Chapter 11 – Retreat
I opened the bathroom door and Brittany almost fell to the ground as she was previously leaning against it. "I'm sorry, Brit. I didn't mean to do that" I said softly as I helped the blonde to get up. "It's alright. Are you feeling better now? What happened?" She asked with her sincere blue eyes staring right into mine. I really wish I could drown in that blue ocean and poured out all of my secrets to her, but I can't.
"Yeah I'm okay. Just nightmare." I answered while withdrawing from the intense eye contact. I made my way out of the bedroom to the front door without saying anything else and she followed. Before I open the front door, she pulled my wrist and I turned around to face her. "San, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything. I really wish I can help to relieve you from your sorrow." She softly said out the words, it almost sounded like a whimper.
I tried hard to fight back tears, because I knew if I cry in front of her, she would be even more worried than now. I turned my back towards her and opened the door. "It's just my personal issues, you don't have to care." I said with a harsh tone, trying to prevent my voice from cracking. Then she watched me go, not knowing that I have tears streaming down my face.
Few days after the nightmare incident, Brittany left some texts and voicemails but I didn't attend to any of them. I'm trying to sort my life out; I need to know whether being together with Brittany is safe for her. Every time she came to my apartment and knocked on my door, I wanted to answer so badly but I can't. Ignoring her is bringing in pain on me, because I love her so much. It's strange that my feelings for her have grown so strong over these few days. Maybe this is what humans call true love.
I gave myself two options. Number one, I compel Brittany to forget about me and leave this town to continue my Vampire life. Number two, stay here and continue loving Brittany. As well as fighting against the past and the lust. The one that I want the most is definitely the latter. But am I strong enough to do it? What if I fail? I can't bear the consequences of history repeating itself. While I was debating with myself in my mind, I sub-consciously answered my phone when it was ringing. "Hello?"
"San, where are you! Where have you been this few days? I miss you, can I meet you now? Please?" the angelic voice at the other side of the line sounded so worried, I felt as if an invisible knife just stabbed right into my heart. "I'm sorry, Brittany. I'm at home, you can come over." I decided not to ignore the blonde anymore. She doesn't deserve to get ignored, I have to make a choice now and do it. "Okay, I just ended my class. I will be over in 5." And then she hung up on me and I went to my kitchen and started brewing coffee.
While I was sipping on my second cup of coffee, I heard knocks on my front door and went to open it. Just right after the door was opened; Brittany pulled me into her embrace and held me tight. "You got me so worried, San." I withdrew slowly from the embrace and intertwined our hands and signaled her to sit down on the couch with me, she followed.
She studied me for a while and decided to ask the question that has been on her mind for the past few days. "San, please tell me what happened?" I ignored her question and pulled her in for a kiss. Normally our kisses are passionate and full of love, but this time round it brought me heartaches.
Because I thought that it would be the last kiss for us as I'm retreating from this love.