A/N: Hello, kittens. I'm back quicker than expected with yet another update. Things pretty much jump right in where we left off. Enjoy and thank you for the reviews!
Disclaimer: These characters are the creative property of LJ Smith and The CW. No copyright infringement is intended.
Her constant footfalls summoned him to his bedroom. Stefan halted on the staircase, swallowed, let out a puff of air between his lips, and held on to the wrought iron railing for balance. There were plenty of times, more than enough times he was petrified of facing something, and whenever he felt fear he remembered that the only things capable of physically hurting him was wood, fire, and a blade sharp enough to separate his head from his shoulders.
Nevertheless, he was terrified of going inside his bedroom to face Bonnie. To see the look of anguish, pain, and fury dancing in her olive eyes. Eyes that reminded him of Spanish moss, or the sweetest of Granny Smith's apples. He already lost her but maybe if he could get through these next few minutes of his life, he'd settle for Bonnie not hating him to the point to want to see him dead, but hating him to the point where she'd ignore his very existence. His confidence dwindled down to nothing after that perilous thought.
Climbing the rest of the steps, Stefan hesitated before pushing the bedroom door open.
There she stood on the opposite side of the room, bathed in the sunlight that poured in from the Gothic style windows. Bonnie turned and looked at him and the expression that had been on her face before they were interrupted was still there—unfortunately. But accompanying that expression was impatience and vengeance.
During his absence Bonnie tried to work out several variables in her mind, but no matter the angle she attacked the problem she couldn't come up with a reasonable or rational solution. She was no stranger to being lied to or telling her share of lies. Her motivation had been driven by not wanting someone to get into trouble, or she was trying to keep someone from finding trouble. But Stefan? His lies were mostly self-centeredly driven.
"Why have you been lying to me?" Bonnie began the proceedings. "Why did I have to hear the truth from Alaric? It shouldn't have come to that."
So Alaric was the one who spilled the beans. Good to know.
"I haven't been lying to you, Bonnie," was Stefan's rebuttal and something he feared he was going to be saying a lot.
Bonnie shook her head in disbelief. "By not saying anything when you know the truth is still lying. By acting ignorant of certain facts and not cluing in the person involved is still lying."
"It was a judgment call mistake. I didn't want to hurt you after we had gotten so close. I knew if I did it would only lead to this point. I only wanted to protect you."
"Bullshit!" Bonnie spat and picked up her pacing once again. "The only person you were interested in looking out for was yourself. You stood there and allowed me to believe it was my mom who was supposed to die this whole time. How could you do that? Look me in my face, become my friend again, kiss me, touch me knowing it was your ass who was supposed to kill me? You're an even bigger asshole than Damon because he never pretended to be my friend."
Now that stung. There was a time where Stefan didn't mind being compared to his older brother, but the second they became vampires that's where the guillotine landed on craving to be seen as a miniature version of Damon Salvatore. To hear Bonnie say his actions made him a bigger a-hole than his brother was akin to pulling his body over scolding hot coals while dousing his back with vervain.
And the pain of that comparison was reflected on the lines etched across Stefan's forehead. However hurtful it might have been to hear it, even he couldn't deny the truth of Bonnie's observation. If Damon was going to stab you, he did it from the front and rubbed lemon juice and salt into the wound afterward. Stefan was more inclined to sneak up on you in a surprise attack you never saw coming, and would pretend to act noble about it later.
He licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck. "Bonnie, there's nothing I can say that can change what I did, and you're right it makes me an even bigger dick than my brother by not telling you the truth as soon as everything went down, and especially as soon as we started to like each other," Stefan took a breath. "I know this might be hard for you to believe but I care about you and I always have."
Bonnie stopped pacing. "No. In the past, if you did quote en quote cared about me it was only so you wouldn't let Elena down. And you know what?" Bonnie rested a hand on her chest, "I'm guilty of the same thing. I didn't have to call her and tell her Klaus and Rebekah had Damon. I could have let them kill him, but I didn't. I had no reason in the world to want his ass alive. But neither you nor Damon decided to pick up the phone and let me know what was going on so we could come up with another plan. You didn't give us that choice. You made it for us in a disgustingly disrespectful way! And that's the part that hurts the most."
Stefan had nothing to say in his defense. He and Damon were guilty of not consulting Bonnie and Abby when they had what little time there was to make an informed decision. Once again they acted without careful thought of the consequences, and as a result others paid for their rash decision making skills.
"You're right we didn't and we should have. If I could go back to that night I never would have agreed to any of it. Bonnie, you have to believe me that I wasn't thinking…we were working against time."
"I don't care. That's no excuse. Yeah, we all make wrong decisions trying to convince ourselves we made the right choice, but it only makes things worse. I thought you were one of the good ones who actually cared about people beyond your circle, Stefan."
He sighed. "I did."
"What happened? When did you stop caring?"
"I don't know! Maybe it was in between sacrificing my freedom for Damon's life and spending an entire summer ripping people apart," Stefan furiously rubbed his eyes. "Innocent people lost their lives because of me. All it took was Klaus snapping his fingers and I did his bidding. I didn't want all the guilt to come flooding it, so I blocked it out. I quit caring. I had to."
"You gave up," Bonnie theorized.
Stefan nodded. "Call it a selfish, cowardly move, but I couldn't face my day-to-day life with all that baggage. So I became a monster. I know you never would have gone that route because you're a good person, Bonnie. You would have faced your fears."
"No, I'm a great person," the young witch in charge refuted vehemently. "And I would have." Pause. I'm too good for you."
Stefan couldn't disagree. "You are," he muttered meekly.
"You don't deserve me."
"I don't."
"You don't respect me."
"Bonnie…"
The young woman in question held up a hand. "If you respected me you would have been completely honest with me, Stefan. And I don't believe for one second that it slipped your mind and you conveniently forgot about that night." Pause. "Is it true?"
"Is what true?" Stefan responded softly. This wasn't going well at all. He expected that but he was caught up in quicksand with nary a rope to pull him free.
"Is it true that you and Damon were only concerned about Elena hating you for what you did to me and my mom? That you two didn't even spare us a second thought?"
Stefan incriminatingly looked away. Bonnie sucked in a massive amount of air to keep her sobs and rage from exploding from her chest. Little knickknacks around Stefan's room began to rattle and shake. The once blue sky became overcast and gunmetal gray.
"Say it," Bonnie demanded lowly.
Licking his dry lips, Stefan used up the reserves in his courage to say the one thing to Bonnie he never wanted to say to her.
"Yes, it was true. Damon and I…we're disgusting," he whispered the last part as tears began to line the bottom of his eyes. "All we cared about…our only motivation for getting up in the morning, for not ripping each other to shreds was Elena. If we hurt each other we hurt her. After a while her friends…her family…became nothing but collateral damage. We just didn't care about anyone apart from her."
"Thank you for your honesty, you fucking pig."
Stefan's eyebrow twitched. "You didn't care much for Damon and me, and yes we never gave you any reason to, but if we dropped dead you wouldn't have batted an eyelash."
Bonnie's widened and her nostrils flared in indignation. "Are you seriously going to go there with me? That is not the same and you know it! I never pretended to be anything I wasn't to fit into some girl's world. I never lied about where we stood."
"Everything I've told you since that morning up on the bluff has been nothing but the truth, Bonnie. About how you make me feel. Yes, I fucked up big by not telling you what happened that night, and I will regret it for the rest of my life, but it won't change this fact. Loving and being with Elena was turning me into someone I couldn't stand to look at in the mirror. I can't place all the blame on her because I made choices that blew up in my face. I chose to go down a dark road because…because I didn't know where else to go.
"When you see someone you love leaving you whether it's emotionally or physically it makes you desperate and stupid. Four months ago, I listened to some wrong advice, and it was fucking me up, and I was fucking up everything around me. It was one mistake after another. Then you reentered my life when I seriously considered ending it. And you made me want to fight to become a man that people could respect and trust. You're the only good part of me, Bonnie, and yeah I took you, your mom, and your lives for granted, and it makes me sick that I could do that to you, but I'm sorry."
"After the fact people become sorry about a lot of things," Bonnie intoned. "People come to expect me to help them and I do. But am I ever going to mean more to someone than a prior girlfriend? Is anyone at anytime going to put me first?"
Stefan nodded infinitesimally because he understood what Bonnie was asking without her needing to clarify. She was thinking of Jeremy's betrayal with Anna on top of what he and Damon had done.
Bonnie sniffled. "You don't have to answer that. I need to learn how to put myself first, and from this moment forward I am. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to have anything else to do with you. I have to go." Bonnie began to stomp her way to the door but Stefan shifted and blocked her escape.
"Bonnie, please don't go. There's still so much more we need to talk about."
"No there isn't. I know you're not the same person you were four months ago, but the fact of the matter is…your omission, your lies has ruined everything. How am I supposed to trust anything you say or do, Stefan? I can't be with someone I don't trust or feel safe around. And I was learning to feel safe again."
Stefan reached out to touch her but Bonnie drew away. His hand fell limply back to his side. "Just…give me some time."
"Time for what?"
The caramel-haired vampire honestly didn't know. What he did know was that he was grasping at straws and that he owed Ric a visit.
"I want to make this right."
"There's nothing you can do to make it right," Bonnie argued and with the twitch of her powers she shoved Stefan aside, and had one foot outside of the bedroom door.
"Bonnie…you need to know this before you go."
"I'm done talking."
"I'm not finished."
"We are finished."
"You don't know everything."
Bonnie spun around to face him. "What else could there possible be left to know?"
His phantom heart was racing. "You need to know I love you."
The fight, the pounding of her heart, all of it was drowned by the sound of his voice, the sound of his confession.
Her eyes became a flash flood and for one fleeting second Bonnie allowed herself to fly off to the moon before bursting into star dust. Yet a second later she subsequently came screaming back down to earth and burst into flames the minute she hit the stratosphere. Disintegrated into pieces where by the time she reached the earth's surface nothing was recognizable or salvageable.
More than anything Bonnie wanted to believe Stefan. Wanted to believe that he felt genuine love for her, and wasn't saying it to save face or try to manipulate her. For eighteen years which wasn't very long but a lifetime for her, her lifetime Bonnie wanted to hear those three little words from someone she had deep, unchartered feelings for. And for Stefan to say them now after his lies and deceit had been exposed by a third party and not from the source itself, cheapened things. She was conflicted enough as it was unsure if now would be the time to open up how spending the last few months with Stefan had repaired the damage done to her heart from earlier in the year.
Anyone else might have been able to forgive Jeremy for his indiscretion, but it was more than just a kiss. Jeremy only loved Anna therefore he felt nothing for her, Bonnie reasoned, or at the very least wasn't open to loving her because he was still carrying a torch for his dead vampire girlfriend. A torch that was discovered the second he was granted the ability to see and converse with ghosts.
If she never brought Jeremy back from the dead, if he hadn't been shot to begin with, would they have gotten to the point where they openly admitted how they felt about one another? Bonnie didn't have the answer, and sadly they would never get to find out. Cheating was a deal breaker for Bonnie.
However, that left her in the dark on what to do about Stefan.
Stefan began to fidget as the silence continued to expand between them. This wasn't the way he wanted to tell Bonnie the depth of his feelings, but seeing he might not ever have another opportunity he decided to take it. Despite what he had done, the mistakes he's made, the lies he told, he hoped Bonnie would see he wasn't the type to hurl those words around pointlessly knowing of their impact. Especially for her.
He loved her. He was in love with her. Stefan would do whatever it took to prove those words to Bonnie even if she roasted his brain alive anytime he got within five feet of her.
"If you believe nothing else, believe that I'm in love with you. And I have been for a while."
What's a while? Bonnie wanted to question. A day, fifteen minutes, a month?
Stefan slowly started to approach seeing that her defenses were lowered for the moment. "I wake up in the morning and you're the first person I think of. You're on my brain right before I go to sleep and you're constantly in my thoughts throughout the day. I love everything about you. Your intelligence, your strength, your wisdom, your old soul, the fact you like to dip Cheetos in applesauce. Your smile. I could look at your smile all day and not get tired of it. I love the sound of your heart and the way it pauses for a bit whenever I get close to you. It's doing it right now."
He was clouding her judgment, but Bonnie was resolved to hang on to several horrible truths about Stefan. He could say what he liked but it wasn't going to change facts.
Stefan was less than three feet away. "I love your feistiness and the fact you always strive to do the right thing even if it means a personal cost to you. You're the bravest person I know, Bonnie. Head strong, independent, cute, sexy, so fucking sexy," he trailed his eyes over her entire body. Bonnie shifted a bit. "Physical attributes aside, you're a part of me now. The part I want to protect and shield and I'll even protect you from myself. I don't deserve you, but I want to earn the right to be with you. There's nothing I can do that can make up for the deplorable way I hurt you and Abby, but please…let me…give me a chance to try. Just give me a chance."
Bonnie's mouth opened, closed, opened once more. She was so close to giving in. No one had ever been so thorough in letting her know what she meant to them. Tingles and goose bumps rippled on her skin, and those cold black voids in her heart were filled but no, she couldn't go there. Stefan was a professional liar. His survival depended it on.
"I have to go," she repeated and vanished.
Rejected.
Sighing, cursing, and clearing items off his desk with the sweep of his arm, Stefan tugged on his hair and placed his hands on his hips. His eyes focused on the ceiling. He would do whatever it took to get Bonnie back. But first he had a stop to make.
Crisp spring air filled their lungs as they sat on a park bench and watched as the coming rays of sunlight began to dissipate the fog that still lingered over the hunter green grass. Caroline cast a sidelong glance at her best friend who had summoned her out of bed at the ass crack of dawn saying she needed to vent. So far the only person or thing venting was the birds unable to find a slimy worm to eat.
"Bonnie, what's going on? We've been sitting out here for close to an hour."
They might have been sitting in silence didn't mean Bonnie hadn't had an entire conversation with Caroline in her head. Unfortunately her vocal cords chose not to utter a single sound. Knowing her inner turmoil wouldn't be placated or quieted, Bonnie began telling Caroline everything there was to tell.
"Stefan is in love with me but how can I trust him when he was supposed to kill me that night Abby was turned? Our fates came down to a coin toss. A coin toss! Can you believe that?"
"Aww, he loves you!" Caroline gushed. "Sorry girl moment out of the way," she finished sheepishly.
Bonnie shook her head. No matter how bad things got Caroline always strove to see the silver lining.
Caroline rubbed Bonnie's arm affectionately. "Now on to business. Let me make sure I have everything straight. So this whole time Stefan knew he was the one who was supposed to do it and he never once confessed? Alaric was the one who told you when you dropped the herbs off at his apartment yesterday. You confronted Stefan and he ends things by saying he's in love with you."
Bonnie nodded absently. "What am I supposed to do with that? Forget everything that was said before that moment? I mean, if you were me what would you do?"
"You only have two options, Bon, and all you can do is follow your instincts. You know the truth now of what happened and how exactly Stefan feels for you."
"But I don't believe him," Bonnie whined petulantly.
"I know enough about Stefan Salvatore to know he would never say 'I love you' if he didn't mean it. Unlike his brother he doesn't play with people's emotions that way, and he knows the seriousness of saying those words to someone you're dating. He wouldn't say them lightly."
"That's all well and good but how could I ever look at him and not think about the fact he could have killed me? How am I supposed to get past that?"
Caroline had been in a similar situation. Tyler, while still sired to Klaus had been ordered to bite her knowing a bite from a werewolf was fatal to vampires. When they reunited briefly on her birthday and their make out session turned a little too heated, Tyler nicked her with a canine leaving Caroline ripe for Klaus' picking to swoop in, save her life, and make her and her mother indebted to him. Caroline had been salty with Tyler for not trying to fight harder against the sire bond, but now he was off in the Blue Ridge Mountains doing everything in his power to rid himself of the urge to please Klaus, and return to her as his own person once again.
She had forgiven Tyler, no longer hanging the incident over his head. At one point she even contemplated breaking things off when Tyler said he'd do anything for Klaus as a show of his gratitude for rescuing him from a lifetime of painful lycanthrope transformation every full moon.
Yet the young vampire realized she and Bonnie were different people. Where Caroline's capacity to forgive those who did her dirty bordered on supernatural, Bonnie held on to things, remembered past hurts and used them to keep people from getting too close to her. Stefan certainly had his work cut out for him.
"I don't know what to tell you, Bonnie other than to say give it time. Yes, Stefan fucked up by not telling you the truth when your relationship took a turn towards the L word, but I honestly believe he kept quiet so you wouldn't feel the hurt and pain you're feeling right now."
"So it's better to live in ignorance? Is that what you're telling me?"
Caroline shifted on the bench until her knees crashed into Bonnie's. "No, what I'm saying is…I've been where you are. There was a point where I wanted to throw in the towel with Tyler because he was putting Klaus in front of our relationship. He bit me because Klaus told him, and I could say the whole thing was an accident, that he didn't mean it, it doesn't change the action.
"Neither you nor Stefan could have imagined you'd be here. He never thought things would end the way they did with Elena. You never thought Jeremy would cheat on you. But these things happen. Stefan never thought he'd ever find someone good in his life, someone he could love, and he has. In you, and he didn't want to take the risk of losing you, which I can understand. Do you love him, Bonnie?"
Mutely, Bonnie nodded. "I do."
Caroline smiled and patted Bonnie's knee, looking smug. "I thought so. I'm not saying you should brush everything under the rug and move forward, and act like everything is sunshine and rainbows, but in this situation you have to let the good outweigh the bad, but more than that take into account you two love each other."
Bonnie wasn't too sure she could do that. There had been so much bad that the good paled in comparison, but she had to admit that her time with Stefan did put more smiles than frowns on her face. And yes, she loved him but was it enough?
"Despite knowing how he feels and how you feel…you're still done with him?" Caroline asked.
Bonnie nodded.
Caroline wanted to encourage Bonnie to give Stefan a chance to earn her forgiveness, but for now she knew anything she'd say would only fall on deaf ears. Bonnie was notoriously obstinate when it came to matters of the heart. She dealt in absolutes. They were no such things as gray areas with her.
"What's the plan from here on out?" Caroline asked.
"I don't know yet. I thought about taking off for a few days. Clear my head."
"I can come with you."
"The dance is tonight. You've put in so much work you can't miss it."
"Oh, who cares about a stupid dance! We go to like fifty a year."
Bonnie snorted. If that wasn't the truth. "For now…I just want to be alone."
"Nope, as your best friend I can't let you throw a one-woman pity party. I can bring snacks and The Notebook," the overly enthusiastic vampire batted her eyelashes.
Bonnie presented a lopsided grin. "Thanks, but…I think you'll want to go to our last ever decade's dance."
Caroline's brow furrowed. "Why?"
Bonnie rose from the bench and held out her hand. Caroline accepted and was pulled to her feet. The two long time friends began to head back to their parked cars.
"Spoiler alert," Bonnie said, "someone will be there in a spiffy black suit and hat waiting to spin you around the dance floor."
Caroline's eyes became as wide as saucers and as bright as headlights. "No!"
"Just try to act surprised," Bonnie smiled. "I'll let you know where I'm going once I get there, Care."
"I really wish you'd let me tag along."
"Maybe next time."
As far as Alaric Saltzman was concerned he wasn't late on his rent so he didn't understand why someone was banging on his door like he stole something or tried to murder someone. Not lately by his calendar but it had been an all-around slow month.
Heading towards his door with his button down hanging open, he looked out the peephole and grinned. Throwing open the only thing separating him from freedom, Alaric leaned against the door and folded his arms over his chest.
"Hey, I wasn't…"
CRACK! His nose exploded and a fissure of blood squirted into the air. The disgruntled teacher stumbled backwards, his hand instinctively reaching up to staunch the flow of blood that poured from his now broken nose. Tears gathered in his eyes.
"Stefan…"
The vampire in question wasn't here to talk or ask questions. He would allow his fists and whatever else to get his very elemental point across. Stepping over the threshold Stefan slammed the door shut.
Alaric held up a hand knowing that wouldn't do anything to stop Stefan from wiping one end of his apartment with his ass to the other. So he stood to his full height, towering over the incensed vampire, and licked at the blood coating his top lip.
Stefan's fangs lengthened and he'd love nothing more than to bury them deep within Alaric's temptingly thick neck as retribution, but he clamped a leash on his bloodlust and got back to the matter at hand.
"I'm guessing by the fact my nose is broken and I sound like a telephone operator…you talked to Bonnie. Hey…a sweet girl like that needed to know what kind of monster she was dating."
Oh, yeah and did he have the same heart-to-heart with Elena? Stefan doubted it. And he was sure it wouldn't have mattered either way to remind Elena that Damon snapped Jeremy's neck right in front of her. The girl had the worst case of selective memory of anyone he knew, but they were all guilty of it to a certain degree.
Zooming over to Alaric, Stefan grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and head butted him before punching him again.
That sent the tall man sailing to the floor where he landed on his belly and skidded a little. Stefan raised his foot more than ready to break his leg or maybe sever his spine, but he stopped. How was this going to help his case in trying to prove to Bonnie that he was a reformed and rehabilitated blood drinker? The Stefan of Old was gone and in his place was what exactly?
A vampire who still sat out to use his power and fist to right a wrong that he made in the first damn place?
Alaric awkwardly looked over his shoulder and saw uncertainty mar Stefan's visage. Chuckling deeply, he slowly pulled himself to a seated position.
"You just don't have it in you to go full evil vampire. I guess that might be admirable but it's only a life."
"Shut up!"
"Hey, who's not a sucker for angst-filled romances that have inevitable death tacked on the end? But I mean come on, Stefan. I think it's time for you to face some hard facts." Alaric paused to give Stefan the opportunity to jump in and defend himself. He didn't so he kept going. "The first fact you need to face is that you'll never totally be over Elena and by some extent Katherine."
Stefan blinked in confusion. "Katherine? What does she have to do with anything? I never loved her. I think you have your brothers mixed up."
Alaric hunched a shoulder. "Well, Damon may have carried a torch for her longer than Odysseus was stranded from home, but you were the one to fall for Elena first. Elena who I don't need to remind you is Katherine's doppelganger. If that doesn't say 'I can't get over my ex' I don't know what does. In all this time have you loved anyone who wasn't a Petrova?"
Stefan's jaw ticked. He couldn't answer the question. There had been Rebekah back in the 20's, but he was compelled to forget her existence, and when his memories were returned, how he felt for her during the height of his ripper days was notably absent. Having her in his life was like facing your one night stand and not being able to escape. But no, he never loved her either.
There were lot of women he fucked and even more he killed, but none he loved. Until Elena.
Now Bonnie.
"You're still smarting over the fact your brother is screwing your old girlfriend. Completely understandable and if I had a brother who did that to me, well I'd kick his ass good. But if I were in your shoes, as a way of revenge I definitely would hook up with one of my ex's friends. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad you went after Bonnie."
"You don't know anything about my relationship or the way I feel about her, and if I were you I'd stop talking right now before I make you stop."
Alaric winked. "There's the spirit. Between Caroline, who is great by the way a little too bubbly and energized for my taste, but between Caroline and Bonnie, my pick would have been Bonnie as well. Lord knows that girl is more tight than a…"
He didn't get to finish his sentiment as he was punched nearly into next week.
"You watch your gotdamn mouth, Alaric!"
Rubbing his throbbing jaw that felt like it was hanging on by a precarious thread, Alaric chuckled darkly.
"I'm just trying to understand you, Stefan. You've done so much foul stuff all in Elena's name, she breaks up with you, and two seconds later you're dating her best friend. I don't know about you but it all smells shady to me. Bonnie is lovely but she's no Elena Gilbert. The girl everyone loves and you have to admit that somewhere deep, deep down you still love her, too. Damon told me you trashed his room. "
Stefan pulled a face. "So the fuck what? That happened months ago."
"That anger is still in you, Stefan. You're a scorned man walking around pretending that your boo-boo is all healed. You might try to convince yourself you're over being humiliated by Damon and Elena and you've moved on to greener pasture, but how do you know for certain? If Elena were here right now…"
"I'm not listening to this. I came here to do one thing and that's to tell you to stay away from Bonnie. Don't even talk to her or me ever again because if you do that'll be the last thing you do."
"Oh, did you…did you two break up or something?"
Stefan pursed his lips.
Alaric began laughing. Wildly and loudly. And it was something in that laugh that set Stefan off. He reacted, moved without conscious thought and the next thing he heard was Alaric's body hitting the floor, and the last thing his eyes registered was the fact the teacher's head was oddly twisted to the point he resembled an owl scouting for prey and predators alike.
"Shit," Stefan cursed and ran his fingers through his hair. He stood over Alaric knowing it would be pointless and idiotic to check for a pulse. He did search for the man's left hand to see if he were wearing his protection ring. He was. Stefan sighed in relief and then beat a hasty retreat.
He hadn't meant to kill Alaric. But the man was responsible for breaking up his relationship as if he were doing anyone but himself a favor. Hopefully there wouldn't be any dire repercussions from what he just did and set things back to square one on Alaric's road to recovery.
As Stefan drove like a madman from the scene of the crime he went over his interaction with Alaric with a fine tooth comb. The man had been insufferably cocky, which was unlike the Alaric he knew. And it seemed Ric wanted Stefan to lose control, but why? He baited him, poked his buttons until he found the right one that would make him lose it.
Stefan banged his hand against the steering wheel. Had he just unwittingly unleashed Evil Alaric, or had he already been out playing with no one being none the wiser?
Slapping another shirt in her suitcase, Bonnie nibbled her lip and wondered if she was packing too much. She liked being prepared, but from the way her suitcase was flirting with overflowing, one would think she was about to transplant herself on another continent. It was a nice idea, all things considered, but she just needed to get out of Mystic Falls, clear her head, and make some decisions.
Her cell phone started playing a distinct ringtone that let her know it was Elena calling. Blowing out a frustrated breath, Bonnie stared at her phone mentally going back and forth whether or not to answer. The two of them haven't spoken in weeks, and only caught glimpses of one another at school. It was odd being at odds with someone she's known for practically her whole life, but she and Elena weren't those little girls who ate out of each other's lunchboxes, played in the woods, and complied list of Hollywood actors they wanted to lose their virginity to.
Hitting the answer button, Bonnie held up her phone to her ear. "Hello."
"You…answered. I didn't think you would."
I almost didn't, that declaration had been on the tip of Bonnie's tongue. Instead she allowed her silence to fill the air.
Elena cleared her throat. "I'm sure you're wondering why I'm calling, and I…um…Caroline called me and said that you were going through a tough time, and I wanted to see how you're doing."
Bonnie would add choking Caroline on her list of things to do once she returned from her impromptu trip. Thankfully, Caroline hadn't divulged any details but the point she opened up her mouth to Elena made Bonnie's blood pressure rise a little.
"Bonnie? What happened to us? How did we get so far off track?"
Ask the Salvatore's.
"I'm sorry, Elena but I really don't have time for this. I was in the middle of something."
"Bon…okay…I know I didn't handle learning about your relationship with Stefan well and I'm sorry I wasn't supportive when you've always been there for me. If something is going on, you can talk to me."
Bonnie tucked her lips under her teeth and felt her own tears threatening to spill. She was fighting against fifteen years of habit in spilling out her little soul to Elena, but she couldn't go there. Bonnie was just too raw. As much as Elena meant to her, Elena was the crux of some of the problems in her life, and Bonnie needed to get away from that.
"Thank you for apologizing, Elena, but I can't talk to you about this. There's just so much that's built up…I want us to be close how we were, but I just don't see how that's possible right now."
"So we're not friends anymore?"
Bonnie sighed. She could hear the coming tears in Elena's voice. "People grow apart."
"I never thought we'd ever be those people."
"Elena, stop living in a fantasy and wake the hell up! Your boyfriend killed my mother. I will never be okay with that or him. You love him, I get it. I don't understand it, but it's your relationship and I'm staying out of it. But the fact you're with him even after knowing all this…As far as anything involving me goes…look a lot is going on right now. So just try to be happy. Someone out of the bunch has to be. I have to go."
"Bonnie…"
Click.
Tossing her phone on the bed, Bonnie worried her bottom lip. Her chin quivered and she wanted nothing more than to go back in time where it was just she, Caroline, and Elena—The Three Musketeers—a pack of boy crazy broads having fun and trying to pass all their classes.
She did miss Elena. More than anything. But there was just too much hurt, pain, garbage, and resentment there that trying to dig up and resurrect their old friendship this late in the game was a daunting task Bonnie didn't have the energy for. Maybe one day they could reclaim what they had, but for right now she was okay with letting go. She would look at their separation as a good thing. They hadn't been growing much when they were together, stuck forever in the same small town mentality. They needed this to grow up and find out who they were.
Bonnie didn't know who she was beyond being Elena Gilbert's sidekick and the resident witch. There was more to her than that.
A tear fell and rolled down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away, and it wasn't before long that more joined the program. Zipping up her suitcase, Bonnie grabbed her purse, and stuffed pertinent items inside, shut off the light to her bedroom, and hightailed it downstairs.
The minute she was done leaving her wayward father a note of her possible whereabouts should he ever come home this century, Bonnie strolled through the atrium but stopped.
Someone rang the doorbell.
Her heart instantly went into overdrive expecting it to be Stefan. Bonnie wasn't sure if she reiterated her sentiments after the first time she told him to leave her alone, but she was sure the message was more than clear. However, Bonnie was well aware of how persistent Stefan could be when he was after something, wanted something. That made dread fill her belly.
Stretching her powers a little to see if she could pick up the signature of the person breathing heavily on her porch, Bonnie detected nothing supernatural. So that meant her visitor was human.
Peeking through the curtain, Bonnie relaxed a little and tossed open the door. It was Jeremy and he was dressed in a suit.
Bonnie stared up at him. She couldn't remember the last time she stood this close to Jeremy but she couldn't have felt more like a shrimp. It was like one minute he went to Denver this lean emo teenager and came back taller and sporting muscles. In fact his muscles had muscles.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Bonnie asked and then leaned a little to the right to see there was a limo idling by the curb.
"Hey," Jeremy began nervously. He knew he was taking a chance showing up here unannounced, but he was over biding his time and hanging on the sidelines. Jeremy knew that Bonnie and Stefan had a thing now, but he didn't care. Things between he and Bonnie ended on an anticlimactic cliffhanger, and something woke Jeremy out of his sleep this morning telling him now was the time to get himself back into the game. "I know this is extremely out of left field but I was wondering if you wanted to ride with me to the dance."
Bonnie snorted. If the dance had taken place long before she and Stefan got involved, Bonnie would have given in.
"It's a sweet gesture, but I'm not going to the dance, Jeremy."
Cue confused look. "Oh, but I figured you'd be going with Stefan…"
"I'm not going. I was just about to head out of town."
"With Stefan?"
"No," Bonnie deadpanned.
Jeremy knew that look and what the tone of her voice symbolized. He had been on the receiving end of both. Things were looking up in his favor already and he wouldn't have to trade niceties with the vampire who basically stole his girl.
Okay, so Bonnie stopped being his girl the minute he sucked face with Anna, but it was a mistake. A fleeting moment where he foolishly rekindled something that should have remained dead. Granted the timing couldn't have been more horrible, but Jeremy wasn't that big of an idiot not to realize the huge mistake he made in allowing Bonnie to slip between his fingers like sand.
"I really need to get on the road, Jeremy."
"Right, sorry," he turned to walk down the steps but stopped and refaced Bonnie. "We've been through a lot, Bonnie…"
Oh, no, Bonnie lamented internally. She was emotionally drained and not in the mood to have another heart-to-heart with anyone.
Bonnie walked out on the porch and placed her fingers over Jeremy's mouth to silence him.
"I'm sure you were going to say something along the lines of: you didn't mean to hurt me. You made a mistake. Wish you could take it all back. Wish things didn't end the way they did blah, blah, blah. And I'm sure you would mean everything you're saying. I'm just tired, Jeremy. Tired of being the odd man out. Look, I'm not mad at you anymore. You had to follow your heart. It just wasn't pointing in my direction. I was angry about that for a very long time, but I'm over it now."
Jeremy slid her tiny fingers off his mouth and held on to her hand. "You're over it? I never got to apologize for hurting you. I'm sorry, Bonnie."
"There, you apologized."
Jeremy snorted and then smiled ruefully. "I knew I could count on your for not making this easy. No, seriously, I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry that I did. I was being stupid. Out of my girlfriends, you were the best one."
Best didn't mean favorite, Bonnie thought and smiled sadly.
Jeremy returned her smile with a tentative one. "If you were going to the dance, I would have asked for the honor to spin you out on the floor."
Bonnie's smile was tremulous. "As I recall you didn't want to cut up the floor during the 60's dance."
"Well, in my defense I was preoccupied with you wanting to use the power of a hundred witches to stop Klaus knowing it could go hand-in-hand with your death. Didn't exactly put me in a lets boggie kind of mood."
"Fair enough. But that was the past, Jeremy and I think for the longest time we've all been living in it for too long. We need to grow up, move on, find ourselves. I just don't see that happening at yet another Mystic Falls High sponsored hoedown. I think your limo driver is getting impatient."
Jeremy looked behind him and gestured wildly for more time. He faced Bonnie for what he already knew would be the last time this evening. "You sure there's nothing I can say or do to change your mind?"
Resolutely Bonnie shook her head.
"It was worth a short," Jeremy shrugged nonchalantly. He bent a little and kissed Bonnie's cheek. "Be careful on the road."
"I will. And try to have fun tonight."
"That's unlikely but I'll give it my best shot. Good night, Bonnie."
"Good night, Jeremy."
Bonnie remained on the porch and watched Jeremy climb into the back of the limo. The sleek black vehicle pulled away moments later and continued on to its destination. Sighing, Bonnie grabbed her suitcase and purse from inside, shut the door, and locked it.
When she turned around Stefan was standing there. She jumped in surprise.
They had been apart for less than twelve hours but it did nothing to dampen that feeling in her heart whenever she laid eyes on him. It irritated her to no end that Stefan could still illicit a response from her.
"What are you doing here?" Bonnie inquired brusquely.
"I talked to Caroline and after cursing me out from here to Timbuktu, she reluctantly told me you were leaving town for a few days."
"And?"
"I just…I wanted to see you before you left."
Silence.
"Well, you saw me. I need to go and you better not follow me." Bonnie reached for the handle of her suitcase to pull it after her, but Stefan beat her to the punch. "I can handle my own things."
Stefan ignored her and carried her bag to the trunk of her car. Sighing in deep displeasure, Bonnie popped the trunk.
She nearly ripped the driver side door off its hinges when she opened it. Bonnie threw her purse inside, and was two seconds from getting behind the wheel when she felt Stefan at her back.
"You have every right to hate me," he whispered against her ear. "I deserve it, but I don't want you to leave without doing one thing."
"What?"
"The Light" by The Album Leaf began to play.
This rotten bastard, Bonnie thought miserably. She twisted her neck to scowl up at him disapproval.
Stefan stared back at her, his hand stretched out, palm facing the sky. "One minute."
No, he didn't get to unload what he did and expect her to just give him one minute of her time in the driveway of her house in some romantic cliché.
Bonnie studied his proffered limb before finding those deep-set bluish-green eyes that were watching her very carefully.
If she gave into to this one small albeit monumental request what else would Stefan ask of her that she wouldn't be able to deny him? He had been the one to convince her to find a way when there was no way in the past. But he never exactly encouraged her to do and learn magic expressly for herself.
Bonnie faced him. Her hand twitched but she shook her head. "I'm out of minutes, Stefan." Hastily Bonnie clamored behind the wheel, slammed the door shut, and throttled the engine.
Stefan jumped out of the way before the tires of Bonnie's car clipped his toes. So much for that.
A sharp gasp ruptured the eerie silence of the one bedroom efficiency. Alaric snapped up and automatically began rubbing at his sore and fully healed neck. He looked around his apartment before looking down at himself. There was blood splatter on his chest and his shirt was wrinkled, evidence of being clutched in a pair of irate fists.
Getting to his feet, Alaric headed for his bathroom where he washed his face and chest, and tried to repair the damage done to his nose. There were dark, half moons under his eyes, and the bridge of his nose was flared and discolored. He wasn't vain enough to care about that.
Changing his shirt, Alaric loaded himself with weapons, stuffing his pockets until it would be a hazard for him to sit down. He stopped in the kitchen long enough to drink a tongue numbing swig of bourbon and grabbed his keys.
The moment of truth. Reaching for the door handle, he wrenched it open and took one bold step for mankind and met…absolutely no resistance. Flicking the lapels of his new button down, Alaric walked out in the hallway, locked up his bachelor pad, and began to whistle a little tune. It was time to party!
Chapter end.
A/N: Since this was never explored on the show (like many things) I thought wouldn't it be interesting that a way to break being compelled is dying and then coming back—for a human? Since it was discovered that if an Original compels a vampire and subsequently dies, then that vampire is no longer under compulsion. Well since Ric has a ring to bring him back from the dead, all he would need was something supernatural to kill him, and volia he's free of Damon's compulsion to stay in his apartment. I have to admit I kind of like writing Evil Alaric because his character can say and behave as ratchet without having to worry about tipping over to OOC territory. How did you guys like the Stefonnie version of "These Are My Confessions"? Mr. Stefan has his work cut out for him because Bonnie has had it up to here with just about everyone apart from Caroline and Matt. Stay tuned for more. Until next time, love you.