Everyday Chapter 11, an evangelion fanfic

EVERYDAY

CHAPTER 11

BY WONGA316

EMAIL
wonga316(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)au

MSN MESSENGER
wonga316(at)hotmail(dot)com

PROOF READING
Lord Raa and Koalakiller

DATE POSTED
20060121

AUTHOR'S NOTES
This is an AU fic where Shinji has the normal yet dysfunctional family. No EVA or Angels and I've decided to include almost all the characters from the anime. There is no real point to the fic. It's just some fun and a creative outlet. Hopefully it'll spark some better ideas for my other stories.

"…" Normal speech

'…' Thoughts

(…) Computer / phone / other chat (you will know what I mean…)

HANAMAKI INN – NEXT MORNING

It was the next morning after Shinji's near death experience with the carnivorous penguins and something was making him sweat under his bed sheets. He instinctively kick them off the quickly went back to sleep.

Soon he was feeling hot again and found that he was underneath the blankets once more. He kicked them off again thinking that he must have somehow rolled into them.

"Stop it!" a familiar voice complained and then pulled the blankets back over them.

"What the!" Shinji rubbed the sleep from his eyes to see who it was. Looking back at him was the deep brown eyes of Misato Katsuragi. She smiled and gave him a big wet kiss on the cheek.

"What are you doing? Why are you in my bed?" he asked while wiping the slobber from his face. The boy had somehow gotten use to finding a stranger with him in his bed. It was almost a pointless question.

"Good morning Shin-chan." She replied cheerfully but it changed when she saw the look in his eyes. "I was worried about you… I was really scared yesterday when you went missing…"

"That still doesn't mean you can just waltz into my bed." He sounded mad and grumpy. His words came out harsh and she took them in typical Misato fashion.

"WAAAAAA! Why do you hate me!" she cried like a baby with the tears included for added effect.

"SHHHHHH! You'll wake everyone." Shinji tried to make her stop before the crying would bring more attention that he didn't want first thing in the morning.

"Please stop. I don't hate you, okay." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently.

"You don't hate me?" Misato asked with a little quiver while wiping the tears with the back of her hand. Shinji nodded in the affirmative. She then tackled the poor boy and pinned him down with her on top.

"That means you love me right?" She asked trying to be sexy without showing any evidence that she was crying a fountain of tears just seconds ago.

"What the! Weren't you just crying?" Shinji resisted against her hold but she was bigger and stronger than he was. The quick shift in emotions by the woman absolutely uncanny and scary.

"This is payback my little Shinji... I still remember when you had me in this position." Misato was referring back to about the time when Shinji pretended to almost kiss her on her first night back in Japan from her trip to France.

"That was just a joke." He fought harder against her hold.

"I know… Just like I'm joking now…" She licked her lips and lean in closer to him.

"Get off!" a third voice spoke up from somewhere in the darkness; interrupting Misato's so called revenge. She was only millimetres from going through with it when a familiar head popped out from underneath Shinji's left shoulder.

"Yeah." Another voice was accompanied by a second head appearing from behind Shinji's right shoulder. "Play time is over Misato. Get off us. You weight a tonne."

Shinji's seducer blinked her eyes at Naoko and Kyoko who had somehow appeared in bed with Shinji as well as her.

"I never knew that you were into the group thing Shinji…" Misato said a little puzzled at what to do. "I wish you would talk to me about experimenting with different things in bed first. You are lucky I have such an open mind about these things. Any other person might get upset."

She climbed off him and Shinji quickly scrambled away trying to put as much distance between him and the females invading his sleeping quarters.

Kyoko sat up. She stretched and yawned almost like a cat would. Naoko was less subtle. She found something annoying in her ear and was busily sticking her finger in trying to dislodge it.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Shinji," Kyoko said while tying her dark auburn locks into a neat pony tail. "You go on a date with me and then sleep with Misato behind my back."

"What? No! Hang on, why are the three of you in my room?" He was making a stand. There was no way that he was going to let these three women twist the situation around to their own benefit. He knew the odds were against him but he had to try.

"I thought we were having a slumber party?" Naoko admitted sounding a little confused.

"I was just following you." Kyoko looked at her friend. "Didn't you say we were on a treasure hunt?"

An empty sake bottle then rolled out from underneath the blanket. It became all clear to Shinji what had happened. The combinations of the women's imagination and a good supply of sake would explain almost everything.

"Could you all leave as I have to get changed?" He saw no point in arguing with them and just want to get away as quickly as possible.

"But don't you want to look for the treasure?" Kyoko's head ducked back under the blanket and pulled out a piece of scrap paper. "You see treasure."

Shinji reached over and took it. He examined it and read what was on it.

"This is a page from the TV guide downstairs." He pointed to the columns on the page with the times followed by the program showing.

"You think so… I though they were map co-ordinates…" Kyoko said innocently.

"Ok! So who wants their nails done?" Naoko spoke up and decided to change the subject. Unfortunately she didn't have anything intelligent to say thinking that it was a slumber party.

"Me! Me first!" Misato jumped at the chance for a make over.

"We are not having a slumber party!" At this point Shinji was really trying hard to keep his composure.

"But you just said it wasn't a treasure hunt." Naoko stated as a matter of fact.

"That doesn't mean it's a slumber party either!" he was now shouting.

"SHHH!" All three of them hushed him. They then pointed over to another someone slumped against the wall fast asleep with a hunting gun in hand.

"Don't worry Shinji… Mummy will protect you…" Yui mumbled in her sleep. She had feared something might happen to her son during the night and stayed to protect him.

Naoko pulled out a mascara pencil from her cosmetic bag and crawled towards Yui with the intension of writing something embarrassing on the sleeping woman's face.

"Give her a moustache," Kyoko said, giggling like a school girl.

"Don't forget the side burns," Misato added her two cent worth into the mix. "Give her mutton chops."

"Stop that!" Shinji reprimanded them. He carefully reached over to take the gun from Yui. She was lethal enough with her wooden spoons so a firearm wasn't a good idea.

"DIE BAKA GENDO" Shinji had forgotten that his mother had the tendency to sleep walk and she had picked the perfect time to start. She was on her feet in a flash waving the firearm around wildly.

"EAT LEAD BAKA GENDO." She began squeezing off a few rounds which caused the three women to duck for cover. Shinji was slow to react and being the closest it looked pretty glum for him as he felt the bullets fly past his face. He stumbled backwards until the back of his legs hit the ledge of the window which caused him to stumble out of the second story.

"Everything is safe now… sleep safely my Shinji…" the mother fell backwards onto the ground and resumed sleeping soundly like nothing had happen.

The door to his room was pushed opened and a group of concerned people flooded in. They looked around and found an open window, three grown women in the duck and cover position and one sleep mother in the middle of the room with a smoking gun. Numerous bullet holes littered the wall and ceiling.

"I'll get the first aid kit," Ritsuko said walking back out of the room. She had no doubt that someone would be in need of medical attention.

"Don't worry your pretty head Misato." Kaji saw this as an opportunity to try and get back into the good books with his favourite female. He actually just saw the skimpy yellow singlet top and shorts she was wearing and went over to give her a comforting hug "I'll protect from any danger."

"Shinji!" A straight arm punch came from the woman which sent him flying into the nearest wall. She may have been immature at times but her thoughts were always for Shinji safety and wellbeing. She like the others just had a strange way of showing it.

"Good morning everyone." Yui said yawning. Kaji head on collision with the wall was enough the wake her. No-one thought that it was strange that the sound of a shotgun going off should have woken her instead.

"Why are you all doing in my Shinji's room?" She picked up the gun and flicked it around. She began using it as a backscratcher.

"What the hell did you do to him?" Asuka stalked over and threatened her mother who had composure herself after hitting the floor like a coward.

"Have all of you come to join the treasure hunt as well?"

Instinctively, Rei and Mana saw the open window and sensed that something was not right. They rush up to it and looked down. There was a thick bush with a pair of arms and legs stick out making involuntary twitches. The torso and head were deep with in the shrub and concealed by the foliage.

"What are you girls looking at?" Yui asked walking up behind them.

HANAMAKI INN – MID MORNING

"Shinji… Shinji…" the faint call of his name gradually got louder and louder. As it did so did the throbbing pain coming from the back of his head. He managed to open his eyes but the sharp light just made him want to close them again.

"Come on, Shinji. You have to wake up." Ritsuko started to deliver gentle slaps across his face. "You're the only one who can stop this."

"Please stop." He grabbed her hand and used it to pull himself into a sitting position.

"It's about time you woke up. Things were starting to get out of hand." Ritsuko pointed behind him. He twisted his head to see what she was talking about.

"PLEASE LET ME DIE!" Yui cried aloud as she hung in the air from a hangman's noose tied from the ceiling support beams. Fuyutsuki and the other adults were all trying to stop the mother from committing suicide in the middle of the main room.

"DON'T WORRY SHINJI! MUMMY WILL BE COMING TO JOIN YOU!" she screamed again.

"Alright! Who's pulling her down!" The older man yelled as he was trying to hold her weight to prevent the woman's neck from snapping. He knew that with this many people helping that it was more then enough to hold her up. His suspicions were with Yui two so-called best friends, Naoko Akagi and Kyoko Langley Sohryu.

"Get the lead out!" Naoko ordered her partner in crime. "All you German weightlifters are drug cheats. This shouldn't be a problem for you."

"What did you call me!" Kyoko stopped pulling down and pulled her accuser side. Fuyutsuki was right. As soon as the two women let go, they all found that Yui's weight was easily supported.

"You heard me. What? Did all those years of steroid abuse effect your hearing as well?" Naoko words over stepped the boundary and she received a forceful slap from Kyoko. But she was to out done and so a slapping contest had started with each opponent delivering open palm slaps after each other.

SMACK

"WAAAAAA! My Shinji is gone!" Yui's mournful howl could still be heard between the slaps

SMACK

"Shouldn't we stop your mother Asuka?" Hikari asked her friend. It worried her that things were escalating violently out of the control.

"Give me 10,000 Yen on the Akagi woman." Asuka was handing over a note to Touji and Kensuke who had turn prize fighter book makers when the slap fest begun.

"You're betting against your own mother?" Touji said as he accepted the money. Kensuke was busily writing out the ticket stub.

"Hell yes! She needs to be taken down a peg or two."

Meanwhile, all the chaos and bedlam allowed Shinji to walk unnoticed to stand almost underneath his hangman mother.

"What are you doing?" he asked tiredly and still feeling the effects of a secondary story plunge out of a window.

"WAAAAAA!" Yui instantly stopped crying when he spoke. She looked down at him and blinked her eyes in disbelief. She blinked again to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

"SHINJI!" With the strength of a raging bull at a rodeo, she easily disposed of the people trying to save her life. Then like a ninja she twisted herself up and used her ancient wooden spoon technique to slice through the rope. Completing the full twist, she landed neatly on the floor before her son.

"It's okay now Shinji sweetie…" she pulled him into a hug and began stroking his hair. "Death must have been scary but mummy is here to protect you."

She pulled away from the hug and looked around her surroundings

"So this is what heaven looks like?" the mother mused. "It's a lot like back on Earth.

Shinji sighed. He knew he had to try and explain things to his mother but it was guarantee to make his headache worst.

"You're not dead and this isn't heaven." He deadpan.

Yui looked around some more to see that his son was right. Naoko and Kyoko were still busy in the slap-a-thon. The children seem very interested in the outcome of the fight. Bodies of her friends and work mates lay around the room after being thrown about like rag dolls.

"AHHH! I'm haunted by visions of my poor, dead son!" she believed that her son was dead and he had return to her in spiritual form.

Shinji face faulted.

"Quick! Someone call the Vatican! We have to help my baby boy complete his journey to the other side." She raced off to the reception desk and grabbed and telephone book from the counter. Yui then picked up the phone and dialled a number.

"Hello operator? Give me the area code for Italy, Rome and hurry this is an emergency." She then turned towards the group. "Does anyone here know how to speak Italian?"

"Perhaps we could use this to communicate with my brother." She walked forward with an Ouija board.

"Great thinking Rei sweetie!" Yui dropped the phone with the person on the other end still yelling abuse in Italian. She jumped the counter and quickly ran over to her daughter. But before she could she get her hands on the spiritual tablet, Ritsuko snatched it out of Rei's grasp.

"Stop being a total moron!" the Akagi daughter yelled at Yui.

"Shinji is not dead and I'll show you." She used the Ouija board and whacked it on top of Shinji's head.

"What was that for!" the young boy asked, clearly annoyed as he rubbed the place where he was hit.

"If Shinji was dead then how would he feel pain and could I be able to hit him with this?" Ritsuko growled as she threw the board down on the ground, making a clattering sound.

"No! Ritsuko must be a ghost as well!" Yui had put two and two together and gotten forty seven. She pulled out two wooden spoons and placed them in a crucifix.

"Be gone evil banshee woman! Get away from my Shinji!"

"Wait a minute everyone!" Uncharacteristically, Misato spoke up and sounded like she was going to be the voice of reason. "I think I have a way to prove everything."

She walked over to Shinji and then bent down at the waist to meet him at eye level. Their faces were almost touching and this made Shinji uncomfortable. She had a look in her eyes that was almost animalistic with a hint of mischievousness.

WOOSH

Then like lighting Misato had grabbed Shinji by the pants and yanked them down. He just stood there in all his glory, stunned at what had just happened.

"You see only my Shinji would have a package like that." Misato said with pride while still holding the poor boy's pants and underwear in the air.

"ARGH!" The stooges and Kawrou yelled in disgust. "Oh God I'm blind!"

"Oh Shinji…" Yui said wiping a tear from her eye. "I'm so glad that my baby boy has grown up to become a man."

"GIVE THOSE BACK!" Shinji tried to steal his pants back from Misato but she was too quick for him. She tossed them to the still feuding Naoko and Kyoko. The garments land on their heads. It was enough for them to stop slapping each other silly to see what was going on.

"That's it Shinji! Let's skip the foreplay and get right down to business!" A frustrated, embarrassed and half naked Shinji Ikari charged towards them. Kyoko was keen and liked the show of initiative from the young man.

"No! Why do you get to go first!" Naoko complained.

"And let you break him in? Ha, you've got to be kidding me. Ten minutes with you and he'll be off women forever." Kyoko had managed to hit a soft spot in her friend. She felt pleased, it was payback for the uncalled for comments about her German connection and the weight lifting team.

The slap-a-thon turned into a wrestling match and in the process Shinji's clothes got tossed aside again. He chased after them and watched them sail in the air across the room. The pants landed in one pair of hands and his underwear in another. He slowly looked up to see the owners of the hands to be Asuka and Mana.

Shinji stopped still. His entire body froze on the stop. He felt his heart stop and his brain cease functioning.

Asuka and Mana blinked very slowly at Shinji's half naked form before them. They turned to each other for a moment and then looked back at Shinji. Their heads tilted almost robotic like from his face to his groin area back to face and then back to his groin.

"Oh crap…" right then hiding his shame became the least of his worries.

"BAKA HENTAI!" both girls scream and delivered simulation punches; Asuka with a right and Mana with her left. Then just like his pants moments ago, Shinji sailed across the room like he had been shot from a canon. It looked like he was going to have a very rough landing on the inn floor but a giant sack snatched him out of the air.

"HA!" Misato squealed with delight as she pulled the cords along the top of the bag to keep Shinji from getting out.

"You girls snooze, you loose." She pulled down one of her eye lids and stuck her tongue out at the group. By the time everyone realise what she had done, she was already out of the room.

"GET HER!" the group shouted and the Great Chase for Shinji Ikari had begun.

Rei was closest to the door that Misato ran out and so she was in front of the pack. She would have stayed in the front if it wasn't for Yui grabbing on her collar and holding her back.

"Come on Rei. Shinji will have fun playing with the girls. We have work to do."

The daughter gave a look of confusion and bewilderment. She didn't understand what work her mother was talking about that was more important than saving Shinji from the imminent capture by the horde.

GREAT CHASE FOR SHINJI IKARI

Misato had gotten the drop on the group and she had a good lead on her pursuers. She amazingly had didn't seem to lose her pace with the extra load of Shinji in the sack. Misato ducked into the kitchen. Her plan was to hide the walk in freezer until they gave up looking for them.

As she stood in front of the cold room door, a thought cloud appeared above her. She pictured herself and Shinji cuddling each other to keep warm in a snow landscape. They were naked. She suggested that this was the best way to conserve body heat. Her hands began to wonder and one thing lead to another.

"Don't Shin-chan. It won't be long until we get to have our little private time." She spoke to the struggling lad in the bag while wiping the drool from her mouth. All she got back was a bunch of muffled cries.

She had one hand on the cold room door handle and things were looking good until…

WHACK

A steel pot made contact with her skull and she collapsed onto the floor. A hand caught Shinji in the bag before it hit the floor.

"You should watch were you are going, Misato-chan," Kyoko said, her voice filled with sarcasm. She then made her way out of the kitchen and into the change rooms for the hot springs. Thinking that no one would think about following then here she relaxed for a moment and open the bag to check on its passenger.

"Hi Shinji," she said cheerfully into the opening. "What do you say that we finish our little date from the other night?"

"LET ME…" Kyoko quickly closed the bag up again to cut him off.

Kyoko had her own little day dream. They were in the change rooms and she was disrobing in preparation for a bath. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. It was Shinji and he began whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

"Don't worry… You won't be complaining about what I have planned for the both of us," she said licking her lips.

WHACK

Two wooden buckets used by patrons attending the hot spring slammed into the back of Kyoko's head. The older woman was instantly seeing stars.

"Getting old mama…" Asuka sneered at her unconscious mother before putting in a cheap shot of a kick to her backside.

"Come on Asuka!" Mana was struggling with the sack and feared that the others may come soon. The two rivals had teamed up together to retrieve their favourite boy. They both conceded that it was almost impossible for them to get Shinji back when against the full force of the mothers and the other women.

"Fine…" The young red head huffed as she stopped putting the boot into her mother.

"Why don't we just let him out instead of dragging the bag around?" Hikari didn't want to play of their little game but she had been convinced to take part by Asuka. The idea of dragging around a fellow classmate against his will in a giant sack didn't really appeal to the class representative.

"Duh! Don't you remember? Baka Shinji doesn't have any pants on." Asuka reminded her best friend. The image of a pants-less Shinji was still vivid in her mind. The image also flashed through Mana's mind. The girls looked at each other as if they all knew what each other were thinking.

"I won't tell if you won't tell." Asuka said to the other girls. They nodded knowing what she was referring. Mana slowly opened the bag and they all peered into it.

"MANA! GET ME…" Just like Kyoko, Mana closed the bag before Shinji could finish.

"Did you see it?" Hikari asked with a slight blush across her cheeks.

"Ah… not really… Do you wanna have another look?" Asuka was lying. She had gotten a good peek before and just then. She wasn't going to admit but she wanted to see it again. After all, it was her first time that she had properly seen a man's anatomy and they were at the age all teenagers began to explore their sexuality. It wasn't like the other girls were any different. Mana opened the sack again slowly.

"GET ME!" And before he could finish or make a break for the opening Mana closed it shut again. They all shared a quick girly giggle.

'Why does this always keep happening to me?' Shinji thought as he heard the sound of the girls giggle outside. Air in the sack was beginning to get hot and heavy.

'Just how much air do I have in here?' his thoughts changed when he realised how difficult it was breathing.

Satisfied with the private show, the girls began to drag their prize away. They pulled him into the hot spring where the slippery tiles made it easier for them to haul Shinji around. Asuka's plan was to make a hole in the fence and make their getaway into the forest. If they could just make it to the tree line then the undergrowth would provide adequate cover.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

A series of bangs almost like gunshots startled the girls. Before they could react or the fear had a chance to be registered by their brains, they felt themselves be pushed away from the sack that was carrying Shinji. Their backs hit the wall of the inn behind them and they found that their clothes were nailed in placed.

"Tsk… tsk… tsk…" Naoko approached the girls sporting an air compressed nail gun. It had been modified with duct tape so the safety trigger was engaged that allowed her to fire at will. The tool had been used by her when she was remodelling the hot spring layout.

"I'll admit it was clever of you young ones to team up together and you actually got pretty far." Her words just made Asuka angrier and struggle some more.

"Damn you Akagi! Who said that guns were allowed?" Asuka hissed at the older woman.

"Silly girl." Naoko flicked her victim on the forehead. "No one ever said anything about having no guns and besides this is a tool. It's a nail gun."

"It shoots projectiles. It's a gun!"

"Argue all you want but you're stuck there and I'm going over there." She pointed to the sack where Shinji was being held capture.

"Come on! Someone do something!" Mana said trying her hardest to break free but it was pointless as Naoko stalked over to Shinji like a predator would its prey.

"Alright Shinji!" She open the top of the sack a poked her head in. "Don't you think it's time we finished your lesson of the Kama Sutra?"

A hand from behind grabbed Naoko by the neck and pulled her head out.

"What do you think your doing?" Ritsuko asked her mother.

"What does it look like?" the mother slapped her daughter's hand away. "I'm giving Shinji some special tuition."

She went to put her head back in the bag but Ritsuko stopped her again.

"This isn't school time for kiddies! You're talking about sexual assault."

"That's just a matter of opinion. Why don't you be a good girl and keep watch for me? I promise that you can have Shinji after I'm done."

"I can't believe that I'm related to you…" Ritsuko grabbed her mother's hand and began leading her away.

"Look, if you wanted to go first all you had to do was ask."

"Yes… WHAT! NO! I mean…" the young blonde's lapse in concentration allowed her to be caught out.

"AH HA! I knew my little Ritsuko liked someone." And then the teasing began.

"Ritsu and Shinji, sitting in the tree. K. I. Double S. I. N. G." Naoko sang.

"Stop it you're acting like a child!" Ritsuko's face was slowly getting redder by the moment.

"Hang on! Let me ask Shinji if he likes you." Naoko broke her daughter's hold and bolted to the bag.

"Hey Shinji guess what?" She poked her head back in the bag and sang. "I know someone who likes you!"

"ARGH!" the animalistic growl was followed by shattering glass and a body flying out of the window above the three girls nailed to the wall of the inn.

"Alright! Who wants to fight!" It was Misato who had recovered from her meeting with the cast iron pot and she was pissed. She held two frying pans in each hand and wore a larger pot on her head as a helmet.

After her entrance and sound of a chainsaw cutting through timber filled the air. The blade of the chainsaw appeared through the door of the hot spring. Soon it had cut another opening and Kyoko emerged carrying the petrol driven saw.

"Asuka. Langley. Sohryu." With each word of her daughter's name she revved the machine of destruction.

"I'm scared, Asuka," Hikari said to her friend with a quiver in her voice.

"Come on! Bring it on!" Asuka dared her mother to come forth. The anger and adrenalin coursing through her body had clouded her better judgment. Hikari look to the other side to see Mana saying a quiet prayer.

Naoko quickly grabbed her nail gun again. She had Shinji for the moment and wasn't going to let me go.

It was the final showdown. This was the moment where the survivor would be able to claim Shinji as their prize. They were like wolves fighting over a carcass of the kill. It was going to be vicious and ugly.

As they were about to commence, Shinji used the time to fight his way out of the bag. He only poked his head out because he still didn't have any pants on.

"STOP THIS!" he shouted while sucking in the fresh air. Everyone looked at him in puzzlement.

"There's no point to this. There's no reason why you should fight."

Misato thought about her Shinji's words and then looked at the two mothers.

"Share?" she asked the both of them.

"Share? Share what?" Shinji asked totally confused by Misato. The three schoolgirls still nailed to the wall were also wondering what Misato was saying.

"I did have my hopes set on carving somebody up but a couple of rounds in the sack will do just as well," Kyoko admitted as she threw the chainsaw aside.

"I'm always for something new." Naoko tossed her weapon of choice aside as Misato put down her pot and frying pans.

"Hey Ritsu," Misato called out to her friend. "I'd ask you if you wanted to join, but Naoko's already in, and that would be just too weird."

"What are you talking about?" It then occurred to the blonde what the other women were eluding too.

"NO WAY! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" She made a beeline to Shinji. Ritsuko stood in front and spread her arms out, forming a human barrier.

"What the hell was going on?" Shinji wondered.

"Oh I don't mind if my Ritsu joins us. Since we are going all the way we might as do it properly. She might get cranky because she doesn't like to be second." Naoko whispered the last bit to Kyoko which caused her to laugh.

"Are you sure? Misato is right. It is a little weird," Kyoko said between laughs.

"You know… you would think so but I don't…"

"Alright! It's all settled then!" Misato walked up to her friend standing in front of Shinji. "Out of the way Ritsu. It's feeding time in the monkey house and they want their banana."

"Who's sharing monkeys now?" if Shinji was confused before now he was losing IQ points.

"What you are talking about is immoral and not to mention against the law! I can't let you do this." Ritsuko was adamant to stop the orgy the older women had discussed for poor Shinji.

"Fine… You can have first crack," Misato conceded and looked at her watch. "You have five minutes so hurry."

"Five minutes?" her friend's features changed from defiant to upset. "There's no way that anyone can get off in five…"

She had been caught out again and quickly slapped her hands over mouth as she was slowly turning into a deep shade of red again.

"Who's getting off in five minutes?" Shinji's brain was slowly turning into goo.

"AH HA!" Misato, Kyoko and her mother shouted on the top of their lungs.

"You naughty little thing! All this time you denied it but now the truth comes out." Kyoko words were followed up by Naoko pinching her daughter's cheeks. Ritsuko wanted a hole to appear beneath her and just swallow her up. There was no way she was going to live this down.

"Hey Asuka, do you know what they are talking about?" Hikari asked. She thought they were talking about sharing something with Shinji. She didn't know that it was Shinji that was going to be shared between them.

"I have no idea but if that blonde bitch likes Shinji, then that could be problem…" she said short of admitting her true feelings of the boy. She had a hard enough time of keeping Misato and the others away from the boy and didn't need another one to be added to the list.

"Come on girls!" Yui appeared in the opening that Kyoko made with some sort of gun. It wasn't normal and larger than the hunting rifle she had this morning. She also wore a backpack which was also attached by a rubber tube to the gun. A heavy helmet rested on top of her head and she was chewing on the handle of a wooden spoon like an army sergeant would chew on a cigar.

"Play time is over. Lunch is almost ready and I think that my Shinji must be hungry."

Misato, Naoko and Kyoko looked at each other again before forming a tight huddle.

"I reckon we can take her," Kyoko whispered to the other two. They both nodded and started discussing a plan of attack.

"I think if Naoko laid down some fire cover with her nail gun. Kyoko and I can flank her. Once we get on top of her Naoko comes in and finishes off the job." The tactician in Misato was coming out.

They broke from the huddle, grabbed their weapons and went into position ready for the assault. Yui just took one look at the formation and laughed.

"Do you really think you can take me down?"

"NOW!" the trio sprung into action but before Misato or Kyoko could get close with the kitchen utensils or chainsaw. Yui fired her weapon. A giant line of liquid fire almost thirty feet long shot out. The heat was so intense that Naoko's nails melted before reaching their target.

"Oh crap." Shinji didn't know what the women were talking about but he knew that now was a good time to hide back in the bag.

"IT'S HOT! IT'S HOT!" Ritsuko screamed while running around with a tiny flame on the top of her head. It seemed her hair dye was really flammable. Luckily for her Rei was on hand with a fire extinguisher. She completed the fire man look with the stripper outfit that the girls forced Shinji in a couple of nights ago.

"Thanks Rei!" her mother called out while still fighting out her attackers. Shinji's twin sister nodded and walked over to Asuka and the others.

"Well, just don't stand there gawking! Get us down wonder girl!" Asuka shouted. Rei just looked amused. She raised the nozzle of the extinguisher gave her long time neighbour a blast of the carbon dioxide mixture. The powder coated her to the sugar would a jelly donut.

"She wasn't on fire," Mana stated as a matter of fact. Everything else was practically alight yet she hosed down Asuka.

"I am aware of that." Rei gave the girl a small smile and all three of them shared a laugh at the expense of an unconscious Asuka.

The rush of the firepower from the flamethrower had Yui on a gun high. She was laughing maniacally as she torched the surrounding area. But motherly instincts were still hone in tight. Through all the noise she heard faint chime of the oven going off.

"Oh! My cake is done." She instantly dropped the heavy weaponry and equipment and hurried inside. It was Rei's and Shinji's favourite cheesecake. After baking she had to refrigerate. She had timed the baking and chilling so it would be ready after they had eaten lunch.

"We could have taken her…" Misato said before collapsing on the ground from exhaustion and heat stroke.

The maniacal laughter was replaced by a gentle sweet hum from the mother of two. It was like a switch had been turned on in her head from evil to good. The scary thing was that she mostly likely didn't have a switch and this was normal behaviour

But before she reached the kitchen someone had rang the bell at the front reception desk. She went to investigate who it could be and was surprised to see a short middle aged man standing there surrounded by a ground of beautiful young women at the counter.

"Oh, hello." The man was a little startled by Yui's appearance. "Are you the owner who I spoke with a week ago? We are the people wanting to book the entire inn for a couple of days." There was a moment of awkward silence as our favourite mother and the newly arrived guests looked at each other.

END OF CHAPTER

OMAKE - ADVENTURES OF CHIBI BAKA GENDO

Little Gendo woke up after being catapulted by his adoring wife of over fifteen years. He flicked himself off the ground with the skill of a gymnast. He brushed the dirt off as he rubbed his backside to try and get rid of the pain.

"Where am I?" he scratched his head as he surveyed his surroundings. He was in the middle of a grassy field with the occasional tree here and there.

"That woman is going to cop it when I get back." His chibi legs began the long journey back. But he stopped when he heard a faint distant whistling. The high pitch noise gradually got louder and louder.

"Oh crap…" Those were the last sentiments he uttered as the Baka Seeking missile made a direct hit with its target. A giant mushroom cloud could be seen rising in the distance for miles away. It left a huge crater in the earth. A fragment of the missile shell was embedded in the ground. A motif of a chibi penguin wielding a pair of wooden spoons was painted on it with the motto – BAKA CLEANSING UNIT written underneath.

AUTHOR'S NOTES
Hello readers! Many thanks for the reviews and positive feedback. Keep them coming and help me break the 100 mark. :P

Guess what? I actually have some usefully things to waffle on about this time. First off I'll like to name the following people who helped in the creative ideas in this chapter. Some of the idea I haven't put to MS Word yet but they come out soon.

Lord Raa
The Wicker Man 1
Koala Killer
Shinji the Good Sharer
Innortal

The other thing is the Omake – Adventures of Chibi Baka Gendo (CBG). If you are wondering, since Gendo was sent on his bike by Yui a few chapters back, thought what about a little omake series where he makes his way back to the main story. Of course random madness and Gendo bashing ahead. There will be little hints of the main story in the omake adventures but nothing that would affect the main plot or storyline (not as if I had one). Let me know what you think and whether I should continue.

I also got another offer for second level proof reading from Koalakiller, so from now on two sets of eyes will go over the chapter before posting.

That's it for the moment. Next chapter will see who the mysterious man is that has been double booked at the inn and why has he got a bevy of beautiful women following him. And what work was Yui talking about when she pulled Rei aside. Originally, I was going to include them in this chapter but it would have ended up like forty pages for something.

Thanks for reading,

Wonga316