Could it be Vertigo Ch. 11
Disclaimer: See chapter one
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Previously: "Guess it's just you and me now kiddo." Dean whispered as he returned his focus to his baby brother, wondering how on earth he was going to break the news to Sam about having an incurable disease. He couldn't help but worry about what kind of effect the news would have on the kid and how he would react to it." Hearing the sound of rustling coming from the bed, Dean knew he wouldn't have long to wait to find out since Sammy was beginning to stir.
As Sam began to wake, he could hear muffled voices around him and it irritated him that he couldn't understand what was being said. He felt like his ears were full of cotton and it was disconcerting to only be able to catch bits and pieces of what was being said, especially with the way his ears were incessantly ringing. Feeling uneasy about his situation, he began to shuffle about on the bed in fear. He immediately calmed down however as he felt familiar fingers softly tugging through his hair.
"Sammy, you with me kiddo?" Dean questioned, carding his fingers through his siblings hair as he watched Sam's eyes begin to flutter beneath their lids. He was eager for his brother to wake up, but in a way he was dreading it too, knowing that he was going to have to break the news about the Meniere's Disease.
"Come on Sammy, open your eyes for me." Dean prodded as he placed a hand to Sam's cheek and felt his brother lean into it. He smiled as he watched those blue-green eyes of his brother slowly open to look at him. He wasn't surprised to see a look of confusion on his brother's face as Sam glanced around in agitation. Noticing that Sam's breathing was becoming more rapid, he said, "Calm down, you're in the hospital, remember?" As he brushed the too long bangs away from his baby brother's forehead.
"Yeah. Dean, what's wrong with me?" Sam queried as he watched his brother closely since he was having a little trouble hearing what was being said. He could remember the doctors running their tests and then having another vertigo attack just before he was given something that quickly sent him into dreamland.
We'll talk about that when you're feeling more lucid." Dean told his brother as he watched the way Sammy was struggling to understand what was being said and what was going on around him. "For now, you just get some rest. I'll be right here beside you until you wake up again." Dean encouraged as he sat down on Sam's bed and pulled his baby brother close.
Snuggling into his brother's side, Sam allowed his fears to abate and drifted off to sleep once again knowing that he was protected and Dean would watch out for him until he could do it himself.
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Lying awake on his bed as the sun rose over the horizon, John wondered what was happening with his boys at the hospital and wished that he were there with them. He didn't blame Dean for letting him have it with both barrels after everything he had done, but he really needed to see his youngest and explain to him why he thought the way he did. He could only hope that Sammy would be willing to listen to him and what he had to say.
He knew that Sam had ever reason not to with the way he had treated him over the last few weeks, hollering at him and belittling him in front of people. He felt a huge amount of guilt on his shoulders for the words he had said, but what hurt him the most was the fact that he had struck his child in anger. He had swore to protect his kids, but instead, he was the one hurting them now. Sighing deeply, he climbed silently out of the bed to keep from waking Joshua and rifled through his duffle for some clean clothing. Tugging on his cleanest pair of jeans and an old gray t-shirt, he slipped on his boots to walk over to the diner across the street to get some breakfast so they could get back to the hospital as soon as possible.
Entering the small mom and pop style diner, he quickly ordered two steak and egg platters to go. Sitting on the stool as he waited for the order to be prepared, he massaged his temples as a headache began to make itself known. Closing his eyes from a particularly throbbing pain, he was surprised to open them and find a steaming black cup of coffee sitting in front of him.
"You looked like you could use a good dose of caffeine." The matronly owner explained with a smile as she looked into the weary eyes of the man sitting before her.
"Yeah, thanks." John replied as he picked up the coffee mug and took a sip.
"Ya know, things aren't always bad as they seem. I'm sure whatever is bothering you will work itself out in the end." The elderly owner stated as she gave John's free hand a light squeeze in comfort. He reminded her so much of the son she had lost only a few short years ago to a car accident and she hated to see the haunted look in his eyes.
"I sure hope you're right ma'am." John stated with a sincere smile, even though he was thinking at the same time, "If it doesn't, I'm going to lose both my sons to my own stupidity."
Upon receiving his order, John paid for the food with cash this time and made his way back to the motel room to find Joshua sitting at the table and scowling at him the minute he walked through the door.
"Where the hell were you?" Joshua questioned with ire as he glared at the hunter.
"Where the hell does it look like?" John fired back as he held the food bags up for Joshua to see.
"Sorry John, I just assumed…"
"Yeah, I know what you assumed, but I'm not that much of an ass." John declared as he placed the food down on the table. "I'll give Dean some time to talk to Sammy this morning, but I am going to the hospital and I am going to have my say whether Dean likes it or not. Sammy is still my son and I have to let him know how sorry I am for the way I acted with him."
Why did you act the way you did with the kid John, just why were you so dead set on the fact that Sam was taking drugs?" Josh queried with interest.
"That's a long story Josh, one that I'm not willing to get into now since my boys have the right to hear the news first." John answered with a weary sigh as he opened the lid on his breakfast dish and began to eat.
"Guess I can understand that." Josh replied as he too, dug into his breakfast. He just hoped that whatever it was that John had to tell his sons was a valid enough reason for being such an ass to his youngest son.
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A few hours later, Sam awoke more alert to see Dean sitting by his bedside reading a magazine as promised. Clearing his throat to let Dean know he was awake, he smiled as his older brother immediately dropped the magazine on the floor and focused his attention on him.
"Hey Tiger, you look like your feeling a little better." Dean said as he reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from Sam's eyes.
"That's cause I am." Sam replied with a smile. His hearing had cleared up some and he could hear everything that Dean was saying to him. He could still hear a ringing sound, but it wasn't as bad as it had been earlier.
"S'good kiddo, glad to hear it. Do you want me to have the nurses bring you something to eat?"
"No, I'm okay for now. What I do want though, is to find out what's wrong with me. You said you would talk with me about the test results when I was feeling more coherent, so…." Sam allowed the statement to drift off hoping Dean would fill in the details.
"Shit, I'm so not ready for this!" Thought Dean as he rubbed a hand across his jaw that was in need of a shaving this morning. Fiddling with the blankets that covered Sam's legs, Dean took a deep breath and said, "Sammy, the doctors found out that you have something called Meniere's disease."
"Meniere's disease, what's that?" Sam questioned with a perplexed look on his face since he had never heard of it before.
"According to the doctor, it's a disorder of the inner ear which causes episodes of vertigo, ringing in the ears, a feeling of fullness or pressure in the ear, and fluctuating hearing loss, which I noticed you were having trouble with earlier." Dean answered.
"But it's something they can cure right?" Sam questioned anxiously as he chewed on his bottom lip.
"I wish it were kiddo, but the doc said there is no known cure as of yet." Dean replied honestly as he grasped Sam's hand. He could feel his brother beginning to tremble as tears sprung to his eyes.
"No Dean, you're wrong, there has to be a cure. I can't live with this for the rest of my life." Sam implored as he looked at Dean with pleading eyes.
"You don't know how bad I wish they were wrong kiddo." Dean stated as he pulled Sam into his arms upon seeing the tears starting to trail down Sammy's cheeks. "But there is hope, the doc said that researchers on the verge of finding a cure, it will just take time. You can't give up hope Sammy!"
"But you don't understand Dean, I can't have this disease and still be a hunter. Dad will ship me off to Jim or Bobby's, since he already thinks I'm a worthless junkie anyway." Sam sobbed into his brother's shirt at the thought of being separated from Dean. He wouldn't mind being separated from his dad at this point in time, but the thought of being away from Dean while facing a disability petrified him.
"Whoa, you can just stop that line of thinking right now Sam. I will not allow Dad to ship you off anywhere. You hear me kiddo? You're staying right here with me." Dean retorted as he noticed the sharp rise in Sam's blood pressure.
"But I won't be of any use for you or Dad now, just a burden you'll have to deal with and you'll grow to hate me over time." Sam mumbled as the trembling in his body increased.
"Look at me Sammy." Dean said as he placed his hands on his brother's cheeks and tilted his head up until Sammy was looking at him. "I could never hate you tiger, don't you know that? And as for being useless, who is the best researcher we have this family huh kid. It sure as hell isn't me or Dad." Dean told Sammy as he rubbed his baby brother's back in comfort.
"But…"
"No more buts Sammy, and besides, the Doc said that this disease could go away for months, even years at a time, before making another recurrence. Who says you won't be one of the lucky ones and only have the attacks once in a great while?" Dean stated softly.
"Yeah, like Winchester luck is going to allow that to happen." Sam harrumphed with a snort.
"I know your disheartened with the news Sam and you probably feel like your world is caving in on you right now, but what ever happens, we'll deal with it as a family and move on. You've got to believe that kiddo." Dean retorted knowing just how bad Winchester luck usually was.
"If we're going to deal with it as a family, why isn't dad here? He's already given up on me hasn't he?" Sam said noticing the fact that his dad was nowhere in sight.
"No Sam, he's not here because I made him leave."
"You what?" Sam questioned with astonishment.
"We kind of got into it and I made him leave. I was so upset with him for accusing you of taking drugs and not standing by you that I didn't want him anywhere near you until I was sure you were ready to see him dude." Dean responded, trying to hide the anger he still held for his dad.
"Why did he think that Dean? What did I do to make Dad think I would do such a disgusting thing?" Sam queried somberly as silent tears rolled down his cheek once again.
"I'd like to answer that if you'll let me Sammy." John pleaded with his youngest as he stood at the door to the room waiting for permission to come in. He could see the angry look in Dean's eyes and held his breath as he waited for Sam to respond.
TBC Will Sammy agree to listen to what his dad has to say? And will it be enough to gain John forgiveness if he does?