A/N: Sorry for the delay. I've been having some major problems lately.

Ah, HUGE thanks again to Aubrey for her beta-work. This chap needed it.

Sorry again! Hopefully this makes up for the lateness. :)

EDIT: Since there seems to be some confusion: No, this is far from the last chapter!

---

'The past is a ghost that haunts the present.'

His father's words echoed in Don's head as he waited in those lonely sewer corridors for a brother that would not return. Donnie knelt there, surrounded by the invisible casings of those ill-considered words he shot at Raph. Haunted. He was still haunted.

Raph had left him here in these dim tunnels hours ago. And-- the taste of ashen regret smoldering in his mouth-- Donnie still kept vigil. He knew it was to no avail-- Raph wouldn't be coming back. Donatello also knew he should be heading back to the Lair. There were things to do-- experiments to check, dinner to eat, and he promised Leo he'd watch a movie with him tonight.

But he couldn't bring himself to move, not just yet.

If he was out here and Raph gone at the same time-- they might think Raph was with him. His family would think they were together and all was well. That the dream was still alive. But if he returned without his brother, if he saw that look of understanding and despair in their eyes--

Don just didn't want them to understand the truth of the matter. It wasn't time for them to wake up yet.

Yet again he had chased his sibling off, breaking half a dozen unspoken rules. Yet again he was the last to see Raphael-- the back of his shell shrinking and obscured in darkness as it's owner walked away.

---

Donatello once loved sitting by himself in these tunnels, when he was nine. It was the only place he could get some peace. He smiled down at his manuals and the bits of machinery scattered around his crossed legs. With time-- and hopefully this afternoon or the next-- all of this would become his very own remote-controlled car. He had seen one advertised on the back of one of his youngest brother's well-worn comic books and since then devoted almost every free waking moment he had to creating one.

But he couldn't do it back home—his brothers were way too noisy and prone to knocking things over or scattering delicate parts. Separately Leo and Raph were quiet enough, each in their own way-- but together? Somehow they always became more loud then the sum of their parts. It had to break some laws of physics... Donnie kept meaning to research and test it one of these days.

And Mikey?

Well there was never anything even remotely -like- a chance to get real work done when he was around. His youngest brother was like a hurricane crossbred with an earthquake-- a force of nature.

Not that Don minded. Much. Usually.

He just wanted to finish this project.

"Hey Donnie."

Startled out of his musings by the sudden interruption, Donnie looked up. His brother Raph stood before him, looking down at the parts and his books with some interest.

"Sensei says it's dinner time, so I gotta come get ya," explained Raph as he knelt down. "What's this stuff?"

"A car."

Raph gave him a look. "I seen cars. They're bigger than that. Like that yellow Camero I saw yesterday. There were five humans inside it."

Laughing, Don gestured for him to sit down as well. "Did you go topside again?" His brother stuck his tongue out at him. "...Well, -I- don't care. Just don't let Master or Leo catch you, it'll get noisy again. Anyways." Donnie gestured to the parts, noting with interest the fact that Raph's eyes actually followed his hand. He had his brother's attention. "It's a toy car. Like those matchbook ones you collect. Only this will -move-."

"Move? Really?!" Rapt, his younger brother leaned forward-- eyes sparkling in the smoky light that filtered in through grates from the world above. "You can do that?"

Still half-expecting the other turtle to leave, Don pushed the manual forward. "I found this. It shows what's inside a car... in this case, a Honda Civic. Not that it matters anyways." He pointed to the fuel tank. "Cars use gas as their power source, but I'm going to use a battery. Plus my parts are different. So I gotta adapt-- make changes to the design. It's not just shrinking things down, it's-- are you really interested in this?"

Raph nodded rapidly, and for a moment, Don was almost reminded of Mikey. "This is -cool-. Really freakin' cool. Norm'lly you're doin' boring stuff, but this is different." He pointed to the diagram. "What's this part here?"

Unbidden, a huge smile spread itself across Don's face. "Hose. And over here is the belt..." One of his brothers-- and -Raph- of all turtles-- was actually paying attention to what he was saying.

It was a good feeling.

"I'm thinking of trying to rig up some turbo boost as well. So it's faster."

Raph grinned and pumped his fist in the air. "Faster! You should. And make it black or red or something-- a kick-butt color."

Don laughed again. "You -would- say that." He picked up the manual and handed it to his brother. "Here. If you want to take a closer look."

The other turtle actually took it, and then spent several minutes thumbing through it, a curious look on his face. Don himself returned to prepping some of the parts while trying to think of where to get some black paint. Every so often Raph would ask him a quick question, nodding and considering when Donnie would answer.

"You really do like cars, don't you?"

Raph scowled, but Don could see the traces of a flush on his cheeks, even in the dim light. "They're -okay-. Not bad. That's all!" He was still holding the manual. Tightly.

Nodding, Donnie decided not to press the point. This peace was nice.

"...So do they make these things for motorcycles?"

And that was the point when their father finally found them and took them both away for their overdue dinner and lecture.

---

"Hey, Donnie."

Donatello half-jumped as his gaze snapped to where that familiar voice had came from. There-- impossibly-- Raph stood in the shadows, a look of dark satisfaction on his tired face and his arms wrapped in crimson ribbons of blood. Gun-shot wounds, it looked like.

Shocked, he leapt up and rushed to his brother's side.

"I told you so." And with that, Raph slumped forward-- still conscious, fortunately. Donnie easily caught him, his mind racing. Tools-- he needed his-- where did he leave that medical kit of his? Those wounds did not look clean, so he would have to remove the bullets. Then disinfect the wounds-- did he still have that needle and thread?

Was Raph really here, bleeding in his arms?

Carefully, Don removed his and Raph's masks. The important thing now would be to staunch the flow of blood with either strong pressure or a tourniquet. Then he'd get Raph home and in a sterile environment.

Suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist. Raph's. Don had the sudden irrational thought that those ribbons were about to entangle him as well. Trap him, and he wasn't certain what he should--

"I did it." Raph's voice was low, hoarse. "It's over now. Free." Haltingly he continued, while Donnie stood there numbly, the cloth in his hands forgotten. "Guy didn't ev'n react when he saw me. Same as th' first time. Cool as a cucumber 'r somethin'." He laughed, and it was a broken sound. "Guess someone in his... line a' work sees all kinds a shit. Worse than a giant freak turtle." Raph's eyes were haunted. "Those kids..."

Raph had probably killed that man. Don knew that-- it was the only thing that made sense, it fit with Raphael's previous actions and apparent motivations. Perhaps Raph had done it for closure of some weird sort, but perhaps it was rebellion too. A belated retort to those regretful words Donnie had said on a day that should be forgotten, and never would.

Maybe Raph's actions this night-- this rebellion-- was Raph's closure. His brother had always defined his boundaries by pushing up against everyone else's.

Or maybe he didn't understand his brother at all Still, after a wealth of trails that should have lit a lantern into his sibling's spirit, but never did, else he was blind.

The fingers around his wrist dug in, and Raph was now looking up at him blearily, an expression Don couldn't quite place, painted on his features, a portrait of familiar chromes. "Monster. I'm... can someone like... me… even go back?" Raph's glossy gaze locked onto Don's shocked one. "You know. You're... th' only one tha' didn' act like it was all hunky-dory. So you..." He trailed off--

--And then promptly began clinging to Don-- despite those wounds and rivulets of blood—as though onto a life preserver. "Please… Can I go home? I... I can't go back there. Not t' that park again." His grip tightened further, and Don noticed through the sudden haze of numbness, that Raphael's eyes had grown moist, and droplets dripped down from his jaw. He hadn't seen Raph cry in years-- not since being at the farm a lifetime ago. "…Alone."

Donatello's mind descended into a blur of frozen fire in that moment, trapped in an unending experience, a torrential river of burning emotions. He was shaking; he could feel himself trembling, staring at his brother as though he had never seen him before. Maybe he hadn't-- not since they were children.

Donnie opened his mouth, meaning to speak. To say: "OF COURSE you can come back, let's go!" Yet somehow he couldn't get the words out his mouth… nothing but a pitiful croaking noise. Raph looked at him, unsure, doubt invading his eyes. Don had to let him know it was okay, even if he couldn't get the words out.

In the end he simply wrapped an arm behind Raph's neck, and pulled him close. They sat there for several short minutes, both trying not to shake, clinging to each other amongst the dirty bricks, overgrown rats, and scummy water. Clinging for dear life in silence.

Don wasn't Leo. There were things in this wide and sometimes twisted world he had no chance of forgiving or understanding. He wasn't Mikey either, full of idealistic and sometimes irrational hopes for the future.

But he was Raphael's brother, nonetheless.

And it's a funny thing... not logical and rational at all. If he examined this feeling closer, Don was certain he'd find a several dozen holes he could poke through it. But he did know this-- he wanted something. Something lost between the time two young boys sat in these tunnels and talked about cars and this now, when Raphael bled in his arms, a killer, broken, lost, and derived of his innocence completely and violently.

He wanted to wake up tomorrow and have Raph there. And the day after that, and the day after that one too. Maybe it wouldn't last for forever, but he wanted it for as long as it could possibly go on. Don wanted to find out more about this changed person here with him-- to see if somewhere in there remained the desire to talk about fast-moving vehicles and plumbing. And if Raph had moved past such things, then Donnie wanted to know where he was now and meet him there.

Maybe understanding wasn't related to love, or love to understanding. It didn't need to be.

He just wanted his brother here, with him.

"We should go." He said softly, regretfully, and tugged at Raph's arm, gesturing for him to stand up. "Those aren't minor wounds, and there's the chance of toxic shock... and prolonged blood loss is no laughing matter either." He shouldn't have waited this long, no matter how .

"Toxic Shock, huh?" answered Raph muggily, after a long pause. "Think I had that once. Nasty." He let Don help him to his feet, leaning against the older turtle heavily.

Don smiled at him. "Let's go home."

And, exorcised at last, he and his brother made their way back to the Lair slowly.