Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from "Sons of Anarchy." They are the property of Kurt Sutter and Fox Network. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story.
Three Princes
A sequel to "Intended"
Chapter 11
"If you've still got pain by tonight, then I don't care what you say, we're going to the hospital!" Gemma was concerned, Gemma only wanted what was best for Joss, Gemma didn't want Joss to be living with chronic and sudden bursts of side splitting soreness any longer…Joss chanted that inside her head, forcing herself to bear not just Gemma's hospital threat, but also the gruff, annoyed and angry way she was making it. Joss had never seen Gemma so stressed out before, and she'd definitely never known Gemma to cry! That this Jax thing was affecting Gemma so much had made Joss vow to herself to be pleasant, and not become one more pain in the ass for Gemma, no matter what…but go to the hospital? No! Okay, so maybe this pulled muscle was taking a long time to heal…that fact was bothering Joss herself a bit now, but it didn't hurt all of the time, and it wasn't impacting anything she did…maybe it inhibited her movements at times, but it was hardly debilitating. Had it been some kind of seriously torn stomach muscle, Joss knew she'd have bled out internally days ago. Her biggest concern had been her appendix, for it was in the same quadrant of her body where the pain always occurred, but Joss was pretty sure she would have been running a fever as well as be suffering a loss of appetite, likely even vomiting, had this been appendicitis. She'd actually researched that one night on Gemma's computer, wondering herself if surgery was lurking in her immediate future…to ruin her wedding…which would have been good in that she absolutely hated the wedding Gemma was planning, but bad in the aspect that above all else, Joss just wanted to marry Tig, and go back home with him, and be his, all and entirely his, for the rest of their lives. Luckily, the awful, froo-froo wedding seemed to be a more likely threat than surgery, for despite all of Joss's research, nothing seemed to match up with any of the "serious medical maladies" that Joss was able to discover.
Gemma's wedding…that was in itself enough to make Joss's side hurt…it was certainly making her nauseous. The Hostess Sno Ball dress was gone, returned, drawn and quartered by order of the king, but another detestable mass of white satin and organza had popped up in its place, kind of like shark teeth. Joss wasn't sure just what it was about ballgown style wedding dresses that appealed to Gemma, but Gemma had selected yet another…which was like a scaled back version of the nearly one thousand dollar monstrosity she'd initially purchased. The skirt of the new dress was nowhere near the crazy splendor of the first, and instead of being strapless, it was a halter style. But right at Joss's midsection, the dress ballooned out into a semi-puffy, handkerchief hem style of tulle skirt, still giving her body that awful triangle shape that Joss was never going to be in love with. And it was still stark white, unabashedly white…who was Gemma trying to fool? Joss had been with a lot of men…a lot of men…and maybe she was marrying the only one she'd ever wanted to spread her legs for, but she'd still been with Tig…a lot…so, white white whitey white white white wasn't really a practical option…it just made her feel dirty. But, at least there was no hoopskirt with this dress…this feathery, nearly floor length, abundant with tulle and organza dress…no more Sno Ball, but Joss sort of felt like she should clip some white plumes into her hair and tie on some flat toed satin slippers to go dance Swan Lake, not get married. The price tag of the Swan Lake dress had been a drastic improvement from the latter, this one was under three hundred dollars, which had made Clay pretend to be pleased, as long as Joss was, but truth be told, Joss hated this "romantic tutu" kind of dress still, but hearing Gemma crying over whatever idiotic, selfish thing Jax was doing had taken the fight right out of Joss. She'd wear the stupid Swan dress and just resist the urge to Chassé down the aisle and then stand there in front of Bobby, beside Tig, on the point of her toes.
But the new, slightly more tolerable dress had managed to burn Joss in the end anyway, for now Gemma had money to spend on other things at the wedding…like now there would be twinkling white lights strung in every tree and shrub, and over the gazebo, of course. There would also be a champagne fountain and each table was now going to have a centerpiece that consisted of white lilies in a tall vase with a white, crowntail beta fish swimming around within it. About the only part of that Joss liked was the beta fish…but she didn't like the idea of them as centerpieces…those poor Vietnamese Fighting Fish…always being exploited somehow…hmm…mean fish…she still needed to get Tig's wedding gift!
Tig…from the moment Joss had opened her eyes this morning she'd been in pain, and from the moment she'd felt the pain, she'd longed for Tig…really longed for Tig, missed him and hurt for him almost nearly as much as the pounding in her right side. But, at least the constant pain had given her something to blame the tears in her eyes on…only it had whipped both Gemma and Clay into a frenzy of worry over her health…on the morning when there had no time for frenzies! Yeah, her side had hurt, it had hurt a lot, a kind of pain Joss had never felt before, but the tears weren't for that pain…they for the want of her man…she was in agony, and she needed the strength and the protection of her mate to feel better, only it wasn't there.
It had been a rushed morning with Clay leaving early for work, to get a jump on the garage schedule, being that Gemma would be late today. Gemma would be late because she was going to the photo shoot with Joss, well, at least she was staying long enough to set the tone of how her client, Joss, was to be handled and also to collect the money, up front, and then Gemma would leave for the garage…unless of course there was a problem. Gemma was no more than a phone call away even if she wasn't on the shoot…it made out of town photographers and their entourage, believe that Gemma had other clients to deal with, and the more clients, the more powerful the agent/manager, and so photographers tended to fall in line with whatever Gemma said.
Clay's early arrival to work was also due to Joss's other "representative" on the shoot. Gemma handled the business end of this modeling thing, but Tig gave final approval to everything, and he'd be leaving work early to go and be with Joss and make sure there weren't any pictures being taken of anything he wasn't willing to share with the world. It was leaving Clay with no manager in the morning, and short a mechanic in the afternoon, and all three of them, Clay, Gemma and Joss were all racing out of the house at the same time. Only Joss hadn't been able to do much 'racing;' she'd barely been able to stand up straight with the knot of misery that had formed in her right side…panicking both Clay and Gemma, who had been about to whisk her out the door and over to Saint Thomas's when Joss's churning mind and broken heart gutted out one last wish for Tig's arms around her, and 'poof,' the pain was gone. But Joss kind of figured adrenaline had been behind that! She would be with Tig for several hours today, and Joss was so excited about seeing him that she'd barely slept all night. She loved this feeling of anticipation that came whenever she knew she'd be seeing her man, but she didn't really understand it…so much excitement would have been understandable if Tig had been gone for weeks or months, but as it was, Joss generally was able to see him at least once every day, thanks to Clay. And still, this exhilaration bubbled inappropriately within her just as her over defined grief did whenever she and Tig parted. But bit by bit, Joss felt like some things were beginning to make sense.
She could find no medical reasons for her pain, and it seemed to be worsening now instead of fading…and when it hit, Tig was always her first thought. Could it be that what had started as a pulled stomach muscle from a fall off of Sam had now become some of kind psychosomatic pain of separation from her man? She did love Tig with all that she had and all that she was; he was difficult and dangerous and hated every second of being in love with her, everything she had from him, everything he gave her, had been hard fought for, which in Joss's opinion only made it more genuine and powerful than what other couples shared. It was one thing to happily love someone, but it was another to love someone so much that in spite of how abhorrent and afraid of it either person was, neither could deny it. What Joss and Tig felt for each other made them so incredibly strong together, but maybe it was destroying them…well, Joss at least, when they were apart? Hmm…that wasn't normal…or even natural…was it?
"Joss!" Gemma's tone was more than just flustered, it was crossing over into angry now…shit, how long had Gemma been talking to Joss without Joss noticing?
"Sorry!" Joss responded with a tight throat. "I'm just thinking about the shoo—."
"Bullshit, we both know what you were thinking about…or more appropriately 'who' you were thinking about." Gemma griped. "You've got the rest of your life with him; I think you can spare the next few days to worry about your wedding. Show a little maturity." She scolded, but kept her eyes straight ahead, almost like she wasn't trying to hurt Joss's feelings and maybe Gemma wasn't.
Joss inwardly sighed, what exactly was mature about creating some stupid princess party? But, she'd promised herself, and Clay for that matter, that she'd do her best to make Gemma happy, and nothing made Gemma happier than being asked for her advice…and Joss could use an answer about her psychosomatic-missing Tig-pain in her side theory. "Gemma," she began, looking over at her as Gemma drove, and Joss began to wonder how to ask this, what words to use that wouldn't make it sound crazy…but it probably was crazy. "Do you think it's possible to become addicted to someone? And then suffer withdrawal symptoms when you can't be with them?"
Gemma sighed and shook her head, but Joss couldn't tell whether she was purely concerned, or actually pissed off that Joss had sort of insinuated that Gemma's forced separation of Tig from Joss and Joss from Tig was somehow detrimental to them both. But finally Gemma looked over at Joss with a mother's loving eyes. "You're not 'addicted' to Tig." She said knowingly. "Addiction is selfish, it's only about what you want and how you feel, and that's not what I see when I watch you and Tigger together."
Joss nodded, and she also smiled, that was good to hear! "But, is it possible to be too into someone? To love them so much that you can't function when you're not with them…or…get massive pain in your side?" Joss added, now feeling so silly for doing so.
"I thought that was from the horse?" Gemma's eyes shifted over towards Joss again. "Why would not being with Tig make your side hurt?"
"I don't know," Joss admitted, shrugging her shoulders then sighing. "It was just a theory." A theory she still for some reason believed…so much of this need to be close to Tig seemed to like it had something to do with the recurring pain in her side…but what?
Gemma sighed too, glancing over at Joss like she knew something Joss didn't then looked out at the road again. "You really wanna hear what I think?"
Joss hesitated, but tried hard not to let it show…but please God, don't let something come out of Gemma's mouth that was going to make Joss want to fight with her again! "Yeah, I do."
"You're young," Gemma said, and paused, making Joss almost ask what that meant, but finally Gemma started speaking again. "'Young' is good, Tigger needs someone young, he takes energy, he's a lot to keep up with on a lot of different levels, starting with emotionally and mentally," she looked over at Joss again. "I've never seen an old lady more tuned into her old man; words are just frivolous sounds between the two of you, you don't really need them to communicate, you've got some other kind of connection that only you and Tig understand. You get that he's 'young' too, at least when it comes to how to love someone." Gemma's eyes found the road again, putting her turn indicator on as she approached the studio. "I don't want you and Tigger to stop being 'young,' I hope you never do. But I want you both to grow up a little before you try married life." They pulled onto the parking lot of the studio, Joss soaking up Gemma's words and feeling a little stunned that Gemma was revealing a sane reason for the separation she was imposing upon the betrothed. "Right now, I think you and Tigger are both getting acquainted with the little kid inside each of you that demands to be satisfied, no matter what," she said as she parked the SUV. "And you both have to learn to get control of it," Gemma paused, then sighed, glanced at Joss again, but once more looked away, but this time Joss could tell it was because Gemma was trying to hide the hurt in her own eyes. "Spoiled brats rarely make good leaders."