Chapter 11
FINNICK POV
The train ride to the Capitol seemed longer than usual to Finnick. He has had meetings like this with Snow for ages so he isn't worried about speaking with him. He just hates this place. He is just grateful he doesn't have to speak with some high class man or woman this time, just the President.
As soon as he gets off the train he sees one of Finnick's bodyguards waiting for him.
He is thankful it is one he can tolerate. He didn't get the names of all of the bodyguards and even if he did, he wouldn't have bothered trying to remember them.
"Finnick." The man says and bows his head for respect.
"Yeah, hi." Finnick says unamused.
"You should fix that attitude before you speak with our President." He says with a cheery smile.
Finnick rolls his eyes. He knows the bodyguard is right, the citizens aren't the only people who care for manners. However, since Finnick and Snow both know he doesn't want to be there but will follow orders like an obedient dog it doesn't really matter how pleasant Finnick is.
Finnick just sighs instead.
They get in the car and sit in silence for the ride to the Presidential Mansion. Snow's house is ridiculously large. However, he doesn't just live there it is where he holds events and important meetings.
The first time Finnick was there unescorted it took him almost forty minutes to find Snow's office. An avox found him and brought him to the President. Finnick expected him to get yelled at or threatened, but nothing happened. Finnick thinks the person who was supposed to be escorting him got the blame instead.
The gates open as the car pulls into the driveway slowly.
"You're not going inside today." The bodyguard says harshly as Finnick heads to the front door.
"Then where are we going?" Finnick asks.
"The greenhouse." He says and directs Finnick to the side of the house. Finnick has been in here once and it was only for a few minutes.
He knows it's a garden Snow tends to himself personally that is filled with flowers, most of them are roses.
"Here we are." He says and holds the door open for Finnick.
Finnick notices the two guards already outside the door in case someone tries to kill him. Finnick would do anything to see that happen.
Finnick is engulfed by the scent of roses as he enters. It is more bearable than the one Snow wears in his pocket. It smells fake, but these smell real and most of them are in full bloom.
It doesn't take him long to realize every flower in this place is white.
Finnick notices one that is dead and picks it from the bush. A thorn pricks his thumb causing little blood to come out.
"That is why the gardners take care of the dead ones." He hears Snow say behind him.
Finnick wonders if he was watching him the whole time.
"I see." Finnick says. He throws the flower in one of the waste baskets that holds weeds.
"What do you think of my garden?" He asks.
"When you think of flowers you think of color." Finnick says.
"Red is lovely, but there is something about white that is beautiful in it's own right." He picks a rose from the bush. "It's so pure." He says and smells the flower.
Finnick tries to hold in a laugh, but it ends up coming out as a grunt.
"You find that funny Mr. Odair?" He asks.
"Coming from your mouth yes." Finnick says.
"I never said I was pure just the color. Some people say red evokes love or anger, the color blue sadness, the color yellow happiness and sunlight."
Finnick doesn't respond, he doesn't know what to say.
"Aren't you curious why we are meeting in here today?" Snow asks.
"Honestly, yes." Finnick says.
"I wanted to show you a room in the mansion I enjoy the most." Snow says.
"I see." Finnick says. He doesn't know where Snow is going with this.
"I'm sure you have a favorite spot at home."
"Not, really. I can't look at District 4 the same way since you started controlling my life." Finnick says. It's not entirely true, but he isn't going to tell Snow his favorite spot in District 4, he is fearful he will somehow get rid of it.
There's a small island even you could call it that. It is really just a sand dune in the middle of the ocean. You can only find it during low tide and when you are laying on it it feels like you are somewhere else entirely, like on a different planet. He knows it will eventually wash away one day and he will need to find another place to hide from everything else.
"Oh I see that's too bad." Snow says.
"Are we going to do the review in here sir?" Finnick asks.
"No, I just wanted to show you my garden." He says with a smile. One that is genuine and not threatening.
"Alright." Finnick says.
"I also wanted to give you a chance to ask me anything without the many ears in the mansion.
Finnick is puzzled by this, but is going to ask about Annie anyway.
"What are you going to do about Annie?" Finnick asks.
"Oh yes, Miss. Cresta." He says and smells the rose again. "She's very pretty and even though she can't waltz she seems to be good at other dancing." He says.
Finnick rolls his eyes.
"What are you going to do to her?" He asks.
"Are you asking because you care for her or because she wanted you to?" He asks.
"Because she wanted me to." Finnick says.
Snow smiles that smile when he thinks Finnick is lying to him.
"I want to hear what you think." He says surprising Finnick.
"I think you don't plan on selling her, your wording was too vague. Lena thought that as well and she doesn't know the way you think like I do."
"Very good Mr. Odair. I had little intention to give her away to people." Snow says. He never uses the word sell because he finds it too vulgar.
"But." Finnick says because he can tell one is coming.
"There is no 'but'. I didn't have any intention to give her away until you kissed her."
"You wanted her to be remembered." Finnick points out.
"She was because of you. You kissed her so now people want to know what it feels like to kiss her."
"People want to kiss her just because she kissed me." Finnick says confused. It's hard to understand Capitol people's logic sometimes.
"She was special enough for you to break the rules." Snow says.
"Multiple women and men have kissed me and I don't see you chasing them down." Finnick says.
"That isn't my concern. I have something all set up for her next visit." Snow says.
"What is she going to be doing?" He asks.
"In October you and the other victors will be going to the big celebration party."
"The Masquerade Ball." Finnick says remembering.
"That's the one and the rules will apply to her as well." Snow says.
The rule is when they announce the last song everyone needs to pick a partner to dance with. Once the song is over the person you were dancing with gets to take off your mask and takes you home if they wish. Some people don't when they see who is underneath the mask, but Finnick has always been taken home by someone.
"I see." Finnick says.
At least he isn't just giving her away. Finnick thinks to himself.
"Now, we should go inside and go over that client list." He says.
Finnick doesn't respond, but follows him back into the Presidential Mansion where they go name after name of the people Finnick has been sold to. It takes almost all afternoon and Finnick has already found some cracks in Snow's foundation. Finnick has noticed this every time they go over his review.
He tracks the social status and political relationships between all the woman, but not the men.
Male clients are few and far between for Finnick. Finnick isn't stupid he knows there are just as many Capitol men who like him as women. His stylist made many passes at him even when he was fourteen. Finnick gets the feeling that is why he got reassigned a few years later.
Finnick knows the reason he doesn't see many. It is because they take extra effort to plan. Most politicians want to keep it a secret so he can't go to their house or certain hotels. Finnick knows this annoys Snow to no end so Snow just gave up. Snow only gives Finnick away to men when he owes someone a favor.
However, they still gossip like all Capitol citizens do. They talk about him and other important news that will eventually lead back to others ears. Almost all high class Capitol citizens are linked in some way. Finnick knows Snow knows this as well. If they were going over 'performance' reviews he would get it. But they only go over how the clients might know each other.
Finnick doesn't talk most of the time. It is actually boring to him most of the time. He knows he has to comment and listen or else it will come back to haunt him in some way. He makes comments on what they talked about if it was a social date. Depending on how long the wait he honestly can't remember and Snow is fine with this if it was over three months ago. That is when these reviews take place every three months.
"Mr. Odair." Snow says.
"Yes sir?" Finnick says.
"Look at this for me." He says and hands him a binder. It's thin and holds many pages.
Finnick opens it and sees multiple scribbles. He knows it isn't Snow handwriting.
He flips through the pages and notices drawings, topical maps, and environmental studies. He feels uncomfortable when designs of what appears to be a torture room. So many sharp weapons; spears, spikes, a machine that can pull your nails out, a device he has seen that can removes eyes, and a remover for tongues.
Finnick stops flipping when he figures out what the book is. It's design plans for an arena. He can't tell if it is past or present but he doesn't care to know any longer.
"Gamemakers are only supposed to look at plans for an arena." Finnick says.
"Don't worry that design isn't the final arena. It got thrown out actually. I thought Capitol citizens might not like the red room."
Finnick knows the phrase red room. A red room is a place in your home where people in the Capitol like to show dominance. It could be for sexual reasons or they just like beating the crap out of their servants. Finnick thinks it is called a red room because sometimes blood is shed. The second thought is that people actually created a room to beat their servants. How low could you sink just to hire people to beat them.
He isn't interested enough to ask where the name came from. He has been in more than he would like and none of them had red walls.
"Who made this?" Finnick asks.
"The new Head Gamemaker."
"There's a new Head Gamemaker?" Finnick says surprised. He didn't think Annie's games were considered boring.
"Don't worry the general population enjoyed last games, he just wanted to retire. He made your arena." Snow says.
"So who is the new person?" Finnick asks.
"A man named Seneca Crane." Snow says.
He is looking at Finnick as if for a reaction.
Why does that name sound familiar? Finnick thinks to himself.
Oh. Finnick thinks when he gets it.
He has heard things of Seneca Crane and doesnt know which one rumor is real and which one is not. One is that he is a clueless man who made his way to the top by blackmail but now he doesn't know how to do his job.
The other, he killed people to get to the top and took great pleasure with the kills. One of Finnick's clients is supposed to be a friend of Crane's and said his red room is filled with multiple torture devices. He is rumored to go through multiple servants and assistants that are never to be seen again. The implication is that he kills them.
So Crane is either a clueless man or a psychopathic killer. Finnick doesn't know which he would prefer. People underestimate how stupidity can be a dangerous thing.
"A bit young to be a Head Gamemaker already." Finnick says.
"So you have heard of him." He says with a smile.
"I've heard multiple stories of that man and don't know which to believe. I'm sure you know half the gossip people spute is false." Finnick says.
"Yes I do, which one do you believe?" He asks.
"He isn't as stupid as people think if he was able to earn Head Gamemaker with your approval. From the drawings I would definitely say he has psychopathic tendencies, but I don't think he is a killer. I just think he has very strong fantasies and wants to see the tributes play them out for him." Finnick says.
"Your take on Capitol citizens always surprises me Mr. Odair." Snow says with a smile.
He isn't going to tell me what he thinks. Finnick thinks to himself a little angry. He doesn't know why he expected him to.
"I want you to take a look at last years as well." He says and hands him another binder. This one is much thicker.
"Just stick to the last page for the overall report." He says.
He does and sees that the mutt attack at the start of the games was a mistake. There are comments that state trees should've been involved. Another stating that the weather conditions were nice.
The excitement level was rated at 87 percent from a poll.
Citizens liked the breaking of the dam and most people's favorite event was the watering hole showdown. The people disliked all the rain because it made it hard to see the tributes.
Then there is a list and graph going over the betting history. Finnick doesn't bother with this and the last page has the Head Gamemaker's prediction and the actual victor. Finnick has heard that the Head Gamemaker sometimes has a favorite and 'helps' them get further along.
The Head Gamemaker predicted the boy from 2 would win. It's usually someone from a career district. Finnick finds it ironic because he was the first career dead. However the name that is written down as victor isn't Annie's it's the girl Annie drowned; the last tribute killed.
Did this man do it on purpose? Did he try and rig the games?
"It's not Annie's name." Finnick says.
"No it's not." Snow says.
"Did this man really retire." Finnick says. He knows Gamemakers get killed if they don't do their job as well as expected.
"Oh yes, he is still alive and well Mr. Odair." Snow says.
Finnick can tell Snow isn't lying.
"But it's not Annie's name-"
"No it isn't Mr. Odair. That's how memorable the last two tributes were. They didn't even look alike and he confused their names."
"Maybe he was careless and that is why he retired."
"No, it's because both of them were too plain. You asked earlier what I planned to do with Miss. Cresta and the answer is on that sheet of paper."
He had no intention of selling her just to drag her out for special events that all the young victors attend.
"Why bother showing this to me then." Finnick says.
"She was boring until that party. You made the ordinary girl more interesting. I can't just give Miss. Cresta away like normal because I hear reports that she is mentally unstable.
"All the victors are." Finnick says.
"Not like her from what I am told." He smiles. Finnick wonders who is feeding him this information.
His mind goes to Lena immediately. If Snow forced her hand she would tell him but her reports would be biased even Snow knows that.
"I'm sorry sir, but do you have a point to this?" Finnick asks.
"Yes, stop getting involved in other people's affairs. If you wouldn't have kissed her she would still be seen as too ordinary."
He knows the comment isn't just about Annie.
"Anything else?" Finnick asks.
"No more red jewel. No more going to the red light districts. No more asking Victor Zayden to do you favors. You come to the Capitol, visit only the people I tell you too and then go back to District 4 when you are told. No more field trips by yourself, unless it is during the Hunger Games."
He can feel the collar Snow holds tighten around his neck.
He must of found out about Molly or that he was at least snooping into something he shouldn't have. Snow wouldn't care if he was just visiting red light districts or handing around drugs. The fact he mentioned Zayden's name makes it obvious it was about Molly. Finnick knew someone would hear them talking at the party even though there was loud music. Anyone in that building could've been hired for Snow and not just the obvious goons.
"Do you understand this Mr. Odair. " He says.
"Yes." Finnick says immediately. He hasn't gotten a scolding from Snow in awhile. It was bound to happen again because Snow likes to remind people he is the one in control. No matter how much false freedom you appear to have.
"You are now free to leave." He says.
A guard opens the door signaling Finnick to leave the room.
"You're not going to hurt Zayden are you?" Finnick asks.
"No, Zayden is what District 4 Victor's should look like. People also love him back in 4." He says.
Only Zayden volunteered out of the people who are left. Lena was the chosen tribute to volunteer so no one else bothered. It's unclear why no one volunteered for Finnick or Annie sometimes people in District 4 don't bother and it happened two years in a row. He knows the school and training center doesn't like it.
Lena and Zayden act as victors should. They are both proud of winning and are thankful for the house and other rewards they were given. They like to flaunt it sometimes. Lena with her shallowness and buying almost all the clothes mermaid shopping store.
Zayden with his gambling and fitness guide and regime that he will tell or sell to anyone. There's a small store that sells vegetables where you can buy his fitness regimen so you can try and look just like him. The same store owner wanted Finnick to make one but he didn't. One, because Zayden would be angry that he is stealing the spotlight from him once again. Two because he didn't want to. Every year the shopkeeper asks him though. He only goes in the shop because he has the best vegetables you can buy.
"When will I be seeing you again?" Finnick asks.
"Not until the games begin." He says.
Finnick nods than leaves.
He has a few months to wait around in District 4. A few months of peace.
ANNIE POV
"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no." Annie says and runs to the kitchen when she sees smoke coming from the oven.
She takes out the tray of what would be muffins and sets it on the counter. They're burned to a crisp. Annie forgot to set the timer for the muffins she was making. She was outside doing yoga -poorly- when she noticed the smoke. She knows there is an alarm in her house so it probably wouldn't have burned down.
She still has batter to make the another round. This isn't a recipe from the Odair cookbook it's one that her Mother would make on the rare days they had blueberries. They were too rich for her family's taste to have all the time. But, when they had them her mother would always blueberry muffins.
"Dammit it." Annie says and throws the muffin tin in the sink carefully.
She lets the oven air out before she puts in the other pan. She is glad she only put in the one pan, she might be able to salvage some of the muffins.
She stays inside this time for the twenty minutes it takes for the muffins to bake. She paces around the house and tries to stop thinking about Finnick in the Capitol.
She is only worried for selfish reasons though, she just wants to know if Snow told him anything about her. When her father came over to the house yesterday all she could do was stare off into space thinking about it. It's been like that for the past few days. She is regretting not asking Finnick how long his reviews usually take.
She hears the timer go off this time and takes out the muffins that are a perfect golden brown on top.
She smiles and carefully sets them on the cooling rack when she hears someone knocking on the door.
She answers it almost too quickly. It could be anyone at her door. Her father, brother, Zapp, Mags, or Finnick.
She is glad for once that it is Finnick knocking on her door.
"What's burning?" He asks.
"Hello to you too." Annie says and lets him in.
"Hi sorry." Finnick says and goes to the kitchen. "These don't look burned." He says.
"I burned the other batch." Annie says and hands him a muffin.
"This is a Cresta family recipe." Annie says with a smile.
He takes one and eats it.
"Good." He says.
"Thanks." Annie says.
"You look anxious." Finnick says as he finishes the muffin.
"I was worried about your trip." Annie says.
"Don't worry I'm fine. Snow might have given me a stern talking to but-"
"You got in trouble, for what?" Annie asks worried.
"Something I did during your Victory Tour and at the Saints and Sinners party." Finnick says.
"No one is going to die." Annie says.
"No, I just don't have as much freedom as I used to."
"Freedom, in the Capitol." Annie says confused.
"I could go anywhere I wanted as long as I had a bodyguard with me."
"Not any longer." Annie says.
Finnick nods.
"Don't do things that will get you into trouble Finnick." Annie says gently and puts her hand on top of his.
"Don't worry, I was thinking of taking a step back from the extra activities I've been doing anyway." Finnick says.
"Just don't put yourself in danger when you already have a gun to your head." Annie says.
Finnick nods.
"I'll stop my bad boy activities." He says with a teasing smile.
"Good." Annie says with a smile.
They just sit in the kitchen in silence for awhile.
"I asked Snow about you." Finnick says because he knows she is dying to ask.
Annie almost forgot about that. She was worried when Finnick told her Snow scolded him.
"What did he say?" Annie asks softly.
"In October we are going to a Masquerade Ball." Finnick says.
"What else?" Annie asks. She can tell by the look on his face that he isn't telling her something.
"Nothing." Finnick says.
"I wanted you to ask him to know the truth so don't hold back any information."
"I messed up Annie." Finnick says.
"What?" Annie asks confused and concerned.
"I shouldn't have kissed you during the Saints and Sinners party."
Annie thought Finnick forgot about that kiss. She still is keeping the thoughts of that kiss locked in a box in the back of her mind.
"Why?" Annie asks.
"I made you seem more desirable, special."
Annie scoffs almost offended.
"I'm talking from Capitol perspective Annie. They thought you were plain and ordinary before." Finnick says.
That isn't a shock to her. People in 4 thought that about her until she won. Somehow the title of victor gives her an exotic attraction.
"So what, just because you kissed me I am suddenly more interesting." Annie says.
"I broke the rules for you and then people started making rumors that I was having a secret love affair back home."
"We are just friends." Annie says but feels a lump in the back of her throat. The kind she gets when she is lying.
"Friends don't usually kiss each other." Finnick says more to himself than Annie.
Finnick clears his throat.
"The point is because of this after the Masquerade Ball you are going to have to go home with someone." Finnick says.
"Go home… like go home and hang out or go home and do something else." Annie says, but she already knows the answer.
"The second one." Finnick says.
Annie doesn't know if she wants to scream or cry so she does neither. She doesn't blame Finnick he was trying to help her during the Saints and Sinners party, but the thought of her going home with some random Capitol citizen makes her feel sick.
"I could probably recognize some of the people and make sure you are dancing with a decent human when the night is over." Finnick says.
"No one is going to want to dance with me." Annie says.
"You will be dressed up making yourself harder to recognize." Finnick says.
Annie doesn't know how to respond. She didn't know how she would react to hearing she would be part of the victors club of forced prostitution.
"There's a catch though." Finnick says
"Oh great what's that?" Annie says worried.
"If this person doesn't like you, then you'll probably just have to attend lavish events like all the younger victors do." Finnick says.
He didn't know how to phrase it correctly because that is not what Snow implied. He implied that if she didn't have some type of mental breakdown than she would be treated like all the others.
Annie doesn't want to think or talk about this anymore so she just blurts out the first thing that comes to her mind.
"It's Friday." Annie almost yells.
"Yes, it is." Finnicks says confused.
"I thought you were going to be gone so-"
"You were going to cook dinner." Finnick says trying not to laugh.
"I know how to cook Finnick." Annie says slightly annoyed.
"You just burned a batch of muffins." Finnick points out.
"I was distracted and forgot to bring the timer out on the back porch." Annie says
"Okay." Finnick teases.
"You said the one you ate was good." Annie says.
"Well, it was." Finnick says with a smile.
"Good, now I can prove it to you tonight at Mags' house." Annie says.
"Maybe I should make a backup." He says.
"Don't you dare." Annie says and playfully hits him.
"Well, if we end up hungry by the end of the night you're the person to blame." Finnick says.
"Just come by at six." Annie says.
"Okay." Finnick says.
Annie went shopping to get all the fresh ingredients before Finnick came home. The dish she chose isn't that hard to make. A lobster pasta dish with fresh basil and a garlic cream sauce with garlic bread.
She only went with lobster because one of the fish shops was having a special sale. Annie could buy anything she wants, but is still frugal. She's been that way her whole life and she can't change that because she has bags full of money.
"Hi Mags." Annie says walking into her house.
Annie and Finnick have learned that it is better to just walk in if she knows you are coming over. She doesn't like walking much so walking in just gives her less pain.
"Hello Annie." She says with a smile.
"Finnick is back so he will be joining us." Annie says.
"That's lovely." Mags says.
"I think so too. Although, if I mess up he will never let me forget it." Annie says.
"You'll be fine Annie. I have confidence in you." She says with her kind smile.
Annie nods.
At least someone believes I can cook. Annie thinks to herself.
Finnick comes over an hour later.
"Do you need help?" He asks.
"No, I can do this all by myself." Annie says.
"So stubborn sometimes." Finnick teases and goes to the living room to talk to Mags.
Annie does good considering she has never used Mags' kitchen unlike Finnick. She could've asked Mags to come to her house, but they have always eaten at her house. Annie didn't want to change anything.
"Okay. All done." Annie says.
She tasted it herself and thinks it tastes fine. The sauce looks grey not white, but it tastes good to her.
She watches Finnick's face when he takes the first bite. She knows Mags will tell her it tasted fine even if she thinks it is horrible.
"So?" Annie asks when he has finally swallowed.
"I guess you can make things." Finnick says.
"It is very nice Annie." Mags says.
"The garlic bread has a little too much garlic though." Finnick says with a smile.
Annie rolls her eyes. She knows he just wanted to critique something.
"Well, then don't eat it." Annie says.
"Yes Finnick, if you don't like it don't eat it." Mags chimes in as well.
Since Annie made dinner she didn't have time to come up with dessert.
"I didn't make any dessert." Annie says.
"I know, but I brought something." Finnick says.
He didn't even try to make something. He knew he wouldn't be able to. He went into town and bought some cookies. The baker reassured Finnick they were made fresh that very day.
Annie likes the fish designs frosted on them.
"Good." Annie says.
"Yes, but I'm sure Annie could make better." Mags says teasing Finnick.
"Yeah, yeah." Finnick says with a smile.
Annie starts to clean off the dishes, but Finnick tells her to stop since she cooked this time. He does the dishes, but Annie still dries them off like usual.
"Time to go home." Mags says to Annie when it starts to get dark.
She is doing this more for Annie's benefit than her's. Mags knows Annie is subconscious when she says she is afraid of the dark.
"Bye Mags." Annie says and kisses her cheek.
"Bye Annie." She says. "Walk her home Finnick." Mags says.
She says this every time.
"Here you go." Finnick says not bothering to walk her to the door.
"Hey Finnick." Annie says before walking up her front steps.
"Yeah?" He asks.
"You're not going to be leaving again are you?" She asks.
"Not until the reaping, same as you." Finnick says.
Annie nods.
"Okay." She says.
She puts her key in the slot when she hears him say goodbye.
She turns around to say it back, but he has vanished.
"So the reaping is tomorrow." Zapp says as Annie and her are laying on the beach outside her house.
Annie nods.
She only now realized that his name is still in those glass reaping balls.
"You nervous?" Annie asks.
He shakes his head.
"No." He says confidently.
Annie nods.
She and the other victors had their meeting with the mayor already. There are four boys who are frontrunners for the volunteer slot. Annie doesn't know how many there were for her games, but it doesn't really matter. No one volunteered for her and there were two frontrunners.
"Why so confident?" Annie asks.
"Because I can feel that it won't be me." Zapp says.
"You can feel it?" Annie says. She sounds annoyed by this.
She can't tell if he is joking or not, but it bothers her. She doesn't like his callus jokes about the reaping any more. She found them a little amusing before, but not any longer because she knows what it feels like to have your name called.
"Annie, I'm not going to worry about it because whatever happens I have no control over the matter." He says and kisses her cheek. "Besides, I will be able to trust at least one of my mentors whole heartedly." Zapp says with a smile.
Annie sighs.
"And if I did win you and I could be neighbors again." He says.
"If your name was called I would want you to die." Annie blurts out.
It's like time freezes after this comment. She doesn't know what he is thinking or maybe he thinks she is kidding. Annie realizes now that there is no winner in those games. You either die in there or become one of Snow's slaves. The odds are never in your favor for whatever fate you get.
"Why would you say that?" Zapp asks confused.
"Because it is terrible being a victor. It is terrible in a death arena and coming back with nightmares and guilt each night. Once you leave you never really leave the arena or the Capitol. The Capitol now owns a piece of you that you can never get back. President Snow owns you as well." Annie says.
She can hear how angry she sounds, but it isn't directed at Zapp it is directed at Snow and the gamemakers or anyone else who had anything to do with the games.
Zapp looks at her and doesn't know what to say.
"You'd really rather I be dead." Zapp says.
"Yes." Annie says.
"Maybe I would just jump off the platform before the gong then. I would die and fairly quickly as well, cause that pink mist." Zapp says. She can tell he is angry even though he doesn't sound it.
"You can't be mad at me." Annie says.
"Why not? You never talk about being a victor to me and when you finally do all you have to say is if I go in there that you hope I die."
"It would be better-"
"No, it wouldn't Annie."
"Yes-"
"I can't tell you." Annie says avoiding his gaze.
"This is what I'm talking about Annie."
"I don't like to talk about it."
"But you can't start a conversation like that and not finish it, not give an explanation. It isn't fair Annie." Zapp says.
He's right she knows it isn't fair. She can't just tell him I wish you would die if you were in the arena if your name was called and not back it up. She gave a few examples, but not enough to satisfy him.
"Death is final there is no coming back from it. Once you're dead, you're gone forever. If you become a victor a new life begins. You become a slave especially to President Snow. He has so much power and control that with one phone call he could have you dead if he wanted." Annie says.
She is sure this is true. Having a death look like an accident could take some planning, but to kill a simple school boy wouldn't be that hard. The other victors would believe it was a murder, but probably no one else would. It isn't helping that some of the townspeople have started noticing Annie is a little odd.
She can't read the expression on Zapp's face. She can tell he doesn't believe her, not all of it anyway. Hearing someone say that the President could kill you with a simple phone call would be hard to swallow, but if he visited just one other District. Saw how some of the peacekeepers treated citizens so badly or just sat face to face with Snow to see the look in his eyes.
Annie still can't describe the emotion, but whatever it is in his eyes scares her. Just being alone in a room with that man sends shivers down her spine and she is sure Zapp would see it too and probably believe her then.
"Okay Annie." He says in a tone she doesn't recognize.
Is he just going to leave now? Annie thinks to herself.
He begs for a better reason and when she gives him one he doesn't believe her.
"Do you think I'm lying to you?" Annie asks. She doesn't want to dance around the subject.
"I don't think you're lying, but I think you might be making it more dramatic-"
"Dramatic." Annie says angrily.
She can't take it so she just starts telling him what happened during her Victory Tour and the Saints and Sinners party. The details she leaves out is that she is a terrible dancer, that Finnick kissed her, and the Masquerade Party she will have to attend in October. The outcome after that party might change her life once again. She misses being the girl that was easily overlooked and only really known at school for being the worst sailor student.
The look on his face says I don't believe you, but his eyes say otherwise, he believes her. She expects him to say something, anything but he just stands up.
"I gotta go. I'll see you before the reaping Annie." Zapp says.
"Okay… bye I guess." Annie says. She hopes he can't hear the hurt in her voice but he clearly does.
He kisses her forehead.
"I believe you." He says and then leaves without a goodbye.
"Welcome to 71st Annual Hunger Games." Aries says loudly into the microphone.
"What's wrong with you?" Lena asks Annie.
They sit on the stage in the order they won so she only has Lena next to her.
"Nothing." Annie says.
Which is a lie.
When she went to see Zapp before the reaping he basically pretended that what they discussed last night didn't happen. She wanted to yell at him in front of the whole square that this is why she doesn't talk to him about being a victor.
He did briefly mention something of their conversation, but it was so brief that he could've been referencing anything.
She's never felt so angry at someone in her entire life and she doesn't know who she can vent to about it. She could vent to Finnick but she thinks it is wrong for some reason. Lena would probably listen to her, but the snarky comments would annoy her too much. Mags is always available to listen, but she doesn't want to talk to her either.
Annie grips the seat of her chair so tightly that her knuckles are turning white. When she sees her face on the screen she looks pissed off. Some could read that is because it is the reaping. It wouldn't be a surprise to anyone that she doesn't enjoy the games considering how much she cried.
Finnick heads bobs out just enough so he can look at her.
"Are you okay?" She barely makes out.
She doesn't respond and just looks at Aries with his ridiculous teal hair and pale white skin. She doesn't even pay attention to who the tributes are. She doesn't even realize the reaping is over until Finnick touches her shoulder. His lips are moving but she doesn't hear him.
"What?" Annie manages to get out.
"I said it's time to go to the train station." Finnick says.
"Oh." Annie says.
When she lets go of the chair her fingers are stiff and her palms have a strange imprint from the chair.
"Are you okay?" Finnick asks again.
"I'm fine." Annie says.
"Mentoring won't be as bad as you think." Finnick says.
"I'm sure that's not true." Annie says.
"Why are you so angry?" Finnick asks and grabs her wrist so they don't have to talk in front of all the train attendants and other victors.
"I don't want to go to the Capitol." Annie says.
"I know you're lying." Finnick says. He knows she doesn't want to go there, but there is something else that is bothering her.
Annie pulls her arm away.
"I know." Annie says.
She gets annoyed that Finnick can read her so easily. He knows when she is sad, angry, confused, and anxious. It's like he has known her for years and yet has barely known her for one.
"I wish they were dead." Annie says louder than she should've there are cameras all around the district.
Finnick covers her mouth with his hand as if that will stop the words she already said.
Annie pushes him away.
"They should just automatically execute all the kids whose name got drawn. It would be so much easier." Annie says.
She's so angry she can feel tears form in her eyes. Annie cries when she is sad, happy, and angry.
"Stop talking." Finnick says annoyed. He knows she should know better by now. "Just get on the train." Finnick says.
Annie doesn't respond just starts walking to the train. The train that will take them to the Capitol. The train that will take at least one of the tributes deaths if the other wins.