Kisame's Corner
The Sea of Tobi has gotten to the point where Kisame and Deidara were yelling at them for no good reason. But (once again) a reason did exist.
"Come on guys, IT'S NEW YEARS!! We've been here for exactly one month!" Kisame yelled at them. "One month? ANNIVERSARY!!" One of the Tobis yelled in excitement. Immediately it caught on and all the Tobis started rocking the boat. "…I'm going to be sick…" Deidara leaned over the edge of the boat and barfed. So did his hands. And his chest… yeah. And Kisame felt sick and barfed a little as well.
When he was done…
"Hey Deidara, I got an idea." Kisame went to the tip of the boat. "HEY!! TOBI CLONES!!" None of the Tobis paid attention. "UP HERE!!!" Immediately they stopped whatever they were doing and stared at Kisame. It was so quiet you could hear a coke can drop to the floor in the distance.
"Uh… You guys are doing a very bad thing!" Kisame yelled to them. "What are we doing that's so bad?" One of the (smarter?) Tobis asked. "Well, existing, for starters." Kisame said. "How is existing bad!?" Another (smart?) Tobi asked. "Hey if existing is bad, then we should go around and kill everybody so that they're not being bad!" another Tobi shouted. They all cheered. Aren't they cute?
Kisame yelled to stop them. "NO, IT'S NOT THEIR EXISTANCE, It's your existence… specifically!" He said. "Why!?" The first Tobi asked. "Well you trapped everyone In their houses. And everyone who's not in their houses are drowning or dead!" Kisame explained. "How do we fix the problem?" Another Tobi asked.
"KILL YOURSELVES is an option." Kisame said. "I know! We'll teleport us to mars!" A Tobi said. The Tobis around all cheered. "You can do that?" Kisame asked. "If you believe, anything is possible!" The Tobi said. "Okay, then I believe you should do that as soon as humanly possible! In fact, humanly possible is right now. DO IT!" In an instant, all the Tobis exploded.
"...Now that that problem's fixed, there's another one." Kisame said. "WHERE'S THE GROUND UNDER THE BOAT!?" He yelled. They immediately crashed to the ground.
Kisame woke up in a couch at the Kisame's Corner studio. "Oh god… my head…" he groaned. "Oh, finally, he's up! Roll the cameras!" Pein yelled. "What!?" A bright light flashed at him.
He looked around and saw everyone at their stations. "What happened?" he asked. "We dragged you guys from the streets to avoid unwanted attention. Now say words that'll make the ratings go up!" Pein yelled.
"Uh… hi everybody!" Kisame said, fake enthusiasm obvious. "CUT!! Okay, we're gonna try that again, only we're gonna stop sucking." Pein said, walking behind the camera. "Action!"
Before he could say anything, Kisame let out a huge, loud, put-fat-people-who-happen-to-be-burping-champions-to-shame burp. Infuriated, Pein stomped up to Kisame and started randomly punching him. "GAH!! YOU CALL THAT GOOD RATINGS!? MY BALLS!!" He head-butted Kisame, knocking him out cold. "I'M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE BA-"
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
OR PEIN WILL BEAT YOU UP
-:-
Tobi's Talkshow
Tobi walked on stage. "Hello. I am Tobi, and welcome to Tobi's Talkshow. We will be temporarily replacing Kisame's Corner for this chapter. The first order of business is to thank the Nobody-Somebody for being our 100th reviewer. There is no special prize, but we'd like to thank you for bothering to review and ask questions." Tobi said.
"Now, we shall answer questions." He announced.
Pein- did some mental function go wrong when you kept the cloning machine? BYE-BYEZ! HAPPZY THANKSGIVING!
Itachi- how's sas-gay's exorcism thing going? btw, are the fangirls at bay or somethin' cuz they haven't been around. Hm...
Kisame- what happened to you NOT eating fish, because salmon and sushi are fish.
Hidan- why did you decide to follow Jashin in the first place. Besides killing people.
Deidara- please ignore my sister's comment's (GaaraxxxheartxxxAi). I could care less who you guys are dating, unless its each other. -shivers-
Konan- I'm giving you 900,0,0,0,0 pounds. Why? Because I don't trust Pein with it, he'll just use it for peircings, Kisame was my first option, but some very strange things popped into my head, and Itachi would use it as something to his own advantage, and so would Hidan, and Kakuzu, and Deidara, and Madara, and Tobi, and Shniz. And Konan, you better be responsible with it, or you die. It's to be used for repairs for the lair, some basic needs, and your paychecks. And why pounds? Because the American dollar is sinking faster than a rock. What a shame.
Kakuzu- what is your get rich quick scheme?
Tobi/Madara- would you happen to read Fruits Basket. -Pictures something hilarious- Haha...
Shniz- maybe you should find a new place of work.
Zetsu- -hugs Zetsu- I always wanted to hug a plant guy with multiple personality disorder!
From: FearTheFan (on a note, these questions were written around Thanksgiving time)
PEIN: F-censor-K OFF!!
ITACHI: he cancelled that gig a long time ago. Kinda hard to keep a business when there's only one ghost haunting people.
KISAME: Guurrgh… my face… OH IS THAT SUSHI!? –runs to eat at the hospital cafeteria-
HIDAN: It was a family tradition. No, I don't know where it came from.
DEIDARA: You and me both.
KONAN: Uh… thanks.
KAKUZU: Kill people and take their wallets.
TOBI: I do. Madara, however, keeps ripping the pages out just in spite of me. IT'S FUN. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME IT'S REALLY GREAT.
SHNIZ: I would… but… you know, what's the point.
TOBI: Aw come on! What happened to the Shniz that always sucked up to people?
SHNIZ: he DIED. Died along with my dreams. –sobs to self-
ZETSU: -resists urge to bite-
lol, i CANT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY SANG IT!!
Tobi: Get rid of the clones, and you get a cookie cake. -wave's cookie cake in face- Anyways, thanks for singing the sailor song. You each get two dollars! And a big pie!
Itachi: Do you like sushi? Does it piss off Kisame?
Kisame: You have cool hair! And if this is YOUR corner, why does Itachi get more questions?
Konan: Your hair is awesome! How do you get it so nice:D
Deidara: Do you enjoy writing poetry as well as clay sculptures?
Zetsu: I have a rose bush that wants to meet you too.
Hidan: What was your favorite part of Brave heart?
Kakuzu: Take a dollar. -hands dollar-
Pein: What are your peircings made of...?
Shniz: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE??! -throws tomato in face-
Madara: Do you like pie?
Sasori: It must suck being made outta wood...
From: GaaraxxxheartxxxAi
TOBI: Already done! –scarfs down cake in one bite-
ITACHI: No. Actually, Kisame gave up on the whole 'not eating fish' thing. Now he just doesn't eat sharks.
KISAME: I honestly have no idea –continues to eat Sushi in hospital bed-
KONAN: I have my ways.
DEIDARA: Poetry? HA! I spit on poetry! –spits and hits Konan-
KONAN: -punches Deidara-
ZETSU: -is currently eating someone- Uh… this is awkward…
HIDAN: ALBA GUBRA!!
KAKUZU: -takes wallet-
PEIN: Wood. Very, very painful wood.
SHNIZ: I'm like Kenny (from South Park), I never truly die. (mutters: What's the point of wiping off this tomato crap?)
MADARA: Depends. What kind of pie?
SASORI: Yeah. 'Specially if you're having sex. Totally sucks.
Okay, this question is for everyone: P.S.- You're all invited to my friends house for a game of cards, she just doesn't know it yet.
Who's your favorite X-Men mutant?
From: Slightly Broken
TOBI: No one here really reads X-Men except for Konan. (who uses Marvel comics to escape her dim reality) Her words not mine.
KONAN: I don't have a favorite.
lol. good chappie.
Itachi: I still lub you!
From: Shadow The Inu Youkai
ITACHI: If I still had an ounce of humanity left, that would be a very touching statement.
Yay! Akatsuki Sailors!
To everyone: My name's.. actually our names is Adell, Abi and Gale. Lol! We're the same person in one body! Gale here is evil... Abi here is like Tobi and Im Adell teh neutral one... Konan: Let's trade lives now! TT we're studying Noli Me Tangere in Filipino Language! I suck at Filipino. Deidara: Do NOT break Hinata's heart or else! Kabuto: I dunno why I put this here... but... HOW DARE YOU GROPE HINATA! -shouts loud enough for Deidara to heal- (he groped her in the part where he was "healing" her in the Chunin exams) Itachi: ...Staring contest? Pein: WTF?!?! -Gale's slaps him Kisame: BLUE! -Abi glomps him- Hidan: ...You wanna go to a violence convention? Adell
From: dark-emo-gal
ALL: That's nice.
KONAN: I'm not exactly an expert either. Let's not –somewhat smiling face??-
DEIDARA: You're the –counts- 11th person to tell me that. And don't worry, I won't or the rabid fangirls will come to have my soul. I've heard it a thousand times.
-reads next question-
Really now? Time to go. –readies shotgun- Shniz! Carry my stuff!
SHNIZ: which bag? There's like 10 of them.
DEIDARA: PICK ONE!!
TOBI: But… I'm the one who carries your stuff!
DEIDARA: Times change, Tobi. Times change.
ITACHI: Are you sure you want to do that?
PEIN: perfect! As if being incarcerated wasn't enough!
KISAME: -screams in pain- AAGH!! GET OFF!! GET OFF!! AAAAAHHHH!!!
HIDAN: Sure, why not?
questions...
Itachi- have you ever considered dating a guy...like maybe deidara, cuz well idunno. I've read some stories. Deidara & Sasori- have you read the yaoi stories about you, awe man they're good. Tobi- me love you! Kisame- do you ever sing 'just keep swimming' to yourself? (be honest) Well me love you all...(kinda)(//.)
From: xvampirexblood
ITACHI: … WHAT THE HELL.
DEIDARA (and Sasori): WE'RE NOT GAY!!
TOBI: … -smiles :D-
KISAME: No. –shifty eyes- I sing a lot of songs, alright? Y'know?
Itachi: your the only Akatsuki I hate! DIE!(shotes him)
Kisame: your my favorite character. What type of girl do you like?
Zetsu: (brings sister back to life) stop crying!
Kakuzu: here's 50 bucks
Hidan: Can I join your religion?
Konan: How do you survive being the only female of the Akatsuki?
Deidara: can you blow up the white house for me?
Tobi: (gives huge& cake) YOUR A GOOD BOY!
Pein: don't be mean to Tobi!
P.s. I want Kisame to sing and dance to Cuban Pete!
From: kgf
ITACHI: …You spelled 'shoots' wrong. I don't think I have to worry about someone who can get that wrong.
KISAME: I think that would be obvious by now…
ZETSU: SHE'S A LIFELESS DOLL!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
KAKUZU: thank… you… this is the nicest gift I've ever received… Next to the thousand dollars my grandmother sent me.
HIDAN: What about the bouquet of rare flowers that a fangirls gave to you?
KAKUZU: Not even close.
HIDAN: NO!! ONLY THE CHOSEN PEOPLE SHALL JOIN!!
KONAN: I just do.
DEIDARA: I would but,… the CIA's been watching me like a hawk lately. I bet these guys don't have a life. I bet they haven't had a date since college!
-starts yelling to black van outside base- YA HEAR THAT NERDS!? I'M ONTO YOU!!!!
--van drives away- and a black ice cream truck arrives-
TOBI: OOH! ICE CREAM!! –jumps out (5th story) window-
Madara: Me and Tobi are in pain right now. We cannot answer any questions from now on.
-cake falls on Tobi's head- Aw man…
PEIN: BITE ME! –double finger-
p.s: There's a flash like that on DeviantART… look it up and LEAVE US A LONE!! THE SAILOR SONG WAS A ONE-TIME DEAL!! Unless the leader says otherwise.
Can I ask a question?
Okay, me and my friend like different Akatsuki. I like Kisame, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Hidan; and she likes Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, and Pein. The only one we both like is Konan.(There is only one other character like that) Now I need a straight answer, which group is better? Thnx! From: the Nobody-Somebody
TOBI: Where's me?
PEIN: I say the one with me in it is the best. I give meaning to your meaningless lives.
KISAME: No, it's me! I'm the host of this show!
PEIN: well I'M THE LEADER!! –punches Kisame-
KISAME: -mortally pissed- OH NO YOU DIDN'T!! –punches leader-
-everyone punches each other in a fistfight-
Shniz looked at the fight before him, deciding whether he should join or not. "FIGHT!!" he jumped in head first into the whole mess.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
-:-
Tobi, who had a black eye (not that we could tell) was sitting at the Talkshow desk. "Hello, welcome back to the show. Since everyone else is either incarcerated or in the hospital, I will now continue with the show with an Omake Theatre: A Day in the life of Me! Tobi! Enjoy!"
Omake Theatre: A Day In The Life of Tobi
Morning-
"YAAY!!" He jumped out of bed and walked to the bathroom. As he was trying to brush his teeth, his mask got in the way as always. "Aww… -disappointment-"
As he walks to the kitchen, he realizes there's a camera following him. "Huh? WHO ARE YOU!? AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! –spaz attack-" He apparently fell down the stairs and into the kitchen, amazingly landing in his chair. Noticing that there was actual Buttered toast on the table, he yelled, "Yay! Real food!" He tried to eat it, but the mask, once again, got in his way.
Watching TV-
The TV just exploded. "Aw… -disappointed-" And the couch broke. " Aw… -deeper disappointment-" and Shniz came by and said Hello. "F-K!!"
On a Mission-
The branch in the tree he was hiding in breaks and landed in front of enemy. "Aw! –slight frustration-" he is now screaming like a baby and running away from the enemy, bringing embarrassment once again to the Akatsuki name.
Lunch-
Tries again to eat the same buttered toast. "Rgh… -frustration-"
Checking Email-
From Deidara
Subject: You suck!
Message: YOU SUCK. YOU FAIL. YOU'RE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO THE WORLD!!
"Aw… -depression-
Subject: You rock!
"Yay!"
Sender: Shniz
"…Aw… -anger-depression-"
Meeting-
"Tobi, you failed the mission. You will now have to redeem yourself with an even tougher mission." Pein said. Tobi broke his pencil.
Later that Night-
Tobi came back to the house all beaten up and had an arrow in his back. "Ugh…" He tries once more to eat the same buttered toast. Failing again, he shoves the toast in the camera's face.
Brushing his teeth-
Fails again due to mask. "Argh… -annoyance-"
Sleep time-
He sighs in relaxation and lies down on his bed. And the bed breaks and crashes through the floor and into Kakuzu's room.
"TOBI!! FIX MY CEILING!!" Kakuzu ordered. "And maybe a sandwich."
With no skill with power tools, he nearly cut off his own hand.
8:00 in the morning-
He finally goes to bed and relaxes. When suddenly Pein power-sawed his way into his room. "TOBI YOU HAVE ANOTHER MISSION!!" he yelled. He looked around him and at the wall. "And fix the wall, it got messed up for some reason." With that, Pein power-sawed his way through the door. "FIX THAT TOO!!"
Tobi's eye twitched. "Ugh… -Anger-depression-frustration-
Omake Theatre: A Life In The Life of Tobi: End
TOBI: Wow, what a depressing life I lead…
ME: Well, if you think that's bad, wait till you see A Day In The Life of Shniz. (Do Not expect this to come up soon)
Thanks again, the Nobody-Somebody for being our 100th reviewer!