Zane
It was dark...night...and like so many nights before this one I was wide awake.
I sat alone in my room, like so many nights before this one, contemplating what I was about to go through with...
The dance studio was just across the street...I could sneak over there and see who this woman was...she might have the answers I'm looking for...
But what if she didn't, then I would just be an intruder...
I had to know. I had to find out.
I dressed in my ninja suit, my old black one from when I was still learning; surprisingly it fit me well, and I snuck from my home, creeping along the shadows across the street and finding my way into the building without being seen.
I could hear music playing quietly over the speakers built into the building, slow and sad music with morose lyrics, my database suggested Human by Christina Perri...though I didn't not care for music at the moment and decided to continue my quest rather than enjoy the melody.
The ducts of the building were tight and I was starting to feel claustrophobic, but soon I found a mesh vent and peered down into the room below to see the snowy white woman Cole had described to me...
X.X.X
Elena
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it...
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
It may have been cliche to try and apply this song to my situation...I was certain the true meaning was of a bad relationship or maybe it was just the fuel of mainstream popularity...but...it always made me think of Zane when I heard it, of Zane, and my mother and father and me, and just everything that we used to have that we didn't anymore...
And all the hardships we've faced...
I wished I could erase my memories at the flip of a switch...
It would be just so easy to fall into an ignorant oblivion.
But I couldn't do that...because then I would be truly nothing...
I would have nothing to live for...
If I passed him in the street I wouldn't know who he was and how great he was to me and I just...
Couldn't bring myself to think that way...
He may not have known me...but I brought him back...and if he were to fall again I would need to keep him alive.
If I died and something happened to him I wouldn't be fit for heaven.
He was an angel...and I was fallen...
I held the tears back in my sightless eyes and continued about my cleaning, I wasn't sure what I was cleaning, but I was restless and didn't have the heart to leave the studio.
Metallic taps could be heard above me. I turned up my head and tilted it to try and hear it better, but it still only sounded like a rodent...until something large and flat crashed to the ground beside me and I was suddenly caught in the strong grip of an unknown assailant. My mouth was covered by their hand.
I screamed into it instinctively, struggling feebly, as this person was very strong.
"Be quiet!" He whispered harshly, then toning down his voice to be more tame. "I'm not here to harm, I am just here for answers..."
I was hyperventilating and starting to become dizzy. My eyes darted back an forth looking for a person I knew damn well I would never view.
"I will let go of you now." The man said. "Please don't shout. As I said I do not intend to harm you."
Slowly I nodded and slowly he let me go.
He took a deep breath as I scrambled away from him, backing myself into a corner.
"My...name is Zane Julien..."
That's when my heart stopped.
"...Please...tell me who I am..."
I repressed the urge to cry, to tell him everything, to let the depressing word vomit flow like an ocean but I just couldn't...he would only hurt worse if he knew...all those years spent away from his blood relatives...all dead except for us...all those years he was lied to...
"I...I...don't know you..." I stammered, obviously lying to someone who knew my secret, which as of now was only me. "I...don't know who you are..."
I bowed my head, whispering to myself. "I don't see you...I don't see you..."
Then...I heard him start to stifle back his sobs.
X.X.X
Zane
What have I done?
What have I just stooped to?
I broke into this woman's home and all for what? She didn't know me, scanners indicated she couldn't even see me, let alone recognize me or tell me who I was.
I felt like a filthy criminal and I just sat in teary disbelief at the horrors I had just caused for this snow angel Cole knew as Elena.
"What have I done...?" I said aloud, voice cracking slightly. "I...I am terribly sorry miss...I...please forgive me...I will leave you now...I'm sorry..."
I leapt back up into the vent and crawled back through the tiny tunnels...
Subconsciously I hoped that I would get stuck and die in there the way I deserved; die listening to the sad words of that sad song.
I can turn it on...
Be a good machine...
I can do it...
I can do it...
I'll get through it...
And as I did often these days I wondered to myself...why would anyone try to care for a stupid fool like me?