Chapter 11: Clarity
Ron was released from St. Mungo's on Saturday morning, and they took him back to the Burrow. McGonagall had sent word that Harry, Ginny, and Hermione were excused from school until Wednesday so they could spend a little time with their family. Harry was very grateful for this, because he had some things he needed to discuss with them, and he felt it would be easier if he had ample time to explain.
Upon arriving at the Burrow Mrs. Weasley began shooing a still rather weak Ron towards his bedroom, but he put a hand up and looked at her with a determined expression.
"Hermione's going to be staying in my room." he said.
"Excuse me??" said Mrs. Weasley, "Ronald Bilius Weasley… you know the rules of this house…"
"Mum…" Ron interrupted, his voice was tired but still resolved, "In less than a months time I am going to be nineteen years old. By the time you were nineteen you were already pregnant with Bill. Hermione is my fiancé, we're going to be married, and she just went through hell, thinking I was dead. I want to keep her close to me… and I'm going to. If you refuse to let me do so in this house, then I'll go back to Hogsmead."
For a moment Harry thought that Mrs. Weasley might be about to tell him to leave, but she gave one more angry glare, and then acquiesced and let Hermione help Ron up the stairs to his room.
"I guess you'll be staying in Fred and George's old room then Harry." she resignedly.
Harry hesitated, now that Hermione was allowed to stay in Ron's room, he wondered if dared to ask for the same allowances, but before he could even come to a decision, Mr. Weasley stepped forward towards his wife, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Molly dear…" he began cautiously, "I think… that if we are letting Hermione stay in Ron's room, it's only fair that we let Harry stay with Ginny."
Mrs. Weasley looked at her husband like he had gone completely insane, but Harry was leaping for joy on the inside.
"I know…" said Mr. Weasley reading his wife's expression, "I'm not extremely fond of the idea either, but Ron is right. They are all adults now, and they are going to be married soon, and we knew we'd have to accept this fact of life one day. So as long as they are being responsible." He shot a look in Harry's direction and Harry nodded vigorously to assure him. "Then I think we have no choice but to allow them to share a room."
There was a long pause as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stared at each other, and Harry had the distinct impression that they were having an entire conversation silently. Finally Mrs. Weasley seemed to notice Harry was still standing there.
"Well go on then if you must…" she snapped, but Harry knew she'd accepted it.
Harry walked at a steady normal pace until he was sure that he was out of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's line of sight and then he bolted up the stairs as fast as he could and burst into Ginny's little room. She jumped violently from her bed where she had been lying.
"Good Lord Harry! You almost gave me a heart attack! What's up, why are you so chipper?" she said suspiciously.
"Oh just came up to get settled…" he said with a mischievous grin.
'What do you mean?" said Ginny looking confused.
Harry plopped down on the bed next to her and kissed her and then he grinned at her again.
"Ron put his foot down and told your Mum that Hermione's staying with him while we're here." explained Harry.
"Ok…." said Ginny still confused.
"So your Dad decided if they got to stay in the same room…." Said Harry, prompting her to figure it out.
'Oh!" said Ginny excitedly, "You get to stay in here with me! No secret switching?"
"Yup," said Harry and he laughed as she flew into his arms and hugged him excitedly.
She began to kiss him purposefully and he felt her gently begin to push him back onto the bed. Her red hair fell around his face in a silky sheet as she moved over top of him. He wrapped his hands around her waist and let his fingers trace the soft skin under the edge of her shirt. But then he remembered that he and Ginny had something they needed to talk about. He pulled his lips from hers, but she simply began to kiss down the side of his neck. He closed his eyes and enjoyed her touch; he had to use all his self control to stop her.
"Ginny wait…" he whispered, and she stopped and looked down at him.
"What's up?" she said.
"We need to talk about something, and I think we should talk about it before we continue..." he said, as he brushed her hair back and caressed her cheek.
She allowed him to sit up and face her and then she absentmindedly began to trace the lines on the palm of his hand.
"What's up?" she said again, and she gave him a wary look.
"I talked to Kingsley today… and I told him that I don't want him to involve Ron and Hermione in missions for the ministry anymore." said Harry slowly, he was trying to gauge her reaction.
"Ok…" she said, she didn't sound angry, so Harry assumed it was safe to continue.
"Ginny… I love you, and you know I hate having to leave you. But darling, I want to be an Auror, that means even when they're not asking me to do things just because I'm Harry Potter, my work will always be dangerous… I need to know if you are going to be able to handle that."
Ginny looked into his eyes. There were so many emotions in her gaze, fear, sadness, love, determination. Finally she spoke.
"I know that you will always be doing things that are dangerous Harry. You were right before, when you said it's one of the reasons I love you, because you have to be making the world better, its part of who you are. And yes, I'm always going to hate it when you have to go away, but I will learn to bear it, because I would rather live a life worrying about the man who I love more than life itself, then live a life without you." She put her hand on his cheek and gave him a loving smile.
"Sometimes… I think you all might have been better off if I just hadn't sat in Ron's train compartment first year. Then you all could just lead normal lives, you could have spent your sixth year focusing on being Quidditch captain instead of wondering whether your boyfriend was dead or alive…" said Harry quietly.
'Harry Potter you seem to forget that if you hadn't met Ron on the Hogwarts express… then I would be a skeleton in the Chamber of Secrets right now, and Hermione might be dead cuz the creature would have started killing Muggle borns" said Ginny firmly.
Harry quickly looked up at her. He had not thought of this, but she was right, if he and Ron hadn't figured out how to get into the Chamber of Secrets then Ginny would have certainly died and Hermione might have been next.
"You have to stop blaming yourself, and realize that we are truly better off for having had you come into our lives. You are not some god damn curse!" she pulled his face to hers and looked him intently in the eyes as she said this.
Harry sighed and nodded, he wasn't sure what else to do. He loved Ginny so much, and he wanted to believe what she was saying, but it was so hard, everyone he seemed to care about always ended up being hurt, how could he believe he wasn't cursed?
"Harry, it wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault. You were thrown into situations way beyond your level of comprehension, and forced to deal as best you could. Can't you see how proud I am of you? You are the strongest most amazing person I know, I only wish I could make you see how much we all love you and care for you. No one is going to let you go. So stop trying to make us." She said firmly.
Harry was overcome, he had never in his life felt so needed, so appreciated for who he was, flawed and broken. He put a hand on the base of Ginny's neck and he pulled her to him and kissed her hard. He loved her more than anyone could ever imagine, the man he wanted to be was a man that made her happy, that was what his life was about now. She pushed him back on the bed again and this time Harry did not resist as she once again began kissing his neck and working her way down. He let his hands wander over the smooth soft curves of her body. He pulled her tightly against him and began to kiss her passionately. He knew that for the rest of his life, she was the only person he ever wanted to hold.
A while later Harry and Ginny lay together in Ginny's bed. Harry's heart was still pounding rather vigorously, and he was feeling a bit light headed.
"I think I might have just found a positive in you going on dangerous missions." said Ginny playfully.
"I won't argue with you there…" said Harry giving her a hug, "that was beyond fantastic."
Ginny giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, as she did her stomach grumbled surprisingly loudly.
"You're not hungry are you Gin?" teased Harry.
"I'm actually famished, I didn't have any breakfast and with the workout I just got." she grinned at him.
"Well you should go get something to eat, I'm gonna pop upstairs and talk with Ron and Hermione for a bit ok?" said Harry.
"Ok... but don't be too long." said Ginny with a smile. With that she got out of bed, got dressed and headed downstairs to make herself some lunch.
Harry pulled his clothes on and headed up towards Ron's room. He kept his ears open for the buzzing of the Muffliato charm which would indicate Ron and Hermione wanted privacy, but when he reached the top of the stairs he could hear them talking from the other side of the door. He hesitated, because it sounded like they were having a serious conversation.
"I just want to be sure that it's what you want…" Ron was saying, "Your education is really important to you... I don't want you to do anything that might screw it up in anyway."
"Ron…" said Hermione softly, "You are so much more important than anything I could learn, when I thought you were gone, the only thing I could think of was how much time I wasted, on things that don't matter, when I should have been experiencing life with you. I don't want to keep missing out, and besides you know that I won't let my education fall by the wayside, it's just a change in the way I go about things. Unless, the real reason you're saying all this is cuz you don't like the idea.."
"Hermione... I LOVE the idea... I can't wait, I just wanted you to be sure it's what you want to do…" said Ron kindly, "and by the way I have to take issue with that bit about us not experiencing life, because in the past few months I've experienced some things with you that I hadn't thought of in my wildest dreams." Ron added mischievously.
"Oh Ron…" sighed Hermione, "Here you lie weak and injured… and that's still the first thing on your mind…" she was trying to sound reproachful but the amusement cam through in her voice.
"No the first thing on my mind is you… it's always you." said Ron, "but I have to say you have me pretty addicted to the second thing." Hermione giggled.
Harry decided he'd better enter before the conversation took a more awkward turn, so he cleared his throat loudly and knocked on the door. He heard Ron say 'come in' so he opened the door. Hermione had re arranged Ron's room so that his bed was the main focus of the room, she had moved it to the center of the wall, and had engorged it so that it could fit them both comfortably. At the moment, Ron was lying in bed propped up with pillows and Hermione was sitting cross legged on top of the covers facing him. They both looked at Harry when he entered and smiled.
"Bloody hell Ron, I've seen Inferi that look better than you!" teased Harry.
"Well by the time they got me to St. Mungo's and patched me up I had lost almost 3 pints of blood." Retorted Ron, "Let's see how good you look running on half a tank!"
They both laughed and Hermione made room for Harry to come sit on the bed next to her. He looked at each of his friends with all the care in the world. They had given so much for him, even though they never said it, he knew that there were few people that loved him quite as much as the two people sitting in front of him.
"But really are you ok?" Harry said to Ron seriously, and he shot a glance at Hermione, who probably knew Ron's condition better than he did.
"He's going to be fine," said Hermione, "Healers can recreate blood, but it's a tricky process so they don't do it unless it's absolutely necessary. They said he just needs to rest until he gets his strength back."
Hermione squeezed Ron's hand as she said this and he gave her a gentle look. Harry was nodding his head in understanding, and also trying to think of how to begin what he needed to tell them.
"Harry…" said Ron, "I want to thank you for that Felix, I'd be dead as a door nail right now if I hadn't had it, I'm sure of it. You saved my life."
"No…" said Harry mildly irritated, "I'm the reason you were almost dead! Why can no one see that? Everyone thinks I'm a hero, but the only reason I save them is because being close to me puts them in situations they need saving from."
"Harry… don't do that..." said Hermione gently, but he cut her off.
'It's true Hermione; you have both been through so much because of me. Because you happened to become friends with 'the Chosen One' and if anything happened to either of you, it would be my fault. I've asked Kingsley to no longer include you in missions at the ministry. It's not your job to risk your lives and I can't make you do it any longer." Harry looked down at his hands, his emotions were threatening to overtake him.
He felt a soft hand on his shoulder and he looked up to meet their gaze. Hermione was looking at him intently, and Ron was simply giving him a sort of sad exasperated smile.
"Harry listen to me…" Hermione began slowly, "You have been a wonderful friend to me and Ron, I really doubt we would have found each other if it wasn't for you, and I know that I wouldn't be the person I am today if you hadn't pushed me and encouraged me. As far as the darkness that was brought into our lives, you didn't do that Harry, Riddle did by making you his target. It wasn't as if Ron and I were forced to stay by your side Harry, we did it because we love you, and that's not going to change."
"And we did it because we want to stop evil just as much as you Harry," said Ron, "I've never seen your friendship as a burden, it's given me the opportunity to help in ways that I never would have been able to as plain Ron Weasley, and you can't blame yourself for every bloody thing that goes wrong in the world, sometimes things just happen."
Harry looked into the faces of his two best friends and truly appreciated the fact that they were not going anywhere. He smiled at them and shook his head.
"Thank you, for everything. There will never be a way to even begin to pay you back for all you've done, but I have to put my foot down on one thing. No more missions." They began to protest but this time it was Harry that cut them off, "Ron you are a radio commentator, and Hermione whatever you choose to do I'm betting it's not going to have to do with actively fighting Dark Wizards, I'm the one who wants to be an Auror, who wants to fight evil for the rest of my life. It's not fair to keep pulling you back in, everyone's right, you've done enough. So can you please be content with helping me from the sidelines like you're so wonderful at? You always encouraging me and coming up with inventive ideas Ron, and you looking for a book that will tell us everything we need to know Hermione. I will always need you there in that capacity, but I can't have you coming into the battle with me anymore, I can't have your blood on my hands. I just can't." his voice trailed off as he finished.
They both looked at him with understanding and they nodded slowly.
"Ok Harry… we can do that." said Hermione giving his shoulder a squeeze.
"Thank you…" said Harry quietly and then he got up off the bed, 'I'd better get back to Ginny, did you guys want us to bring you up some lunch?"
"I was going to go down and get us some in a bit." Said Hermione kindly, "why don't you go spend some quality time with Ginny?"
Harry smiled appreciatively at the two of them before he headed to the kitchen to join Ginny in some lunch.
Later that evening Charlie and George stopped by to check on Ron. Harry and Hermione helped him downstairs to sit in an arm chair in the living room. He was looking better and better by the minute as his brothers regaled them with stories of their newest invention and they all laughed appreciatively.
"yeah we're launching our new line of Exploding Toilet seats next week, it should have been this week but some one has been going out almost every night with his girlfriend." mocked Charlie.
George made a face at him but seemed otherwise completely unembarrassed.
"You're just jealous because all you have to keep you company at night are the Pigmy Puffs." He retorted.
"Who're you dating George?" asked Ginny in curiosity.
"Angelina…" said George, "She came to see me a lot after... you know everything happened, and it all just sort of clicked into place... You know?"
"I think I might know what that's like…" said Harry with a smirk as he kissed Ginny on the head.
"Well I think I'm going to head off to bed." said Ron, "I'm still rather tired."
"Yeah I bet you are…" breathed Charlie under his breath, and Harry, Ginny, and George began to giggle. George on the other hand was not as discreet as Charlie. He called out to Ron and Hermione as towards were headed up the stairs.
"Oi! Be careful you two. If what we heard on Christmas was any indicator, you might bust Ron's head open again!" he said with a satisfied smirk. Harry could tell he'd been dying to rib on them about this ever since it happened.
Both Ron and Hermione turned around very quickly and stared at the group with a horrified expression.
"Were you eavesdropping on us?" gasped Hermione towards George.
"Well not exactly, you weren't being very quiet." teased George.
"But we used Muffliato, you shouldn't have been able to hear anything!" she said irritably.
"That spell is meant to muffle the noise of conversations, but when you're say…. Screaming at the top of you lungs? You can be heard through it somewhat." said George.
Hermione turned a flaming shade of scarlet and turned to huff up the stairs indignantly, grabbing Ron's arm to pull him with her. Ron was also quite red but when he got to the stairs he turned to give his older brothers a guilty grin, which they returned with thumbs up, and the whole room collapsed into laughter.
Two days later Harry, Ginny, and Hermione returned to Hogwarts. Ron was in his flat but he was not scheduled to return to work until the following week. Hermione had made a fuss about him staying by himself but he had promised her that he was fine. He was on his feet again, and while he was still slightly pale, he seemed to be back to his old self.
On Friday night Harry and Ginny were sitting in Harry's room working on an assignment for Herbology class with Neville helping them, when Hermione and Ron cam bursting into the room looking very happy.
"What's up with you two?" said Harry as he put down his quill.
"We have something to tell you." said Hermione breathlessly, "and then I need your help."
"Ok…" said Harry he was still confused.
"I've just spoken to McGonagall… and I'm moving out of Hogwarts." said Hermione.
"What??" said Ginny, "You can't drop out of school Hermione! I know that this thing with Ron has been hard on you but think about what you're doing!"
"Oh don't be silly I'm not dropping out of school! Ron and I have just decided to move in together." Said Hermione with an amused sigh, "I'll be coming up to the school each day for my lessons."
'Wow! That so great! Good for you!" said Harry earnestly.
"Yeah, after everything that happened… we just don't want to waste anymore time being apart you know?" said Ron as he gave he a one armed squeeze.
"Yeah I do." said Harry with a smile as he glanced at Ginny.
"Wow…Hermione. You're Head Girl, and now you're shacking up with your fiancé… talk about Hogwarts scandal." teased Neville.
"Yes McGonagall wasn't extremely keen on it either, but there's no rule that says seventh year students can't live off the grounds. So she said as long as I kept up with my duties she would allow it." explained Hermione.
"So what did you need our help with?" asked Harry.
"I was hoping you all would help me levitate all my luggage down to Hogsmead." said Hermione with a smile.
They all jumped up to give her a hand smiling and chatting happily.
The next few weeks seemed like they were straight out of a dream for Harry. He spent long amazing days with Ginny, followed by even more amazing nights. Neville and Luna came to visit them often, and Hermione and Ron also stopped by rather regularly, thought not as regularly as they'd used to. Like Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione were in the honeymoon phase of their new living situation and were acting so unashamedly happy that Harry thought some people must find it sickening, but since he was feeling the same way he didn't mind a bit. He felt so at peace once again, but it was even better, because he had finally accepted that part of him that would always need to be fighting, and so had everyone else. So he was free. The world seemed absolutely perfect.
Therefore the scene that met him when he walked into his room one evening towards the end of February surprised him very much. Hermione was sitting on the couch holding a cup of tea which she was staring at intently. Ginny was sitting next to her with a hand on her shoulder in what looked like an attempt to comfort her. Ginny leaned over and said something softly into Hermione's ear and Hermione nodded slightly. Ginny got up and walked over to Harry.
"I gave her a cup of tea… because it's what Mum always does to comfort us when we're upset. But you need to talk to her Harry, she's not listening to me." said Ginny gently.
Harry walked across the room to his friend. He knelt down in front of her and put a hand on her knee, he could tell that Hermione had been crying, and he was completely bewildered as to what could be wrong.
"Hermione…" he said softly, "what in the world is wrong? Is it Ron? What did he do this time? I swear if he's being stupid again I'll kill him myself."
Hermione gave a weak laugh and Harry moved up next to her on the couch and put his arm around her as she spoke.
"I'm afraid you killing him would only make the problem worse Harry…" she said quietly, "and he hasn't done anything wrong."
"Then what is it?" Harry pressed gently.
Hermione turned and looked at him, her lip was trembling and her eyes were filling with tears again. She took a deep breath before she answered him.
"Harry I think that I'm pregnant." She said, and a few tears spilled over the edges of her eyes.
Harry sat there… momentarily stunned. He let her words sink in and then without thinking his eyes moved to Hermione's perfectly flat stomach and then back to her face.
"How… don't you use that charm?" he was very confused, if Ginny had used a charm that had effectively prevented pregnancy for so long, how could Hermione have messed it up?
"Yes… but it's… Oh Harry I was just so stupid!" she cried.
"You're going to have to explain this to me." said Harry, still thoroughly confused.
"That charm…." Hermione began, "is not something girls can use all the time because it freezes our reproductive organs, we have to take it off for two weeks every four months, or it can mess things up rather badly."
Harry looked to Ginny for confirmation and she nodded slightly. Harry wasn't sure of the exact workings of the female reproductive system, but he knew enough that this seemed to make sense.
"I decided to take the charm off for the two weeks before we went on that mission. We were all so stressed, tired, and busy that I knew Ron would barely even notice… I was supposed to put the charm back on the day we got back. But then with everything that happened with Ron, I completely forgot about it until later that week, and now… well lets just say all the signs are right." She looked down again and took a small sip of her tea as if she needed something to do.
Harry didn't press her, he was not one hundred percent sure what signs women had that they were pregnant, but in his experience, when they started noticing signs, it was a pretty sure thing. He looked up at Ginny who shrugged in a way that confirmed his suspicion. He squeezed Hermione's shoulder in comfort.
"Have you told Ron yet?" he asked her.
"No…" said Hermione, "I can't bear to... there's a test I can do… a spell that tells you, but I'm too scared."
"Why?" said Harry, "I mean yeah it's not ideal timing, but Hermione Ron loves you, and you love him. You're going to be getting married soon, a baby really isn't the end of the world."
"I'm too young Harry..." she whispered, "I have so many more things I want to do before I become a Mum, not to mention I don't know the first thing about taking care of a baby!"
"Hermione I understand that you're scared, and I know you weren't expecting this so soon, but I also know that you'll be an amazing mother, and you and Ron will still have amazing adventures, and some you couldn't even imagine." He hugged her again, "Go home and tell Ron, then take the test, and you two find out whether we're going to be having a new arrival in our family. I promise everything is going to be ok…"
"You're right Harry…" she said quietly, and she rose to leave. "Thank you for the tea and the comfort Ginny." She said.
"Anytime Hermione. Just try not to worry, it's going to be ok…" Ginny encouraged.
Hermione bid them a half hearted goodbye and then she walked out the door. Harry turned to Ginny and let his utter shock finally register on his face. Ginny shook her head in agreement.
"Poor Hermione..." she said softly, as she put her arm around Harry, but then she looked up at him and added, "Don't worry by the way, I'm always very careful."
"Good." said Harry, and he gave her a squeeze.
Harry was not at all surprised when Ron walked into his room the next day looking like someone had just told him his favorite Quidditch team had been permanently disbanded. He slumped down in a chair by the fire without saying a word. Ginny got up and headed for the door but not before shooting an encouraging look in Harry direction.
"She told you then…" said Harry slowly to Ron.
Ron was staring into the fire but Harry could tell he was not even really seeing it. He nodded numbly in response to the question.
"So did she take the test?" asked Harry.
"Yup…" said Ron weakly, "Little green line came from her stomach to the tip of the wand…" he made a motion as if he was watching the scene again in his mind, "means she's pregnant."
Harry went over and put his hand on Ron's shoulder, he had been expecting this to be the outcome, but it was also a heavy thing to hear in such finality.
"She's going to the doctor tomorrow to have it confirmed…" said Ron his voice sounded tired.
"Are you alright mate?" said Harry.
"I dunno Harry… I mean a baby? I love Hermione, and I knew I wanted us to have a family. It's just really soon. I don't know how to be a Dad… what if I drop the kid or something." said Ron, and he put his face in his hands.
"Hey... you're going to be a great Dad, any kid would be lucky to get you, and as far as worrying about dropping the baby. We'll get you plenty of practice with Teddy before your kid gets here, so that the chance of brain damage will be minimal for the little guy." said Harry, "I mean he's already gonna be at a disadvantage mentally with you as a father." teased Harry.
Ron aimed a kick at Harry, but he also smiled. Harry chuckled and sat down next to his friend.
"I think you're going to be just fine Ron…" said Harry.
"Yeah I know..." said Ron sounding a bit more re-assured.
Hermione left for the doctor at four the next day, as soon as her classes were over. Ron arrived in Harry's room around room around four thirty and he, Harry and Ginny had been waiting there for almost two hours. Harry had asked Kreacher to bring them up some dinner, because he knew they would never get Ron down to the Great Hall, and now a mostly uneaten plate of roast beef sandwiches was sitting on the table. Ron had been anxiously pacing the length of the room for the past half hour and after while Ginny got fed up.
"Ron will you please sit down, your pacing is making me twice as nervous!" she snapped.
"I can't Ginny... if I sit still I feel like I'm going to explode!" said Ron tensely.
Harry was unsure what to do for his poor friend. He was almost about to suggest Ron play a game of wizard chess with him, all the while knowing Ron would probably say no. When suddenly the portrait swung open revealing a beaming Hermione. Ron ran to her as fast as he could and put his arms around her.
"How did it go?" he said quickly.
"The charm was wrong! I'm not pregnant!" she said excitedly.
The three of them stood there in shock for a moment and then Ron let out a yell of relief and happiness as he picked Hermione up and spun her around in a circle.
"Yes, the Doctor explained that false positives are very rare with the spell, but they can happen if a person had been through a particularly bad emotional upheaval." explained Hermione with a smile.
Ginny let out a deep sigh of relief and went over to hug Hermione, while Harry jumped up to do the same, and also to pat Ron on the back.
"See? I told you both that everything would be ok..." said Harry.
"Yes, but I'm not exactly sure this is what you meant." teased Hermione.
Harry shrugged non-commitedly and they all laughed.
'You know… I think I might be just the tiniest bit disappointed." said Ron as they all moved to take seats around the fire.
Hermione, who had been settling herself in next to Ron comfortably, looked up at him as though he had completely lost his mind.
"You're what??" she said.
"Well of course I'm very happy that you're not pregnant. We're not ready yet, but this whole situation, and thinking about a baby. Has made me realize that I really want one… later." said Ron with a smile.
Hermione gave him a hug and beamed at him adoringly.