AN: Time for a game of spot the reference/quote! If you find them put them in your review and where they are from. My magical genie will then grant you one wish!

Disclaimer: I don't actually have a magical genie. That was a lie and I am ashamed. (hangs head in shame) I don't own Sweeny Todd or Pirates or anything else recognizable that happens to pop up in here. But if I pulled a Gilderoy Lockhart…

Thoroughly Annoying Sister

Mrs. Lovett felt that she had made a breakthrough. She had finally gotten Mr. T. to get out of that dark, dank shop of his to get some fresh air. But, more importantly, she had gotten him to get out of that dark, dank shop of his to get some fresh air with her! So, yes, Mrs. Lovett was very proud of herself.

I, on the other hand, wasn't sure what to think. I knew how happy she made Jack, even though he never showed it. But then there was our joke to think about. I mean, sometimes I just wanted to kill her dead! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (AN: please hold while I stop her from blowing something up)

ELEVATOR MUSIC

Well, Miss Supreme Ruler of the Universe, you have some good points. (AN: Of course I do. Now fix the fourth wall and get on with the story.) Yes sir! Now where was I? Oh yes! The picnic.

Well, they set up under the shade of a tree and Toby ran off to play. It was the perfect little scene except for one minor detail: they didn't invite me!

I had appeared up in the barbershop and expected to be welcomed warmly by my favorite and only brother, but he was gone. Sure, I had known about the picnic. I just thought that I'd have some warning before he left. I was really ticked off by this and when I get ticked off, people don't have good days. I decided to make a little surprise visit to the happy scene. Muhahahahahahahahaha…

I reappeared in the tree that they were sitting under. Mrs. Lovett was yakking away about… well… I don't know… I really didn't care all that much. Jack was sitting there, staring out into space. Unbeknownst to Mrs. Lovett but knownst to me, Jack was hanging on her every word. It made me gag. I smiled wickedly and jumped out of the tree. Right in front of Jack.

"Hello Jacky-Boy!" I could feel Jack tense a little. "Prepare for the most annoying day of your life!" I said, and made a drum appear.

"Mr. T? You listening to me?" Jack realized that Mrs. Lovett was still sitting next to him.

"Of course." He said immediately. For a few seconds he hadn't been listening to her. He'd been too busy glaring at me. She didn't buy it.

"Then what did I just say?" she asked. Jack said the first thing that popped into his head.

"There must be a way to the Judge."

"Judge. Always harping on the bloody old Judge."

"Smooth, Romeo." I said, as Mrs. Lovett went into a full whispered rant. Then she made her move.

"Ooh, Mr. Todd—"

She kissed him on the cheek, and I banged on the drum.

"I'm so happy"

Kiss. BANG!

"I could—"

Kiss. BANG!

"Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to
Do, Mr. Todd?"

Kiss. BANG!

"What I dream—"

Kiss. BANG!

"If the business stays as good,
Where I'd really like to go—
In a year or so…"

"Time to break out the one-man-band equipment!"

"Don't you want to know?"

"Of course." And he really did.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, I do." But he wasn't going to get the chance to hear it. I started playing one of my favorite march songs as loudly as I could. DA DA DA! DA DA DA! DA DA DA!

"By the sea, Mr. Todd,
That's the life I covet."

DA DA DA! DA DA DA! DA DA DA! DA!

"By the sea, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, I know you'd love it!"

DA! DA DA DA! DA! DA DA DA!

"You and me, Mr. T.,
We could be alone"

DA DA DA! DA DA DA! DA DA DA!

"In a house wot we'd almost own,
Down by the sea."

"Anything you say."

Jack sang over my loud noises. I would have to be worse.

"Wouldn't that be smashing?"

I smashed the symbols together, lost the one-man-band stuff, and started to march around the blanket.

"Think how snug it'll be
Underneath our flannel"

"Mickey Mouse Club! Mickey Mouse Club!" I started to sing. I couldn't quite see Jack twitching yet.

"When it's just you and me
And the English Channel."

"Hey there! Hi there! Ho there! You're as welcome as can be!" I sang a little louder.

"In our cozy retreat,
Kept all neat and tidy,"

"M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!"

"We'll have chums over every Friday
By the sea…"

"Mickey Mouse!" I sang, and then Donald popped out of the tree and said; "Donald Duck!"

"Mickey Mouse!" I sang again.

"Donald Du…" but he was cut short by my frying pan connecting with his head. Hard.

"Don't you love the weather
By the sea?"

I then threw Donald Duck as far as I could. "Man! I'm bad!" I said proudly.

"We'll grow old together
By the seaside,"

And then Michael Jackson popped out of nowhere and started to sing and dance. "You know I'm bad! I'm bad!"

"Hoo! Hoo!
By the beautiful sea!"

"Oh my God! Michael Jackson Zombie! Ahhhhhhhhh!" I screamed and began to beat him with my frying pan.

"It'll be so quiet
That who'll come by it"

"Whoops. False alarm, people! That's just a past version of him." I glanced at his bloodied and pounded up face. "Looks like he's gonna need plastic surgery!" Cue the I-made-a-funny drum sound.

"Except a seagull?
Hoo! Hoo!"

I then began to sing, or rather yell to a tune. "Always look on the bright side of death!"

"We shouldn't try it,
Though, till it's legal
For two-hoo!"

"Just before you draw your terminal breath!" and I fake died.

"But a seaside wedding"

I heard the word "wedding" and I suddenly became very interested.

"Could be devised,
Me rumpled bedding"

I waggled my eyebrows at Jack, who made a low growling sound.

"Legitimized.
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter,
The moment I mutter,
'I do-hoo!'"

I smiled evilly, and then began to whisper-sing into Jack's ear: "Love and marriage, love and marriage,"

"Down by the sea,
Married nice and proper,"

"Go together like a horse and carriage,"

"By the sea—
Bring along your chopper"

"This I tell you brother,"

"To the seaside,"

"You can't have one,"

"Hoo! Hoo!"

"You can't have none,"

"By the beautiful sea!"

"You can't have one without the other."

The last insult hit its mark as Mrs. Lovett finished her song. I smirked, chuckled, and then disappeared with a…

Now what was it? Not a POOF! … a WAZING! …? No. Not a BZZZZZZZ! … No, no, no. It was more like the sound the willows make when the wind blows through them. Did you see that? That was poetry. What now, huh!? What now!!!!!!!!! What are you gonna do abou…………

(AN: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

PLEASE STAND BY FOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

WE SHOULD BE UP AND RUNNING BY THE NEXT CHAPTER

IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE ENJOY THE STATICY SOUNDS YOUR TV SOMETIMES MAKES MIXED WITH SHAKESPHERE'S ROMEO AND JULIET!

PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRomeo! Romeo! Where for art thou, Romeo? PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFor sooth! What soft light through yonder window breaks? It is the east! And Juliet is the sun!PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHuhhh. Yeah, that's about all I know. Good knight/day everyone!PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHCOOKIE-CAKE!)