Chapter XI

After what happened with Enobaria, Gale kept his distance from Madge. He still felt guilty about the way the Victor discovered what he really felt. And after that almost confession to Madge, he felt even worse with himself. He hoped she didn't understand it, because even Gale didn't understand.

He always felt drawn to her since she appeared again, but he never really spent too much time thinking about it. Bur his erratic behavior lately was making him wonder if was there something more he never wanted to see.

Watching her walk beside him on the way to work, he started noticing little things that made him happy. The way she tugged her earlobe when she was embarrassed or unsure of herself, spinning her earring between her fingers. The way she would frown when she didn't agree with something he said. How she was showing to bee more stubborn than he ever thought she could be. Her blonde curls falling on her shoulders and how he could just put his arm around them so easily, but he never did.

She was loving the school. The Capitol was right when they guessed her vocation. She would talk nonstop for hours about her students, and everything she was learning from the older teachers. She would return home with paint on her hair, face, fingers, clothes. She was radiant and he could see it.

And when he saw her bending down to see a drawing made by a little boy, he knew it. Her hair fell in front of her face but even that couldn't hide the glow on her blue eyes, and her smile lightened the ancient classroom. He watched while leaning on the classroom door frame with his arms crossed, the kid running past him to the playground in front of the school. And she looked up at him and opened that smile. And he knew he was falling for her.

She walked towards him, asking, "It's already time to go?"

"Yes," he answered, looking down at her. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing," Madge blushed. "I mean, I was thinking about buying a cake at the bakery and making something nice for dinner."

"I think you are going to do that on another night, miss Undersee," he smile and turned his back on her, starting to walk out of the school.

"What do you mean?" she asked, running to keep the pace. He just smiled at the air and didn't say anything else.

So she followed her. It's not like she had anything else to do. Still, she could have turned around and walked back home, but she was curious. And when they walked the gates of District 2, she was even more curious.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, and it didn't take long to realize where they were going.

When they arrived to the Meadow that reminded Gale so much of District 12, she saw a tablecloth on the ground and noticed Gale's backpack on his shoulder for the first time. He turned around to face her, and has a huge smile on his face.

"It's your birthday present. A picnic. Unless you have something better to do tonight."

"No, Gale, this is amazing, thank you," said Madge, and she was truly happy he decided do to something special to celebrate her day.

They sat, and he opened the backpack and started taking out stuff he brought from the house. "And we have a jar of olives for appetizer. To drink, orange juice and water. And for dinner..." He took some time and looked at her, unsure, until he showed her something wrapped in a napkin. "Cheese sandwiches. You know I'm a horrible cook."

She laughed while he started laying out the sandwiches he made. "At least we won't starve to death."

"Ha-ha, funny" Gale frowned and threw a sandwich to Madge's lap. "Maybe you should have gone out for dinner with Ferinse."

"Hugo didn't know it was my birthday. I didn't tell him," she said, matter-of-factly, unwrapping the sandwich.

"Why didn't you?" he asked, looking at her, puzzled.

She blushed. "I didn't want to spend it with him anyway."

He didn't say anything about it, but he was feeling pretty amazing inside. They chitchatted and ate, and when the sun was already going down, Gale told her he still had one last surprise. He picked his backpack and grabbed a simple white box. He gave it to Madge, who took it and blushed while opening it. Inside was a chocolate cupcake with a candle on top.

"It's your birthday cake," he said softly, lightening a match while she was taking it out of the box. He lighted the candle. "Happy birthday."

She smiled and he noticed the candle light flickering on her face. She blew it and a weird look took over her face.

"What's wrong?" Gale asked, afraid he did something wrong.

"I was just thinking..." Madge began to pick on the paper around the cupcake. "I remembered for a moment that I am alone."

"You are not alone, what about me?" he sat right next to her, looking worried.

"It's not like that," she let a little smile show. "I mean, so much has changed. There's no Games anymore. No Capitol, no President Snow. But then I remembered about everyone I will never get to see again."

Gale knew she was talking about her family, but the weight on his chest reminded him of another person he would never see again. The person that died because of him. The person who will never let him face his home District again. The reminder of what an awful person he was. And it was time to put the cards on the table for a change.

"Madge, I need to tell you something," he started, unsure about how to approach the subject. He was afraid of her reaction. He knew she would run from him. But he didn't want to keep secrets anymore.

She looked up from the cupcake, waiting for what he was going to say. "Yes?"

He moved a little, trying to face the sunset instead of her. Maybe that would make it easier. "When we went to District 13, I was hurt. Not in a physical way, but emotionally. I was a wreck. Everything I knew was gone. This huge anger started to grow inside me, and I didn't know what to do with it. So when I met Beetee and we started making experiences on the labs, we came up with some explosive devices."

He noticed Madge looking at him attentively. He couldn't even imagine the thousands of thoughts going through her mind right now. She was trying to make sense of everything he was saying, and looked and felt more ashamed by the second.

"We were the ones that caused the explosions in front of President Snow's house," he finally admitted.

"Wh- what do you mean?" Madge was afraid of the answer she would get from him. Why was he telling her all that? She didn't want to know. She wanted to live in ignorance forever. She knew his answer would change everything, so she wished she could go deaf when he opened his mouth and finally spoke.

"That I'm responsible for Prim's death."

Silence took the place. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and he wished there was a hole he could just disappear in. And slowly she fell out of the shock that came over her. "How could you?"

He turned to face her. "It wasn't planned. Prim was not supposed to be there, we didn't know-"

"She was Katniss' baby sister," Madge threw angrily at him. "She loved everybody, she loved you. And you loved Katniss. How could you do that to her?"

Gale looked, for the first time, on the verge of tears. "I- I didn't meant it, they took and destroyed everything I had-"

"There's no excuses for what you did, you are responsible for the death of dozen of young children!" She got up, and looked at him for a last time. "It's better that you never go back to 12. If I were Katniss, I would kill you with my bare hands."

She turned and walked away, the sunset light turning her hair almost red. Gale covered his face with his hands, filled of shame and disgust of himself. Prim's death would forever haunt him. He just hoped he could be able to forgive himself one day, so maybe Madge could forgive him as well. But he felt even worse when he noticed the untouched cupcake laying on the ground next to him.