So obviously I'm going off script from now on. Roman's announcement on Raw was a complete shock. And I send my prayers to him and his family. My heart aches for him. But I cannot will myself to talk about that in this story. I cannot do that. It's way too personal. It's way too real life for this story. And it would be horrific and disgusting to use his cancer as a plot point.
God. I'm crying as I write this.
This story will continue until I feel like it's finished. I've had an idea about where I want to end it anyway, and I guess this is where I go and do my job as a writer and continue to tell a story despite the sadness of real life.
I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm apologizing. But I am. I just think about Roman, Seth, and Dean hugging and their emotions and Renee and Corey's voices as they talked about it. God.
Be strong Roman fans. This is a truly hard time for this community. But let's keep strong for our Superman.
Let's move on. Let's keep going. I love you all.
October 22, 2018
Roman had the weekend off. It felt fantastic. To have a weekend off in a while. No houseshows or media. Just time with his family. Cooking good food. Getting some extra Zs. And he was able to spend good time with his daughter, which always left him at ease.
But now he was back on the road. Well the air. He was taking the flight to Providence, RI. First class, plenty of space to himself. Plenty of leg room.
As he sat down in his seat, he pressed play on his phone and let the music blare in his headphones. A large yawn ripped from his mouth. He wasn't tired. But he could always use a nap. So that's what he settled in to do.
He closed his eyes, slouched down in the seat and let the 90s r&b playlist lull him into his thoughts.
Last Monday had been another Raw from hell. Too much drama. He thought as the father of a young daughter he knew drama. He thought he was prepared for drama. But apparently there ain't no drama like Dean Ambrose drama.
He was hoping this week with Seth and Dean spending time together at the houseshows they would have worked everything out. Well, Roman hadn't heard about any obituaries for his brothers, so that had to be a good sign. ...Hopefully. Probably not
Roman was sure that this wasn't going to blow over. In fact he was very sure that Dean was going to leave the Shield.
And the more he thought about it, the more Roman thinks Dean was blaming Seth. Not him. they were okay. But definitely Seth. Dean was hostile to Seth. Dean was snapping at Seth. Dean hated Seth.
Dean must have been so lonely during his 9 month injury. He must have dug through the deepest darkest thoughts. Roman was sure Dean had thought about all of those emotions (anger, rage, resentment, revenge) from 2014. And Roman knew that Dean hadn't finished that fight with Seth. He had gotten distracted by Bray Wyatt and then all 3 had moved on until they found eachother again.
Roman understood Dean. He understood Dean's feelings. He didn't want to. Roman didn't want Dean to feel those feelings again about Seth. But he did. And that made it harder.
The phone in his lap vibrated and he groaned not wanting to be bothered. But he was also grateful at being taken away from those horrible thoughts.
Text message from Finn.
Roman smiled at the screen.
Such good timing.
Roman was starting to be very convinced that Finn had an actual Demon. His amazing timing was out of this world.
He opened the text to find a simple "Hey" he responded the same.
Roman kept his brown eyes open and trained on the phone, watching there dots flicker to signify Finn was typing.
It took a few moments but Roman's phone vibrated as the the messaged popped up.
"I missed you this weekend."
"Oh yeah?" Roman replied with a smirk.
The next message came quick. But it wasn't a text message. It was a picture. A picture that made Roman's eyes go wide and he quickly turned his phone into his lap just in case anyone was looking. Roman looked around, eyes scanning the area around him for sneaky looks and nosy stewardesses. When he was sure no one was watching, he took a deep breath and turned the phone back up to take another long look.
He licked his lips.
The picture was of Finn's hard cock laying against black gym shorts. A drop of pre-cum at the tip.
Roman could feel his own dick start to twitch in arousal. Finn was trying to kill him. He was on a plane dammit.
If Finn was right in front of him he would have growled a warning. What a tease. Finn was such a damn tease.
"Baby boy" First text.
"You can't tease me like this" Second text.
"I'm on a plane surrounded by people." Third text.
Roman had a feeling that Finn was laughing at his response.
Another buzz. "But I like teasing you. It usually means I get something very very good in return."
Then another. "That's how I got your attention many times if I'm thinking correctly."
Well. He wasn't wrong. Finn was very right. Those teasing flashes of skin are what caught Roman's eyes for weeks. Smart. Such a smart man. Devious, but smart.
Another buzz. And another twitch from Roman's dick.
A new picture. Finn's cock starting to soften, strings of cum splattered on the black shorts.
Roman covered his screen with his hand as he leaned his head back and gulped. He looked around again then went back to responding. God, he was so happy this plane had wifi so he could get his messages.
"Damn. Texting full sentences and jerking off at the same time. That's talent. I'm impressed."
"Oh wait until you find out that I didn't just jerk off."
Another lick of his lips. Roman was in trouble. He was hard, now.
"Were you playing with that sexy ass, too? Getting it ready for me?"
"It's always ready for you," Finn replied quickly.
Roman held back a moan. "It better be. I'll see you in a few hours."
He had to end it here, if it kept going he would be too hard to will the erection away.
His tone must have been final, because Finn didn't respond. Roman quickly deleted the pictures even though he wanted to keep them. He knew how easy it was to hack phones lately and he didn't need to be caught with those pictures. Actually, now that he thought about it, he should delete all the messages. They were extremely incriminating.
Roman let his head fall back against the seat again and close his eyes. A smirk pulled at his full lips.
a Finn had taken his mind off the problems of his life again. He was extremely grateful. And he would show that to Finn tonight.
Roman didn't get to see Finn until maybe an hour before the show would start. They passed eachother in the halls. They couldn't talk though, Roman was on his way with a roadie to find Seth and Dean.
He didn't expect them to be together, but he was pleasantly surprised that they were.
But the pleasant feeling went away when he saw how they were across the room from eachother. Dean looking at a wall, eyes hard, jaw clenched tight. And Seth was looking at Dean. Those big deer brown eyes filled with guilt and sadness.
When both men noticed Roman walk in, Dean looked up and Seth looked down. Completely different reactions but both were laced with emotions Roman wished he understood. He cleared his throat in a vain attempt to clear the tension from the room. He even tried a small smile. Nothing.
Nothing could take out the horrible feeling circulating in the room. Dean of anger. Seth of hurt and guilt.
Roman's words must have done nothing to help last week. Seth still felt like all of this- all of Dean's behaviour- was his fault. And the more Roman stood awkwardly between them he might just believe it.
Finally, Seth's eyes wavered up to meet Roman's. "You talk to the roadie?"
Roman glanced to the side only to see that the roadie who had walked him over had left. Probably trying to hide from the tension. Roman sighed. "No. What's the plan today?"
"Since Braun and Drew had a falling out last week, they don't need us going out there to face all of them. But they want me and Dean to go for the tag championships."
He nodded. Made sense. Trouble in the waters of team jerk-offs would be beneficial for the Shield boys. "Well then I'll be at ring side. Gotta be there when my boys win the tag team championships tonight."
A flicker of a sad smile sketches itself on Seth's face. But it's fleeting. The look of happiness in his eyes flashes in and out. The idea of more gold around his waist couldn't even bring out good emotions in Seth. It was then that Roman knew there was something here he could not fix.
Dean and Seth were beyond repair. At least from him.
Roman would not be able to take the pieces of his brother's souls and put them back together.
And it hurt Roman more than he ever expected.
He noticed that Dean had more animosity towards Seth. He noticed that when Seth hugged Dean, Dean wouldn't circle his arms. He wouldn't smile at Seth. Anything Seth said would set him off. It wasn't Dolph's words about Roman and Seth not needing Dean that had made Dean get this way. No. It was Drew's words. It was Drew who reminded Dean that Seth had betrayed Dean once before. And it had opened back up the feelings of 2014 all over again.
But instead of Seth's greed for glory pulling him away, it was Dean's need for love and approval that was tearing them apart.
Roman felt a knot in his throat but he swallowed it away. This was it. He knew it. If they lost tonight it would be the straw that broke the camel's back and his brother's would be lost forever.
Dean moved from his spot against the wall to his left. He walked towards Roman, blue eyes glossy but dark as they looked at Roman. Then Dean grabbed Roman by the back of the head, pulled him close and planted a soft kiss on Roman's hair. Dean whispered in his ear, quiet and raspy. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. My demons got the best of me. I've been holding back for way too long."
Then Dean pulled away and walked out the door behind Roman.
With Dean out of the room, Roman expected the tension to dissipate just a little, but it only intensified. Seth must have heard it all. Because his face was pained.
Seth sighed, it quivered like he was scared to speak. "We talked about it already. Well he talked and I listened. Whatever is between me and Dean has to be settled. And it'll happen one way or another."
"And you're okay with that?" His tone was disbelief.
Seth nodded. "Yeah. It's okay."
Roman took a step forward, but stopped when Seth shook his head.
Seth smiled in the most pathetic way Roman has ever seen on the man. "It's not. I'm not. But I'd rather he fight me to get back to the Dean we know then to fight someone else and get worse."
Roman stayed with Seth until the main event match. The thought of finding Finn taking a back seat to being a big brother to Seth.
Roman had a feeling that Braun was going to interrupt this match for the tag titles, especially now that Drew had kicked Braun down from behind during Braun's promo about Crown Jewel. Roman knew Braun wasn't going to just take a kick from the Scot and leave it at that. The problem was how was it going to affect the match for his shield brothers?
The matched had been going steady so far, but Roman could sense the potential doom lingering over their heads like a rain cloud.
It was looking kind of bad for Seth and Dean. Seth was getting man handled in the ring by Drew and he was looking drowsy.
Then Braun came out.
Braun charged towards the ring, staring directly at Drew, eyes prepared for murder.
It distracted Drew (and Dolph) enough for Seth to get the tag.
But it looked like Braun wasn't going to stand and wait for the match to finish, he was going to get involved. And that would make Dean and Seth lose the match! Roman was not going to let that happen.
So Roman walked over the Braun and pulled the larger man to face the him. But Braun punched him hard and Roman went down.
When Roman came back to, the Shield's music was playing. He gave a sigh of relief. He watched as Dean and Seth celebrated their win. Roman let the good feeling of relief wash over him. Thank God. They needed this win.
And then, like a horror movie playing out in front of his eyes, Dean dropped the championship strap, turned and grabbed Seth and executed the Dirty Deeds. On top of Seth's dropped championships. Dean looked so conflicted. Like he had no clue what he was doing.
Roman could hear Seth's voice, broken, saying "it's okay" over and over again.
He slowly got to his feet hoping that Dean was done, but when he looked up he saw Dean pummeling into Seth. He watched as Seth grabbed Dean's face and looked the short haired man in the eye. But Dean was far from done.
Roman couldn't move from where he watched. He was frozen in place watching Dean throw Seth into the time keeper's corner and throw the tag titles in Seth's face like the man had been at fault for everything.
Finally, Roman moved when he realized what Dean was planning to do on the exposed cement floor. He ran around the ring and stood between Dean and Seth's prone body.
Dean looked at him with wide frantic eyes. "Go away. This is me and him!"
"No!" Roman bellowed. "Stop, Dean!"
But Dean pushed Roman away, grabbed Seth and drove him into the cement floor.
Before Roman could get to him, Dean walked off, through the crowd. A tortured look on his face. He was completely out of his mind.
He knelt at Seth's side while watching Dean staring back at them. He put a hand on Seth's shoulder, feeling it shaking with built up emotions. Or was it tears? Roman couldn't see it.
Dean was gone now, and Seth was starting to stand with Roman and the ref's help. But Seth pushed Roman away.
"It's between me and him," Seth said under the din of the arena. "Stay out of it."
A proud look came over Seth's steps as he walked away up the ramp. Roman put his hands on his hips, watching. Then he ran them down his face, tired and annoyed.
But he wasn't surprised. This had not been unexpected after earlier.
The Shield was over. And maybe, just maybe, Roman was okay.
It was over. And he just had to think of himself, again. No one else. Roman was back to being a solo act. Just like when Dean was on Smackdown.
His brothers are moving on without him. And Roman was understanding. He understood. He did exactly what John had told him weeks ago to do. Be understanding. He would be there for Seth and Dean when they needed him. But they didn't need him anymore.
And like Seth had tragically cried to Dean in that ring minutes ago... it's okay.
Roman was leaving the arena when he realized Seth and Dean must have gone away in different cars and that Roman had no ride. He looked around a little hoping to find someone to ride with to the hotel. He didn't have media tomorrow but he had stuff to do Wednesday and Thursday before the houseshow loop. A bunch of media in the New York area for Crown Jewel.
He hoped Finn was around. He usually was right?
But Roman didn't see him.
He took out his phone and pressed the man's name, praying that Finn wouldn't already be too far away to come back.
"I was starting to think my photos earlier weren't enough to have you knocking on my door," the Irish accent purred.
Roman smirked, eyes falling closed at the sound of the gentle drawl. "They are more than enough. I would have bent you over and and fucked you in the middle of the ring until you were a mess if I wasn't sure we'd both be fired or worse."
There was the sound of choking in the background. It mixed with Finn's laughter. "Bayley would say hi, but she's trying to not turn red."
Roman also blushed. "Want to warn me next time I'm on speaker phone?"
"Hey just be happy it wasn't an episode of Ride Along," Finn joked.
Roman chuckled. "True... Sorry Bayley. Didn't think anyone else was listening. Anyone else listening in?"
"Nope. Just Bayley and me. What's up, babe?"
His smirked ticked up at the pet name. "Are you guys on the road already? I need a ride and I don't see anyone else. Not sure I want to ride with crew."
"We were about to head out. You at the door?"
"Yeah."
"Be right there."
Roman took the phone away from his ear when Finn hung up.
He waited a few minutes, letting the chilly Rhode Island wind blow in his face, the city life buzzing around him despite being almost took a deep breath, enjoying the chill it brought. At least he could count on Finn to be around tonight. He was hoping the Irishman would be. Roman needed to forget things. He needed a warm body pressed against him to edge the ache in his heart away. Because he understood his brother's desire to settle things alone. But it only now hit him that he was back to riding alone.
A small SUV pulled up in front of him and the passenger side window opened. He grinned at the equally large grin that met him.
"How much for the night, sweetheart?" Finn joked.
Roman's grin turned cocky and a twinkle shown in his eyes from the orange parking lot lights above them. "Can't afford me."
"Well, shit. Okay Bayley, leave him here," Finn said telling Bayley to drive off.
"Hey!"
Finn laughed, leaning his head back and giving Roman a look that the Samoan couldn't place. Those happy ocean blue eyes glinted with something.
"We're heading off to Newark," Finn said.
Oh yeah, Roman mused. They had the mixed match challenge tomorrow. He nodded.
"You can tag along," Finn offered. "Unless you have stuff to do tomorrow."
Roman shook his head, already grabbing his bags. "Nothing. I'll go to Smackdown tomorrow. It's been a while since I've seen the blue brand."
Roman didn't see Finn's smile soften and his eyes close as he brought his bag to the trunk and put them in. But Bayley saw it from where she sat in the driver's seat. And she knew what that smile meant. Her friend Finn was in love. Deep love. She knew he had liked Roman. But now she knew for a fact that it was more. The thing was, she had a feeling that Roman's feelings weren't the same.
A part of her wondered if Roman would ever love her friend in any way.
Was she a bad person for hoping he fell madly in love with Finn? Was she asking too much?
Roman hopped in the back passenger seat. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."
"No problem," Bayley said. "You'd do the same for either of us."
"Plus, what kind of fuck buddy would I be if I left you behind?" Finn smirked, eyes still closed. Bayley heard the tinge of hurt in the man's voice.
Roman had heard it too. But he said nothing about it. Because a part of him desperately hoped that Seth had been wrong last week when he said that Finn had feelings for him. Roman didn't want a relationship, but he also didn't want to string Finn around. If Finn had feelings for him, Roman would have to break things off. He would not be that guy who used someone's love for sex. That would be cruel.
Roman was not cruel.
Light chatter filled the car between Bayley and Finn. Roman would join in every so often. But after an hour or so, Finn fell asleep, arms crossed over his chest and head against the window.
Bayley heard him start to snore and turned the radio volume down. She looked at Roman through the mirror. "Hungry?" she asked in a whisper.
Roman smiled. "Always," he said, humor in his voice.
Bayley put on her signal and changed lanes so she could take the next exit somewhere in Connecticut. She found a Wendy's and pulled in drive thru. They both ordered and Bayley added in a salad for Finn just in case he was hungry when he woke up.
"I got it," Roman said, reaching for the wallet in his duffel bag behind him. "You guys were nice enough to drive me, least I can do is pay."
Bayley shook her hands at him. "No. It's okay I swear."
Roman gave her his dad look. "I got it,' he said again, his voice final this time.
He paid. They got their food. Bayley parked off to the side. They ate in silence, Finn soundly napping.
"How are you?" Bayley asked, softly, turning her body in the seat to face Roman.
"Could be worse, I guess," Roman answered, taking another bite of food.
"Well, you can always ride with me," the former Raw Women's champ offered. "I know the feeling of having to find a new riding buddy."
They were silent again, eating.
Roman threw his wrapper in his paper bag and covered his mouth with a fist when he burped. He lifted his eyes and saw Bayley staring at him, mouth in a straight line.
"It's not my place," Bayley whispered, glancing at Finn to make sure he was still sleeping. When she looked back at Roman, her serious face made a chill run down Roman's arms. Bayley was hardly seerious like this. It was odd. "But if you hurt him, I'll make sure you have no teeth."
Roman blinked. "Okay," was all he could say.
Well then. Bayley was scary when she wanted to be.
Of course, Roman had no clue how he could hurt someone who agreed to have a casual sexual relationship.
Bayley started driving again. They made it to the hotel a little more than an hour and a half later.
"Finny," Bayley mumbled, lightly shaking Finn's shoulder to wake him.
Blue eyes slowly opened as the toned body stretched. "Shit. I've been out the whole time?"
Bayley laughed. "Like a light. Got you something to eat."
He took the bag she handed him and sighed happily. "Good, I'm starving."
They grabbed their bags from the trunk and Bayley buzzed the doorbell. Most hotels they reserved rooms with knew when they were coming in late. They sometimes paid extra for it, but at least it gave them a room to sleep in.
Bayley checked them in, getting hers and Finn's key card before all three made it to the elevator.
She winked at them when they got to their doors, right next door to eachother. "Try to keep the noise down."
"That's not what you'd be saying if you had a man," Finn stuck his tongue out.
Bayley flipped him off with a laugh, walking into her room.
Finn unlocked their door and let Roman in first. The second the door closed, Roman pulled Finn in for a kiss. He sigh when they parted and walked over to the bed, taking off his sneakers. "I was thinking about those lips all day."
Finn smiled, sitting with his legs crossed on the bed, Wendy's bag in hand. He opened the container and started eating. "Yeah? I thought it'd be my ass not my lips."
He took off his shirt and pants, staying in his briefs before he laid beside Finn, picking a piece of chicken from the bowl and eating it. "Oh yeah, of course I thought about your ass too. But I like kissing you."
Finn swatted Roman's hand away when it came for another piece of chicken. He smiled when Roman laughed at the reaction.
Finn looked down at Roman, the bigger man's head on the pillow beside Finn's body. Roman's warm brown eyes watched Finn eat his salad, not caring if it was rude to stare.
Finn stood and threw the trash from his super late night dinner in the bin by the door. Before reaching the bed, he undressed.
"This might be the first time I've seen you in underwear," Roman commented, tone teasing.
"Gotta keep you guessing," Finn replied, a yawn ripping from his mouth.
He sat on the bed, pulling Roman's head in his lap. His knobby knuckled fingers untied the tight high bun and ran his fingers through the dry long dark curls. Roman hummed, closing his eyes.
"Talk to me about how you're feeling," Finn whispered the order.
Roman didn't hesitate. He told Finn how he wasn't surprised by tonight. He told him about what Dean and Seth had told him seperately before the show. And he told Finn how he understood his brother's feelings. He was okay with everything. He was sad that they were split once again, but he wasn't upset. He wasn't panicking like before. Roman was ...fine?
Finn continued to play with the hair as he listened, softly running his fingers from scalp to ends. At some point Roman was sure he had started to braid and re-braid a section of the long hair. It was soothing. It felt very good. Roman opened his eyes and reached for Finn's face, bringing it down to his. They kissed tenderly, lips pressing and sliding against the other's. Roman's tongue flicked at the seam and gladly pushed in when he was granted access.
Finn moved from how he was sitting to lay beside the bigger man. Once settled, Finn reattached his lips to Roman's.
"We need to be quiet," Roman whispered. "I don't want to wake Bayley."
Finn nodded, breathing heavy already. Roman was grinding into his hips.
It was slow and light. Teasing. But it was working.
Finn slid his hands down and grabbed Roman's clothed ass, pulling him closer. He craved the feeling of Roman against him. It dulled the ache in his chest knowing that this man he was thrusting against wasn't his, heart and soul. He couldn't have his love, but he had something else. A consolation prize.
Roman growled and turned them so that he was on his back and Finn on top of him. Finn's legs opened and straddled the perfect hips. Roman ran his hands down the toned sides, his thumbs smoothing circles at the hips before hooking the underwear. He pulled them down enough to let out Finn's forming erection.
Finn looked down at Roman, his fingers ghosting down the Samoan's shoulders and arms. He was mesmerized by how gorgeous Roman was. So beautiful. The man of his dreams.
Roman kissed him again, slow and sensual.
A gasp tore from Roman's lips and into Finn's mouth when the Irishman's hands worked Roman's hard length from the briefs. Then Roman grunted. Finn had gotten off of him and grabbed the lube and condoms from his luggage.
"You still stretched from this morning?" Roman asked licking his lips.
Finn climbed back on Roman's lap, a smirk on those pretty features. "Let's find out."
He opened the condom wrapper and slid it down Roman's girth, jerking his fist up and down to get the rubber on snug. Then he sat on Roman's lap, positioning himself. He led Roman to his hole and then slid back, letting the hard cock open and fill him.
So good. Finn's tight heat felt amazing around Roman. This morning's plane ride had left Roman so horny and Finn's perfect ass was the only way to ease the feeling. Roman bucked into the heat, enjoying the sight of Finn bounce in his lap.
The kiss swollen lips opened to let out small moans and gasps. The friction of Roman moving in him was delicious. This slow paced thrusting was driving him over so quickly. The way Roman was rolling his hips had Finn's head dropping back. Slow and long was Finn's weakness. Hard and fast was good too. But there was something out of this world about how Roman rocked into him like there was all the time in the world.
But there wasn't all night. The sun would rise soon, just like Finn's rising orgasm.
Roman's hands grabbed hold on each of Finn's ass cheeks spreading them to give him leverage. Finn rotated his hips against him now, pre-cum slipping down Finn's cock landing on Roman's naval. It was an erotic dance, this leisure fuck. Like a movie, a sexy beat in the background to guide their movements. But the only music around was the sound of their heavy breathing and supressed moans.
Finn whined. He was close and needed more. He bit his lip and looked down at Roman. Ocean blue and earth brown met and held each other in place. "Roman, please. I can't take it. This is torture."
Roman's long fingers left Finn's pert ass and grabbed the Irishman's face. He pulled Finn's lips back onto his. And as Finn and Roman kissed the bigger man pulled out and then slammed back in with a snap of his hips. Finn moaned loudly into Roman's mouth.
Finn hunched over against Roman's body, letting the friction of Roman's hot tan skin rub against his erection. He threaded his fingers through Roman's silky hair again. This faster pace was what Finn needed and it took no time for him to shoot hot cum on his and and Roman's abs. Finn's moans filled Roman's hungry mouth. His body trembling in release.
"Yeah, baby boy," Roman growled against his lips. "Just like that. Cum for me."
Roman kept pumping his hips into Finn's ass before he came hard. The slow pace had built Roman up so much. He was sure that if he had been bare in Finn, he would have filled him up. The thought was extremely sexy to Roman. But he didn't fuck anyone without a condom unless they were in a trusting relationship. But the idea of his cum leaking out of Finn's round ass might change his mind. He could think of no better sight.
He lifted Finn off of him and laid him on the bed before getting up and getting a wet towel from the bathroom. He cleaned them both up.
Before Finn knew it, both of them were under the covers and he was in Roman's arms. Where he knew in his heart he belonged.
It felt like home.
A home he would never own. But it was still home.
Finn was having a bad dream. He was sure this was a dream, at least. Okay more like a nightmare.
He saw grey pale skin. The was this horrible horrible feeling. In his head he could see it. He could see tired eyes, brown eyes- sickly pale like the skin surrounding it. Roman. His heart was clenching and he couldn't breathe.
There was a beeping in the background. Incessant. Wouldn't stop.
He had no clue where it was. Or what it was, honestly. Couldn't see anything. Only thing he could see was that pale skin and white wash walls. All he could hear the gentle breathing that was slowly getting more and more ragged as time went on.
And the beeping.
Finn was sure that this had to be a nightmare. He couldn't take it. He had no clue what was going on and it felt like he was running away. Or was he running to something? He had never felt so much saddness.
Flashes of color came to his eyes. A color he had seen many times. A color he loved. The color red,... tied to his finger like a string. It was pulled taunt. It kept pulling and pulling and pulling….
And then it broke.
It snapped.
It shattered before his anxious eyes. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. He was crying. Tears streaming down his face and dropping to the floor, landing on the pile of red dust. The beeping stopped pulsing. Instead it continued to play long and sad. It wouldn't stop.
It was haunting.
It put fear in Finn's entire body.
And suddenly he jolted awake.
H shot up, sitting and panting, the sheets pooled around his naked waist.
His mind was foggy. He couldn't think and his eyes looked everywhere. He wasn't sure what he was trying to find at first. Wasn't sure where he was at first. That's how disoriented he really was.
What kind of nightmare was that? The only thing he remembered was the long aching beep that finished him off.
Finn's eyes caught movement behind him before he felt a gentle touch. And only then did he realize that he had been in bed and that below him was another body. The body he could recognize extremely quickly.
It was Roman
Roman must have woken up when he jolted awake, because soft brown eyes looked up at him. They looked worried and maybe a bit curious.
Roman's hand ran up and down Finn's back, comforting. Those long fingers skimmed the bumps of his spine on their way up to his shoulder, where they gripped gently. The warm hand felt cold against Finn's burning skin. But the pressure of Roman holding Finn (in a way Finn could only describe as solid and strong) made him feel secure. The sight of Roman put him at ease.
Finn let out a shaking breath. It wavered the tears in his eyes.
He must have been crying because from the dream. Cool air hit the tear tracks on his face.
Roman moved the hand from his shoulder, leaving a cold vacant feel. The fingers brushed his cheek, catching the tear that just spilled from his full blue ocean water eyes.
He made soft shushing sounds.
Finn's body was shaking, he realized when Roman pulled him back down into his open arms.
Roman held him tight. Finn hid his face in Roman's shoulder so the bigger man couldn't see the shame that colored his emotional face.
Finn wasn't a crier. He wasn't the type of man to be emotional. He had a great ability to never show emotions he didn't want to. Finn had 4 settings: Happy, Demon, Serious, Erotic. No room for blubbering baby.
Roman's hands made circles against his back. Both hands moving so gentle and soothing, but they held him in place. In Roman's strong arms.
"Just a bad dream, baby boy," Roman whispered. He kissed Finn's hair, holding his lips there for a few seconds before pulling them away and replacing it with his cheek. They stayed that way for long moments, Finn's head pressed into Roman's cheek. The Samoan kept whispering soft words to comfort Finn. "It's okay" and "I'm here."
Finn wondered if Roman was used to comforting people who had woken from nightmares. He was amazing at it.
Finally, Finn was calm. No more tears fell from his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Finn muttered, feeling that embarrassment in his gut. He started to pull away, figuring out that Roman was probably uncomfortable holding him like that.
But Roman didn't let him move, locking his arms tight to keep Finn against his naked body. "Stay," Roman whispered. It was so quiet Finn thought he had imagined it. "Are you okay?" Roman then said louder for Finn to hear.
"A little squished," Finn tried to joke. It failed.
Roman pulled him closer. If that was even possible. Finn and Roman had already been pressed against eachother like they were trying to become one person. Finn thought it was impossible to be any closer. In fact, Finn thought Roman fucking him had been the closest Finn would ever come to Roman, but here he was, engulfed in this warm and caring embrace.
Finn could feel Roman smirk. He could feel the handsome face pull as he talked. "You scared me, baby boy. You were crying in your sleep and then you gasped like you couldn't breathe and sat up."
Finn wished he could see Roman's face as he spoke. Finn wished he could see those brown eyes full of life staring back at him.
"What were you dreaming about?" Roman's tone was curious but still stayed soft. No pressure in it. Like Finn didn't have to answer if he didn't want to.
Finn tucked his head against Roman's neck even more and inhaled that clean musk smell. "I don't remember."
But that was a lie. Because now that he was in those arms, protected, he knew what the nightmare was about.
Finn had lost Roman.
Finn had a dream that Roman was gone. That's why the red string broke. That's why Finn had cried. Because he didn't have Roman and it had broken his heart. It had broken Finn's soul.
Roman hummed. It vibrated through Roman's chest against Finn's. "Well, whatever it was, it was just a dream."
Finn nodded. "I'm okay. Sorry for waking you," he apologized again. "Let's just go back to sleep."
"Yeah."
One of Roman's hands lifted from Finn's back where they had been running and rubbing softly, and he ran it against the short buzzed hair at the back of Finn's head. It stayed there until Finn's breathing evened out.
And it continued to stay there as Finn slept.
Roman was awake though. He couldn't sleep for hours after that.
His arms were tired and aching from holding onto Finn so tightly. But he didn't move them. It felt wrong to. He felt deeply that letting go of Finn was the worst thing he could do.
Honestly, Roman was shaken.
He had seen his daughter have nightmares before, but never a grown man.
Never a grown man who normally slept so well beside him after they spent hours in eachothers arms thrusting and kissing and panting.
Before bed Finn had been fine. No sign of being upset.
But then Roman had woken up. It must have been Finn's tossing and turning. Must have been Finn's mumbling.
He was going to wake him, but then he saw tears leak from Finn's eyes and Roman felt panic in his bones. He thought Finn was hurt. And before Roman could call out and wake the man up, Finn sat up.
Roman saw those eyes pop open and look around frantically. It was almost unconscious that Roman had started rubbing Finn's back, trying to calm him down.
And when Finn's eyes looked back at him, Roman's heart pounded into his chest.
They were tragically beautiful. Ocean blue waves of tears. Stormy. Chaotic. Sad.
Roman knew he shouldn't find the sight of Finn Balor crying beautiful. But he did. He found the tear streaked cheeks so enticing. He wanted to kiss the tears from that upset face. He wanted to hold Finn.
So he did that. And he still was. Holding Finn.
Roman kissed Finn's hair.
Finn said he didn't remember what his dream had been about. And Roman didn't doubt it. Many dreams flew from memory. Many people didn't even remember they had dreams.
But Roman was sure he knew what the dream was about.
Because Finn had mumbled something specific while the tears ran from his closed eyes.
He had said his name. He had said Roman.
Roman squeezed his eyes tight, unsure what to feel. He was starting to suspect Seth had been right last week. Maybe Finn was in love with him. But until Roman was sure he had no idea what to do. He had no idea how to feel.
He only knew that tonight he wanted to hold Finn very close. The sun was up already, but they could sleep for a little while longer, Finn's alarm was set anyway. So Roman let himself sleep again.
"I'm right here, Baby boy."
"Time to wake up, baby boy," Roman's voice mumbled. "You have to go to work."
Finn stirred, moaning at the good feeling running through his body. He had no clue why he felt so good but he had an idea it was Roman.
He opened his sleep hazy blue eyes and found the covers thrown off the bed and Roman's face buried in his ass. Finn groaned at the sight, his legs pushed open and hanging over Roman's arms. Roman holding his bottom half up in the air as he knelt at the foot of the bed. How the hell had he slept through this. Good sweet God. What a wake up.
"I don't remember asking for a wake up call," Finn moaned.
Roman looked at him from over his hard toned body. "It's a hotel courtesy."
Finn couldn't respond with another snipping comment when Roman's thick hot tongue prodded into him. How long had he been eating him out? Finn was rock hard. Pre-cum crystal clear and dripping.
Roman continued to tongue fuck Finn's hungry hole. He loved this taste. He had woken up and found Finn tightly in his arms and he just wanted to taste him. He wanted to make Finn feel good after last night's nightmare.
Finn's moans became desperate and then his body jerked and quivered against Roman's arms. Roman stopped and watched as Finn came undone, a moaning mess.
"You probably just woke up Bayley," Roman laughed.
Finn covered his face with his hands. "Your fault and I will tell her that."
Roman put Finn's body down on the bed and crawled up to kiss the smaller man. "I'll happily take the fault for making you moan like that, baby boy."
He could taste himself in Roman and it was hot.
"Want me to return the favor?"
Roman smiled. "Nah. I just wanted to wake you up."
"Is that how you wake everyone?" Finn asked, only half-joking. He was still feeling euphoric.
Roman just laughed and shook his head.
The Samoan body lifted off the bed and walked into the bathroom to get ready. "Come on, get up. You need to be at the arena soon and I am sure you're hungry."
Finn watched Roman disappear into the bathroom with a glazed smile on his face. He was sated. The nightmare from last night forgotten and the love for Roman making him sigh. That man was so perfect. The only fault Roman had, in Finn's opinion, was not loving Finn back. Instead Roman loved John Cena and it sucked.
All Finn could offer Roman was himself. His body. Not his heart. Only his body. And poor stupid Finn was gladly suffering for every touch and kiss.
It was all Finn could give Roman. So he would give Roman his body. Over and over again until Roman got sick of him and moved on. Because Finn couldn't bare to lose Roman on his own. Roman would have to leave him.
Roman came out of the bathroom, dressed. His eyes were bothering him so he didn't put his contacts in and was wearing his glasses. Instead of finding Finn ready to go, Finn still in bed, naked, and staring at him. It didn't look like Finn was ready to go to get breakfast with the erection he was sporting.
"Use me," Finn said. His voice was soft, like he was scared to ask. This was a Finn Roman had rarely seen. Finn was confident and knew what he wanted. This Finn was like the crying man Roman held in his arms last night. This Finn was vulnerable. This Finn needed someone to hold him. And Roman wanted to hold him.
Just like last night, Roman wanted to hold onto Finn and not let go.
Finn's blue eyes looked away. "I'm sorry. I am never like this. I'm never this forward. And I don't know why I'm like this with you. I keep going against my better judgement."
Roman approached the bed. He placed himself beside the vulnerable man and kissed him deeply. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, anyway.
He just knew he might be in trouble. He didn't love Finn. He loved John. But he was sure he was obsessed with the Irishman. This side of Finn was making Roman want to protect him from any harm. This sad Finn with the broken eyes.
Roman turned Finn on his side so they were spooning. He wrapped his arms around Finn and took the length in his hand, pumping his fist.
Finn moaned. Roman's tattooed arm was tightly around his chest and it brought ease to Finn's turmoil mind. He had no idea what he was doing. Finn was self-destructing. He knew he was. Roman was all he ever wanted. All he needed. And he couldn't have him in the way he wanted.
Roman wasn't his, but he was Roman's through and through.
He had tried to hold it back before. But it was getting so hard. It was impossible to lay with this man and not confess his feelings.
He loved Roman.
Loved him so much it was ridiculous.
From day one. Like some damn high school soap opera. He liked Roman Reigns. And slowly that crush transformed into love when he got to know Roman as a person. Roman was kind and sweet. He worked hard and was a leader in the locker room. Roman was funny and loved to laugh. Roman's voice could switch between soft and caring to low and authoritative. And Finn wanted to know everything Roman could show him. Finn wanted to know Roman because he loved him.
And Roman loved another man.
The arousal built in him despite the thoughts he was having. And he came in Roman's pumping fist, feeling Roman whisper encouragement and "baby boy" in his ear.
Finn's mouth opened and a silent moan left his trembling lips. His body twitched and then relaxed, mind still buzzing with sad thoughts.
Roman held him there even after he had let Finn's cock go. He just held him.
"You know," Roman rumbled. "You tell me to talk to you, but you never tell me anything. This is a two-way street, baby boy. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you."
Finn hid the heartbreak from his face. How could he talk to Roman about his love for Roman without driving the man away? "I know."
The nightmare from last night had really fucked with Finn's mood.
Long minutes ticked by until Finn's phone chimed with a text from Bayley. And then he separated from Roman and plastered a grin on his face. "Thank you. I just needed a little attention. I'm sorry for being so needy."
Roman watched as Finn got up and grabbed his shower kit from the suitcase. His brown eyes could see Finn's lie written all over that lovely face. But Roman didn't know how to comfort Finn.
He didn't know what Finn was feeling or thinking.
At least, Roman thought he didn't.
"Go meet Bayley, I'll be down in a few," Finn told him.
Roman watched the bathroom door close, blocking Roman from Finn.
His phone buzzed and he took it out of his pocket to see who it could be.
Hey from John Cena.
Sorry for all the angst. So I know Bayley has someone in her life, but to be kayfabe compliant, she will be single here.Love Natsuki Lee