A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I finally managed to wait a week to upload xD
Chapter 11: In Which Rem is a Nuisance
It was usually on these car rides that L most missed Whammy. The founder of Whammy's House had had a skill with driving, with everything really, that had yet to be matched by any mortal. L had been heartbroken when he learnt that Watari would not protect his identity, he had pleaded with him to be reasonable, to not force Kira to kill his mentor and the closest thing to a father figure L would ever have in his life, but no. Watari had been obstinate. Killing him made L regret ever starting the game of the Death Note, but it couldn't be helped. If he left him alive, he could have talked to someone, and then L would have been sentenced to the electric chair. L was simply preserving his life; Watari wasn't Light, he couldn't just disappear from the rest of the world when he wanted him to. Whammy was one of the world's greatest inventors and had almost as many contacts as L himself…and he knew L's real name.
The Kira supporter who was driving his car now was adequate, he supposed, but it was nothing like the gliding cruise Watari's chauffeuring used to be. L also hated squeezing all of his hair into the stuffy hood of his sweatshirt to protect his identity.
L sighed as they reached Amane Misa's hovel. He instructed the driver to park the car far from here, in an inconspicuous area, and wait for his call. The driver was enthusiastic, seeming to think this was some sort of a spy movie. If L had been any good at driving, and didn't want to shield his face from the traffic cameras, he would have ditched this supporter a long time ago.
He couldn't have used Mikami either, the man had to stay behind and keep things running at headquarters.
L groaned under his breath as he climbed the stairs to get to Misa's apartment. Now he would have to deal with her and her infuriating demon spirit. He had never met a more ridiculous character, Ryuk included. I mean, what kind of a self-respecting Shinigami, a God of Death, to be clear, would fall in love with a twittering model with half a brain?
Stupid, that's what it was. At least he could say his love for Light came from common interests, a shared intelligence level, mutual affection and physical attraction. Why on earth was the demon in love with Misa?
L sighed, knocking hard on Misa's door, three times no hesitation, then twice slowly. The knocks had been her idea, for the record. She wanted to make sure she was ready to see him every time he visited. Apparently, despite the fact that he had repeatedly threatened to murder her in cold blood, he was still her hero for giving her the idea to kill her parents' murderer and all murderers like him. Sometimes, L felt bad for distrusting her feelings for him.
The doorknob jiggled once, twice, then opened up to reveal a wary Misa-Misa in a lacy black outfit. L gestured impatiently for her to open the door wider and let him in, and she did so, albeit reluctantly.
"Amane-san." L monotoned the minute she closed the door behind him. "I would like you to relinquish ownership over your Death Note."
As expected, the minute he said that, the imposing figure of the demon Rem stood face to face with him, baring her teeth angrily. "Don't you dare, L Lawliet. Don't you dare attempt to threaten Misa-Misa in that manner one more time, or I will-"
"You cannot kill me, Rem, remember? Kill me, and Misa dies. You do not know which of my supporters has been entrusted with this responsibility, and you cannot kill them all before you die for attempting to extend Misa's life by killing me."
Rem glared at him, her yellow eye shining with hate. "Oh, you think you are so brilliant, don't you, human? Well, guess what? You are not as foolproof as you think. You have people you love as well. If you threaten Misa, I will kill Yagami Light."
L laughed, starting to feel the lick of that anger that had prompted him to throw his cake at Rem the last time they had had a conversation. All that had really achieved had been a pasty splatter on the wall and lots of icing to clean up (and it had been good cake too).
"Rem. I try so hard not to contradict you, with you being a Shinigami and much more powerful than me, but you make it so hard. Let me make this clear: I have no intentions at the moment of killing or even harming Misa. However, if you dare to kill Light, I will personally murder Amane-san with my own two hands. Whether you kill me to protect her or not, she will die."
Rem stared at him, otherworldly in her spindly white form, her dreadlocks shifting with nonexistent breeze.
"If you do not wish to harm Misa-Misa, why do you ask her to relinquish her notebook?"
Without a moment' hesitation, L told them.
Rem looked sceptical, or as sceptical as a towering white purple-haired monster with hipster jewellery could look, but seemed to understand the information…he hoped.
Finally, the Shinigami sighed. "I do not wish for you to have ownership of Misa's notebook."
L stared blankly at her. "Why not? I have clarified that I will not kill her." Why was this demon so stupid? To think he had been fascinated by her and Ryuk when he first met them…
Rem let out a sigh. "I understand why you must take ownership of the notebook. I understand that Misa will easily be caught if you are not protecting her. I do not wish for harm to come to her, L Lawliet, but I…I do wish for her to be able to see me."
L noticed something strange, then. Misa, who had been silent and in her place this entire time, was raising her hand, placing it comfortingly on the Shinigami's upper arm. Misa had been a lot less bubbly since her parents died, he knew, but he didn't know that she had developed things like affection and empathy to replace it. The Misa-Misa who had approached him in the beginning would never have had the emotional range to wish comfort on someone.
Misa surprised him again when she smiled sadly up at Rem. "It's okay, Rem. I know you'll always be around me."
Rem placed her enormous clawed hand on Misa's shoulder, then glowered down at L, no words necessary. L was starting to find them extremely tiresome.
"Look. There is an obvious way around this. All you want from Misa is for her to be able to see you, isn't it? Is there any particular reason you need for her to be the owner of the notebook?"
Rem shut her mouth with a clank when she realised what L was hinting towards. Begrudgingly, she nodded. "Alright. But I will hold you to your promise, human. If you do not comply…"
"I assure you, I will comply. I still require Misa to perform her duties, after all."
"And you must permit me to stay with her at all times."
L sighed, gripping the bridge of his nose. "I do not have any requirement to have you trailing me, Rem, so yes, I permit you. Misa, if you will please relinquish your notebook now."
Misa-Misa stared at L with her wide brown eyes, then flicked her long yellow hair behind her shoulder, uncharacteristically (or characteristically? L couldn't keep up with her personalities) sassy. "Alright, I relinquish the notebook."
Immediately, her eyes grew large, her mouth slackening. She did a once-over of L, then pouted. "Who are you? What are you doing in Misa-Misa's apartment?!" She screeched, her hands gripping in loose fists in front of her, a picture of anguish. A thought struck her, and her red mouth curved into a happy little smile. "Are you a fan? Did you come to get Misa-Misa's autograph?" Another thought struck her, which made her look blankly around at her apartment. "But why would you want to get Misa-Misa's autograph? She is not a model anymore. She is nobody." She looked so sad at this declaration that L was sure most of her emotion was fabricated.
L tried to control his amusement at her distressed Shinigami trying to comfort her, flitting around her and patting her shoulders anxiously.
"Amane-san, please calm down. Touch this notebook and you will understand everything." He pulled the notebook out of the waistband of his jeans, eliciting an indignant squeal.
"Are you a pervert? What are you doing trying to remove your jeans in front of Misa? Misa-Misa will call the police! Are you a stalker? Please don't hurt Misa!"
L rolled his eyes, walking briskly towards the screeching Misa and shoving the notebook in her hands before she could scream anything more. The change was, again, immediate. Her eyes sharpened, her demeanour dulled. She looked around, her eyes focussing on Rem, her lips curling into a faint, fond smile, a sad mockery of her previous exuberance.
L realised that he had no idea why she was acting this sober. He hadn't, as non-Kira-L had surmised, abused her in any way. The most he had done was make sure she wasn't going to go off the rails, which, in his opinion, was a practical thing to do. Misa wasn't the most balanced of people, after all.
Rem nodded at L gratefully. "Thank you, L Lawliet."
L nodded back, then turned to leave. His business here was over. Looking over his shoulder, he gave Misa a brief smile. "Please, Misa, continue on with your mission. The rules remain the same." Both Rem and Misa watched him until he left.
Once inside the car, L began to unwind the tape around his wrists and ankles, feeling triumphant. He thwarted Ryuk's meddling scheme, he was once again the owner of a Death Note. L was never defeated for long.
He carefully picked out the pieces of the Death Note stuck to the tape.
"Excuse me…Mitsumi, was it? Do you have a lighter there, in the front?"
The Kira supporter driving his car reached in to the glove compartment, pulling out a silver lighter and holding it as respectfully as he could towards the tinted window separating them. Just to be certain, L pulled his hood further down as he leaned forward to open the window and take it. He then placed the pieces on the nearest ashtray and burnt them. He couldn't have anybody accidentally touching them and seeing seven-foot skeletal monsters, after all.
L then placed the ashtray under the seat and stared out of the window, allowing himself to celebrate his first victory in the new game.