made them more nervous. Theirs was indeed a weird courtship.
He grinned at her, removing his shirt on figuring out that she wasn't going to continue anytime soon. "Like a date," he confirmed. "If that's OK with you," he added, suddenly concerned.
Her face broke into a huge smile. She nodded. "I'd love to," she whispered back, leaning in to kiss him again.
He kissed her back, feeling the euphoric high that he always felt when they were together. Kissing her jaw line and collarbone, his lips making their way down to her breasts, he murmured against her skin, "Tomorrow night at eight?"
"Hmm," she responded, giving him her vague assent.
She really was losing track of time.
~.~
"So, what did you get her?" Joey queried through a mouthful of cereal. They were having breakfast at their own place since Monica had left for her apartment a little too late to cook that morning.
"I got her a book," Chandler replied, perusing the front page of the newspaper.
"The Kamasutra?" Joey asked for the fifth time, hopefully.
"No, Joe."
Joey didn't seem interested in continuing the conversation after that.
Chandler had indeed bought her a book. At that moment, it'd seemed romantic, but now, he had no idea whether it really was. He swirled the cereal in his bowl with the spoon, wondering what she'd think of his gift.
"When are you going to tell the others?" Joey asked, pulling Chandler back into reality. He raised an eyebrow as Chandler stared at him, dumbfounded. "When are you going to tell Ross?"
"Why- why- wh- why, why would you ask that?" He felt like he was going to get sick.
"You guys are dating now, right? So why not tell the others?" Joey countered, curious. "C'mon, Ross is her brother! Don't you think he'd be happy to hear that his little sister and his best friend are dating?" he smiled at Chandler encouragingly, even though he very much doubted that Ross would be 'happy' on hearing the news. All he wanted was not to be the sole secret-keeper of such a huge thing.
Chandler took a deep breath. "OK, first of all, Monica and I need to figure things out between ourselves before we allow others to breath down our necks. And you're a brother; would you be happy if I told you that I am dating one of your sisters?" he asked, genuinely curious, desperately seeking an older brother's point of view.
Joey shrugged. "You're a great friend, Chandler. I'd be happy if my sister went out with a guy like you."
"Thanks, man." Chandler smiled, slightly surprised.
"You're not dating any of my sisters, though, right?" Joey looked at him suspiciously, until Chandler sighed and shook his head. "Then, yeah! Any woman would be lucky to have you!" He patted Chandler's arm.
Chandler rolled his eyes, taking a spoonful of his cereal.
"So, how long till you guys 'figure things out'?" Joey persisted.
"I don't know." Chandler shrugged. "Three - four months?"
It was Joey's turn to feel like he was going to get sick. "What?" he asked, shocked. "I can't keep it a secret for that long!"
"Look, I know it's hard," Chandler placed his bowl on the counter and continued in pacifying tones. "But we're your best friends. I'm your best friend. After all the things I've done for you, don't you think you owe me at least this?" He pleaded, his hands clasped in front of his chest. "We're not really ready to tell the others, Joe."
Joey looked worried. "I don't know, Chandler. A couple of weeks would be fine. At the most, a month. But four months… Joey would get too stressed if he had to keep it a secret for that long." He stroked his forehead, looking already stressed.
"Fifty dollars," Chandler offered suddenly. "Keep it a secret for three months, and I'll give you fifty dollars."
Joey cocked an eyebrow. "Now you're paying me money to keep my mouth shut. Don't you thi-"
"Hundred dollars," Chandler increased his offer, willing to go to any extent to buy Joey's silence.
Joey hid a smirk. This arrangement could be lucrative for him. "I don't know, Chandler…" he trailed off, stroking his forehead again, faking indecisiveness.
"Two hundred for three months," Chandler leaned in, looking at Joey. "Two hundred dollars, that's the final offer. And you can't tell Monica about this. Deal?"
Joey grinned widely. "Deal." It indeed was lucrative.
~.~
"My parents have two things in common: plunging neckline, and their penchant for pre-pubescent young men."
She wouldn't usually have ice cream for dessert on a date, but tonight, she'd had a sudden craving.
The ice cream was cold, in fact so cold that she could barely recognize the chocolate flavor, but the sweetness of it soothed her tongue. She laughed as he continued to tell her the things he'd never told anyone before. Only he could turn such a horrible childhood story into something not so horrible.
She leaned forward and stroked his cheek with her fingertips. The things he does to hide his hurt.
He stopped abruptly and frowned. "Did I tell you that we were going to do this the right way?"
She pulled back, shaking her head, looking perplexed. "What right way?"
"This," he motioned between them. "This is a traditional 'first date', where there will be no putting out."
"Oh," she nodded, laughing. She moved her foot under the table and nudged his, running her foot up his shin. His eyes widened in surprise, his cheeks turning a pale pink. She leaned in and whispered, "I am not making any promises." She grinned again and returned to her ice cream.
He stared back, stunned. 'Want' was what it'd been, but it was now turning into something else, something more. He was beginning to 'like' this woman, more than he'd ever liked her as a friend, more than he'd ever admit. The pitchfork bearing green-eyed devil on the left side of his brain hissed something that made his heartbeat soar, like something was terribly wrong, and for a moment, he wished that he did not have a brain. 'Love' was a word he hadn't used since Kathy, and he sure has hell wasn't going to use it now.
She held his gaze for a second and sighed softly, gathering his hands in hers. "I'm having a really great time, Chandler," she told him sincerely.
The thing that surprised him the most, though, was that she 'liked' him back.
"Me, too," he smiled back, tightening his grasp on her hands. "See, this is exactly why I told you I'd be your boyfriend, back in Montauk. We make a great couple."
She remembered their trip to Montauk, and she still shuddered at the memory of being peed on, but his remark, even after a year, made her feel guilty. She had no idea how to respond. "Chandler, I… Back then- It was-" she fumbled with her words, but he put her out of her misery by cutting her off, halfway.
"Oh, that's fine." He shrugged magnanimously. "I know it was my mistake," he paused for effect. "I should have offered to put out back then."
Grateful that he'd gotten them past the awkward moment, she laughed again, shaking her head. "You think too highly of yourself."
Before he could reply, they were distracted by a commotion in the room.
A woman held a saliva and chocolate covered diamond ring in her hand, gasping and hyperventilating so loudly that she succeeded in garnering the attention of every person around her. The man who'd been sitting across her smiled nervously and got up from his chair to kneel down in front of her, taking the ring from her palm.
"OK, that's a little gross," Chandler whispered to Monica still looking at the scene. When he turned to look at her, he saw that she was watching the couple with a light smile, completely engrossed in what was happening.
On hearing him, she pulled her eyes away from them to look at him. "And really cliché," she whispered back.
"What?" He frowned. "Proposing?"
"Elizabeth, will you marry me?" the guy was saying, and they heard the woman shout an ecstatic 'Yes!'. The whole room erupted into applause as the guy slipped the ring onto the woman's finger.
They clapped, too.
She turned back once the clapping faded. "No, the whole ring-in-cake thing," she clarified.
So, no ring in cake, he made a mental note for a moment, until the green-eyed devil jabbed its pitchfork against his brain. His head reeled when he realized what he was thinking. What are you listing the ways not to propose to her for?
"Yeah," he nodded absentmindedly, feeling utterly nonplussed.
"What if she swallows it?" she continued, oblivious to his thoughts. "That'd be one disastrous proposal."
"Yes, absolutely." He nodded vigorously. Something was freaking him out, and he was trying hard to not let it show. "I mean, if I were to propose to you, I'd-" he stopped abruptly, his mind slowly replaying the words that he'd just blurted out.
She sat still, her face expressionless, watching the color slowly drain from his cheeks.
"I mean- what I meant- what I meant was – is-" he stammered, his panicked brain drawing a blank. The devil was sniggering.
Her lips curved into a huge smile and she began to laugh, shaking her head.
He didn't know whether he should be relieved or mortified. "Mon, I-" he started again.
He stopped when she leaned across the table, her fingers tightly grasping his shirt collar. "Bing, shut up and kiss me."
He sighed in relief, smiling into the kiss, finally succeeding in kicking out the green-eyed devil from his head, along with its pitchfork.
~.~
"Thank you for a wonderful evening," she mumbled against his lips, pinned between him and his apartment door.
"You're welcome for a wonderful evening," his words ghosted against her skin before his lips met hers again.
"We should- do- this again- sometime," she whispered between kisses. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away firmly. "Call me," she smiled, continuing their 'traditional first date' game.
He was no longer so keen on continuing it. He pulled himself closer to her again, trapping her between his arms. "I have a better proposition: Come to my place."
"Wow, you're really good with double entendres," she giggled, raising her eyebrow. "And I thought we were going to do this the traditional way."
"Yes, but I changed my mind." He shrugged. "Screw the traditional way. This way, I get to have sex."
She laughed, pushing him away again. "Okay, but I don't sleep with guys on the first date."
He raised an eyebrow as if to ask 'Really?'.
She glared at him with her hands on her hips. "What?"
He shook his head, smiling. "I thought you didn't make any promises."
She shrugged, moving towards her apartment. He caught her elbow and pulled her back against him, peering into her eyes. "Stay."
She held his gaze, her breath quickening against her will. "Okay," she murmured back. As long as he looked at her like that, she'd never be able to leave.
~.~
Frantically attempting to get closer to each other, in spite of the barrier that their clothes have created between them, Chandler and Monica stumbled into his apartment, their lips fused together. They pulled apart reluctantly when they heard Joey groan.
"Are you guys kidding me?" Joey stood up, turning off the TV. "Do I have to see that every single time?"
"Sorry, Joey," they both mumbled, amazed at Joey's ability to make them feel this guilty.
Joey shook his head in exasperation and left for his room, muttering something inaudible.
The things he had to see for $200.
Chandler turned to Monica when Joey's door closed. "So, where were we?" he asked as he led her into his bedroom.
"Let me see," she moved closer, undoing his tie. "I believe we were right here." She stood on her toes to kiss him.
He pulled back a second later. "Wait, wait."
"What?" she whined, moving to sit on his bed as he rummaged in his closet, pulling out the drawers.
"I…" he trailed off, finally finding the gift-wrapped book. He turned towards her. "I bought you a present for our one-month anniversary." He handed it to her, his demeanor turning suddenly nervous.
She took it from him, looking surprised. "Wow, I wasn't really expecting any present," she said, her fingers lingering on the wrapping.
"We never got to celebrate it back then," he smiled, waiting for her to open it.
"I'm guessing it's a book," she said, smiling back, undoing the wrapping paper slowly and carefully, not wanting to leave a mess. "It is a book!" she laughed as she pulled it out. She lifted it to her eyes, and read the title aloud. "Practical Intuition in-" she stopped abruptly, and looked up at him, like she was asking for his permission to continue.
He stared back, trying hard to read her expression, failing miserably.
Her eyes flicked to the book. "Practical Intuition in Love," she completed, her thumb tracing the rose on the book jacket. She flipped the book to read the blurb, both of them knowing that not a single word was entering her brain. She placed the book on the bed and finally looked up at him, smiling. "Thank you, Chandler. I love it."
As she leaned in to kiss him, he understood what had been bothering him all evening.
He was falling for her.
It was everything about her. The curve of her lips, the arch of her eyebrows. The folds of her ears, the blue of her eyes. The warmth of her breath on his skin.
He was falling hard and fast, and in retrospect, it didn't feel like anything was wrong. In fact, nothing else had ever felt so right.
~.~.~
A/N: I had this chapter all written and ready to post, but my computer crashed, and that's the reason behind the delay. Sorry! :(
Okay, the two things that I've borrowed from the canon are – the $200 deal with Joey and 'Practical Intuition in Love'.
The first is mentioned in season 6, in 'TOW the Apothecary Table' and as for the second one… well, you can actually see Monica reading that book in S05E07 and S05E09, and I think it's just incredibly cute! :D