A/N: Now this is up to date with my AO3 account... I think. Sorry if your inbox got spammed suddenly! Q_Q
Warning: Internalized Homophobia.
If Ace ever doubted he was a monster and a freak, that doubt was now gone.
He'd felt a desire. A deep urge... To kiss Marco.
But Marco is a guy, and so is Ace! Wanting to kiss another guy like that is disgusting. Ace should've expected it, though. He's a demon, should never have even been born, so the fact he's having unnatural urges isn't unexpected.
Still. Of all the people for him to taint like this. Marco... Ace really respected the guy. Admired him a bit. Clearly too much of both.
But he was free, like all of his brothers and their father, and just had an air about him.
The thought of the other crew members only made his -admittedly, already quite terrible- mood sink further. Things had gotten off to a rocky start -mostly by him- but it had just started to settle down. He'd just started to feel like he could maybe belong here.
And then THIS happens. Just typical. Whenever he has something good, and he gets used to it, something bad happens to take it away.
A flicker of remembered flames and he curls in on himself in the crows next. Sabo. The name is painful to even think about. One of his best friends, his brother, torn away from him, from Luffy.
His mind drifts to the Spade Pirates. His crew. His very own crew, of which he was the captain. They'd been like a little family.
And now they are no more.
Because of him. Because he was so weak.
He couldn't even protect them, and now they were gone their separate ways with the crew disbanded.
And now this. Whitebeard... Pops. Everyone here slowly growing on him and sneaking past the walls he puts up, past the wary and towards the fragile pieces of him.
And now it will all disappear.
Because of him.
Because he is a monster.