More Than Ever

Christmas loomed closer and Lily found her heart rate speeding up every time she looked at the calendar. She loved Hogwarts, and loved it dearly, but she missed her parents more. She got used to not seeing them as she went through the years, but it never lessened the feeling of excitement flooding her system when she knew Christmas was coming around. She was even humming to herself as she thought about packing all of her things up to get them home.

It was three weeks before the holiday break. Lily was counting down the days until she saw her parents again, until she had the chance to eat her mother's homemade cookies and catch up on all of the football games with her dad. James just laughed at her in all of her happy glory. He found the humming adorable and seemed just as excited about going home to his parents as she did.

They were playing wizard's chess in the common room after finishing the day's homework when a knock sounded on the portrait hole. Out of habit, Lily stiffened and James felt himself tense up too. A second later, the portrait opened of it's own accord and the headmaster stepped in.

"Ah, I'm glad you are both here," he said seriously. "There is some unfortunate news."

The words had Lily automatically moving around the table to sit on the couch beside James, her hand subconsciously finding his and squeezing tightly. James too was nervous about what news the headmaster was bringing.

"Miss Evans, Lily, I'm afraid your parents are gone."

Lily blinked, her automatic response denial. "Gone where? And they'll be back for Christmas, sir, they never miss a Christmas."

James was already disengaging his hand from hers to wrap his arms around her more fully.

Dumbledore smiled indulgently. "I wish it was that easy, my dear. Their bodies were found this morning in the remnants of your house."

James knew what that meant, even as he adjusted around Lily. The redhead had all but crawled into his lap by this point. "The Dark Mark, sir?"

"Floating above the wreckage," Dumbledore said softly. "I'm afraid Voldemort killed your parents."

Lily had no idea how to react. Dead? Her parents were dead? "But, sir, I don't understand. I didn't… No one knew…" Then it hit her and hit her hard. There was only one person who knew where her parents lived, the only person she'd ever told – Beka and Katie aside and Lily knew they'd never portray her confidence – and by this point, she wouldn't put it past him to tell one of her best kept secrets.

Dumbledore knew Lily had been protective of her parents' whereabouts. It was unfortunately commonplace in Hogwarts, the muggleborns too aware of the dangers Voldemort posed to share too much of their personal lives with people they did not trust unconditionally. He watched the young redhead take a breath, surprised that she hadn't broken down.

"Why?" she managed, forcing the tears back. "Why them?"

"There are many potential reasons," Dumbledore told her softly. "But we believe we have narrowed it down to one."

James was on the edge of his seat. While he knew Voldemort killed muggles for sport, he also knew he didn't target families of witches or wizards without good cause. Torturing muggles was one thing, but taking on the family of a witch or wizard often lost him leverage he needed to manipulate those with the potential of becoming Death Eaters. Or at least luring muggleborns towards their deaths.

"Miss Evans, have you ever found yourself pulled towards someone in pain, someone dying? Have you ever found yourself drawn to those that cannot take care of themselves?"

Lily could remember a few times where she had come across an unfortunate animal or a screaming child, not really understanding why or how it had come about. "I don't understand…"

"You, my dear, are not just an ordinary girl, nor are you an ordinary witch."

"Professor?" Even James was royally confused. It sounded like Dumbledore was talking in circles and he hadn't even started yet. "With all due respect, can you cut to the chase?"

"Miss Evans, has a very specific power, Mr Potter. It is magic that has not been seen for generations."

Lily shook her head. This was all just too much to process. "What do you mean? And how do you know I even have it if it hasn't been seen for generations?"

"I have seen you use it, my dear," Dumbledore answered. "You have a gift for healing, Miss Evans, am I correct?"

Lily blinked. She'd always had some sort of innate ability for picking up healing spells and all kinds of remedies. "I'm a quick study professor…"

"You are so much more than that," Dumbledore responded. "This is a gift, Lily."

"What kind of gift?" James asked, very used to the headmaster's circle speech. "She has an innate healing ability, that's prevalent in most of the healers at St Mungo's. How is Lily different?"

"Her power goes beyond that healing capacity. Miss Evans, you have the power to bring people back from the dead."

Lily froze. "Then I can bring my parents back?"

Hope shone in her eyes and Dumbledore felt his heart constrict. "I'm afraid not. Your parents have been killed by a trained and stronger magic than you currently possess. Voldemort's power comes from his concentrated hatred for everything muggle."

Tears sprung to Lily's eyes again, her heart breaking and hope fading. "Then why tell me this?"

"Because it's why Voldemort wants you. Or wants you dead."

Lily sat stunned. She hadn't even thought about the implications. She hadn't thought about anything past the fact that she had a power she didn't understand and she didn't have her parents.

James tightened his hold marginally, succeeding in his attempt to shift Lily's focus. "It makes sense, Tink," he said softly. "Voldemort doesn't kill parents of muggleborns for any old reason. He has a plan, he has a method, and I'd bet his goal was to get to you."

That did very little to assuage Lily's feelings. If anything, it only strengthened her feelings of guilt. Her parents had died because she was a witch. Not matter which way she looked at it, it was always going to turn out that way in the end. They were always going to be dead because she'd agreed to go to Hogwarts.

Petunia was right, Lily thought as the tears finally came. I am a freak.

James was unsure as to what set her off, but part of him was glad she'd finally broken down into body-shaking sobs. He looked to the headmaster, both of them afraid for the young woman who had just had the world dropped on her shoulders. The headmaster rose slowly to his feet.

"I will inform your teachers of your absence from class," he said softly, just loud enough for James to hear over Lily's sobs. "Keep an eye on her, Mr Potter. She's going to need you now more than ever."

And in true Dumbledore fashion, his cryptic words echoed as he left.

05-02-2008

Now we get into the changes, thank goodness. This'll hopefully give you more of an idea of why Lily is so wanted, especially now when she's easily manipulated. I mean, she just lost her parents and, in theory, she does have the ability to bring them back. The question becomes what is the right price for Lily's loyalty? James? Her parents? Her training?