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Numbness. That was all that Katara had felt since she had read Zuko's last letter. It had not even been a full day before that another had arrived telling her not to worry. She did not even have time to write a reply before the news arrived. She could not remember packing her things. She could not remember boarding the Water Tribe ship she was now on. She could not remember the past three days that she had spent on the ship, nor the faces or names of the people that were on board with her. All she could think about at all was Shuchun and the pain that she must be going through. Katara knew what it was like to lose a parent.
Katara now stood at the edge of the Water Tribe ship's gangplank waiting for it to land on the dock below. The three day trip seemed to take almost no time at all, but the walk down that little wooden board felt like forever and an age. She had to get to the Fire Lord's palace. That was where she would find Shuchun, hopefully not alone in her feelings of loss.
Of course she won't be alone, Katara thought to herself as she quickened her pace. Zuko would never allow it, and Iroh will be with her.
The capital city streets were crowded as usual. The people were all pushing about their daily lives, probably unaware of the refugees that were among them. Or perhaps they simply ignored the refugees in order to get on with their work. Thanks to her travels in earlier years, Katara could easily spot a refugee at a single glance. The strange thing was, no one that was on the streets that day looked as though they had been through any hardships let alone lost everything that they owned in a raid.
Upon reaching the palace gates, Katara marveled once again at the sheer size of the palace. It was enough to stand alongside Earth King Kuei's palace now that the construction had been finished. Elegant dragons of red and gold decorated the palace gates where the guards let her in. Nearly forgetting to thank them, Katara ran passed the guards and up the long walkway to the palace's massive doors where she was greeted by another pair of guardsmen.
"Welcome, Lady Katara," one of them said as they opened the doors for her.
"Thank you," she replied hastily. "Where is Fire Lord Zuko?"
"He is in the palace gardens with his uncle," the guard replied. "They are currently in the middle of a lesson."
"Lesson?" Katara asked.
Without waiting for an answer she pressed on through the halls of the palace. Every direction she went led to a labyrinth of halls and doors that just made her feel more and more lost. How was anyone supposed to be able to find anything in a place so huge? How was she going to find Shuchun? More than once the waterbending master had to stop a servant in order to get directions to the garden, and more than once the directions only made her more confused. When she finally managed to get her barrings, Katara stood at a doorway to an enormous garden near what she believed to be the center of the palace.
"Very good," she heard Iroh saying. "Now do it again. Concentrate on your breathing this time."
"Yes, Sifu Iroh."
That was Shuchun, Katara realized. The child's voice did not sound like it was full of pain, but much the opposite. It was full of a strength that Katara had not expected.
"Zuko?" Katara called. "Shuchun? Where are you?"
"Katara!" Shuchun's voice called back. Before Katara could find where the voice had been coming from, the girl ran around a series of bushes and plowed into her. Katara embraced Shuchun securely as two arms wrapped around her waist and held her tightly. Zuko soon emerged from the bushes cover as well and smiled over to her.
"How are you?" Katara whispered as she knelt down to see Shuchun's face.
"I'm doing great!" the girl answered. "Sifu Iroh and I have really picked up the pace in our training. It's hard, but it's worth it!"
"Is that so?" Katara smiled. "Well, why don't I just come and watch you train for a little bit?"
Shuchun nodded vigorously as she took Katara by the hand and walked her to the center of the large garden. It was both relieving and unnerving how well Shuchun seemed to be doing. As Shuchun began running her drills with Iroh again, Katara turned toward Zuko.
"How is she doing?" Katara asked.
"I'm not sure really," Zuko answered. "For the most part she seems to be doing okay, but sometimes I catch her crying. Especially at night. She acts like it's nothing. Like she has something in her eye or some other ridiculous excuse. Then she just pours herself into her lessons or training."
"The poor thing. What about her parents?"
"Nothing," Zuko told her. "We haven't found any trace of them."
"That's because they got away," Shuchun said without breaking from her form. Katara was surprised she had even heard them speaking. "Mom and Dad got away, and I'm gonna find them. Even if I have to search the whole Fire Nation for them."
Even from the side of the garden Katara could see the fire that burned in Shuchun's eyes. Katara knew the odds of the girl's parents surviving a raid, but she could not bring herself to say so to Shuchun. How could she crush the child's hope? Still, no sign could be a good sign. Maybe they had made it out in time. Who was she to say that they didn't?
"Who's going to take care of her?" Katara asked Zuko in a more hushed voice.
"Uncle and I, of course," Zuko said without taking his eyes off of Shuchun. "There's no way I'm going to let her be alone."
"You know, I knew there was a reason I loved you," Katara smiled. Zuko blushed as he looked up towards the sky and Katara laughed.
- - - -
Dinner that evening had been quiet. Katara would have been hurt that Shuchun had no interest in talking to her at the time if she was not so painfully aware of how Shuchun was feeling. As strong as the child was, she was still just that: a child. The whole time she must have been wondering where her parents were, how they were doing, if they were eating too. It had reminded Katara of how she felt when her father had first left.
The bedrooms in the Fire Nation's palace were far too large for Katara's liking. She had told Zuko that once, back when the palace was still under construction. Lo and behold, here she lay in a small room that was cozy and comfortable. Zuko had even gone to lengths to get furs and skins from her native land. She was finally beginning to drift off to sleep in the familiar environment when the door began to creak. Her warrior senses snapped to attention and she was nearly out of bed before asking"Who's there?"
"Katara?" a small voice whispered. Shuchun stepped through the door clinging tightly to her robe as the door quietly slid shut behind her. "Did I wake you?"
"No, no, sweetheart," Katara cooed. "Come in. Come sit with me."
The girl did as she was told and placed herself on the bed next to Katara. For a few moments she just sat there silently and stared at the fur on the floor. Just as Katara was about to ask what was wrong, Shuchun leaned over and held onto her as if her very life depended on it. The tears came fast and the sobs came heavy as Katara rocked the precious child in her arms and stroked her hair.
"I miss them," Shuchun cried.
"I know, sweetie," Katara said, continuing to rock her. "I miss them too."
"I'm so scared. I keep saying that I'll find them. I have to. I feel like if I don't say it, then they really will be gone," she continued sobbing. "What if . . . what if they really are--"
"Don't even think like that," Katara told her. "If you give up on hope, then you give up on everything." Katara pulled away just enough to be able to look into Shuchun's eyes. "What does your heart tell you?"
Shuchun closed her eyes and placed her hand over her heart. After a few moments her breathing steadied and she let out a long sigh.
"They're alive."
"And since they're alive, you'll find them," Katara told her.
Katara pulled the girl into another embrace before laying them both down on the soft mattress of her bed. She continued to stroke Shuchun's hair and began to hum a quiet melody to help soothe the storm clouds in the child's mind and heart. Soon, Shuchun could feel the calmness taking over and her eye lids began to droop. However, there was one more question on her mind that she wanted to ask before falling asleep.
"Katara?"
"Hmm?"
"What if I don't find them? I'll be all alone."
"You will never be alone, Shuchun," Katara whispered to her. "Zuko and I would never leave you. Neither will Iroh."
"So, does that mean that you'll stay here with me?"
"I can't stay forever right now," Katara answered, refusing to lie to the girl. "But I will stay as long as I can."
"Thank you, Katara," Shuchun managed to say just before falling asleep in the waterbender's arms.
- - - -
Over the next few days, Shuchun's mood had noticeably improved. Her smiles were more genuine, her heart more focused, and not once did she feel the need to stop and cry. Knowing that Katara was there with her, watching her, and caring for her. Katara made her feel safe and capable, like nothing at all could stand in her way of finding her parents.
"You're amazing, do you know that?" Zuko said to Katara.
"What makes you say that?" she smiled in return from across the Pai Sho table.
"You worked wonders for Shuchun, and all you had to do was be here."
"It's not just me," she told him as she placed another tile. "It's you too. Having you around gives her strength."
"You really think so?" he asked, half believing and half not.
"Of course. So is there any news on her parents?"
"They haven't found anything," Zuko answered, just as he had every morning.
"Well, that won't stop her. And Iroh's been giving her lessons in tracking as well. He fully supports her decision to go looking for herself."
"He'll probably go with her," Zuko said. "I wish I could go with her. I'm worried about her being out there."
"You're starting to sound like a father," Katara grinned. "One that's really bad at Pai Sho."
Zuko stared at her blankly for a moment. Had she really just said that? Was she hinting at something? No, he was being ridiculous. Of course she would not be thinking anything like that. She had not even come to live with him yet, so that was impossible.
"Zuko?" her voice broke his train of thought. "Zuko are you listening?"
"Huh? What?"
"I asked you a question."
"Sorry, I didn't hear you."
"I was asking what you thought about children," Katara blushed.
Apparently she had been thinking what he had thought that she was thinking. But why? What brought this on? Was it because of Shuchun?
"I think they're all right," he told her. He really did not know what to say at all.
"That's not what I meant," she said blushing brighter. "I meant what do you think about . . . you know. Having children?"
Now it was Zuko who was blushing. Honestly, he had not thought about having children at all. For the most part, all he thought about their relationship was where it currently was and what the next step was. He had never really thought as far forward as children.
"I don't know," he said. "I'm not sure. I mean, sure you'd be a great parent, but--"
"Zuko, you are not Ozai."
Zuko's eye twitched slightly at the name. He did not like to think of the man locked away in the prison tower, if he could even be called a man anymore. If Ozai had taught him anything at all in his role as a father, it was how not to raise a child. Watching Shuchun out in the garden that morning with his uncle, Zuko felt a kind of warmth flowing over him. It was similar to the kind of feeling that Katara gave him, but it was different somehow. It felt more protective, more worried, more concerned. He wanted her to be near him always, and unlike with Katara he could not bear the thought of her being so far away.
"I think I'd like to be a father," Zuko finally said to Katara. "At least I think I'd like to try."
"I think you've already got a good start," Katara said with a knowing smile. "She really looks up to you, you know."
"I remember that night we met her when she said I was her hero. I felt so guilty knowing that I was the reason that the soldiers came down so hard on them."
"She never blamed you though. She's loved you the whole time."
"Even when I didn't deserve it," Zuko mused. "Just like you."
Katara leaned over the table and placed her hand on Zuko's cheek. Leaning in closer she placed a tender kiss on his lips and smiled.
"You're too hard on yourself," she said. "And by the way, I win."
She placed her final tile down on the board and claimed victory as she stood up and walked into the garden to join Shuchun and Iroh. Zuko just stared after her in admiration. Somehow she had managed to come all the way from the South Pole and make everything okay. Somehow she helped Shuchun to find the strength that she needed to smile again. And somehow she had made all of his worries seem so small and easy to handle. She never failed to absolutely amaze him, and for the millionth and first time Zuko thanked the spirits for having sent her to him. Even if they did not start out on the best of terms.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long to get to this post. For those of you who don't know, I've been in the middle of a move, my girlfriend of six years is getting deployed to Afghanistan, she became my fiancé, and we got married this past Saturday. I've had a pretty busy couple of months. Please reward me with reviews!