I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!

~Bonds, Hot Spot~

~Bonds, Blades~

~Bonds, First Aid~

~Bonds, Groove~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa~

"Normal"

'Thoughts'

"Comms or phone, other side"

"Bumblebee, Tones"

"Bumblebee, Comms"

"Bumblebee, Radio"

Attack!

10:00 pm

I glance behind us as Aid pulls onto the street. Something doesn't feel right… The sirens click on, and, though I usually get a thrill from their sound, this time's different… Something's not right… "Aid?"

"Trouble at home."

I blink. "Cemetery Wind?"

"I don't know."

'Oh, God. Not again. I-I can't lose my family. Not again, and not to those slaggers.' I sigh softly. 'There's one way I can insure they'll be safe, but can I really do it… Can I really hurt someone, like that?' I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. We haven't revived any of the mechs we'd saved from KSI yet, but we've been working to get Ratchet back first. Knowing what's in the medical bay, we have to move fast. I lay a hand on my chest. 'I always said I'd do the same for them, that they'd do for me—even when "they" meant Optimus, or Heatwave from Rescue Bots. They'd save me, even if they had to end someone else. I'll save them. I have to.' I steel myself for what I know will be challenging—not because it's something I've never done—which is true enough—but because I've never killed… and I never wanted to. 'I would give my life. I would make that sacrifice… I will, for them.'

I look at the black vehicles as we pull up to the house, and let out a shaky sigh. "You okay?"

"Fine, Aid. Go hide."

"I need to get to Spot."

"Then do that!" I sigh. "Sorry…"

"Don't worry about it. You need to hide before they find you."

'I have something far more important to do…' I run into the house and up the stairs before grabbing a red velvet pouch and my pink rifle. I quickly unlock it before loading it with a determination I haven't felt since I called the police on my birthdad. 'Caught in the action of kill or be killed, no greater gift has man than to lay down his life for his brother.' I run down the stairs before diving in front of Defensor with the gun pointing at the lead human. I haven't seen him before, though. Guess they got a new leader after Savoy fell from the top story.

"What are you doing!?"

I line up the shot, trying not to cry. They're depending on me. These guys will kill them in a heartbeat. "You don't think about right/you don't think about wrong/you just do what you gotta do/to defend your own." I check my aim. "I would give my life/I would make that sacrifice." I fire, hitting the leader's arm and causing him to drop the bot-killing gun he's holding before dropping my own along with the pouch I'd brought to reload if necessary. I only hope I can get away before I start crying…

Third POV

"Retreat!"

The Protectobots return to their original forms before sharing a look.

Hot Spot stares after their attackers. "She chased them off…"

First Aid looks more than a little upset. "She hurt one…"

"Wish she'd killed him…"

"Wait." They all turn to the motorcycle. "Where'd she go?"

"She ran inside."

Aid sighs. "Let me talk with her first."

Normal POV

I'm under the largest berth, with my knees to my chest as I cry. 'That… Was the hardest thing… I've ever done… Why didn't I aim for his leg? I know I didn't kill him… but I was far too close to his heart… I don't think I could do that… but… I—' I hear a door shut across the hall. Someone's close—very close…

"Mari?"

It's Aid. 'Thank Primus. That means no one's hurt bad enough to need a medic. I wonder if anyone got to the main base? No. Bad Sheyenne. Focus.'

The door opens, and I can hear a relieved sigh. "Mari…" He kneels and peeks under at me.

I wave slightly before resting my head back on my knees. "'m 'kay, Aid…"

"No, you're not. I can tell." He sighs. "Come on out. They're gone now."

I shake my head, but still crawl into his hand. He sits on the edge of the berth before setting me down, and watches as I run to the corner before curling into it face-first. "He's okay?"

Aid blinks. "Who's okay? Spot? We'll be fine, Mari. We're still on-line."

I shake my head. "The man I—the bad guy…" I can't even admit to shooting him.

"Oh…" He sighs. "I-I don't know… They retreated."

"How's she doing?"

I glance behind me before turning back to the corner a little too quickly. "Ow…"

"She's really shaken up…"

"Like you were?"

"Worse. Her first shot was a human, Groove. You remember her story…"

I crawl over and curl into his side, clinging to him. "I broke a promise I made…"

He runs a finger over my head. "We know, Mari."

I look up and gasp before running a hand over a familiar—and frightening—hole on Aid's armor. "They got you anyway…"

"What?"

I look up at Groove to find more, and start to cry all over again. "I-I did i-it, cause I-I couldn't watch a-all of you fall l-like R-Ratch did, bu-but th-they—they hurt you anyway! I couldn't protect you!" I look at my lap. "I only hurt him to save you, but the slagger still hurt you!"

Aid looks up to Groove. "How bad are the others?"

"Not much worse than I am. We managed to shield the others, though. No one could get past us."

"Tell them to meet me in the med-bay. I'll be down soon as I get her settled."

"No." They look down at me. "Not without me."

"What?"

I sigh, a few tears rolling down my cheeks. "I could've lost you guys. I'm staying with you." I look at my hands. "Besides, you might need me." I nod to the hole. "You're hurt too."

I look around at the other bots once Aid sets me on the medical berth before nodding, satisfied that they're all still semi-okay, even though they're hurt. Groove is in front of Aid, Spot's on the other side, and Streetwise is sitting on the other side of the berth, on Groove's right. Blades sets my gun and the pouch beside me before sitting on Groove's left. I pick it up and get the shell out before locking it, then set it back down and inch away from it before turning away. I don't even want to look at it right now. I'll get over that soon enough—I did after Aaron told me to shoot him, after all, and I will again. Technical pacifism and actual pacifism are still similar, but I'd rather be the latter than the former.

"I'm sure they'll get him to a hospital, Mari." I look up to find Hot Spot staring down at me. "I doubt that really matters to you right now, though. It didn't matter to Aid."

"Did I—"

He sighs before shaking his head. "It happened when we were in combat training."

I nod before sighing. "I broke a promise, Spot… I made a promise to myself that I'd never turn that thing on a living being after he told me to shoot him if he abused me again, and I did… I-I shot someone today. I actually shot someone."

"You kept us from being KSI's newest source of Cybertronium."

I shrug him off. "So what? I still hurt someone." I sigh. "Not that saving you guys wasn't good, because it was my goal, but…"

"But you didn't want to hurt someone."

I nod. "I just couldn't lose you guys—not like Ratch…" I start crying again, this time clinging to the fire-bot instead of Aid. "Too close. Too close."

"Too close to what?"

I look down. I can't find my voice to explain. It takes a moment to remember the bond—I'm not an original, after all. It'll take a while to remember it. ~Rescue Bots…~

~What about them?~

~Too close to Today and Forever. Too close to losing…~

~We're still here.~ I nod, and hug his arm before starting to climb it. "What are you doing?"

I peek into a hole with a flashlight. "Same thing as Aid—though I'm not really trained yet. I'm checking to make sure you're not hurt too bad." I shrug when he gives me a look. "Better than moping over Rescue Bots while talking to a better rescue team." I pause to think about that, and whimper. "Way too close…"

I take a deep breath and cover my hands in the blue inferno once I'm sure there's no serious damage underneath the plating. "Hold still…" I heal the hole, then repeat the action with the twenty others before glancing over to see which I can "attack" next, before choosing Aid, who's working on Blades now—Groove's still cuddled between him and Streetwise.

All too quickly, I find myself feeling weak. I know why—I haven't had any energon since before I left for class, and I'm using the inferno a lot right now. In moments, Groove's holding a tiny (to them) cube out. It's similar to the one I filled for Brains, except a little bigger. I sigh heavily. ~Not yet, Groove. I'm not done with Street!~

~Drink it, Mari.~ I give Aid a look. ~I can finish with Street. You need that energon, or you'll collapse on us, and we don't need that.~

~Right. What happens to one happens to everyone.~ I sip from the cube before sighing. ~Still unusual…~

~It will be for a while.~

~You'll get used to it soon enough.~

~Just stay in bot-form, right?~

~Right.~ He pats my head with a finger before turning back to Streetwise. "Still, you do need to go easy on it. We don't have an endless supply right now."

"I'll remember that." I look up at him. ~How low are you guys?~

~We'll be fine for a few months, but I want to give Wheeljack the time to get a solar refinery built before we get close to running out.~

~Good…~ I sigh softly. ~I don't think I could handle watching you guys fade after watching 'Wave and Ratchet…~

~We'll be fine.~

~Wave?~

~Heatwave. Rescue Bots. They drained their energon for the town they protect. They survived, but only because of Ratchet.~

~Makes this even harder, right?~

~Right… No Ratchet, and the five of you almost getting killed by Cemetery Wind? I doubt I'll get through that if it happens—iron will or not…~

~If anything happens to us, I want you to keep going. You mean everything to us.~ He steps over and lays a hand on my shoulder. ~Don't give up on life if we're gone. Do everything you can to live your life to the fullest.~

~Man, this conversation got really dark, really fast…~ I giggle beside myself. ~All right, Aid. I'll do my best.~

Berth Room

It's another twenty minutes before Aid deems everyone repaired enough for recharge. We pile on together, with me on top as usual because of my doorwings, my head under Spot's chin as has become normal—and even I don't know why I do that. I sigh softly before starting to sing in the silence.

We may shine…
We may shatter…
We may be picking up the pieces here on after…
We are fragile…
We are human…
And we are shaped by the light we let through us…
We break fast…
Cause we are glass…

I switch to the bond, going even softer as I sing the second verse. ~I'll let you look inside me/through the stains and through the cracks/and in the darkness of this moment/we'll see the good and bad/but try not to judge me/cause we've walked down different paths/but it brought us here together/so I won't take that back…~ I pause slightly, then leave the tune, choosing to whisper the rest in the bond. ~We might be oil and water/this could be a big mistake/we might burn like gasoline and fire/it's a chance we'll have to take…~

~Do you really think you're broken?~

~Aid… I shot a guy today, for almost the same reason I was told to shoot my birthdad. I went against everything I believe I am. I was a true pacifist, until tonight… Tonight, I would have killed that man if it meant keeping you guys safe. I went outside with that as my plan.~

~Mari…~

~Groove's a technical pacifist. He didn't want to fight, but he does, so I won't have to.~ He sighs over the bond. ~We're at war, whether we like it or not, and we're field medics, Mari. We're out there, in the middle of hell. Mechs will die sometimes, no matter what we do—even if we're not the ones firing the gun.~

~I don't think willingly firing the gun fits into that, Aid…~

~You did it to save us, though. We'd do the same for you, if we had to…~

~And you still got hurt, too… I wasn't good enough…~

~You could use some training, but you did fine for being as young as you are.~

Streetwise sighs before glaring at the copter. ~Blades, you're not helping!~

~I took too long aiming, and he got Aid. I didn't get here quick enough to keep the rest of you from getting hurt. I—~

~You did your best. That's all we ask.~

I slip off the pile, and sit on the edge of the berth, my doorwings pointed to the ground.

I did my best, it wasn't much…
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch…
I told the truth, I didn't come to fool you…
And even though it all went wrong…
I'll stand before the Lord of Song…
With nothing on my tongue but…
Hallelujah…

I feel someone shift before sitting beside me, his arm around my back. "We've been through something similar with Aid. If you don't want to fight anymore, we won't make you."

"I-I…" I sigh softly. "I have to know how… I promised Ratchet…I'd fight for him…"

"We can fight for him. Don't…don't force yourself to go against who you are. We'll fight. I told Aid I wouldn't let him be in that position again—that he wouldn't touch another weapon as long as I'm alive if that's what it took…"

I sigh softly. "You don't have to go that far, Guys. I like weapons, I just don't like pointing them at something alive. That gun I used…it's mine, from back home. I got it for Christmas when I was seventeen."

A white leg slips into my line of sight as Aid settles on my other side. "Your fire won't kill, and Groove and I could teach you Circuit-Su."

I scoff softly. "Third degree burns are just as bad, if not worse, Aid. They'd be in pain…" I shake my head. "I'm not using my fire on humans, and that's final. Cons…maybe. I don't know yet." I close my eyes, and sigh softly. "I want to be my own person, now, and who I am… I-I can't do that again. I'll have to, someday, I know, because I'm a prime, but…"

I hear a soft scoff to my right. "I'm still your commander, you know."

I giggle. "I know… I'm not undermining you, Spot, I just…" I sigh softly. "My beliefs are so contrary to what I've been taught, growing up, that I don't know what to do…" I rub my arm anxiously. "I may never know what's right…"

"You're more stubborn than Aid."

I shrug. "I'm alive, aren't I?" I glance up when I feel their surprise through the bond. "Child Abuse kills. Those who survive are prisoners of their past, for the rest of their lives. It may be that I survived because I'm too stubborn to give up." I sigh heavily as an idea comes to me. "I'll train with Hide, when we get him back, and I'll get a cannon, but I won't use it until I'm ready. If the war ends before then, then so be it."

"You'd have know how to use it, though."

I turn to the copter with a mock glare. "Hence the training with Hide." I smirk. "Thought you heard that somewhere, didn't ya?"

"Come on." Spot tugs lightly on my arm. "It's late, and we need to recharge."