Stephenie Meyer's the genius, I'm just playing in her sandbox.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

"You got something in the mail."

My head jerked up at Piper's quiet voice. She was standing in the doorway to my bedroom, holding a wide white envelope with our newest address written in clumsy scrawl. I couldn't immediately identify the penmenship or who the return address belonged to. But I had to admit that my curiosity was piqued.

Not thinking about how fast my movements were, I crossed the room in three wide strides and graciously took the envelope from her. "Thanks...Piper."

"Mhm." She inclined her head slightly then turned to head down the hall to her own room.

Suddenly, I did not want to be left alone with this letter. I didn't want to be alone in silence when I read the contents of this package quietly to myself. "You don't have to go." I admitted suddenly, looking bashfully at her as her steps faltered and she slowly turned back to face me.

"Oh. Okay." She nodded a little more firmly and stepped back into my bedroom. I didn't raise an eyebrow when she quietly closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She crossed her arms over her chest in an innocent gesture and kept her still-bloody eyes on the parcel in my hands.

Swallowing thickly, I carried the piece of mail to the couch and plopped down, nodding at the spare space for Piper if she wanted to sit down then carefully ripped into the envelope. There were several stacks of papers inside, sheets of notebook paper that stapled together. My heart, had it the ability, would have started racing when I read the first two words on the top page.

Dear Edward....

Jacob Black had written me a letter. I wasn't even sure he would know how to find me. But then again, we didn't exactly make our existance a secret. Especially since several Cullens and the two Hales of our family, were enrolled in prestegious schools.

I could probably get in a lot of trouble for this, but I thought you deserved to know. I'm going against every instinct in my body in writing to you about Bella, but I would want to know how she's doing if I were in your place. It wasn't that hard to find you. After all, how many families under the name Carlisle and Esme Cullen exist in the United States? Well, not many, I can tell you that.

I saw you hiding on the day of our wedding. To be honest, I was a little worried about seeing you there. I figured you had come back for her, to claim the love you'd walked away from. I'm not writing any of this to sound or seem insensitive. If it hadn't been for you, I never would have gotten as close as I am to her. I wouldn't have had the rare chance to fall in love with her and have her as my wife. But this isn't about me, as much as I'd like to write down every single thought I've ever had about you. I don't think it would do any good if you knew every single moment of pain you inflicted on Bella. But then again, you've probably seen everything. If you were at our wedding, you've probably been following her progress since the moment you left Forks.

Anyway, enclosed are some letters I found tucked in a secret drawer. All of them are addressed to you, filled with things that she would probably have wanted you to know. That is, if you two had ever decided to keep in touch. I don't know what was said in them, that's between you and Bella. But I did make copies and felt this weird urge to send them to you. Again, not trying to inflict any pain. I just thought you would want some insight to what she's been thinking about since you left. Maybe this can help close the remaining doors on your relationship with her. Just speculation though, I don't know everything you've gone through because of your relationship ending. I know what she told me, the reasons you gave her for leaving. But since you came to our wedding, I'm willing to bet you lied to make her let go.

But I do have to say one thing to you, Edward Cullen. Thank you. I know it's probably the hardest thing you've ever done, to leave her and force her to move on without you. I can't imagine how you accomplished that. But I can promise you that I will spend every single day of the rest of my life trying to make her happy. So, again, thank you. Not only for unknowingly opening the playing field for me, but for letting me be the one to love and protect her. I don't think I would've been able to show the strength you did on the day of our wedding. That's a favor I'll never be able to repay, but hope to by treating her the way I know you had wanted to, and giving her everything I have in my power to give her. I promise to keep her safe, happy, and loved for the rest of her life.

-Jacob Black

I swallowed thickly yet again as I stared at the neat pile of papers in my hands. It was only when I noticed the papers trembling did I realize that I was shaking. Me. A one hundred and eleven year old vampire, afraid to read the thoughts and written emotions of a twenty-one year old, married human woman.

"Who's it from?" Piper's quiet voice pulled me from the threshold of darkness that threatened to consume me.

I spared her a brief glance before I picked up the piece of paper holding Jacob Black's handwriting and shuffled it to the bottom of the pile. "An...old family friend. Or at least, I think you might be able to call him that."

She nodded then, I could see it clearly from my periphial vision. But she surprised me by not taking her questioning any further. I could feel the curiosity emanating from her in waves, as well as in the mellow currents of her thoughts. She very much wanted me to elaborate, but seemed to know that I was momentarily uncapable of doing so. How could I explain Bella's existance to this girl? How could I tell her that Bella was everything I wished she was? The onset of pain and torment was too much for me to bare, I could only imagine how Piper would fair. And she didn't deserve it to be suddenly compared to someone she didn't even know. Especially in a circumstance she probably didn't even know about. A part of me was also working under the assumption that Piper thought of me as anything more than a cold and uncaring family member.

As I read the first letter, which had been dated months after my departure, I felt an odd hole forming in the pit of my stomach. It was very much like the same icy twist of pain that I'd encountered as I raced away from Bella on that fateful day. All so I wouldn't turn around and undo the web of lies I'd successfully spun around her. Jacob had been right. It was agony to leave her alone, to force her to move on without me and find a love healthier for her than that which I was capable of. She had that now, with someone else. Someone who could give her everything immortality denied me.

I jerked slightly in response when Piper's hand suddenly landed on my bare arm. The sleeves of my button-down had been rolled up to the elbows a while ago, force of habit after years of letting Alice have her way with my wardrobe. "I'm sorry." She whispered, her own voice being constricted by her vocal chords.

"For what?" I hastily threw the words into the air with a gruff undertone. As much as I didn't want to take this out on her, I was suddenly aware that she was in the direct line of fire. Wrong place, wrong time. That was always how these things seemed to go, right? My muscles felt jerky under my skin as I got to my feet to stow the letters. As much as I yearned to sit and read Bella's words, I wasn't able to do so yet. The icy pain swirling in my stomach was becoming increasingly more unbearable and all I could think of was a way to release it. To somehow expel the toxins that suddenly began to fill my body. All because Jacob Black had, had a moment of bravery to give me some peace of mind. He'd wanted me to know that Bella was happy now. Happy without me.

Completely unaware of what I was doing, I turned to my immediate left and easily sank my fist through an uncovered patch of drywall. The curtains that had hung in my Forks bedroom hung here now, but there were a few spaces along the wall left bare for any photographs or momentos to be tacked up if the occupant so desired. I did not. The only momento I had to leave was an almost perfect indention of my fist.

Piper yelped lightly in surprise and I became painfully aware of just how close I'd come to hitting her. She'd gotten up to follow me and I hadn't even realized it. Turning on my heel, confusion washed over me when I saw her cowering slightly behind me. Her arm was raised to protect the side of her head, like she was anticipating some kind of physical assault on her.

"I'm...I'm not going to hit you." I still sounded rough as I spun and faced away from her. It hurt to see her take protective action against me. Though it was strangely in-character with everything I knew of her, I didn't want this girl to be cowering in fear. In fear of me. I hadn't had a single thought that centered around hurting her physically. I realized belatedly that I hadn't made the same promise about hurting her emotionally.

I noticed the tiny nod she gave from behind her raised arm then slowly let it fall back to her side as she straightened up. "I guess I'm remembering more of my human life than I thought." She murmered, her throaty voice soon giving way to a bitter laugh before she angled toward the door. "I just...I wanted to make sure you got that. I'll leave you alone now."

"No." The simple word flew past my lips without a second's hesitation from my mind. I didn't want her to leave my room, still fearful of me. "Piper, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you."

The smile on her face was pitiful as she slowly turned back to face me, her tiny face strained underneath the patronizing expression. "Edward, I was raised to fear men. First by my father, then every bad relationship that came afterward. You aren't the first to make me flinch."

"But I want to be the last." I suddenly answered with such absolute conviction that I was left just as stunned as the tiny redhead before me.

"That would require you actually wanting to be around me for longer than minutes at a time." The smile never wavered from her lips, but yet her words still felt like deep stabs to my insides. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not keep from inflicting pain on unsuspecting women. Women who had not spent the last hundred or so years, learning all my faults and imperfections.

"I never said I didn't want to be around you." I answered heatedly and took a determined step toward her. She backed up almost immediately, causing me to stop cold. "I just mentioned not knowing how to work around all these walls that seem to be in our way."

"Your walls seem easier to conquer than mine." Piper shrugged then, the tiny straps of her tank top moving against her collarbone as she gestured at the letters I'd just put away. "You know what's caused them. I only have the faint echos of memory to help me."

"Then talk to me." I replied suddenly, reaching her so quickly that she didn't have time to pull away as I grabbed her shoulders once again. "Tell me what you remember and let's see if we can piece it together."

"What if I don't want to know?" She shot back, her voice softer than I could have ever remembered it being. "What if I don't remember all the times my father hit me, or all of the boys that treated me like garbage once they got what they wanted from me? I'm sorry but maybe, just maybe, in this instance; ignorance is bliss."

"Ignorance is never bliss." I challenged then made a concerted effort to release her. All so she could leave me if she chose. "It always catches up to you in the end, no matter if your heart's still beating when it does or not."

"I really wish you'd stop speaking in riddles around me. It really does make me feel stupid."

"You're far from stupid." I couldn't help it, a small cynical smile graced my features as I shook my head slowly. "Do you remember how much schooling you finished?"

That brought her up short, like most questions posed to her. She was silent and very thoughtful for a few moments, even pacing away from me slowly as she became engrossed in her thoughts. "I...I can't really remember. I do know I never got to finish high school though." She frowned then and looked up at me curiously, even tilting her head slightly as she shoved her hands into the pockets of the ripped blue jeans covering her lower body from view. "How old were you when you were changed, Edward?"

"I was seventeen." I answered automatically, smiling sadly at her again as I looped my arms loosely across my chest.

"Hmmm," was her only response as she nodded slowly then laughed sardonically. "Who would have thought? Both of us forever trapped as seventeen year old children."