Disclaimer: All characters and recognizable story elements belong to J. K. Rowling.
.
oOoOoOoOo
"Good evening, Professor Dumbledore."
"Oh, hello, Harry. I was rather expecting you at some point," the headmaster said with a smile when Harry entered his office after dinner, putting aside the book he had been studying. "Please take a seat. How are you holding up?"
"Better, sir, now that the Prophet has stopped. You wouldn't know anything about that, by the way?" Harry asked, sitting down across from the headmaster in an armchair that threatened to swallow him.
"Oh, I believe my good friend Mr. Brandon is one of the best in his field. He certainly knows how to tie up things in lovely knots of legalese," Dumbledore said with a happy twinkle in his eyes. "In short, for now we have a restraining order curtailing them."
"I was wondering if you had arranged something like that, sir. Can I expect this to last, though … ?"
The twinkle died, unfortunately.
"Sadly, no. There will be a hearing at the Ministry sometime later next week. We are trying to delay it, but someone there is pushing it forward. And obviously we have no idea about the outcome of the hearing either."
"So it was mostly a delaying tactic?"
"Yes. We are looking hard for other ways to stop them, of course. And to find out who is behind the whole … affair," Dumbledore said. "I gather you have also been busy?"
And the twinkle was back. Harry nodded cautiously. He wasn't totally sure how much he should tell the headmaster. About the upcoming interview, certainly. Most definitely about Rita Skeeter. But the stuff the twins were up to … maybe it would be better if Dumbledore didn't know about it. Hermione had muttered something about plausible deniability. His friend started to sound like a law-book after a few days of research in the library. She was also in an increasing state of frustration with Wizarding law, apparently.
However, this was a fancy way of saying the headmaster couldn't be faulted for something a bunch of students came up with, provided he had no idea about it. And pranks were not likely to do anything positive for Dumbledore's image of the wise, grandfatherly leader, either. So … probably best if he didn't know what they were up to. He'd be able to work it out once it happened anyway, given that he knew the twins.
"Yes, sir. I would actually like your advice about a few things."
"Of course, dear boy. What can I help you with?"
"Well, the other day we sort of did some brainstorming up in Gryffindor tower ..."
"Ah. I had noticed your house-mates being rather more ... supportive of you the last couple of days."
"Yeah. I did manage to get most everyone involved, and I told them a few things which made them see it from my point of view. And well, you were right … I needed them behind me."
Dumbledore gave him a fond smile. "I did say something like that, didn't I?"
Harry nodded and continued. "So we all got to talking about stuff I could do. And I think it's kind of high time I made use of that stupid 'fame' of mine for my own purposes, if you know what I mean?"
The headmaster nodded gravely and gestured for him to go on.
"Anyway we, that is Hermione, Ron and me, think I really need to run some sort of publicity campaign. To tell people about my side of the story, and hopefully make at least some of them see sense. So we talked about it with the others, and came up with the idea of publishing an interview with me in the Quibbler," he watched Dumbledore's expression turn doubtful. "As well as in the Irish Harbinger."
"Ah. Yes. Those two should balance each other out, which no doubt was your intention?"
"Yes, sir. I know the Quibbler is a bit," he coughed. "Dubious, from what I heard. But it's still the most widely read thing after the Prophet, and I don't think they would be willing to print anything of mine."
"At least not in any … unadulterated form, I fear. And I quite approve of your idea, dear boy. Do you have any idea yet who will interview you?"
"Ehm ..."
"Yes?" The headmaster raised an eyebrow at Harry questioningly.
"Yes. I do. Which is … actually another thing I needed your advice on, sir."
"Do you now? Who could it be that makes you so … tentative?"
"Well … we were talking about possible writers up in the common room, and there's this girl who has a cousin … "
"Yes?" Dumbledore was starting to sound a bit impatient with Harry's continued stalling.
"It's Rita Skeeter, sir. I've already asked her, and she's agreed. And ..." Harry stopped himself, as Dumbledore had paled.
"Are you sure this is wise, Harry? She has a bad reputation, and the things she normally writes ..." the headmaster said doubtfully, looking at him with concern.
"I know. But she seems very eager to write for me, and if I can get her style of writing on my side, against them … whoever they are ..."
"You may have a point. Still, promise me to be very much on your guard when you talk with her. She likes to twist what you say in the most horrible way, and what you do not tell her, she may well invent … to your detriment."
"Yeah. I will be careful. But I am also going to get the interview to read over before it's published, so that at least shouldn't be a problem."
"Ah. Good, that does indeed remove one worry. Still ..."
"And I was wondering if I shouldn't bring someone adult along for the interview itself? Maybe even a solicitor? That should help keep her in check, shouldn't it?"
Dumbledore visibly relaxed at hearing this. "Yes. Yes, capital idea, dear boy. In fact, if you want to, I could offer you Mr. Brandon's services. He truly has a way with words … and in his own way he is quite the match for Miss Skeeter. Quite the match indeed."
Harry nodded earnestly. "Yes, sir. I would like that. I was a bit worried about meeting with her on my own, to be honest."
"I will arrange it then, if you let me know the when and where of your interview," the headmaster said, and the twinkle was back in his eyes.
"Thank you, sir. I will," Harry replied, smiling gratefully.
"Now was there anything else on your mind?"
It sounded vaguely like a dismissal. But Harry was not yet done with the headmaster. The worst part was still ahead. The personal part. The one where Dumbledore probably confirmed something he didn't really want confirmed. But better a harsh truth, than poisonous doubts. And he could not go forward with either Snape or Professor Lupin until he knew. So … he drew a deep breath.
"Yes, sir. There's something else I wanted to ask you," he said firmly, even though his insides felt like mush. And his stomach was once again wearing a Slytherin scarf, and wanting to take up residence in the dungeons.
.
oOoOoOoOo
"You see, Professor Snape sent me … a letter," he began awkwardly. His gut was churning.
"Ah, yes. Indeed. He mentioned his intention to do that," Dumbledore was gazing at him rather seriously. "I assume you wish to ask about something he told you?"
"Well," Harry nerved himself to continue. "Yes. He tried to explain why he reacted so badly towards me. And he apologised," he hastened to add. "Which was … unexpected, but … good. But ..."
"But he also told you something you were not happy to hear?"
"Yeah. About … James Potter."
"Your father. Yes. He would have to, I suppose."
"Is it true then?" Harry rushed on, wanting to get it out. "Were he and his friends bullying Snape during school? Did they really almost kill him? And was my mum really his best friend?"
Dumbledore took a deep breath and looked … unhappy. Then he sighed and nodded.
"Yes, Harry. It is unfortunately the truth. Mind you, Professor Snape did fight back, too, but … they were the instigators most of the time. He was their favourite target, and they consistently picked on him for all their years at Hogwarts. And their pranks … often went too far. For which I am partly to blame as well, for not stepping in and dealing with them more firmly."
The headmaster appeared rather ashamed of himself. Which made Harry feel uncomfortable in turn. Clearly, the old wizard did not enjoy getting reminded of this. Once again … unexpected consequences. And it was obvious that even the passage of time was no help against them springing up. He wondered vaguely if he'd get yet more nasty surprises from his name-change in a decade or two.
Meanwhile the headmaster continued, still looking unhappy.
"And yes, I am sorry to have to say, they did put Severus into considerable danger to his life at one point. James rescued him from a most dire fate, at the last moment. Which did not help matters, I fear, as Severus resented him for it."
"Why would he resent that, sir?"
"The rescue put a life-debt on Severus, which he felt was rather unjust as it was Sirius Black's fault he was in danger to begin with. There was really no way he could have accepted it graciously."
"Oh. So … they did have a horrible relationship, then?"
"Yes. And sadly, the friendship between Lily Evans and Professor Snape was another reason for it. Your father had a crush on your mother for many years, but she always refused him. They only got together in their last year, when they were head-girl and boy together. After Lily ended her friendship with Severus. I fear he also never quite got over that. I believe they were great friends even before they came to Hogwarts, and knew each other from the Muggle world. So to lose her friendship … hurt Severus badly," the headmaster explained, looking sad and very uncomfortable.
Harry's shoulders slumped. So it was the truth.
"So yes, it is true. But also not quite the whole truth," Dumbledore continued, and held up a hand to stop Harry from interrupting.
"No, please let me explain. What Professor Snape told you was, indeed, the truth. But it was told from his perspective, obviously, and did not include what happened after they all left Hogwarts."
"You see, your father did grow up. Otherwise your mother would never have married him. He chased after her for years, but she was not one to be impressed by boyish charms. So I really think he did change. He became a better person, but Severus … Professor Snape, never had the chance to meet that person. To him, James Potter will always be the one who haunted his school-days."
"Unfortunately it is a fact that during most of his Hogwarts' years, your father was, indeed, rather a spoilt terror. He and his friends easily put the Weasley twins to shame, and they were also often more malicious in their pranking. The twins are more … innocent in many ways. It may have been the influence of Sirius Black, who grew up in a very Dark household. And well, you know what happened with him," Dumbledore added with a sad look.
"You mean one bad apple spoiled the lot?"
"Something along those lines, possibly. Certainly those were darker times. Voldemort was very much active, death and other bad news were a frequent occurrence. There was a lot of pressure to pick sides, and Slytherin house almost automatically meant his side. And it was my fault as well. I did little to ease the tension. To stop the rest of Hogwarts from stigmatizing them. And I fear I have always let the Gryffindors get away with too much."
Harry thought back upon the last two years, and found himself agreeing with the headmaster. Even though he had personally profited from the indulgence given to house Gryffindor. Certainly some of the things he had gotten away with, might have seen others expelled. Then again, others did not have to live with the same dangers as the stupid Boy-who-lived. Still, a firmer hand might have been … advisable. Preferably combined with a lot more support and help from the teachers, though.
Dumbledore was looking rather pensive, and sighed again.
"Yes, I have probably played favourites for so long, that I hardly recognise it as favouritism anymore. Oh, and by the way, did you read what the Prophet wrote about your father and his friends, Harry?"
"No, sir. I got too upset about the main … article, and then I totally forgot."
"That may have been fortuitous. And best, if you do not attempt to read it now. It was … colourful. And very sensationalist, and large parts were rather specious, too," Dumbledore explained earnestly. "But in one regard it was correct. Your father and his three best friends were indeed as thick as a pack of thieves, and they got into a lot of trouble together. The number of detentions they earned, were truly legendary, but they never let that stop them. Sadly, their friendship did not end well."
Dumbledore looked away sadly. "No, not well at all."
"What happened, then?"
"You know most of the story already. Sirius Black betrayed your parents to Voldemort, and killed Peter Pettigrew. And their fourth friend … he had many troubles of his own, and was devastated by the betrayal and his friends' deaths. He disappeared for the longest while. It was only recently that I managed to convince him to return ..."
"To teach us DADA this year?"
"When did you turn so observant, Harry? Not that I am unhappy about it, but I must admit you have caused me quite a few surprises since the start of summer," Dumbledore peered at him over his glasses, and sighed once again. "Unfortunately, most of the surprises were not of a desirable nature, not that it was your fault. No, not your fault at all."
"Sorry, sir," Harry said automatically.
"As I said, not your fault. In fact, far too much of it was my fault instead, for being too blind. If anyone needs to apologise, it is me. But yes, Professor Lupin was the fourth of the friends."
"He seems a rather … shy person? If I may say so, sir."
"Yes, he is. You are quite correct. He has a private and studious nature. I fear his greatest failing in those days was, that he did not stand up more to his friends. That he did not do enough to stop them when they went over the line. I suspect he was rather afraid of loosing them, you see. So, please, do not blame him too much. He is a good person. And Remus Lupin has led a life of many hardships, and lost much over the years."
Harry nodded earnestly. He could certainly understand someone going along with their friends to avoid loosing them, especially if those friends were the only ones they had. He was too some extent guilty of the same, even though he'd never taken part in bullying because of it. Then again, James Potter and his friends likely didn't think of what they did as 'bullying'.
People never liked to think of themselves in terms of uncomfortable and negative words. You were always a freedom fighter. It was the others who were terrorists.
"Of those four, the ringleaders were definitely James Potter and Sirius Black. Both were very charming and attractive young men, and high-spirited. Both came from old families, but where the Potters were always Light, the Blacks had been a Dark family for a long time. Sirius Black being sorted into Gryffindor, was quite the surprise to everyone. He seemed rather a rebel in those days, though of course somehow … it was either a deception even then, or something caused him to turn back later."
Harry wondered about that himself. What could have driven his … godfather to such a betrayal? But he was not curious enough to want to seek the man out just to learn about it. Though the way Potter's law tended to work, he'd probably end up meeting him anyway. Fate really seemed to have it in for him. Still, there was no reason to go and tempt it. None at all. He could survive with not knowing. Really.
"In any case, the other two were more in the way of followers. Peter Pettigrew had quite a negative personality, in that he just did not stand out. He was always in the shadow of the others. And Remus Lupin was the quiet one. In many ways he was a lot like your friend Hermione, because he loved books and learning. And he was also the least … rash of the lot of them. As well as the most rules-abiding. But maybe also a bit too weak, that he did not stand up to them," Dumbledore concluded, and sighed again.
"Well, this is the sad, and admittedly at times sordid, tale of your parents' time at Hogwarts, Harry. A very condensed version, of course. I wish I could have spared you learning the darker side of it, but … maybe it is best that you know."
"Yes, sir. I do not like unpleasant surprises, either," Harry pointed out more calmly than he really felt. It helped that he came prepared to have his illusions dispelled … but he had still hoped they would remain reality. But better confirmation, than niggling doubts.
"So, was this all you needed?"
The old wizard looked pained. And was showing his age for once.
"Almost, sir. I would like to write back to Professor Snape," Harry admitted. "He should be able to tell me more about my mum, shouldn't he?"
"Yes, of course," Dumbledore said, and the twinkle was finally back in his eyes.
"Well, he told me I should ask you for some charm to spell the paper, sir?" he gave the headmaster a hopeful look, as he didn't know what exactly he was looking for.
"Certainly, dear boy, certainly," the old wizard replied with renewed animation. "Here, let me demonstrate the spell for you … "
He broke off, gazing at Harry seriously.
"Now, we do not normally teach spells like this so early, as they can be abused somewhat. But I will trust you with this, though I have to ask you not to share it with anyone. Not even your friends. At least not without asking first."
Harry nodded earnestly. "Yes, sir. Of course."
"Now this spell scrambles the words so they become unreadable, unless a password is spoken while tapping the wand to the paper. That is probably the easiest one to do. You need to think hard on the password while speaking the words celo scriptura … and this is the movement for the spell. Give it a try … yes, very good. With a bit of practise you should have no problems," Dumbledore said with an encouraging smile. "You will know if you were successful when the words shift."
"Now you can use the same spell to link it directly to a recipient, but that variant is a bit trickier to cast, I fear. Not because of the spell itself. For that you only need to concentrate on the person you want to be able to read the words, instead of thinking hard on the password. But you see, you either need to know the magical signature of your target, or at least have a very clear mental picture of him. And well, I do not know if you can do either for Professor Snape?"
.
oOoOoOoOo
Harry looked down, picking on the buttons of his robe while he thought. Magical signatures had of course come up at times during classes, but they had learned nothing yet about how you could identify one. And at the moment he hardly had a clear mental picture of Snape, did he?
"Sir? I must admit I still have problems understanding Professor Snape. I think I know why he didn't like me, but some of what he wrote has also confused me," he said slowly, trying to put his confusion into words. "So I'm not sure if I could use that method. I mean, I just don't get him. He is so … contradictory. And complicated. And he also hinted at things that … I'm not sure I understand."
He gave the headmaster another hopeful look.
Dumbledore peered back at him with a considering air, as if he was weighing the merits and drawbacks of telling Harry more about the potions master. Finally he sighed.
"There are many things I cannot tell you, Harry, because those secrets are not mine to share. But I would suggest you ask Professor Snape himself … and I would further advise you to inquire about his role in the war against Voldemort. You may also inform him that I sanction his telling you … whatever he is willing to impart to you."
The headmaster's eyes were penetrating.
"But this needs to be restricted to when you are actually talking with him in person, and in a secure location. And whatever he chooses to tell you, if he does, you may not share with anyone. In fact, it might be prudent if you swore a Wizard's Oath beforehand."
Harry felt taken aback. They had suddenly strayed into serious territory. Still …
It appealed to both the Gryffindor and the Slytherin in him, he had to admit. Secrets edged with danger … for all that he craved to be normal, he probably wasn't, at least not in this respect. Because normal people probably didn't find dangerous secrets so … attractive. Kind of irresistible. He sighed inwardly. And knew he'd already made up his mind to ask Snape.
Because he was probably doubly damned. Lions were cats, and cats were rather curious, right? And snakes were considered very secretive, after all. And he really was both, wasn't he? Like a chimera, though without the goat part. Then again, he could be very stubborn so … maybe a bit of goat, too.
Harold Evans, the chimera of Hogwarts.
It might also mean keeping secrets again from Ron and Hermione. The most worrisome thing about that was, that it didn't particularly worry him. Apparently he really liked secrets. And if he was found out, he could always blame it on the headmaster's orders. Conveniently so. Do not get found out, and if you are, blame it on someone else. It was probably the Slytherin motto.
"However, do not ask him this lightly. Only do so, if you are sure you are ready to hear the answer … any answer. You may not like what you discover."
Harry sighed. "I should hope I've learned that lesson by now, sir. There are always consequences, and most of the time they are really not what I would have expected. Or wanted, for that matter."
"Indeed. But in this case, I must warn you there will definitely be such consequences. I have told you more things recently than I had intended, since I realise you were forced to a maturity beyond your apparent years, but ..."
He broke off, and looked intently at Harry over his half-spectacles.
"Sir?"
The old wizard took a deep breath before continuing. "This would likely draw you deeper into the webs we spin to counter the forces of Darkness, Harry. Webs that most are blissfully unaware of. Yet I know you keep finding yourself tangled in them over and over again in any case, so maybe … it is for the best if you lose your ignorance."
"You mean my innocence?"
"Some would say it is the same thing."
"And what do you think?"
The headmaster sighed. "I would love to preserve your innocence, but I fear you do not actually have much of it left. Between your childhood and your experiences in the last two years … I honestly cannot see how you could have retained it. It would be foolish of me to try to keep something intact which does not exist, especially when ignorance will not work in your favour."
"Some things might have worked out differently if I had known more, sure," Harry said thoughtfully. "And had someone reliable to go to with what we found out," he added, and didn't try to keep the resentment out of his voice.
Dumbledore actually winced at that. "Yes. I fear too many of us have not taken you serious enough. It is hard to look beyond your apparent age … especially for anyone who is used to dealing with children all the time."
"I think I know what you mean. Most of them are very immature still, aren't they?"
"Yes. You are in many ways very different from the other students. Due to the circumstances of your life, you are not really a child anymore, much as it grieves me. You have developed a much more … complex nature than most of your friends."
"Is that the reason the Sorting Hat had such a hard time with me?"
"Well, it is not often it wants to put someone into Slytherin, and yet lets itself be swayed to put that someone into the opposite house instead," the headmaster pointed out, giving him a considering look. "Not that you do not fit in there, but ..."
"Yeah. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't said no to Slytherin. And at times I rather feel like one, too," Harry admitted. "Especially recently. Something about this seems to bring that side of me out more and more."
"You have spent a lot of time in introspection this summer. And you learned many things, both about yourself and our culture. That is bound to have affected you."
"I simply can't tell if it's a good or a bad thing," he admitted, with a grimace.
"Dear boy, we are not two-dimensional beings. Nor are we limited to a few character traits. Any growth of character is just as likely to go into new directions, as it is to deepen old ones. In any case, those traits were there to begin with, else the Hat would not have considered you for the house of the cunning and ambitious."
"So you don't think it is a bad thing?"
"No, Harry, I do not think it is a bad thing at all. Especially given how you will indubitably continue to become involved in our struggles against Voldemort and the Darkness he left behind. Having a cunning and manipulative side can only be to your advantage there. Especially if few expect it of the brave and brash Gryffindor," the headmaster concluded with a wink.
"Sir? Do you think I should tell Professor Snape about this? That I nearly ended up in Slytherin?"
"Hmm. It may ease his mind about you, and your involvement. As well as give him a nice surprise," Dumbledore suggested with a merry twinkle and an almost anticipatory air.
"You enjoy surprising him, don't you?"
"It is a rather rare occurrence, sadly. It is not easy to surprise Professor Snape. And I think you may well soon learn why it is so hard."
"So you do want me to ask him?"
"Yes. I think you should. And know, that I do trust him. With all our lives. You need to remember this, when the time comes."
.
oOoOoOoOo
So he came away with, surprisingly, a fair few answers. Not necessarily the ones he had wanted, but still … answers were good. They proved that Dumbledore was actually taking him seriously. Which was … promising. Though he'd also gotten a lot of … hints. And an invitation, of sorts. Because the headmaster had more or less sanctioned Harry's increased involvement in … whatever the adults were up to. The next step was apparently to ask Snape about it. Which was … a challenge. Kind of. Or a hurdle. Because Snape certainly wasn't the type to give up his secrets easily, headmaster's approval notwithstanding.
He yawned as he crawled into his bed and settled himself comfortably. The day had been full of … emotional discoveries. It grieved him a bit that he finally learned more about his father … only to find James Potter had been rather less than perfect. Maybe that was the reason Harry had never been told much. Because they were only human, after all, and the people who might have told him more didn't want to spoil his father's image for him. Or were uncomfortable with their own parts in whatever had happened.
When he came up to the tower, after his long talk with Dumbledore, he stumbled right into a heated argument between Ron and Hermione. Because apparently Crookshanks had been chasing Ron's rat around, and the redhead was angry about it. Well, Scabbers had been the family pet for a long time. So his friend was attached to it, even though it was such a scruffy and frankly unpleasant animal. And Hermione was just as loud and determined in her defence of her cat.
By the time Harry arrived on the scene, they were at the yelling and waving fingers in each other's faces stage.
But really, after his conversation with the headmaster he didn't feel like getting involved in their squabble. Their looks had been flabbergasted when he just walked right past them with a simple 'good night', ignoring their shouting in favour of getting to his dorm. But he was simply tired. Tomorrow he'd have to write Snape back, and get the man to meet with him. And try to grab Ginny, so she'd introduce him to Luna Lovegood. And there would be the Sunday edition of the Prophet. Even muzzled by the solicitor, they might use that edition to take a strike at him.
So he really wasn't in the mood to deal with a silly quarrel over some stupid pets. Not when he'd just learned his father used to be a bully. Even if he grew up later. He still left his misbehaviour as a legacy for Harry to deal with, in the form of a resentful teacher who took his dislike for the father out on the son. Of course James Potter couldn't have known this would happen. But it had.
Always ... consequences. And when they affected other people … matters could get ugly. Especially when you mixed in ignorance, and secrets. Between all those hints dropped by both Snape and the headmaster, and Sirius Black's inexplicable betrayal, and whoever was behind the Prophet's attacks … he felt there were plenty of secrets around.
And a lot of ignorance for him to get rid off.
.
oOoOoOoOo
AN: Another talk which got out of hands. Sigh. They have a habit of doing that recently. Thanks everybody for the reviews, though I still wish this story could garner more of them. It really helps, especially with a story like this where the plot isn't really set in stone, aside from trying to include canon happenings.
Looking over the listings of Irish newspapers, I found that most of them were actually printed in English. I would have liked to give the Wizarding paper a Gaelic name. However, since I don't speak the language, I fear the result would have been potentially … rather garbled, anyway. So I decided to simply stick with an English name after all. And since I wanted something to match the slight pomposity of the British 'Prophet', and there is an actual 'Herald', I thought 'The Harbinger' would have a nice ring to it.