Part K
Fumara's
Arlington, VA
Chuck had no problem spotting Sarah. She was sitting at the bar nursing a drink and glancing at her watch. He knew he wasn't late so something else was aggravating her – probably the US Attorney and his not-so-subtle hints of personal interest. They'd talked about it and she said she'd handle it.
"Hey, babe. Drowning your sorrows?" It had been a while since he'd seen her and she looked tired and drawn.
"Oh, hey." She gave him a lingering kiss and ran her hand down his arm and grabbed his hand. "No. Not really. This case just keeps dragging on and on and I want to go home. It's nice that you're here for a while but it won't last and then it's back to every other weekend. I guess I just want to get back to Burbank and our lives."
"Got some news today – good news for both of us. Here." He handed her the thick envelope and she opened it and smiled, lighting up his life.
"How? Beckman said…oh, yeah. You took the thing. Is this why you did it, honey? Is this worth the risk? It's not important anymore. She just used it to try and get…exactly what she got."
"It's important to you. I saw how upset you were with 'Mrs. Larkin' and you know how pissed I was. Yeah, 2.0 came with this but man, it's so worth it to see you smile like that. Besides, everything worked out for the best. Now, I'm starved. Beating up NSA agents makes me hungry. Finish that and let's get a table."
She pushed the drink away and threw some bills on the bar and they went to find the hostess. She hadn't touched the drink. She was holding hands with her 'fix'.
They were seated quickly and a waiter took their orders and Sarah sat clutching the envelope as if it might disappear if she let go of it.
"So, tell me all about the evaluation today. I wish I could have been there to give moral support. This trial and the asshole running it are really bumming me out, honey."
"OK, I sparred with three experienced agents and I survived. No big deal. Wallace made notes, asked questions and then fled when Casey and I started talking about the weekend. Billie's coming out and I thought we could get together Saturday and have dinner together if it's alright with you."
"Chuck, that wasn't 'all about the evaluation'. I want details. Yeah, I think dinner with Casey and Billie is a great idea. I've missed talking with her. She's fast becoming my BFF since Ellie's gone cold on us."
"Well, you'll just have to warm her up with wedding stuff. I mean, if you still want…I'm rushing things. Sorry."
"Let's talk about that when we get home, honey. This place makes all that seem so remote. I want to go home, Chuck. I want to walk through the flea markets and sit on the beach and just be with you in our own place."
"We'll be back home together before you know it. How much longer can all this pre-trial stuff take? Don't they have their ducks in order yet?"
"There are defense motions to suppress evidence, to require additional time for this or that. The wheels of justice are slow."
Their orders were brought and they shelved the trial and the evaluation for later and talked about Billie and Casey and where they'd go. Chuck mentioned the exhibit of rare African jewels and how Billie could pay for her trip easily and Sarah just laughed. "I'll be Casey loved that comment."
Sarah walked him to his car saying she'd just hop the Metro and get back to Throckmorton Dunn and his not so subtle hints.
"Sarah, I really don't have to go back and I'd like to see where you serve your punishment time for being a great agent. Really, I would. That way I can fantasize about sneaking in and stealing you away to the copy room and having wild monkey sex while you sit on the copy machine. Those copies…mmm."
"Ooo, Kinky Chuck wants to play? Well, I guess if you don't mind the Metro hassles, sure. I'd like that. Especially the copy machine thing."
Her office was in one of the cookie-cutter Federal office buildings that clustered near the DOJ. She held his hand in the elevator and practically dragged him down the corridor to the office door marked 'US Attorney'.
"Chuck, for future reference, the copy room is down the hall on the right, second door after the men's room." She smiled and then wet her lips in an exaggerated manner and then giggled. "Wild monkey sex? Tonight, for sure."
She ushered him into the outer office and introduced him to their secretary and asked if Mr. Dunn was back yet.
"You're kidding, right? He left before you did, Agent Walker, and I don't expect him for a few minutes yet. So this is the mystery man that has Throcky's bowels backed up? Ah, I see. You're going to show him why 'dinner and whatever' is so not going to happen! You go, girl. He tried that line on me for the first four months I worked for him."
Sarah laughed but Chuck just looked mildly irritated. She'd never mentioned 'dinner and whatever' before. He glanced at his fiancé and frowned but just waited to see what she'd do.
"No! He wanted to see where I slaved away back here in DC instead of being back home in Burbank. Have they fixed the copier yet?"
Chuck almost choked and Sarah glanced over and smiled her evil ninja spy girl smile. There was a lot of mileage left in copier comments.
Just then Throckmorton Dunn slithered into the office, coiled up around Sarah's ankle and snuck a peak up her dress – at least in Chuck's mind. The man was a snake and looked the part of the successful prosecutor – hair slicked back, expensive 3-piece suit, Phi Beta Kappa chain and key prominently displayed in a vest pocket. Yep. Chuck could even hear him hiss when he spoke. He was just under 5'6" and had the usual 'little man's inferiority complex'.
"This is my fiancé, Charles Bartowski. Chuck this is Throcky – er – Throckmorton Dunn, the lead prosecutor on the trial."
Six came through with the info on the little slime bag in front of him. His handshake was limp and his thoughts were unsavory to say the least.
"I can't believe it took you three times to pass the Bar Exam for the District, Throcky. Is that why this damned circus is proceeding so slowly?"
"What? How…"
Six kicked in and logic patterns flashed instantaneously through Chuck's mind. Thank God Six had prioritized the options and citations.
"Look, Dunn, just offer the scum bucket a life term at a medium security facility and take the needle off the table. You know the juries here in the District are loathe to convict when you factor the death penalty into the mix. Make the offer, today, and cite Coleman v US. He'll take it and you can get another 'conviction'.
Dunn sputtered in indignation. "Who are you to give me legal pointers? Where did you go to law school?"
"My partner here went to Harvard and Harvard Law and she's mentioned it a couple of times, mostly after you made an unwanted advance and overture of a sexual nature. Make the offer, today, because I need my partner back with the team and in the field and you don't need a pissed off NSA agent digging into your shit and muttering about sexual harassment to his superior – the Director of the NSA."
"Well, I'll – I'll certainly take it under advisement."
"Sarah, I'll see you tonight. Maybe I'll cook instead of ordering takeout." He kissed her soundly and her toes curled and her shoe came off. 'Thanks, Six!'
He felt the warmth of Six's acknowledgement and left the trio in the outer office and walked back to the Metro. He hoped he hadn't embarrassed Sarah but Dunn's intentions were annoying her and needed to be dealt with not ignored.
Chuck left the Metro station and was walking to his car when Casey called.
"Bartowski, secure. What's up, Casey?"
"I need a favor, Chuck. I'm hung up here with some damned bureaucratic crap and there's no way I can get down to DC in time to pick Billie up at the airport. Can you meet her flight and then keep her occupied until I can break free?"
"Sure. I've got a few hours to kill but I want something in return. I want everything there is to be found on the ass wipe attorney who's bugging Sarah. I might need to discourage him."
"Done. I'll fill you in when I see you."
Reagan/National Airport
Billie O'Doyle's flight was full and she was one of the last passengers to walk out of the jetway. She was wearing her catsuit and boots and had the attention of every man in the place and a few of the women. Her braided red hair was a beacon. She saw Chuck and ran over to him and greeted him in her usual way – an open mouthed kiss with tongue and a bone crushing hug. He laughed when she made her ritualistic comment.
"What – no tongue? No hands cupping my firm ass? Still hanging around with the Blonde Bimbo? Such a shame."
Sarah had gotten used to it but still didn't like it. The first time she'd witnessed it, her growl made Chuck laugh and Billie giggle.
"Girlfriend, I always greet my exes like that. But you keep in mind that if you falter, if you leave him again, I'll be there and he won't remember your name when I'm done with him."
That was before she and John Casey had become an official 'couple'. Now Sarah knew it was just a ritual. She still didn't like it but tolerated it. Casey knew better than to interfere. It was just the way Billie was and if he wanted to be with her, he'd have to accept just how wild she was.
"John's held up with some bureaucratic nonsense and asked me to pick you up and get you situated. Let's get your luggage…"
She held up a folded suit bag and smiled. "This is all I have. I travel light and besides, I'll probably spend the weekend naked and in bed with Big John. How long will he be, sweetie. Do we have time for a quickie?"
Chuck blushed. She could make the most jaded man in America blush.
"Nope, sorry. Maybe next time. I hope you brought a dress because the four of us are going out to dinner Saturday night. Other than that, feel free to flounce around naked."
"Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to catching up on all the gossip from Sarah. How's John? Still holding off Pamela? He'd better be. So, tell me all the newest secrets. A girl's got to make a living, y'know?"
He hadn't meant to talk about it but Throckmorton Dunn came into the conversation at Billie's prodding about Chuck's mood.
"How far is it to this worm's office, Chuck? I think he needs a lesson in manners. C'mon, ex-lover boy, let's go mess with the snake. I got an idea that will settle his hash. Lead the way and don't be shy. You know you want it done but you're too damned 'noble' to do it. I, on the other hand, am neither shy," and she groped his butt, "or noble. Let's went, Cisco."
The Cisco Kid was Billie's current fascination with 50s television programs. She said 'Duncan Reynaldo is so cute' and she peppered her conversation with quotes from the show. She'd made Chuck watch a few of her bootlegged tapes while Sarah was out of town 'to keep him occupied and out of the damned bars'.
Chuck stayed in the hall outside Throckmorton's office, leaning against the wall and hoping and praying that Billie wouldn't do anything to make it more difficult for Sarah. 'Maybe this isn't the best idea I've ever had?'
Billie walked into the office and sniffed at the secretary who was shocked into silent immobility by the tallest woman she'd ever seen. Billie had borrowed Chuck's comb and had teased her hair into a large fluffy trailer park hairdo. She didn't even move when Billie threw open the inner office door and told Sarah to get out.
"Blondie, unass this office quickly and you won't have to testify about what you saw. That wasn't a request, you scrawny blonde bimbo. Me and my main man Throckmorton have to have some private time, you understand? And time is money, girlfriend, so get out!"
Sarah wasn't sure what was going on but took her orders and walked out, leaving the door ajar. 'This has got to be better than The Bachelorette.'
"Who…who the hell are you?" He stood up and straightened up, still well short of eye level.
"You, Throcky, have been chosen. I need a new lover and I've heard you are quite the man. Now, don't worry about the fee, we can negotiate."
She reached down and gave him her patented greeting, complete with tongue and she dragged his hands around and put them on her firm ass. She unbuckled his pants and pulled down his zipper with one hand, keeping him firmly in the kiss. She pulled down his white briefs and then stepped back, turning her face away from the door. He looked ridiculous with lipstick smeared all over his face and his pants around his ankles.
"Smile, Throcky. Uh…must be cold in here. Your…it's…shriveled… Make the plea bargain or your boss and your wife get emails with these photos attached. Oh, and also the AG will get a copy or four. Bye now. Have a nice day."
Billie looked at him and then at his crotch and whispered that it was going to be alright and he shouldn't be ashamed for being…small. She walked out and into the corridor where Chuck and Sarah were discussing something enthusiastically.
"I can't believe you did that, Chuck. It's insane. He's the US fucking Attorney for the District. You can't blackmail him!"
"Hey, what kind of fiancé lets his girl get pawed and harassed without doing something? What kind of husband would I be if I didn't do everything I could to stop it?"
"Chuck, this is way over the top, even for you. Billie, I can expect it from but you're better than this, Chuck. Don't stoop to his level."
"Fine. But if I get wind of anything else, he's mine. They'll never find the body either." She shrank back, uneasy with this new Chuck. In the 3 years they'd been together she'd never heard that tone of voice from him.
"We'll talk about this tonight. I just ignore him. It comes with the job, Chuck. Everyone thinks a girl spy is just trolling for casual sex. It comes with the job."
"Then quit. Tell them to get stuffed. He needs you more than you need him. Remember saying that? I don't want to argue with you about something so stupid. I'll see you tonight."
He and Billie left and Sarah felt embarrassed but deep down inside, she was tickled to death.
As the crazy pair got on the elevator she heard "Oh! Ceeesco!" and then Chuck's "Oh, Pancho!"
She couldn't stop smiling. She went back to work and overheard Dunn on the phone offering a plea bargain to the defense attorney.
Next: Home to LA; Ellie meets Billie;