ROAD TRIP

Link's fingers brushed gold dust. He watched it swirl about his glove. His heart swelled with desires – for his friends, for his world and for all the worlds. He felt himself being dragged down. He smelled that gummy, gutty smell that filled him with horror. Strangely enough, he felt none of what was going on with his body. With a last "Hiyaa!" he pushed forward, only to be dragged back. The hero was pretty sure that the last thing he saw a pale-faced Samus Aran tearing into a piece of his liver with her teeth…

And he felt none of this as his vision blurred, save for a painful pressure in his lower abdomen. He couldn't help but laugh. If any of the zombies took a big bite of that, oh, what they'd get splashed in the face with! He didn't think he'd had that much water and red potion lately…

His nose twitched as warm light entered his vision. His eyelids fluttered open. He smelled familiar dust – not the golden kind that edged the Triforce, but the common kind of a room that needed cleaning. The young man found himself on his back in his pale blue cotton pajamas, a soft blanket of Ordon goat wool over him. He registered the wooden interior of the room he was in as well as the pictures hung on the walls of various Smash battles. He was in his chambers at the Smash Mansion – the apparently perfectly intact Smash Mansion. There was his bookshelf, his weapons-wall and his writing desk with the hand carved wolf-figure on it.

Everything was familiar… He registered that he had just awakened. That, and that he really had to pee.

Link hauled himself up to use the latrine – the indoor plumbing of the Smash quarters being a goddess-send – and winced at the cold hardwood floor on his bare feet. As he took care of business and gave his teeth a quick brush, he scratched the back of his neck beneath his long night-cap with the fuzzy-ball on the end he pondered if it was all a dream. The entire road trip, had he dreamed it? Link knew as well as anyone that time could be distorted in the dreaming mind.

His muscles felt like he'd been on that damned trip. His back was cramped – the kind of feeling that he got from trying to sleep in bus-seats. His legs and his lungs burned – the kind of feeling from the last sprint through the Temple of Time. Maybe he'd had a really hard Smash match last night? He certainly didn't remember who it was against. Maybe it was Master Hand again and the Hand had flicked him in the face hard.

Link wandered to his writing desk. The light from the second-floor window streamed in, telling him it was nearly noon. His bare feet shifted dirt on the floor. The Hylian Hero scrutinized it. It was burnt-rust red; the kind that had been all over the tracts of desert the bus had rolled through. On his desk lay a handful of dried herbs – Gerudo Sagebrush, and something that made Link's ears perk right up in horror.

An arrow lay on his desk. It was one of his, and it was splintered off and broken in the middle. It had a bit of some dried black substance on its metal tip and soaked into the part of the shaft where it met the arrowhead.

He'd come back from his angry tirade, Zelda soothing him along. The Fellowship needed to bury Pit. Samus had carried him to the grave that Red and the dog had worked hard to prepare. Dark Pit was off on his own, curled up knees to chest, wings over himself, shivering and trying to keep the others from watching him cry.

He'd come back to the place where the angel had fallen. There were a few spats of blood on the ground from where the wound had bled when the brave boy had been taken away. And there it was, the fatal arrow, discarded upon the clay earth. Link picked it up. He held it in his hands and examined it, scarcely believing that it was one of his. He'd never use it again. He formed two fists over it and with a mighty snarl, snapped it in two.

He'd tossed it into the grave after saying the Hylian Prayer for the Dead, substituting "The Light of Palutena" for "The Light of Hylia."

Link blinked. What was it doing here? Or something a lot like it? He couldn't accuse Toon Link of pulling a prank on him because how would Toony know his nightmares? Was he talking in his sleep? How long was he out?

If this was a joke, it was a cruel one.

That's when the sunlight struck a pokeball that was resting on the desk. The Hylian picked it up, puzzling over it. It could have been something he'd accidentally pocketed when coming off the stages. He was no Pokemon Trainer, but everyone used Pokemon as clever assistants. The indicator on it read that it was full. "Better get this back to Red, or to the stage props," Link muttered to himself. Curious, he hit the button on it to release what was inside, pointing the beam at the largest section of the room, in case it was something large.

"Fletchling!"

"A little Fletchling?"

The tiny bird hopped about, and then flapped upward to land on Link's shoulder.

"Hey! Stop that!" Link laughed as the little featherball playfully picked up some of his hair in its beak and started gently nibbling the edge of his ear. He withdrew the Pokemon and gave the ball a closer read.

"Nickname: Pit Icarus. FMR Trainer: Red Ketchum CRNT Trainer: Link D'Ordon."

"Okay, now, this is getting weird." Link sighed as placed the ball back on his desk.

In fact, things were so weird that Link didn't bother to change into his tunic. He slipped on his house-slippers and took a run down the stairway into the main hall. His heart was beating fast. He had to make sure everything was alright.

He found Kirby at the bottom of the stairwell, as pink and squishy as ever, dressed in a chef's hat and apron. He held up a platter of food – fried eggs and toast with spreadable Ordon goat cheese, apple butter, Lon Lon Milk and a joint of meat – Link's favorite breakfast. Link paused in front of the puffball. He shook his head in confusion. Kirby promptly opened up his maw and vacuum-sucked in the breakfast with a few small noises in his language that essentially said "More for me, then."

Of course, he accidentally sucked in too hard, drawing Link in. Link screamed loud and terribly enough to nearly rip the fabric of space-time.

Zombies! Zombies! I'm being eaten! This is what happened to Toon!

Kirby spit him out with a "Poooy?" sporting a copy of Link's pale-blue long sleeping cap and brandishing a pillow as a sword. DeeDeeDee gave him an amused expression. Link was left sitting on the stairs, rubbing his rump.

"What on Earth?" Peach asked. She and Mario turned from what they were discussing to attend to Link. In fact, all the Smashers were downstairs. Those that were not in the adjacent training rooms were staring at the mad Hylian.

Link shot up. He grabbed Mario and clapped him on the neck. He then grabbed Peach by the head and pulled at her face and gave her a quick little knock on the forehead. "You! You… your head's together! And you have a brain in there!" he exclaimed, "Um… I think!"

He darted off. "Why, I never!" Peach complained.

"What's going on, big brother?" Toon Link asked. Link grabbed him up, spun him by the arms to a loud "Wwwhooooah!" and hugged him tight, giving him a noogie.

"Hey! Hey! Stop that! I've gotta drive the Spirit Train in the arena today! You're messing up my hair!"

Link dropped him and ran to Red, who was talking to Dark Pit with Charizard out and an Absol at his side. "You promise to take care of her, right?" one of them said to the other.

Link barreled into Red and hugged him from behind. He patted a surprised and grumpy Charizard on the side. "Red! You're not bitten through! You're alive!"

"What?"

Charizard snorted flame. The Absol sat before Dark Pit and glared at Link. Dark Pit glared at Link. There were two sets of red eyes staring him down, equally un-amused.

"You're in your pajamas," Dark Pit pointed out. "Couldn't even get dressed today? You're lazier than Pit on Saturday."

Link looked around. He saw Pac-Man talking with Luigi, both very much alive. In a corner room, Mr. and Mrs. Whiffet were doing stretches while Little Mac was showing a punching bag his fury in time with the barking of his coach. Lucario was talking with Ness and Lucas. The Swords Club was at a big, round table talking to the newcomers. The one blonde young man seemed to be trying to explain his large, futuristic-looking blade to everyone else. There was a little "Mii" character in blue, enthusiastically showing off his own sword. Link had some trouble telling the difference between his old buddy, Marth, and the young woman who'd arrived whom some had been calling "Girl-Marth."

On a rug near the big communal fireplace on one wall, a dog was sleeping with a male mallard duck on his back with his head tucked beneath a wing.

Out of one of the training rooms, Samus walked tall with Fox and Falco. They spoke with a small Mii brandishing an arm-canon.

"Good to see you awake, Sleepyhead," Zelda called upon sighting Link. She glided out of the fireplace area where she'd been sitting in an armchair, reading, until she'd heard Link's ordeal at the base of the stairs.

Link rushed her, grabbed her, twirled her around as though they were waltzing and planted a hungry kiss right on her lips.

"Whoooo!" Everyone else called. They clapped and cheered. Link was sure that out of the corner of his right eye, he saw Pikmin dancing.

"Uh…Link?" Zelda asked, coming up for air. "What's gotten into you?" She was blushing very pink. She cupped his cheek and chin. "Not that I don't like it…."

"You're… alive!" Link said, huffing. "I… I saw you die! Stalfos blade, right through the sternum!"

One of the doors to another of the training rooms opened and a pair of people came out of it.

"That was a great workout, Lady Palutena! Thanks!"

"Oh, Pit, you really need to learn to be more ruthless! You aren't used to fighting with me. Remember what I said, I need us both to get strong. This tournament is training for us. Don't hold back!"

Link froze. After that, he tackled Pit, holding him by the shoulder with one hand, brushing his thumb over his forehead with the other. "You! You! You! Not a ghost! No wound! I didn't kill you!"

"Autoreticle!"

Link found himself thrown to the floor by a light-goddess' energy attack. "What are you doing, Link?" said goddess demanded.

A voice boomed over the room by loudspeaker. "NO WEAPONS-DISCHARGE OR USE OF SUPERNATURAL POWERS FOR FIGHTING OUTSIDE OF TRAINING OR BATTLE! RULES APPLY TO GODDESSES AS WELL AS TO MORTALS!"

Palutena curtsied to the ceiling-mounted surveillance camera. "I'm sorry, Master Hand," she apologized, "but he was hurting my guard captain."

"I'm okay, Lady Palutena," Pit assured her, straightening his feathers.

Link sat on the floor, trying to get his bearings. He put a hand to his forehead and looked around again. "I'm going mad!" he concluded.

"Easy, easy!" Zelda said, kneeling down beside him and rubbing his back. "You aren't mad. Tell us what you need to tell us."

"It was a dream, I think," Link began. "I had… a very vivid nightmare. It felt real… it felt so real…"

"Tell us about it," Doctor Mario said, patting Yoshi, who stood beside him. "It may make you feel better."

"Well… it began with an infection," Link said, trying to convey the story of the horrors he'd been experiencing over the past months – or perhaps just a bad night after too much spicy curry. "The tires on the beat-up old yellow bus with scuffed paint screamed as the rubber hit the road hard…"

The Smashers gathered and listened to the frazzled Hylian. Link pointed to Pac-Man and cited him as the first to fall of his group. He told Mario what Peach had done to him and spoke of how Pit had gotten hurt trying to save her. He talked of his sacrifice and of his dark twin's grief. He spoke of how Dark Pit and Samus went mad with rage, slaughtering zombies with brutal efficiency. Link told Red how Charizard became infected and killed him, and of how he'd seen a Pumpkaboo take his spirit away. The Hylian spoke of the hope that survivors had instilled, with W, Doctor Mario and Yoshi. Link spoke of the others whom he'd seen as zombies – Luigi, who was the doom of Peach, Kirby, who had doomed Toon Link – and of the great rush in Hyrule to the Temple of Time.

Ganondorf grunted. Captain Falcon laughed at him.

Zelda stood up and began clapping. Everyone else – well, save Ganondorf – clapped as well. All the Smashers formed a crowd around Link, standing, clapping, cheering and whistling.

Donkey Kong's claps were especially meaty and loud, given his large hands. Diddy was squeaking and doing flips.

"What's this about?" Link asked as he stood up.

"Poyo-poyo!" Kirby shouted.

"He means CONGRATULTAIONS!" Palutena laughed.

"Huh? What?" Link asked.

"Indeed, he does, Link!" Zelda said. "Thank you! You reached the Triforce and saved us all!"

"NOW JUST WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Link demanded. "I mean… just a few minutes ago, you were pushing me away and worried about my brain, and now… and now! I thought I was dreaming! I…I..!"

Pit walked up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Link, buddy… We were just messin' with ya!"

"Uh? Hiyaaa?"

Pit called to the other Smashers. "Everyone who was in the Fellowship, show him!"

Samus, Red, Toon Link, Ness, Lucas, Red, Lucario, Zelda, Dark Pit and W pulled white feathers out of their pockets. Duckie came trotting up, his little duck-friend resting on his back, and shook the collar he was wearing that he normally did not have on for battle around until the feather affixed to it was showing. Pit turned around and flexed his wings.

"So… the arrow on my desk… the pokeball with the Fletchling…"

Lady Palutena smiled at him. "Yes, all real."

"But… how?"

"You made your wishes known on the Triforce," Zelda said sweetly. "Our adventure happened, but everything was set right again."

"But, doesn't that mean..?" Link began.

"We all died horribly!" Pit chimed, jumping and flapping slightly into the air and letting himself drop.

"Piiiit!" Palutena scolded him.

"Yeah," Dark Pit said, crossing his arms. "It wasn't exactly a drive through the country, and we took all kinds of pain, but in the end, you came through. I guess."

"That is why Kirby made your favorite breakfast," Zelda said, taking Link by the hand. "You were sleeping so late, he was going to give you breakfast in bed. We all just kind of appeared back here last night, alive and whole, and we knew just what you did for us!" She walked along, rubbing her hero's back. "You were in bed when we all came-to, and you looked so exhausted, we decided not to wake you. I was staring to get a little worried, but you've always been a bit of a sleepyhead, in all your incarnations."

"We wanted to throw a party for you!" Pit explained, "But we didn't know how much rest you'd need."

"So you decided to mess with my mind, instead?"

"It was a' fun!" Mario chimed in.

"And we all need a little relaxation, any way we can get it," W said, striking a pose.

"We should prepare a feast to celebrate being alive!" Peach declared. "Kirby, come on in the kitchen with me, we know what to do!"

"Poyo! Poyo!"

"Yes! Cake! A big cake for Link!" Peach said, singing "La, la, la, la, la…" toward the Smash kitchen with Kirby inflating himself and floating in line behind her.

"Maybe I should get dressed then," Link said.

Before he could, Master Hand appeared and dipped down. He pointed an index finger straight at Link before very gently tapping him in the chest.

"M…Master Hand?"

"WELL DONE, HERO, WELL DONE."

Link would have called for a massive Smash, but somehow, after that long race for survival, he didn't feel like fighting. Instead, he was going to enjoy the company of his friends.

And a big cake.

Congratulations! You've got the Triforce trophy! Make your wishes wonderful!

THE END.

ENDING THREE, FINAL, DEFINITIVE GOLDEN ENDING.

As for which ending you like best, pick your poison.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!