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1.
We came out of the water at the same time, the only reason for that was that Jaz, like always, had let me walk ahead of him to watch my back. I said it was unnecessary and he ignored it. He'd been quiet for a while, so when I sat on the sand to make myself decent his deep voice came louder than I'd expect.
"No. And I mean it this time." Jaz could be such a buzz kill sometimes. I mean, I loved him in all his stubbornness, but sometimes it took a second longer than I wished it did to get him to just do something completely reasonable for me. Besides, it was hard to take him seriously when his angry face was such a turn on.
"But baby, it's only a few minutes away." I tried to get the sand off my hair. So maybe I'd skipped some little details that ended pushing us to swim a large part of the Atlantic all the way to Brazil, but seriously, where was the fun in taking a private jet everywhere? That just sounded boring to me, and this point in our relationship, we needed to do our best to keep the spark alive.
"That's what you said last time. I'm putting my foot down." I looked at him, looking entirely proud and pouty and although I did my best, I had to giggle. "Alice!" I straightened up and frowned. "You're not giggling your way out of this one! You said we would go to Paris for a week and now look at us. Where are we?" He said in a calm yet annoyed tone.
"In Isle Esme, maybe the safest place on this side of the Equator."
"Exactly. Safe. We are staying here, and we'll catch a plane to Seattle as soon as possible." Sigh. Fine, I'll have to take a different path. I checked just to make sure, and yup, it would work. I got up and took off my outer layer of clothes leaving only the gorgeous bikini I managed to pick up from Italy before we had to run away from the Volturi. I felt a twinge of regret thinking about that, if that little brat Jane hadn't wanted to talk to us so badly we could've stayed and gotten the other model they ordered for me. A bright red would've made all the difference and now I was stuck with the burgundy. Jaz, despite himself, looked at me while I undressed, and with that, I knew I was halfway there.
"Jaz, everything is going as it should. I stopped seeing everyone yesterday, so Bella is probably staying at our house now. That means that we'll be home by next week at the latest."
"That's what you said about Italy."
"Well, I didn't think they would make such a fuss about some friendly questions." Jaz looked at me gravely when I said that. Before now, I hadn't feared he would actually refuse.
"Alice, please listen to me. The Volturi are not to be meddled with. I saw them take down entire covens, with little to no effort." I sat down in front of him and grabbed his hands. After all these years, I knew with certainty that physical contact soothed Jasper.
"I know. That's why I did everything I could so they couldn't get to us. I've been watching out since then, but I didn't see anything. It's like we weren't there at all. So we should be fine." I knew he was still uncertain. So I used what worked better than any scheme or game I could ever conjure up. "I know this is an uncertain path, but there's one thing I know. Bella, is the future for our family. Something is changing whether we like it or not and we can do something about it or we can wait until it catches up with us. I think I know you agree, Jaz. I'd rather be prepared when that happens." He sighed, he knew I was being honest. He always listened extra carefully when I did that. He slid his hands down my waist and pulled me towards him. I climbed to his lap and put my arms over his shoulders.
"I wouldn't want you to get hurt, my darling." His southern accent always slipped when he said that.
"I don't want you to get hurt either. I want to keep you for the next hundred years at the very least." He smiled shyly. No one ever saw that side of him, not really. They were distracted by how scary they thought he was. I always found that funny.
"You won't get tired of this poor soldier?" I smiled, he had said that when I said I would marry him.
"Not for the next hundred years, or the hundred after." I had answered then. He leaned his forehead on mine and took a deep breath.
Tomorrow could wait. I moved so my lips could reach him, it took him less than a second to react to that.
There was always a risk with these kinds of escapades. Might as well make the most of it while we still could.
The jungle could wait for one more day.
2.
I thought it best to wait until she had stopped crying to approach her. Esme had just taken the lasagna out of the oven when that happened. Rosalie and Emmett left a half an hour after they got here, apparently Rosalie desperately needed to watch a movie in Seattle tonight. I knew they wouldn't be back until it was time for school, Carlisle had been adamant on that. After my indiscretion we would have to make an effort to appear normal, and they were the only ones left. I had already talked him into accepting that a day off for me would only be reasonable. He agreed, it was best if I took care of Bella anyway.
I took a deep breath that had no soothing effect on me and then I knocked the door as gently as possible. I heard a weak "Come in," so I opened the door. Bella was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. She had a box of tissues between her legs, her shoes were by the bed. I felt intrusive again, but the bags in my hand gave me a purpose. Surely, she would be more comfortable with other clothes.
"I brought you these. Rosalie got them for you." She looked surprised and embarrassed at the same time.
"You shouldn't have. I can't really afford them." She had stopped crying for a while. Her eyes had reddened but remained dry.
"They're a present. You don't have to worry about it." She sighed.
"Of course I do. First you take me in, and now you buy me clothes as well. You don't have to do this. Why even bother?" I frowned and walked up to her. She didn't seem to mind my proximity and I preferred to be close. She was in the middle of the huge bed so I sat in the corner, it was enough distance to make her comfortable. She was looking down at her hands, so she must have not minded that I sat down.
"We were all in your position once, when we changed." She frowned and looked up at me. What was she thinking? I had to pick off queues from her behavior only. I've seen it before, it meant she wanted me to continue. "I was the first to join Carlisle, the first days were overwhelming. I was crazed with thirst so for the first days I had no other concern than feeding," she didn't grimace at that so I continued "then I had some other concerns, like yours. Why should this man help me and provide for me?" Her mind was working, I saw with delight that her sadness had been replaced with reflection.
"But you could read his mind."She guessed correctly.
"Exactly." I said with a smile. "And there I saw the truth, he wanted to help me." A short lived smile appeared on her lips. "When the others came it was no exception. We all had the opportunity to stay and become part of his family, or move on, with his assistance. Material possessions mean next to nothing, to us Bella. I have never seen anyone turn down honest help, like Carlisle's. As part of his family we all share his vision, so we help each other and we help others in need of guidance. It is who we want to be." She looked at me for a moment that was so long that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave or not. Clearly, she was thinking about something, but her mind was quiet to me.
"You are really generous people, and I'm lucky that I met you." Her gratitude was overwhelmingly pleasing. I had little time to bask in satisfaction, for now she looked down"But I still think its unfair that I fell into your lap." I chuckled, that type of concern was meaningless.
"You didn't fell into our lap, it was more like I violently ran into you." She almost rolled her eyes at me. "In all honestly, Bella, you are the most exciting thing to happen to this family in ages." She gave me a full smile before returning to her saddened gaze with a slight shake of her head. Then, hesitantly, she asked.
"Where you human before? Is that what you meant when you said you changed?" once more I saw pain in her features, a pain I could not understand.
"Yes. A very long time ago, we all were." She frowned and concentrated deeply.
"I don't…" she said and paused, her eyes shut tightly and with her elbows supported on her knees she leaned forward so her hands would squeeze her temples. "I can't think of a time when I wasn't like this." She looked like she was in pain, but that shouldn't be possible.
"Are you all right?" I felt suddenly useless, like when she was having a bad dream earlier.
"Yes," she said with a sigh. "I just can't seem to think straight. Everything is getting mixed up in my head, it's as if I wasn't sure of what is a dream and what is reality. You know, like when you just woke up and the feelings and images of your dreams still linger? And for a second, you don't even know where you are." It seemed like a beautiful enough picture, to be dazed with the images of a different reality that belongs only to you.
"No, I don't." I wished that I dreamed so I could understand her. "I don't sleep." I said honestly, Bella seemed shocked for a moment before realizing very few things would be considered normal anymore so she let it go.
"Right. Well, it's like that. I don't understand why, I've had a perfect memory my whole life." This was strange, but perhaps it was normal for Bella. The questions I had about her existence grew with every second.
"Maybe not your long term memory. You said you'd never been thirsty before." She frowned and looked so sad I knew I had said the wrong thing. The feeling that certainty produced in me was terrible.
"I guess you're right." There was and endless pause that made me uncomfortable. I was not sure if she wanted to dismiss me.
"Dinner is ready, would you like something to eat?" She sighed.
"I think I'm just going to stay here for a while." She said in a lower voice, her interest had receded and the only thing left was her sadness again.
"Very well, if you need anything…" She nodded and I accepted I had to leave regardless of my wishes. I closed the door after I left the room. To my dismay, there was nothing I could think of to make her leave the room. Perhaps she needed a moment alone, and I was selfishly trying to come out of the room. Selfishly, because I enjoyed her company and the interest she ignited in me. I went downstairs in shame, while Carlisle was still in his study, Esme was downstairs. She heard our exchange but she wanted to hear my perspective, she thought I knew her better than they did. I honestly felt that wasn't true.
How is she? She asked. She was in the living room reading a book, I sat next to her.
"She won't leave the room, but I have the feeling that she could use some company. I dislike the thought of her being by herself upstairs." She smiled at me and put her hand on my back. I think it's sweet how much you worry about her. She is strong, she will be fine, but time is needed for these kinds of things. Just this morning she had a different life, that can be very disorienting even for the brightest minds. I sighed, only because I wished it was not true. Time, which was not usually a problem, seemed a price too great to pay.
"I suppose." Esme never missed my stubbornness. It took me a moment to realize how pathetic I was being, I needed something to do. I left the couch and walked to my piano. I had remembered the melody from before, that would occupy my time and my mind. Esme smiled. Upstairs, I heard Bella sobbing gently one more time, I sat firmly on the piano stool, forcing myself to stay where I was and give her some privacy. Esme heard her too and felt really sad for her, but unlike me, her need to go upstairs to comfort her was less intense than her need to give her space. This only made me feel worse for my behavior. So I played.
That's a very good idea. She thought and a wave of happiness filled her when I played the first keys. Soon it was easy to lose myself in the music and the hard work that was composing a new song. Be that as it may, I was still playing close attention to Bella, and I heard her quiet sobs turning into slow breathing, until finally, I was sure that she was asleep. I smiled, thinking that maybe she'd heard the music and it had helped her calm down. Like a lullaby.
I think Bella enjoyed the music. Thought Esme as she stood beside me and kissed my temple. I knew happiness that I had never known before. It was usually simple to get my way, and there was satisfaction to it. This was very different. I thought I hadn't helped her, but I did. And now she was sleeping calmly, in a place where she didn't feel so sad and alone. I kept playing, maybe if he kept hearing the music in her sleep she would remain where she wanted to be.
3.
I'd fallen asleep to Edward's playing, so when I woke up I knew it was probably early. I looked at a very expensive looking alarm clock by the night stand, it said it was 2:45. I couldn't hear anything so I didn't know if anyone was home, but I was so hungry that I didn't feel embarrassed to leave my room and look for food. Before that, I changed my clothes. I was certain Rosalie didn't like me, but she had been kind enough to pick clothes I would actually like, and she was accurate in her choice of size. She'd even gotten me some incredibly comfortable sweats.
I put some dark red sweatpants on, the fit was a little tighter than I had expected but they were better than my dirty jeans. Then I took out a gray long sleeve cotton shirt, that again, was tighter than I would've picked. Then I ventured out of my room. The house was dark, except for somewhere in the next floor. There was very quiet music coming from it that I hadn't heard before in the room.
It was old music, big band jazz for all I knew. I had a hunch it was Edward, and since I was already feeling adventurous, I went to the next floor and followed the light and the music. The door was open, so by the time I was peeking in he turned to see me and it was too late to run away as embarrassed as I was.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" I said turning all shades of red. He smiled. I'd never seen him so relaxed.
"Don't be silly, Bella, come in." He'd been sitting on the floor leaning on a large dark couch. A couple of books were scattered in neat piles around him and one book was open over his lap, the low music was still playing in the background, it came from a very sophisticated sound system I'd never dare to touch. "Did you have a good rest?" then he frowned and looked at the clock. "Do you usually sleep for such short hours?" I smiled because for once in his life, Edward seemed completely inadequate. He had no idea of my habits, so he didn't even know what to ask. As usual he looked concerned. I walked in his room and sat on the dark couch, far enough from him that it didn't feel weird. After all, I had just barged into his room.
"Not really, but I went to bed so early, it messed up my sleeping schedule." then I remembered what had made it possible for me to sleep in the first place. "Was that you playing earlier?" He still looked concerned.
"Yes. Did the music wake you up? I could turn it off if it bothers you." I shook my head. A quick memory of Jake listening to loud rock music in the middle of the night came to me. If I could sleep through that, this was nothing. I stopped thinking about Jake for a minute, even when I wondered what he might be doing at this moment.
"No, I woke up because I'm hungry. I didn't even hear the music until I came upstairs." For the look on his face, I just knew he was making a mental note of everything I said. He was on his feet in a second.
"Would you like me to get something for you?" he looked like the most diligent waiter in the world.
"No, don't worry. I don't want to bother anyone." He shook his head.
"They're all gone. Carlisle and Esme left for a walk a while ago, and knowing Rosalie and Emmett they'll come when it's time for school." They really didn't sleep. Then I realized we were alone. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. "Would you like some lasagna?" That sounded delicious.
"Yes, please." He smiled, he seemed so happy to help.
He went first, turning lights on as he went. Only then, I noticed he was wearing pajama bottoms and a cotton t-shirt. He was also barefoot. I smiled at how ridiculously fast my life had changed. What on Earth was I doing looking for food in the middle of the night with a pajama clad Edward Cullen? I giggled and Edward reacted to the sound.
"What is it?" He asked with a smile. He looked so eager to get in on the joke.
"Nothing. I'm just amazed at the absurdity of it all." He frowned and cocked his head to the side, which only made me smile wider.
"I barely talked to you consistently a couple weeks ago and now I'm raiding your fridge." He smiled crookedly.
"Right." He turned around and kept walking.
Soon enough, I was faced with a full plate of warm lasagna and for all the hunger I felt before, this wasn't really encouraging. "Is something wrong? Esme used vegetables mostly, because you are a vegetarian." How did he even know that?
"No, everything is fine. This looks delicious, it's just-"
"It's not appetizing?" I sighed. I wished so hard this was different. I shook my head.
"I lived off these stuff before, it has to work." I said, determined and grabbed my fork. Edward looked at me intently, which was enough incentive to avoid throwing up at all times.
The lasagna was delicious, but every bite seemed harder than the next. I also managed to eat half of the Jake-sized portion that Edward had given me and I felt slightly more satisfied than before. When I finally gave up Edward was still there, watching me with worry.
"Have you had enough?" I nodded.
"It was really good, I appreciate the effort you guys made." He nodded. "I just feel I need something else." He cleared the plate from the table and came back.
"You're thirsty." His low voice tried really hard not to offend me. Might as well own up to it.
"Yes." I said and he looked like I wasn't going to like what he was about to say.
"I know it sounds repulsive to you, but I could teach you to hunt." He was right, it was repulsive.
"No." I put my arms around myself. "I can eat more. I've lived off of it before." Edward seemed to acknowledge my concern.
"Something changed. You are thirsty, and believe me when I tell you, there is only one way to satisfy thirst." I shook my head, I knew I looked like a stubborn child.
"I can't." I said, I felt the sadness taking over again. This wasn't who I wanted to be.
"It's not as bad as you think. When your instincts take over, you will barely consciously acknowledge what you're doing."
"I don't want to kill anything." He nodded and was quiet. I wondered if I had offended him. I frowned at my own stupidity. "I didn't mean to be offensive." He smiled sadly.
"You didn't. I never wanted to kill anything either." His voice was a whisper. He stepped away and went to the living room. I followed him sheepishly. He sat on his piano stool with his back to his piano.
"What was it like when you lived with your father?" He asked. I felt like I had to answer that, even when it hurt me to remember. Another life I'd lost, memories I could barely grasp.
"It was normal, and it was safe. He loved me very much and I loved him." The more I tried to think about him, the more my head became hazy. So I didn't try anymore. I sat on the couch closest to the piano.
"Why did Carlisle change you?" Asking questions and answering, this seemed normal enough.
"I was dying. My family had already died and I was alone in the world. Carlisle had searched for a family for many years, he acted out of impulse. Did your father find you somewhere?" I nodded.
"I don't know where, but he took me in." He frowned. Where had he found me? I didn't know, but I doubted I wanted to find out. It seemed like grim times to be asking questions. I was done with being serious.
"What was the first movie you ever saw?" He smiled.
"Trying to figure out my age?" I played dumb.
"Me? Never." He chuckled.
"You wouldn't know it, they had no sound back then." I giggled.
"Wow. You're really old." He recognized my teasing so he smiled. We spend the rest of the night like that, talking about casual things. Then I got tired again. I was too comfortable to want to go anywhere so I just cuddled. He was in the middle of explaining what driving a car was like before pavement when I took a second too long to blink.
"You're tired, you should sleep." He said with a smile. By now, he was in the same couch as I was. I folded my arms against my chest stubbornly.
"No, I'm not. Keep talking." He did, but by the time he finished his story I passed out. I didn't know what happened but when I woke up, I was back in Alice's room with a blanket awkwardly put over me. My life had taken a really strange turn.
Sorry if there are any mistakes! M.