Double D woke to the sound of his Mother's voice calling him. He could feel that the fever had spiked. He felt sick, nausea and pain all at once and he groaned.

"Come on sweetheart, You need to wake up now, this can't wait. " He opened his eyes sleepily.

"W-what's going on Mother I-"

"You need to be taken to the operating room baby, You're temperature went up and that can be a sign of something very serious, remember when I mentioned appendicitis earlier, We can't take that chance to wait. We've got to take it out, I don't want you to worry, you're in good hands Eddward. I'm going to be here when you're done and everything will be fine"

In truth Double D felt strangely calm, he knew he should be concerned but wasn't. He knew the operation was very common and often worked without problems. He wasn't a doctor but being related to one gave him access to all sorts of medical books and information. He remembered reading about a complication from a ruptured appendix that could cause infection or worse. Still as his mind wandered through the thought, he felt no fear, a strange feeling swept over him though he wasn't sure how to describe it but he took in a deep breath and a strong burst of pain hit him and he heard his mother's voice fade out and fell into silence.

As the medical team scrambled to get him in to the operating room Anna panicked she knew what was happening and tried to follow her coworkers as they wheeled her son down the hall until Sarah stopped her. "I'm so sorry Anna, You can't go in there, Edward's going to be looked after I promise, Trust me he's with Vince. I made sure he had the best surgeon we have. Why don't you and I come over and sit down for a while. Would you like to have some coffee, I can run over and get some, water maybe?"

Sarah managed to sit Anna in a chair and went to get the drink. Anna sat in a trance the dream came back to her, was it really a warning for things yet to come but were certain to become reality? He had been angry in her dream she remembered and not long ago was angry at her for alerting the staff to his new symptom. Would she be led to the table on which her little boy would lie underneath a sheet? Her son who had only just begun life, still a child Her Eddward, Her precious boy. She allowed herself to release a few silent tears. Sarah sat down next to her holding a cup of coffee in one hand and placing the other hand on Anna's shoulder to comfort her. This brought Anna into awareness of her surroundings once more.

"Thank you Sarah, I appreciate this" Anna said fighting back the rest of the tears that threatened to fall at any moment. "Really it's no trouble at all, Just know that I'm here if you need anything and you've got the whole staff to help you. besides it's quite routine now a days." Sarah looked up at the clock

"Anna, I get off in five minutes, would you like me to stay with you for a while?" Anna turned to her.

"Sarah I couldn't ask that of you, you've got your own things to do and I just couldn't hold you back. Thank you for offering though."

"Really, You wouldn't be, I had nothing planned," Sarah stood up "If you change your mind Anna I'll stop by this way on my way through." Anna nodded she wouldn't mind the company, someone to talk to. Sarah smiled sadly and walked away. Anna leaned back in the chair as far as she could taking in several breaths in an effort to calm herself. These operations took hours, Hours of not knowing what was happening or going to happen . This, she thought was her punishment for what she had done to him all of his life. All those times she left him with her sister when he was little. Missing his first words, first steps nearly every joy a parent had to look forward to, she missed.

She hadn't done it because she didn't want him or didn't love him. On the contrary, that was the reason she took all of this work, to give her child a good life. Had she instead been deemed unworthy by some force that was now attempting to punish her as a result of years of not having been a mother to him?

"Punish me, not him" she Whispered to the quiet room. "He doesn't deserve this, he's only a child. Please, let me take his place somehow." Anna knew that Eddward still weak from the first illness and then a little further by the Pneumonia because of those illnesses had a greater chance of complication and also knew by his reaction that there was little time before his appendix ruptured. It was well on its way to doing so if it hadn't already to cause him to lose consciousness. The possibility of losing Eddward was all too real. There was no worse feeling.

"Anna," Sarah had returned sitting down in the chair next to hers.

"Anna, I'm on my way out, are you sure you'll be okay here?: Anna was silent for a moment thinking of the right thing to do.

"Would you mind staying here Sarah, I can't go through this alone, I just can't" She sobbed as Sarah pulled her into a hug.

"Of course I don't mind, It's going to be alright you'll see." Anna broke into sobs and all Sarah could do was to hold her and hope that she was right.

An hour went by without a word and the two women sat talking quietly. "I just can't get it out of my head. " Anna explained the whole dream and thoughts to Sarah through gasps and sobs.

"You know it was just a dream Anna, dreams aren't real. I'm sure it seemed like it was though. Eddward's here it's okay. You are a good mom Anna, you provided for him and you love him, you've been here with him all this time. You remember what we tell our patient's family, Stay strong for them. Don't listen to these types of thoughts. It only worsens Anxiety for them and affects their loved one."

Anna knew she was right, about everything except the good mom part. Another terrible memory flooded her mind. One that hit her hard then and more so now. The few times she had to do it tore at her heart.

Anna walked slowly through the halls an emergency case had arrived. She had given reports to families before but this one had affected her most. The first of its kind for her. Anna's heart shattered not just at the thought of having to tell the family but what she had seen. As she approached the small room she had to stop to compose herself, how could she say it?

"Mr. and Mrs. Sanders," the young couple stood up and approached her both were heartbroken. This stirred up the feelings once more "Please have a seat, I-" -Come on Anna get a hold of yourself-"I'm terribly sorry, We've done everything possible but your daughter's injuries were too severe. There was nothing we could do." Anna's heart shattered to have to be the one to deliver this bad news and as the couple broke down and she left to give them their privacy, She saw true torture that day. Heard true anguish in their cries and had difficulty getting through the shock and pain of her own emotions. AS a mother herself Anna felt the pain along with them and prayed she would never have to hear those terrible words, To feel the unbearable pain.

Anna never forgo that tragic day she could now see herself in the same situation. She was in the same type of room after all. "I can't lose him Sarah, I can't take that, he's a little boy , he shouldn't be going through this if there was a way, I would take his place in a heartbeat" Anna said.

"I know you would, Eddward knows too. But what he needs now is his Mother's love. You're sending him plenty of that. Don't underestimate the power and Strength of the love of a mother for her children. Eddward knows you love him"

"What if he doesn't, he says he does but I haven't given him much to support thew feeling. If he's saying it to get me through it. He's like that you know, putting others first."

"He does Anna trust me you've got a smart boy.'

"what if he's not strong enough for this he's not at his full strength his body could-"

"Stop. When parents especially ones who are in out line of work start going through these thoughts it hurts both of you and you can't do that to him. He needs you. I think he's stronger than what you're thinking he is.-"

"if he's not-"

"If he's not he'll take what he needs from you. You've got to be able to give him that. Try very hard to realize that. Sarah tried to encourage her. Having no children Sarah couldn't begin to imagine what Anna was feeling.

The door to the room opened and Vince walked in a troubled expression covered his face.

Anna started to stand but Vince placed a hand on her shoulder. He knelt down on the floor in front of her. Sarah grabbed her hand squeezing it gently as her heart sank.

"Please Anna sit down, We-We need to talk.