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A Losing Game
Chapter 11
He had known Sora since he was seven. It was the first day of school, and he had mistakenly thought she was a boy. To this day, she claimed that he had traumatised her, but he knew she only said it to make him feel bad. At first, his seven-year-old self was disgusted at the prospect of befriending a girl, but the thought was soon disregarded when he introduced her to soccer. It was the sport that made them become so close. She was athletic like him, and he had been intrigued that such a girl existed.
One day when they were twelve, she suddenly decided to quit soccer and take up tennis. He had been nothing less of horrified. How she could find it in herself to give up the greatest game in the world for such a secondary, inferior hobby that barely qualified as a sport was beyond him. It was with this decision of hers that the two of them had begun to drift a little. It wasn't that they didn't like each other anymore; Sora just began gaining new interests while his interests remained the same. Soccer had always been the median for which they saw each other on a daily basis, and with it gone, it was more difficult to stay close. The years they shared the same class, they were closer. The years they didn't, they weren't. Life just worked that way. However, for the past three years, they had always been put in the same class, and their friendship had gone back to how it was when they were younger. He saw her strictly as his friend, and for the longest time, he thought she felt the same.
After eleven years of knowing her and denying her of her sex and her appeal, Tai finally decided today that Sora was indeed pretty. And all it had really taken was a slight wind from an open window that blew her skirt a little higher up her legs.
"You look nice."
She looked at him pleasantly and took her seat beside his. "Thank you, Tai. That's really sweet of you." However, her smile quickly dissolved upon seeing the book on his desk, open to the second page. "You didn't read for class today, did you?"
He laughed sheepishly. "I got a little preoccupied over the weekend. We won, by the way."
"So I heard. I'd congratulate you, but what exactly are you planning to do if we get a pop quiz?"
"Cheat off your paper, of course."
"Tai!"
He laughed again, knowing Sora would let him despite her disapproval. She always did.
Anyway, he had far more pressing matters on his hands. That, and there was no way he could possibly read the first six chapters of A Tale of Two Cities in the next few minutes when he wasn't even six paragraphs into it.
He, Tai Kamiya, was having weird, mixed feelings towards Sora.
Whether he liked her or whether he merely missed having her around as his friend, he wasn't quite sure yet.
"Hey Sora, you have tennis practice today, right?"
She nodded.
"Great! I have soccer practice."
She looked confused at his enthusiasm.
"Er, what I'm saying is that I wasn't planning to stay very long today, so we should do something afterwards."
It was a lie. He knew Coach would kill him if he found out that he'd skip his extra training for something as unimportant as hanging out with a friend, but he was sure he wouldn't get caught.
She winced. "I'm so sorry, Tai, but I can't. Matt has band practice today, so we were going to meet up afterwards and get an early dinner." She paused. "But you're welcome to join us, if you'd like."
He wasn't dense enough to not pick up on the uninviting tone of her invitation, not that he would have taken her up on her offer had he not. Disappointed, he rejected her and looked back down at his book to try and think of another method, but he couldn't think of one that wouldn't include Matt slithering his way in there.
Not that he should have been doing anything like that in the first place. She had a boyfriend, and her boyfriend just happened to be a friend of his too.
However, he countered with himself, he wasn't technically making a pass at her, so it was innocent. He was merely trying to spend time with her as her friend. After all, they had hung out just the two of them countless times over the years, and it had never been considered inappropriate before.
But, he thought again, this time there were underlying, not-so-innocent reasons behind him wanting to hang out with her. Was it wrong? Was it wrong of him to try to get her alone so he could decide whether he liked her or not?
Of course it was! Before anything else, this was Matt's girlfriend he was thinking about, and Matt was his friend. He couldn't do something like that to him. It would break every code of law of friendship that ever existed.
Yes, except, really, Sora had been his friend first.
Argh, this was confusing.
"Kamiya?"
"Huh? What?" He looked up in confusion as several students laughed.
From the front of the classroom, Mr Mizumi frowned. "Mr Kamiya, are you trying to be funny? A simple 'here' will suffice."
Class had somehow started without him noticing, and he quickly apologised and looked over to Sora, who was shaking her head at his inattentiveness.
As Mr Mizumi continued down his attendance sheet, he wondered if she harboured any feelings for him still. Given how nonchalantly she had accepted his compliment earlier with little reaction, he could assume that she didn't, but it wasn't like he had been able to pick up on any of her signs when she had supposedly liked him anyway.
She suddenly turned to make eye contact with him, mouthing a silent, confused, "What?"
He realised he had been staring, and, flustered and caught in the moment, he awkwardly shook his head and turned to stare straight ahead. From the corner of his eye, he could see that Sora was still looking at him, but he pretended not to notice until she too looked away.
"Davis, give it up already. It's never going to happen. Not in this lifetime or the next or the next!"
"Hey, at least Kari isn't completely disgusted by me the way Ken feels about you!"
Tai was surprised that the evil glares Davis and Yolei gave each other didn't cause the other to explode on the very spot.
"First of all, you're only saying that because you're trying to get back at me for telling you the truth about your sad little life. Secondly, that is not true!"
"He's my friend, Yolei. I know him way better than you do!"
"Well, Kari's my friend, and I'm telling you that she thinks you're a worthless piece of scum!"
"She is not 'your' friend. I was her friend before you even knew who she was! She's my friend!"
Tai cleared his throat to indicate that he was still in their presence. "Both of you need to calm down. Davis, let's go."
"Hold on, Tai," Davis growled, eyes still pointing daggers at Yolei. "Unlike you, Kari isn't a total bitch, so she'd never say anything like that about me even if she did think it!"
"Ha! So you admit there's a chance she'd feel that way about you! Ha, you idiot! Ha!"
"I never said that!"
"And just wait until I tell Kari you called me a bitch! She'll hate you even more!"
"She doesn't hate me, and she probably already thinks the same thing!"
"Ooh, I'm telling her you said she said I was a bitch! You're in for it now, Davis. She'll never talk to you ag—"
"I nev—"
"Stop yelling," Tai interrupted authoritatively, putting up an arm between them. "Kari's never said anything like that about either of you you, so stop having this meaningless fight, and let's go to practice. We're going to be late."
"Hmph!" Yolei huffed, grumbling to herself as she turned her heel and stormed off.
Davis gave Yolei's backside one more hateful glare before he began to walk alongside Tai, also fuming.
"Did Ken really say that about Yolei?" Tai asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. "He's meaner than I thought."
"No," Davis grumbled, "but I'm sure he thinks it. She's absolutely mad. You'd have to have some serious psychological problems to date anyone like that. She's kidding herself if she thinks she has a chance with someone like him. He's just too nice to say anything to her, so I'm doing him a favour by telling it to her like it is." He kicked a wrinkled ball of paper on the hallway floor. "Who the hell does she think she is anyway? Kari would never say that about me…"
Tai rolled his eyes.
Davis' affection for Kari had been endearing when they were younger, but now Tai thought it was crossing into the pathetic territory. Kari was still in that stage of her life where she thought her idealistic Prince Charming would sweep her off her feet and ride off to the sunset with her.
He was fairly certain she didn't consider Davis her Prince Charming.
Not that he was necessarily complaining. As far as he was concerned, the later Kari showed interest in her suitors, the better.
Davis sighed dramatically. "Tai, you're her brother. Tell me the truth. Do you think I have a shot with her?"
"Er…" he stalled. "We don't really talk about things like that. But you know, from what I hear, there's a girl from your English class who has a liking for you."
Davis scowled. "Who cares? Unless that girl is Kari, I'm not interested."
Poor sap indeed.
"Look, no offence, but don't you think you should look elsewhere? I feel like Kari would have let you know by now if she did like you."
Davis sighed again. "As long as she isn't seeing anyone else, everything's fair game." He suddenly grinned. "Besides, wouldn't it be awesome if Kari and I got married, and the two of us became family?"
Tai could think of several things that would not be "awesome" about that.
First, he'd heard Davis' locker room talk. Hell, he'd taken part in them. Such crass and uncouth words did not belong anywhere near his innocent little sister.
Second, Davis' own sister. He really didn't need her anywhere near his sister or his family or him.
Third and most importantly, his sister was fifteen. She shouldn't have even begun to think about marriage yet.
"Shut up," Tai shot down harshly. Davis looked shocked at his sudden response, so he added, "I mean you're both still young. There's no need to think so far into the future."
"Yeah, but I've liked Kari for years!" the younger player protested, Tai's cover-up being good enough for him to return to normal. "I can't give up on her just because she doesn't see me the same way! I mean, maybe I do annoy her sometimes like Yolei says I do, but don't you think it's better that I let Kari see how much I care for her instead of just sitting around and waiting for something to happen?"
Tai felt a headache approaching, beginning to regret having bumped into Davis and Yolei arguing in the middle of the hallway. He didn't realise that stopping would mean he'd turn into some sort of therapist.
"I'm sorry. Is it weird to talk about your sister to me?"
"Yes, very weird," Tai answered immediately.
Davis took the hint and stopped talking, though it appeared that he was now pouting.
They walked from the main building towards the soccer team's changing room, and it was there they saw his aforementioned sister sitting on a bench.
"Kari? What're you doing here?"
She looked up with a smile and held out a wrapped silk bundle to him as she stood up. "Tai, I made this for you yesterday, but I forgot to give it to you this morning."
He took it confusedly.
"They're granola-based biscuits," she explained. "I found a healthy recipe in one of Mum's books. It said these are good source of energy for athletes."
He instantly grew touched by his little sister's gesture. "Thanks, Kar. I'll be sure to eat all of them."
He took a glance at Davis, who was staring at Kari with hopeful eyes.
"Hi Davis," Kari greeted nicely.
"Hi Kari!" he exclaimed loudly, taking a step forward. "You didn't… by any chance… make me… anything… too…?"
She continued to smile kindly at him. "I'm sorry, Davis. I didn't, but maybe you could ask Tai to share. I'm sure he would."
Tai's guilt was reinforced, knowing his sister had just hurt his teammate's feelings. He wondered if Kari knew it too.
"Are you going home?" Tai asked to change the subject.
Kari shook her head. "Nope. TK and I have a class presentation tomorrow, so I'm going over to his place to make sure we have everything set."
"You're going to TK's?" Davis cried.
"Is his mum home?" Tai asked in unison.
"She isn't, but we're going there so we can hang out with Yolei and Cody afterwards. You two should come over too after practice!"
"That's kind of weird, isn't it? His mum isn't even home. Why don't you two just go to the library?"
Kari looked puzzled by Tai's suggestion. "Because we're practising for a presentation, and we aren't allowed to talk in the library."
"Why don't you go to our place then since our mum is home?"
"Because we're going to hang out with Yolei and Cody later, so it makes more sense to go to his place since they live in the same flat complex."
"Why don't you go do the presentation at our place, and then just walk over to his place? It isn't that far, and—"
"You're going to TK's?" Davis interrupted loudly. "Kari, you aren't… you aren't… you and TK aren't…"
She giggled. "Don't be so silly, Davis. We're just going to do homework. TK and I are only friends. Just like you and me."
Ouch.
He wasn't completely sure when and how Kari had learned to be so cheeky, but he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He certainly didn't want his little sister to grow up to be some sort of heartbreaking tease.
"Anyway, I should leave you two to business," she said with a wave. "Good luck, you guys! Hope practice goes well!"
Davis waved even as she was already walking away, and Tai looked at him piteously.
"You can have some," he offered, holding up the package in his hand.
Davis sighed, turning to the locker room door. "Whatever, it wasn't for me anyway. As long as she isn't seeing TK, I'm fine."
"You don't like him?" Tai queried, wondering how anybody could not like someone as unassuming as TK.
"That isn't it. I just don't like him with Kari," Davis explained absentmindedly. His tone seemed distracted, though his frown was firm. He groaned. "Man, I still can't believe I wasn't put into the same class as Kari this year! High school freaking blows." He threw the door of the changing room open, not even bothering to hold it a second longer for his senior. "I hate it. He's in the same class as her, while I'm stuck with a bunch of stupid kids I don't even know. If the two of them get together, I swear I'll kill myself."
Tai smirked at his dramatics, his amusement from Davis' frustration overpowering his annoyance from his disrespect. "If it makes you feel any better, as her brother I'm obligated to say the same thing."
Davis instantly brightened. "Right? They'd be awful together, right? I'd be better for her, right? Team Davis, right?"
He ignored every question. "So let's just say they really do get together. What would you do? You'd actually kill yourself?"
"Of course not," Davis snapped heatedly, once again forgetting who he was talking to. "I'd obviously just have to break them up."
He chuckled uneasily. "Are you serious? That's a little harsh… and insane."
Davis looked crestfallen. "No, I couldn't do that to her… At least, I don't think I could. It'd have to really happen for me to decide, but it doesn't matter because they won't ever get together. I'm sure of it."
Tai put on a stern face and crossed his arms against his chest for effect. "So let me see if I get this. Are you telling me right now that your happiness is so much more important than hers that you'd be willing to interfere with her hypothetical relationship?"
Davis looked horrified. "Of course not! I'd much rather Kari be happy than me, honest! I just… Not him. It just can't be him." He looked down. "I swear, I wouldn't be able to deal with it."
Tai had merely brought up the scenario for fun, but he was beginning to see that Davis was taking it way more seriously than he thought he would.
"I was only kidding, Davis. I'm sure you'd do the right thing if it came down to it."
"You think I'm horrible, don't you?" Davis muttered. "After all, TK's my friend too. Only a real jerk would think like this."
"Hey, you're human," Tai dismissed with a shrug. "By the way, as her brother, I'm also obligated to forbid you from interfering with her happiness."
"What? I thought you said you were Team Davis!"
"I never said that," he said simply before he walked over to his locker to change.
He wasn't on Team Davis or Team TK. He was on Team Kari, and for now he didn't want either of the boys to win.
"She punched me with a ring on." Akita pulled up his jersey sleeve to show a small, purple-coloured bruise on his bicep. "Hurt like a bitch."
"Whipped," Tai concluded.
He rolled his sleeve back down. "I'm not whipped. I just like getting some."
"Whatever. You got punched by a girl and bruised. Not only are you whipped, but you're a weak little pansy too."
Coach had once again forced Akita to train with him, but this time Akita had thoughtfully lied to his girlfriend about it beforehand.
However, ten minutes in, both boys were still simply sitting on the field, using Kari's biscuits as an excuse to not yet begin.
"This stuff is amazing," Akita complimented, stuffing another into his mouth. "No wonder Motomiya is all over your sister. If it meant she'd bake for me all the time, I'd date her."
Tai frowned.
What was with underqualified blokes showing interest in Kari?
"You aren't allowed to date her."
"Why not? Better me than Motomiya. At least I'm useful to this team." Akita grinned mischievously, poking Tai with his elbow. "Not to mention that I'm older and more experienced. Kamiya, I would rock your sister's world."
Tai slammed his fist into Akita's bruise, resulting in his teammate howling in pain.
"What the hell?" he groaned, grasping his arm. "That was the cheapest shot you could've done!"
"Want to bet?"
Akita grumbled unhappily and reached for the last biscuit, but Tai quickly swiped it first and ignored the responsive slew of profanities, popping it in his mouth. He would have given it to him too if it weren't for the fact he was being such an ass.
He wiped his hand on the napkin Kari had included and stared at the empty pitch, a lone soccer ball placed in the midfield, unsuccessfully beckoning his name.
None of it appealed to him. He could think of a million things he'd rather do than more soccer.
"Tired?" Akita queried knowingly.
"A little bit."
"Then let's bunk."
Tai frowned at Akita, who looked back hopefully.
"Coach will never find out. It isn't like he's strapped some sort of tracking device on us." Akita lifted a brow. "Or has he already done that with you?"
"No, he just trusts that I'll stay."
He rolled his eyes. "Whipped."
Tai shot him an unappreciative glare and stood up. "All right, let's start then."
Akita groaned as he forced himself up too, but then his sour expression changed to a mischievous grin. "Hey, wait a sec. It's Takenouchi."
Tai didn't turn around. "Yeah, whatever. What do you want to do first?"
Akita ignored Tai, raising an arm to wave. "Sora Takenouchi, what're you doing here?"
"To see you two, obviously."
His eyes widened as the familiar sound of her voice indicated that Akita was not merely fooling around, and he turned to see Sora standing at the edge of the field.
"Sora," he said in mild surprise. "What're you doing here?"
"I just asked her that," Akita pointed out under his breath.
"Matt's band practice was extended, and there wasn't anything he could do about it," Sora explained with a shrug. "I thought since you said you were going to end practice early today, you could be my backup date, but I guess you're still at it?"
'Backup date.'
He didn't like the sound of that, but he couldn't dwell on it because Akita spoke up.
"Actually, we—"
"—were just finishing up," Tai finished, nudging him quiet.
Akita gave him a perplexed look.
"Oh, that's perfect. Want to grab some dinner? It's been such a long time since the three of us hung out together."
"We just ate—"
He spoke over Akita's quieter voice. "Sounds great! Give us a minute to change?"
He felt a hard tap on his shoulder.
"Kamiya, a word."
Tai pushed Akita towards the locker rooms and once he was sure they had walked enough to where Sora couldn't hear them anymore, he looked seriously at his teammate.
"Yeah, I need you to not come with us."
Akita once again looked bewildered. "I thought you said you weren't interested in her."
"I'm not. I thought you said you wanted to skip practice."
Akita narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Didn't you tell me the other day that she has a boyfriend?"
"Yes, but he has nothing to do with this. Tell Sora you can't go with us."
"Why should I?"
"Because then I'll tell your girlfriend that you lied to her about practice today, and instead you spent it thinking about my sister. I have her number, by the way. She called me last Friday."
"You're full of cheap shots today, aren't you?" Akita frowned. "I didn't want to go anyway, but what's so important that you're willing to cancel your precious extra training? And that you're trying to blackmail me into not going?"
"None of your business. Just do it."
Akita looked at Tai for any trace of emotion or change in expression, but he maintained his impassive demeanour.
"All right, have it your way. Just don't do anything dumb, Kamiya. I'm not going to pick up the pieces if you do."
"Tai, I really think you need to invest in a hairdryer."
"Sora, I really think you need to stop becoming Mimi."
She rolled her eyes. "All the better for you, right? You said she's a nine out of ten."
"What? I never said that." He furrowed his brow, genuinely unable to recall a time he had ever said it.
"Last year at our anniversary. You told Yolei I was a six, and then you said Mimi was a nine. Don't try to hide it, Tai. She told me."
Oh.
He vaguely remembered saying something along those lines, but it was under completely unfair circumstances. One, he had been a little drunk and would've said anything. Two, Mimi had purposely dressed up that night to prove that she could get Joe or Izzy or somebody to do as she pleased, and it wasn't his fault that the combination of tight dresses, alcohol and teenage hormones had impaired his judgment.
"I never said that," he repeated firmly. "I think you're prettier than Mimi. Maybe I said she's a six and you're a nine, and Yolei got confused."
She didn't falter. "Don't even try to save yourself, Tai. I know you said it, you jerk."
He frowned but didn't have a chance to defend himself, as they had reached the designated restaurant and, to his horror, Sora reached for the door.
He jutted forward to grab the handle before she could, opening it for her.
"Jesus, Sora, let me open the door for you!"
She looked at him, puzzled, as if he had never opened the door for her before, which he had.
"What?"
"It's just a door, Tai," she said as she walked past him and into the restaurant. "Anyway, it's okay if you said I was a six because I told Yolei that you were a five."
He stopped walking. "A five? Are you serious? I'm a five?"
She unsuccessfully tried to hide a smirk.
"What the hell? At least I had the courtesy of ranking you in the upper half!"
She shrugged. "She told me to tell the truth, so I told her the truth. Where do you want to sit?"
His frown deepened, even though he knew she was lying and that it was only a stupid question that didn't mean anything.
"What'd you rank Matt?"
"Ten, obviously."
"You gave me a five and him a ten?"
He couldn't believe this.
Of all the insulting—
"Tai, come on. It's Matt. Who wouldn't rank him a ten?"
"I sure as hell wouldn't," he muttered.
He didn't notice her smirk widen as she pushed him into their usual booth before sitting across from him, nor did he notice that he had started to grumble under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear.
"Anyway, get whatever you want to eat. I'll pay for you since I still owe you for the time at the yakai tent."
His train of thought was again shifted back to her with her suggestion. "Sora, no!"
She looked puzzled again.
"I know we're friends and all, but I'm a guy too. Don't damage my pride by opening the door or telling me I'm a five or paying for my dinner! I'll pay. Really, it isn't a big deal."
Okay, perhaps now she had a reason to be confused. He rarely ever paid for her in the years that they had known each other, save the odd cheap snack or so, but she often spotted him too.
"Sora, I have so much money. I want to spend it."
She laughed at his joke. "Wow, Tai. I didn't realise you were so rich. You'd make a good boyfriend."
"Don't tell me Matt's the kind of guy who makes you pay for your own food." He smirked, secretly pleased that Matt wasn't as perfect as she thought he was.
"No, he isn't like that at all." She sighed and lowered her voice. "But if I'm being completely honest with you, I don't really like that he pays. It makes me feel really bad. I'd rather split costs, you know?"
"You'd make a good girlfriend."
She laughed once more, and they spent the rest of the dinner to catch up on each other's lives, stopping only to talk to their waitress when necessary.
"This is nice," Sora brought up suddenly. "We haven't really had a chance to talk a lot in the past month or so."
"Yeah, I guess not," he agreed, though in reality he hadn't really noticed.
She crossed her arms in feigned irritation. "It's all your fault, you know. If you weren't so obsessed with soccer…"
"How funny. I think it's more because you have a boyfriend now. I've been playing soccer since I was old enough to walk. Your relationship started about a month ago, did it not?"
She seemed to think it over before she winced.
"You're right. I'm really sorry, Tai."
He found himself unexpectedly feeling guilty over how she was feeling guilty and, burdened, felt the need to lighten the atmosphere.
"You know what else you should be sorry for?"
"What?"
"That you ranked me as a five and Matt as a ten. You realise the fact that you're telling me he's a ten while you're dating him is extremely gross and makes me very uncomfortable, right?"
She laughed. "Tai, I can't believe you're still thinking about that!"
"I said you were a six!"
"Yeah, and that Mimi was a nine!"
"Fine, I take it back then."
"You can't do that. It's too late. You're only going to rank me higher because you want me to change my mind too."
"Hmph, who said anything about ranking you higher? You're now a four, and Mimi's an eleven."
"It's out of ten, Tai."
"She's beyond a ten. That's how hot she is."
"Well then, why don't you ask her out?"
His eyes widened at the mere suggestion. "Because why would I ever do that to myself? This is supposed to be a ranking of hotness, not a ranking of compatibility. Unlike you, I'm not shallow, so I look past physical appearances."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, because Nanami and Kaori are prime examples of ugly girls with beautiful personalities."
"Nanami's personality was fine," Tai protested, "but I'll give you Kaori. That one was a mistake."
"'That one'? Tai, you're talking about a human being! You are such a—"
She continued to lecture him, and while this was usually how their little arguments would start, this time he found himself more amused by her irritation than anything else.
"—I mean, how would it make you feel if somebody referred to you as if you were some sort of object?"
"Bad," he answered dismissively. "By the way, just wondering, does Matt know you're out with me right now?"
She frowned at his sudden change in subject. "Yes, why?"
He shrugged.
"I mean, it's a little weird, isn't it? I know we're friends, and I know Matt and I are friends too, but it's still a little weird to hang out with you now. I just wanted to make sure he knew."
"Tai, I cannot even believe you're saying this to me right now."
She looked visibly upset, setting down her fork and straightening her back as she frowned at him.
"What? You don't think this is just the tiniest bit weird?"
"Not at all!" she replied vehemently. "We've been friends since we were in primary school, and you're telling me now that it's weird to hang out with me because I have a boyfriend?"
He shrugged. "Lots of guys wouldn't be okay with that."
"Well, that's the difference between them and Matt. You're too good of a friend of mine, Tai. If Matt couldn't accept that, I couldn't be with him."
He was pleased with her response, but he forced himself not to show it on his face.
"Tai, promise me you won't ever think like that again."
He didn't say anything not because he didn't want to promise her, but because he was thinking.
He had spent the weekend thinking about it. He had spent the day trying to get her alone so he could confirm it for himself.
Did he like her? Did she still like him?
He had to know.
"You know what, Sor? I think Matt got extremely lucky to get a girl like you."
He didn't even blink, watching for her reaction.
She grew flustered and red—redder than he had ever seen her get by anything he had ever said to her before.
Was it because she was flattered?
Or was it because she was still interested in him?
"Shut up, Tai. Eat your dinner."
With that, she picked up her fork once again and began to pick at the bites of food she had already claimed earlier that she wouldn't eat.
He blinked, confused.
She had avoided commenting altogether.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
He hadn't a clue.
He walked her home despite her protests, and he found himself feeling a little bad once again because she had made such a big deal about it.
Was it also that rare for him to walk her home?
It wasn't even that much farther away than his own home.
"This was nice, Sor," he said when they reached the front door of her flat complex.
The same spot he had seen Matt and her a month prior.
She turned to face him and nodded. "It really was. We should do this more often. Make time for me, Tai."
He grinned. "Deal."
She outstretched her hand. "Shake on it."
He chuckled and placed his own over hers.
Her hand was warm, and he didn't let go.
"Tai, what's wrong?"
He looked at her quizzically, not understanding what she was talking about.
"Your hand is shaking." She frowned and abruptly let go of his hand. "I knew it! You're still pushing yourself, aren't you? What if I hadn't come today, Tai? Would you still be at that stupid soccer field?"
His hand tingled with the absence of her touch, and he rolled his fingers into a fist before placing it in his blazer pocket.
He hadn't even realised it was shaking.
"I wasn't. Akita and I were just hanging out after practice. We weren't doing anything."
It was true. They had planned to train more, but aside from his regular, obligatory practice with the rest of the squad, he hadn't really done anything extra.
"Maybe I have an iron deficiency," he joked.
She didn't look amused.
He took out his hand from his pocket once more, opening his palm to her. "See? It's stopped."
Her expression didn't change, so he began to shake his hand violently.
"Tai!" she hissed, though he could tell she was also trying to suppress laughter.
"Go on up," he suggested, bringing his arm back to his side.
"You're so impossible!" Her voice seemed frustrated, but her light expression stated otherwise. "Fine, good night, Tai."
"Good night."
She pulled him into a hug, something she had done hundreds of times, yet this one felt different. He was rendered speechless, stiffening as another panicked feeling rushed through his system. The feeling was so foreign he couldn't even make out what it meant.
Sora didn't seem to notice. She pulled away, wished him a safe walk home and disappeared inside. He was left at the doorstep, frozen still.
He stood like that for a good minute until it came to him what the feeling was, and he found it wasn't so foreign after all.
It was guilt.
It wasn't the most guilty he'd ever felt before, but it was the first time his guilt had been directed to something like this.
He did like Sora—more than a friend.
She had a boyfriend, Matt.
But his guilt wasn't due to the fact that he was returning his taken friend's feelings a month too late, nor was it necessarily the fact that he was interested in his friend's girlfriend.
It was the fact that he selfishly didn't care.
He had always been the type of person who did things his own way. Others followed him, and that was fine with him as long as they didn't try to alter his goals. He was a leader and a go-getter, and once he set his mind on something, he did whatever it took to achieve it. He knew people had a tendency to think he was lacking in the brain department, but the way he looked at it, he was merely selective. Up until he entered high school, he had been terrible at economics because he hadn't cared about it, but when he found out he needed to raise his scores in order to stay on the soccer team, by the end of the term he had one of the highest grades in his class—even higher than Sora's. It was why he was able to receive scholarship offers where his teammates couldn't. He hadn't been born a good footballer; he had worked for it. Yes, he had to sacrifice a lot to get to this point. His love life had been non-existent for the past year, his diet was painfully void of his favourite foods, his friends were annoyed of his lack of presence—but it would all be worth it. This was his dream. In five years, he wouldn't remember the girl he could've dated, or what he had for dinner, or what party his friends had attended that he hadn't.
So for anybody else, he would have pushed the emotion aside without another thought. It was dangerously selfish and disturbingly wrong, crossing over so many levels of immoral.
But this was Sora.
Granted, she had changed from the tomboyish girl he had once known. He missed that girl and all that she was, but current-day Sora wasn't so bad either. And she liked him!
Well, at least, he hoped she still did.
The only thing that stood in his way was Matt Ishida, and as much of an arse as it made him, he couldn't bring it upon himself to feel bad for what he was going to do to him.
After all, this was Sora.
He knew her better than Matt ever wished he could.
He raised an eyebrow at his younger brother. He had come over to TK's flat to drop off a book he had borrowed, only to run into him outside his flat door, a large, red stain covering the front of his school uniform. There were even traces of it on his hair and skin. TK claimed he had come from Cody's flat, but it still didn't explain the stain.
"Davis accidentally spilled a jar of salsa on me," TK answered, making his way to the linen closet.
"Accidentally?" Matt queried. "Or 'accidentally'?" He held up his fingers as inverted commas.
"Maybe on accident, probably on purpose," TK guessed with a shrug.
Matt rolled his eyes. "That kid…"
"He's jealous because Kari and I have a presentation together." TK tousled the towel through his hair before rubbing it against his face and neck. "He just wanted to hang out with Kari tonight without me being in the way, so it isn't a big deal. He's harmless."
"I don't care if it's harmless. It still makes him an arse."
TK grinned a little as he disappeared into his room, presumably to change, so Matt took a bottle of water from the refrigerator and situated himself on the dining table as he waited.
"You shouldn't let him do things like that to you."
TK walked out again, now in a plain white t-shirt. "I know he's a little immature, but he's still my friend. He does passive-aggressive things like this sometimes, but he's usually not like this so it's nothing to get bent out of shape over. Kari told me he's been having a really rough time on the soccer team too, and you know he doesn't handle stress that well. It'd be worse if I got angry."
"I guess you're just more patient than I am," Matt concluded. "Anyway, I've never seen anyone work so hard to fend off guys from a girl who isn't even his girlfriend."
"That's Davis for you." TK sat across from him, sighing contently at his newly dry state. "Speaking of girlfriends, how's Sora?"
"She's having dinner with Tai."
TK raised an eyebrow. "Nice."
"They're friends."
"I didn't say anything." He smiled.
"I'm not jealous."
"I didn't say anything." His smile widened.
"Your facial expressions are talking for you," Matt said irritably. Unlike himself, TK wasn't really any good at concealing how he truly felt. He wasn't particularly talkative either, but Matt could read him like a book.
He let out a small laugh. "I'm sorry. It's just that you were so worried about him before you two started dating, but I told you they were just friends."
"I wasn't worried. I just took him into consideration."
"You took everything into consideration," TK corrected. "Anyway, you two are together now, so everything worked out. I'm glad."
"Yeah."
Matt felt he owed a lot to his brother. TK easily knew him better than any of his other friends, and Matt found that the baby brother he once thought TK was had grown into the only person who truly understood him. Furthermore, he couldn't help but think that without TK's help, he'd still be pursuing his girlfriend. Even though TK had been so awkward about it, he had genuinely tried his best to get Matt and Sora together, and his friendlier, more sociable personality had often filled the void that Matt couldn't get past. He had liked her for a few weeks before he gathered the courage to say anything, and really it had been TK who convinced him to talk to her at that one party he had forced Matt to go to. TK also admitted to essentially dragging Sora backstage at his concert, not to mention that horribly awkward albeit successful attempt to get everyone else to play billiards in order to get them two alone. Matt had told himself that night that he would scold TK for that little number, but he dismissed the thought when it also turned out to be the night Sora finally agreed to go out with him.
"Hey," TK said suddenly. "Want to stay for dinner? Mum'll be home soon. It'll be fun."
TK looked quite excited at the suggestion, which only made it harder for Matt to reject him.
"I can't. If I don't cook for Dad, he'll starve." He looked at the clock on the wall. "Come to think of it, I should probably leave now. Thanks for the book again, and we'll do dinner soon."
"Oh. Okay. It's no problem." TK stood up after Matt and began to walk behind him towards the door. "Tell Dad I said hello."
"I will. Are you going back up to Cody's?"
TK smiled lightly. "I don't think so. I have to shower and do homework and stuff, so I'll give this one to Davis."
Matt shook his head and rolled his eyes. Davis was a nice kid, but he'd be lying if he said his antics didn't bother him at times. He tangled himself too much in other people's business, got too upset when things didn't work in his favour.
Anyway, Davis could consider himself lucky to have selected his milder brother as his rival rather than Matt.
"Bye," TK said, waving.
Matt nodded and closed the door behind him before taking out his mobile on the way to the elevator.
No new messages.
Sora was most likely back home already. She was probably tired from tennis practice or busy studying for her quiz the next day and had just forgotten to let him know she had made it back. She couldn't possibly still be with Tai after so many hours.
Not that it mattered, because he wasn't jealous.
He wasn't.
He wasn't.
He put his mobile back in his pocket and tried to force himself to think about something else.
He'd call her later.
This chapter marks where the story really begins. Even though this is a Taiora fic, it was always planned to centre around Tai. I'm glad it only took three years to get it to this point, ha. Most of the story so far has been in Sora's POV, but starting now, we'll be seeing much more of Tai's thoughts—as well as a few other supporting characters'!
Hint-of-a-spoiler warning: Please be patient with Tai's character. In a story where the main character is chasing a taken woman, there is no real way of not making him at least a little bit of a jerk. I'm so nervous he'll be ill-received!
The Takari/Daikari bit is just for comparison reasons. They won't be featured much at all.