Chapter 11

Josh sat on the hard, stone step, his head leaning against a black column that held the roof up. At that moment, he didn't care if the columns crumbled and the roof collapsed on top of him. As matter of fact, he would have preferred it to the feelings he was having as he sat there.

She was gone.

It had been two days. The nurses and doctors at the hospital told him that they couldn't tell him anything because he wasn't family. After sitting on the floor of her empty room for more than five hours, the doctors had security escort him out. From there he went straight to her house, but she wasn't there either. No one was there. His mother eventually came to get him and made sure that he went straight to bed, but by five o'clock the next morning, he had returned to her front step.

He had been sitting there for twelve hours and he had no desire to move. He had talk to her mothers. He had to know.

His mother's car pulled up in front of the house. Kyle got out of the driver's side, carrying a plate covered in aluminum foil. He walked over to Josh and sat down beside him.

"Nicole said to bring you this," Kyle said, offering Josh the plate. "It's your favorite…chili cheese dogs." Josh didn't take it. "She also said to tell you that she loves you and that she wishes you would come home."

"Not until I find out," Josh answered solemnly.

"Do you really think this is the best way to find out?" Kyle replied.

"What else do you suggest?" Josh retorted angrily. "We're not all mind readers, Kyle! I can't just concentrate really hard on Andy's moms and get them to tell me if she's alive or not! I can't conjure up Andy's…spirit."

He wiped a tear that fell down his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Josh. I wish there was something I could do to help you."

Josh shook her head. "There's nothing you can do. She's just…gone."

"You don't know that for sure."

"No? Where else would she be? One minute she's in a hospital, dying of cancer and the next minute she's gone! I highly doubt she left to go to Disney World!"

He felt bad that he was yelling at Kyle, but he couldn't help it. He was angry and Kyle was the only one around.

"The people we love are never really gone, Josh. Not as long as they're alive in our hearts."

"But that's just it! How can she be alive in my heart when she didn't even know that she had a place there? She didn't know that I loved her! I never told her! She died and she didn't know!"

"Andy was smart, Josh. She knew."

"I just keep sitting here thinking about how things would be if they were different."

"What do you mean?"

"What if I had met Andy before? Before she found out that her cancer was back? Or what if I paid more attention to what was on the inside rather than just wanting to date girls with big boobs? How much more time would we have had together?"

"Josh, sometimes some people are brought into our lives for certain reasons. We may not know why, but all that matters is that we let them in and we love them and we learn from them."

"What, are you and Lori taking lessons from mom now? She came by earlier with lunch and said almost the same thing."

"We're just trying to help."

"I know."

"Come on, let's go home."

"I need to be here. What if they come back when I'm not here?"

"Then you can stop by tomorrow. You can't just sit here forever, Josh. Andy wouldn't want you to."

Hesitantly, Josh stood and followed Kyle to the car.

-----

"Not hungry?"

Josh looked up from his sandwich at Melissa. She sat down beside him at the lunch table.

"Not really," he replied, throwing his sandwich down on the table. He had only taken a small bite, but that was all he could muster. He just wasn't hungry.

"I haven't seen you these last few days," Melissa said, nibbling on a granola bar.

"I haven't been feeling well," he mumbled, wishing that she would just go away.

He hadn't gone to school in days. Instead, he spent his time sitting outside of Andy's house, but there was no sign of her or her moms. Finally, Nicole made Josh go back to school. She had let him sleep in that morning, skipping his first two classes, but she insisted that he at least make it to his history class because he had an exam. Josh considered telling his mother he went to school and then skipping to go sit outside Andy's house, but he didn't. He couldn't stand to sit there anymore.

"You missed math this morning," she said. "I'll let you borrow my notes."

"Yeah, thanks."

He took a sip of his soda.

"How do you think you did on the history exam?" He didn't respond. "I thought the multiple choice questions were easy, but the last essay question really threw me. And the true and false was…"

"Look, Melissa, I'm sorry," he interrupted. "I'm just not…in the mood right now for small talk."

"It's okay," she assured him, putting her hand over his as a reassuring gesture. She stood. "Oh, and I thought you should know that someone was in the seat today."

"What seat?" He asked.

"The seat next to yours that you're always staring at. Someone was sitting in it today."

"Who?"

"I don't know. I've never seen her before."

"Her? What was she wearing?"

"What?"

"What was she wearing?" He shouted.

"Ahh…a long tan skirt…"

His eyes grew wide. "A skirt?"

"And a…a T-Shirt, I think. Why?" Josh jumped up, spilling his soda all over the table and his pants. "Josh?"

He ran towards the school, leaving Melissa staring after him.

Author's Note:

Only one more chapter left!