Disclaimer: I don't ownnnnnnn.
A/N: Okay, here's chapter 11, guys! Closer to the end of this every chapter :)
This chapter is based off the premise of my one-shot "Her Moment". They're not entirely the same, but they have a similar idea, and could even be considered part of the same story. Anyway, if you enjoy this chapter, you may enjoy that as well. It too is Draco/Hermione.
Enjoy, and please review.
11. Regretted.
It had broken his heart to do it, but he knew he had to.
It had gone on long enough.
No, he didn't really believe that. But he was trying to get himself to. Because it was wrong, to be with her. It was wrong to want her opinion on things, and to listen to her vent, and to kiss her softly like they were happy.
It was just wrong.
Besides, he was ending it for her. It wasn't safe for her to be with her. He had ink on his arm – and she knew that, too. But she still trusted him. As if that was all that mattered when you were living in a war.
She wouldn't let him end it for her, of course. She wouldn't understand how he couldn't be with her, because it put her in danger. But, if she knew he was breaking her heart to keep her from getting hurt… she wouldn't let him go.
So he had to lie.
He didn't want to. But he had to. For her. And also for him. He was in too deep. He wasn't allowed to be with her. He was meant to hate her. He was meant to kill her. They were on opposing sides. And if he saw her on the battlefield, he would shoot a Killing Curse at her without hesitation.
This wasn't Romeo and Juliet. He wouldn't die for her. He had to save himself, and his family. And she was just some girl, who he'd get over eventually.
So when he met with her (in secret, as always. And thank god for that, because then he didn't need to deal with the entire school's reactions) he was ready. She looked happy to see him, which made it worse.
But he said it.
He told her it was fake. He told her he hated her. He told her that she was never good enough, that he never loved her, that she was so naïve and stupid, so easy to use.
He called her Mudblood for the first time in a year.
And when she cried, he walked away, and told himself he did the right thing.
He ignored the pain in his chest, and the little voice in his head that told him he was wrong.
; ; ;
It had been many months, until he saw her again. He would be lying if he said he didn't think about her. He thought about her everyday.
He missed her everyday.
He hadn't realized that he had already been in way too deep.
He loved her. He really thought he did.
And it was too late.
Because the next time he saw her was across a field of broken bodies, through smoke and flashing lights, with blood running down his face.
Covered with dirt and blood, barely alive, he thought that she had never looked more beautiful.
He also saw her hand, tightly holding Weasley's.
It surprised him, how much it hurt.
He had let her go. Had he really believed she wouldn't move on? She probably hadn't felt this deeply for him. He had done the right thing. He had slipped away, and managed not to get hurt.
But as he looked on, at the way her hand clutched at Weasley's, he had to ask himself again. Really? You got away without getting hurt, huh?
It took him until that moment to realize how much he regretted letting her go.
He kept looking at her. She never saw him. He didn't expect her to.
"And if he saw her on the battlefield, he would shoot a Killing Curse at her without hesitation."
He didn't raise his wand.
He had wreaked her happiness once before. He wouldn't do it again.
He turned away from their held hands, and returned to the battle raging around him.