The Scars of War
Author's Note: Thanks again to my beta and Renee86! After a lot of tinkering, I think this chapter is finally done. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy
Disclaimer: Characters and ideas from BSG are not my property
Two Months and 6 Days (evening)
After Leoben had led me from the tent and back to the detention center, I was sent back to my cell but allowed to keep my clothing on. I didn't have to wait long before Cavil, Doral, D'Anna, Sharon and Leoben walked into the uncomfortable concrete room. They all looked pretty unhappy except for Leoben, who was trying very hard not to let a smile take over his face. Cavil looked down at me before he grabbed my arms and hauled me to my feet.
"You are going to be Leoben's pet from now on," Cavil sneered, "But that does not mean that we won't have access to you."
"What's wrong, Cavil?" I say with as much sarcasm as possible, "Do you have a bit of a headache? Because I've heard taking a rock to the head tends to-"
His hands are at my throat and my back is against the wall in an instant, "Watch your tongue, Laura. Leoben is still a bit disappointed about you rejecting him, and I am sure that he might let me have a piece of you sooner than you think."
"Go frak yourself while you wait," I spat back.
I saw Doral walk forward from the corner of my eye, but he was stopped by Leoben who shook his head and stepped towards Cavil and me.
"I've got her from here," Leoben said as he placed his hand on Cavil's shoulder.
"She needs to be punished for that mouth of hers," Cavil leaned in towards me, and I could feel his breath against my cheek as I turned away.
"I'll take care of it," Leoben assured the angry cylon.
"You'll punish her here and now," Cavil stated as he let go of me and backed away slowly.
I could feel my heart rate skyrocket as Leoben nodded and waited for Cavil and the others to make their exit. After everything that happened today, I was still trying to decide if he was playing me or not. As we continued to wait for the other cylons to leave, we realized that they had no intention of leaving.
"We will watch," Cavil grinned as he looked first at me and then at Leoben, "I want to make sure that she is adequately dealt with."
I looked to Leoben as well and saw his gaze harden as he gave a stiff nod. He stepped into the space that Cavil had just vacated in front of me and gripped my neck in his hand. I was lifted from the ground and throw across the room to land on the mattress. I roll over onto my back and he is on top of me, pinning my arms under his knees.
He leans down and roughly grabs my chin in his hand, "I'll be as gentle as possible," he whispered.
He crashes his lips to mine before quickly breaking apart and bringing his fist down hard into my abdomen. Although he did not hit me as hard as he possibly could, it still hurt like hell. I know that he has to make it look convincing, but I am not sure he is just doing it to convince them. I saw anger in his eyes earlier, and now is the perfect time for him to take that anger out on me. Another blow is delivered to my side and another and another. I remember what he told me about squeezing his arm if I felt that he was taking it too far, but my arms are pinned under his legs and I can't get them free.
His next target seemed to be my jaw as his hand comes down to slap me. My head is spinning as I try to think of some way to let him know that it's too much. I try looking at him, but with each slap of his hand, my head is thrown to the side and I lose eye contact. He finally stops to lean down and roughly bite my neck. I decide to take my chances and talk to him.
"It's too much, Leoben," I whisper into his ear, hoping the others can't hear me.
I can feel him kiss the spot that he just bit, "I will calm it down," he whispered against my skin.
His hands roamed over my chest as he started to push my clothes aside. His motions were jerky and rough, but his touch was gentle. It was a reflection of his personality, and I am met with even more doubt of his intentions. His hands are now just beneath the neck line of my sweater and his fingers are caressing the skin they find there. He brings his mouth to mine and kisses me roughly.
Pulling away, he smiles at me, "I won't hurt you. Just relax, Laura."
"Leoben," D'Anna called from the doorway, "Take her and get out of here."
I watched as Doral and Sharon scoffed at D'Anna, but Cavil refused to look away from Leoben and me. He was staring right at me, as if he was waiting for me to say something. He was waiting for me to slip up and give him any kind of hint that Leoben means me no harm. I stare back at him and hope that my presidential façade is enough to push him off of his trail.
Leoben sits up before turning to the group of cylons, "I will make sure to have her back whenever you need her," he spoke before getting off of me.
I stayed lying on the mattress, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement from Leoben that it was safe to move. Three of the four cylons had already left, but Cavil remained rooted to the spot.
"You will not be able to keep her forever, Leoben," he said before he turned and walked out of the cell.
Leoben waited for Cavil to close the door and walk away before he turned to me and offered his hand. I took it gently and he helped me to my feet. As I stood up, I doubled over as the pain in my abdomen hit me hard. Leoben caught me and held me to him as the pain slowly started to diminish.
"I didn't want to-I mean…I didn't mean to hurt you," Leoben said softly as his arm tightened around my waist, "I just want to make sure that none of them get the chance to lay a hand on you."
I pulled away from him, "Can we please not talk about this? I just want to get back to my tent and then the school."
"Of course," he nodded, "I will have to stay with you at the school from now on."
"What?" I turn to him and can't help but let the confusion show on my face, "Why? I thought the whole reason you did this was so that I could be free."
"Laura," he grabbed my hand and when I tried to pull it away, he tightened his grip, "I did this so that you would be safe. I am going to make sure that you are never out of my sight for longer than necessary."
I shake my head and try once more to get my hand out of his, "Leoben, this isn't what I thought it was. I-I can't give you anything you want. I thought that after I was out of here I would be free. Free from all cylons."
"I can't do that, Laura," he pulled me closer, "You are not safe without me. I am not going to let anything happen to you."
His arms encircle my waist and he bent his head down to capture my lips, but I pulled away. He tried again, but this time I push him away and move to the opposite side of the cell.
"Leoben," I sighed, "I told you that I can't do this…that I won't do this. I just want to help the Admiral get everybody off of this fraking planet."
"You also want him to open his arms to you," he said coldly, "but we both know that after the way he found out about what happened he is not going to just let you back into his life. He is not going to just forget about it and love you…but I will, Laura," he stepped forward and pinned me into a corner, "I will love you more than he ever could. I do love you, Laura."
His hands came up to cradle my face between them, and he had me look into his eyes. I could see the infatuation that he held for me, but that was all I saw. It was not the look that I was pinning over to see in Bill's eyes. It was not the look that I tried to hide from him during our meetings. Or maybe it was the same look, but I was not used to seeing it in the eyes of somebody other than Bill.
"I don't love you, Leoben," I say quietly, "I appreciate everything that you have done for me and the colonists, but I can only give you my appreciation."
Leoben nodded and stepped back, "I understand…however, I still can't let you out of my sight unless I know you are safe."
He leads me out of the cell and towards the exit of the detention center. As we walk along the corridors, he keeps a respectable distance between us and I can tell that he is tense. I look around us before I step closer to him and grab his upper arm. He looks down at me and smiles before placing his hand atop of mine and continuing down the hallway and outside. As he leads me through the tents, I notice that we are going back to the tent that housed Tigh and the Chief.
"Leoben," I tug on his arm and try to turn him in the direction of the school tent, "I really don't want to face them right now."
He brushed his fingers across my knuckles and shook his head, "I know you are mad at Tigh, but he is setting up a comm link for you and the Admiral as we speak, and it is going to be for just you two. You have to talk to him, and I'll make sure that Tigh and Tyrol are gone."
I realize that we are now in front of the tent and that it is time for me to face the music. Leoben pulls back the tent flap for me before he places his hand on my lower back and gently pushes me forward. Tigh and Tyrol looked up from the table they are sitting at, but neither of them seemed surprised to see me. Looking at the Chief, he gives me a small smile before excusing himself and leaving the tent. Tigh stood up but did not move to greet me or Leoben.
"If you don't mind," Tigh growled, "I would like to have a human only conversation."
Leoben nodded before turning to me, "I will be just outside if you need me."
"Thank you," I whispered and watched as he went outside.
Tigh cleared his throat, "I wanted to say that I am sorry about what happened to you in the detention center. I am not sorry about tricking you into telling the Old Man. He needed to know that you were okay and I needed to know that I could trust you."
"You should have told me," I say quietly.
"I stand by my decision," he said before passing me a microphone, "The connection is already up and ready for you…he'll be here soon."
Before I can say anything, he is already gone, and I am left to make the trek into the bunker on my own. It's odd being down here alone in front of several monitors and computers and not be able to see Bill. The only thing that could possibly give away the fact that he is listening is the microphone and the distinct sound of static. I slowly approach the chair in front of all of the machines. I take a seat and a deep breath before bringing the microphone up to my mouth.
"Bill?" I gasp into the mic.
"It's good to hear your voice, Laura," he rasps back, "I was worried when I heard that you walked out earlier. I never wanted you to feel like you couldn't trust me, and I certainly didn't want you to tell me something like that with Saul pressuring you."
"I didn't want you to know," I whisper.
"Why not, Laura?" he sounded shocked and offended, "I want to know that you are okay."
"I know, Bill," I am now fighting back tears, "but I didn't want you to see me as weak or as some used-"
"Wait," Bill said sternly, effectively cutting me off, "I could never see you as weak, Laura, and what happened to you was beyond your control. There is nothing in the universe that could make me love you less, but there is not a limit on the number of things that could make me love you more. Never doubt that I love you, Laura, because I do and I always will."
"I'm sorry for hiding it from you, Bill," I sobbed, "I love you too."
"Please don't cry," he said softly, "I don't like hearing you cry when I can't be there to comfort you."
"I don't know how much longer I can do this," I wipe away my tears and finally let the fatigue through in my voice, "I can't act like I am not at all affected by what is going on while pretending that I know nothing about what is going on."
"Tell me what is happening, Laura. I am right here for you," I can almost see him leaning back against his couch patting the cushion next to him, "You don't have to hold everything in. You don't have to do this on your own."
He was right, and I knew that if I continued to act one way in front of the cylons and another in front of Leoben, I was bound to slip at some point.
I took a deep breath before starting my story, "Right after the cylons came back, I was taken to a cell and left there for a while. I was fed, but the room was blindingly bright and all I had was a mattress. It was fine because they mostly just left me alone, but when they started asking for information about Earth, I told them to frak off. They didn't like that and that's how I end up with Cavil and Leoben.
After that happened, Leoben came back and said that he only did what he did because the others pressured him to. He has been protecting me while I have been stuck in the cell, and he got me out of it today, but after everything that happened with Tigh...well, I can't tell what he wants anymore. I messed up yesterday and now I don't know what to do. He seems to be upset with me, and he was my only safe place with you gone."
"What do you mean by 'messed up'?" Bill asked gently.
"I was upset with you finding out, and I let my emotions get ahold of me," I hesitated for a minute before deciding to just say it, "We ended up kissing, but I broke it off before it could go anywhere, I swear to the Lords of Kobol, Bill."
"I trust you, Laura," he sighed, "But I may have to shoot him myself when I get there."
"I swear to you that he is nothing to me, Bill. I only trusted him because I wanted to be with you again," I started to cry again.
"Laura, please don't cry," he begs again, "I will be there in two days and we will work everything out."
"Two days?" I gasped, "You are going to be here in two days?"
I hear him chuckle and it makes me feel a warmth that I had been missing, "Yes, I will be there for you in two days. Saul and the Chief are going to make sure that you know the plan and that you will be safe and ready to leave."
"I can't wait to see you again, Bill," I say as a smile spreads across my lips.
"Me neither, Laura," I can hear the smile in his voice as well, "I don't want you to tell anything to Leoben yet. Saul will tell you what to say to him."
"You're scared he might try to stop the rescue?" I ask, still not sure what to believe.
"I'm scared that he is going to stop you from leaving. Saul and Jack have told me how he acts around you, Laura, and I can't lose you. I already had to deal with that thought once before, and it's something that I never want to experience again."
There was silence for a bit as we both thought about an almost loss. I know he was thinking about me lying in the hospital bed as I almost died of cancer. I am thinking about him lying on an operating table, with a long angry red incision splitting him in half. We have both lost so much, and yet we have so much more to lose.
"I miss you, Bill," I say quietly, "I miss you so much."
"I miss you too, Laura," I heard him shuffling on the other side of the line before I hear his voice again, "I have some time if you do."
"I'm not going anywhere, Admiral Sir," I giggle into the mic.
"Perfect," he laughed, "because I believe that we have a book to finish, and I was hoping that we could finish another few chapters."
"I can't wait to be back on your couch on Galactica," I hummed as I heard the sound of pages turning.
"Me neither," he sighed before beginning to read the next chapter in our book.
I could picture myself sitting on the couch, my head in his lap as he ran his fingers through my hair and soothed me with his voice. That's when I realized that this was going to be the longest 2 days of my life.
TBC…