JASPER

I watched as Bella went upstairs, to grab her things most likely. It was Sunday and we had school in the morning. The feelings she admitted, whether she knew or not, disturbed me. I sat and just stared at the vacant area that used to have Bella in it, not knowing how to help her. I heard her come back down and asked Alice to take her home, the pain and unworthy feelings still present. As soon as she was out the door and the sound of Alice's car was out of our hearing range, I bolted.

I took off for the woods, needing a hunt, a vent, an outlet, something for whatever I was feeling. I didn't know how to help her and she's my mate. I should be the only one to help her, just my presence should help. It wasn't though and I couldn't figure out what that meant. Hell, maybe Alice got it wrong and she's not to be with me. I fell as despair over that thought when it finished. I had already changed, felt the pull, felt the bond, she had to be mine. I waited to fucking long to get a chance at what my family has and I couldn't grasp it.

"Major…"

With my arms wrapped my middle, I looked up into the eyes of Peter and Emmett and just nodded, not wanting to open my mouth. They made a gesture and I just blinked, letting them know through emotion they could sit and talk.

"Jasper, it's gonna be alright, man." Em whispered low enough for me and Peter only.

I just sat there and felt them both put a hand on my body, trying to help me.

"Emmett's right, Major. I found my Charlotte right after her first punishment from you, why do you think I ripped your dick off? She was so scared of you and I couldn' help'er, not really. If Maria found out we were both dead. It was so fuckin' hard, brother."

I turned my head and looked at him, I knew he knew I already knew both their stories with their mates. What I didn't know was why we were playing "who has the bigger sob story". I cocked my eyebrow and they both chuckled, fucking chuckled.

"We and Carlisle are about the only ones to help you figure this out. Do you think it was easy not tellin' ya about her, Jasper? I hadta watch'er get punished time and time cuz she wasn't fast enough, wasn't skilled enough. Do you think I didn't feel helpless?"

I just stayed quiet, he had a point.

"When I woke and saw my Rose, I wanted her so bad. Do you think I didn't feel like the world biggest loser because she wouldn't touch me? Do you think I didn't get upset and feel like shit when she compared me to the fuckers that raped her?"

I closed my eyes after Emmett's questions. Put those with Peter's and what I knew of Carlisle and Esme, they were right. I had help, but still felt like shit. I felt my arms loosen a bit and my hands went to my hair.

"What do I do? She feels so fuckin' worthless, she thinks she can't have me, have love. How do I compete with that? Just my fuckin' luck I get a mate I can't really touch, it's my punishment for Charlotte, for my reputation, for all I killed, for being Maria's fuckin' puppet, for…"

"STOP."

We all looked up to see my sisters and Esme staring down at me. Charlotte came over and knelt in front of me, taking my hands from my hair.

"Ya listen ta me, Jasper Wilhelm Whitlock. Yer not bein' punished and if we knew what woulda happened, we coulda stopped it. She somehow fooled Aly and Edward can't see'er. Tha's gotta mean somthin', hun."

I just looked at her and I knew my eyes held sorrow and I was projecting, that's why they came out in the first place.

"Jasper."

I looked over at Rose, who slowly walked and sat in Emmett's lap before she continued.

"Charlotte may be right. I fought what my body wanted because my head thought I didn't deserve it. Alice, Esme, and I convinced her you'd be the best help for her, that you'd kill for her. We just haven't told her why."

I just nodded, trying to grasp what they were saying. I just closed my eyes and laid back, feeling their positive emotions trying to help me. I don't know how long were were actually there, but I hear them say the sun would be up soon. I waited for them to all leave before opening my eyes. I watched the last stars I could see fade and then ran back, going straight to my room. I took a quick shower and got out, wrapping a towel around my waist. I walked into my room and pulled out a pair of jeans and Rolling Stones shirt.

I knew Bella was trying the baby steps and so thought maybe I could help my showing more of my arms then I usually did. Humans couldn't see them that well, but my whole arms were showing today. I grabbed a band and pulled my hair in a bun to get it off me since it was still wet as Rose hollered at me. I nodded to Peter and Charlotte, who both let me know they weren't leaving with their emotions as we drove off. When we got there, Bella was already there, sitting at a picnic table. I walked over with Alice and Edward, Em and Rosie heading to their class.

"Morning, Bella."

She nodded and looked at my shirt, not really feeling any different. "Hey guys."

She was wearing a hoodie, but I could tell it was because of the breeze and a bit of apprehension. I smiled and held my hand out, "C'mon lovely, English calls."

I smiled as she blushed a bit and took my hand, everyone in the parking lot noticing we were walking. I led her to class and didn't let her hand go till she got to her desk next to Alice. We saw Alice and Edward's moment before he went to class and then she fluttered over to us, sitting in her space. Bella sucked in a big breath and let out, "I can do this." was muttered and I looked at Alice.

"Jess and Lauren aren't gonna be nice."

I nodded and kept the two girls on Bella's other side in my sight as they walked in. Bella took her hoodie off and my focus was on her. She was beautiful. She had one a blue button up that was open with a tank top that was very conservative, the sleeves going to her elbows.

"Lovely, ya look pretty."

She turned and smiled as the teacher started class. I could feel the disgust off the blond next to Bella and tried not to growl, knowing they were gonna wait till she was alone. I sent my thoughts through emotion to Alice, who nodded I was right.

"Bathroom Jasper." my darlin' sister whisper for me only.

I nodded and turned my attention back to the girls. When class was over, Bella let me escort her and Alice to their next class. Edward was waiting to see Alice and then we walked together to Art. He didn't say anything, but sent out emotions of joy and hope. I smiled and thanked him in my head as we entered the room.

"Hey Jasper."

We rolled our eyes as the girls walked up to us. "Jessica."

"Are you and that Bella girl dating?"

I looked at Edward, who looked disgusted and sighed, "No, not really. Why?"

"Well, you hold her hand a lot and call her lovely. It's good though because you're too good for her, she's just not good genes, y'know?"

I bit the inside of my cheek to contain what I really wanted to say as the teacher came in and told us to get started on the clay project. We were making whatever we wanted with the clay, that's why this class was my favorite. Mr. Turner let us be creative, not making us to this and that, but what our imagine wanted us to. I smiled as I began molding my clay.

"Don't worry about, Jasper."

I just nodded as Edward whispered and sent out some more hope for me and Bella to me. I smiled a bit and continued. If those girls didn't leave my mate alone on top of what she was going through, well...it wasn't gonna be pretty. We heard Jessica ask to use the bathroom and I tensed, replaying my conversation for Edward. I heard a soft growl and he let me know through emotion that he was there if I needed him before class was over. I reached out to try to find Bella and she wasn't emitting anything more than she usually did, so she was safe for now. I let out a sigh, "She's still in class."

Edward nodded and kept up. I looked at this clay to see a very detailed piano and sighed, my darling little brother.

"Hey, your's looks like a gun."

I looked down and sure enough, I was making a musket rifle with mine. It was an exact replica of the one I fired in the Civil War.

Jessica still hadn't come back before class was out and I was getting nervous. As soon as we left the room, I collapsed. Bella's pain and unworthiness hit me like a mac truck. Edward helped me up as soon as Alice was in our sight. "Take her home, Jasper. She needs you."

I took in an unnecessary breath and nodded. I found Bella with Rose, who was trying to calm her and took her in my arms. I felt the shudders and tried not to show how much it was killing me.

"I'm going to get the nurse to tell Charlie she had an episode, but you took her to Carlisle to help. It should be fine. I'll call Carlisle also to meet you at home."

I nodded to Alice and then led my mate out of the school, trying to draw less attention than Bella already had. I heard my sister punch the crap out of Jessica, so knew Rosie would take care of it. I took the keys to my truck and helped Bella in after pushing the unlock button. I helped her into her belt and then walked to my side, climbing in. I could feel the emotions coming off her and it wasn't pretty. I needed to get her home or we'd wreck, I couldn't concentrate.

We pulled in and I let out a breath, thankful Carlisle was here and waiting. He approached me slowly and I nodded as he and Peter took Bella for me. I almost collapsed again getting out of the truck, Charlotte and Esme catching me.

"She'll be alright. I need ta tell yer, Jasper. She needta know now more than ever. She needsta know I was raped. I haveta help her. She needsta know that she can have what we do." Charlotte whispered.

I just shook my head, I didn't want my mate to know about my horrors before she knew me. She needed to know who I was now, not then.

"Trust me, I got my degree in this for a reason."

I closed my eyes and nodded and she left me with Esme. I put my arm around my friend and let her help me to the couch. I could hear Charlotte tell the men to get Bella some fruit and water, shooing them out. I laid my head on the couch and sighed. I heard Charly tell Bella she was about to learn some things that would totally make her hate all of the people who loved her, me especially. She told her I wouldn't be here for it because of the emotions, but that it would help her heal in the long wrong to learn how our species worked. I didn't get what that meant and sent her my confusion.

"Leave, Jasper Whitlock, or so help me I will rip off your favorite limb."

I gulped and took off for the forest to hunt, my brother behind me.

Hey guys and gals, I know this it a really late update. For that...I'm updating all evening! My internet took like 10 freaking modems to start working right, so there's that. Please continue to update and the next chapter will mostly be Charlotte and Bella, lot's of talking. Until them :)B