Four hours passed before the doctors came back and gave everyone an update. In that time, half of Firehouse 51 had left, but the Intelligence Unit didn't budge. Two of their own were still in there and they needed to be there when they got out.
And finally, after four hours, the doctor came back.
"Alright, I have an update." The doctor said as he approached Jay, Voight and Kelly, who were all sitting anxiously as he walked up. He looked down at his chart, "Adam Ruzek has here that one of his emergency contacts is Alvin Olinsky. Is he present?"
Olinsky stood up and walked to the doctor, "Here." He said, flashing his ID.
The doctor nodded and smiled, "Perfect. Adam Ruzek is doing just fine. He had a bad break in his left forearm, but we were able to repair it with a surgery where we inserted a rod to support the bone. The good news is that the only thing that will change about his life is his experience going through security at airports, but the bad news is that he will have to go to rehab for a week, maybe two and won't be able to shoot a firearm for maybe three or four weeks. Everything else should go back to normal. We're probably gonna keep him overnight just to be safe, but he'll be released tomorrow."
Voight nodded, silently trying to calculate how their unit would work with potentially three of their members out, not including the fact that they'd lost Jin too. They were down four members, but that wasn't his biggest concern. "And Lindsay?"
"You're Detective Voight, right?" The doctor asked, looking him over, "The same one that came for Ms. Lindsay last time she was here?"
Voight nodded and reached for his ID, but the doctor waved him off.
"No need." He said, he recognized Voight and his voice, there was no one else he could be mistaking him for. "Erin Lindsay is currently stable." He started, "There was severe damage to her lungs caused by direct inhalation of smoke and other contents, but we gave her oxygen and her shortness of breath should clear up in a few days." He paused, "More severe were her burns. There were only three and none of them were larger than a few inches wide, one on her right forearm, one on her lower back and one on the palm of her hand. The one on her back was first degree, borderline second degree and the one on her forearm was first degree too, it was the one on the palm of her left hand that gave us the most trouble." He took in a breath, "The palm of the hand has unusually thick skin due to it's excessive use, but from the looks of it, I'd guess she grabbed something extremely hot, probably a pipe or railing that burnt her hand all the way to the nerve fibers, second degree, almost third. We performed a skin graft, but the nerve endings were severely damaged and we don't know what mobility she'll have in that hand when she wakes up from the anesthesia."
Voight breathed in deeply and nodded, not accepting it. Her hand would be okay, she would wake up and move her fingers and realize how ridiculous it had been for everyone to be so concerned about it. He wouldn't accept anything just yet.
"So when can we see them?" Antonio asked.
The doctor glanced down at the chart, "Mr. Ruzek is getting released as we speak. And you can go to see Ms. Lindsay, but she may not be awake when you go to see her, the anesthetics will probably still be wearing off."
Voight nodded and turned back towards his team, a question plaguing his mind.
"I'll stay back and wait for Ruzek to get out." Olinsky said, as if he'd read Voight's mind. "And then we'll meet you guys up there."
Voight patted Olinsky's arm, "Thanks, O." He said, itching to go see Erin. He turned back to the doctor, who willingly gave him her room number and then he, along with Antonio, Jay, Kelly, Atwater and the doctor, who accompanied them because they were such a big group.
When they got to Erin's room, the doctor stood in front of the door, "Now, she's just gone through a trauma so only one person can go in at a time just so she doesn't get overwhelmed, got it?" He asked, glancing back at the door.
They nodded.
"Who's first?"
"Me." Voight said, glancing around at all the people and when no one objected, the doctor stepped to the side and allowed him to enter the room. When he stepped through the doorway, the first thing he heard was the beeping from her heart monitor. It was a steady, rhythmic beeping that he matched with his footsteps.
She was awake when he walked in.
"Hey…" He said to her carefully, "How're you feeling, kid?"
Erin cracked a smile and took in a deep, strained breath. "I feel okay." She said, her voice sounding twice as raspy and hoarse than it usually did. "How is everyone else doing?" She asked.
Voight tried to remember the details, "Halstead's alright, has a sprained shoulder. I think Severide went in for some rib fractures and Ruzek is checking out right now with a few screws in his arm." He let out a sigh, "We heard about you too, how's your hand?"
Erin smiled and looked down at the thick bandages surrounding her hand. Concentrating, she bent her fingers slowly, "The mobility is there, I just have to concentrate. The doctors say it will get easier, they seem pretty optimistic about it."
Voight smiled too, "You gave us a scare." He sighed with a small chuckle, "Me." He paused, "You gave me a scare. It got me thinking about old times too." He shook his head, "When I'd sit at home and wait every night for you and Justin to come home from whatever parties you were at."
"I don't remember that…" Erin said, smirking.
Voight nodded slowly, "Because I always went upstairs when you got home. And I could hear you talking about how you got away with it, but I knew. I knew you kids were coming home late and sometimes tipsy so the next week, you'd "lose" your phone or your car would "break down" that weekend. I had my ways…"
Erin shook her head, "I never knew you were so cunning." She paused, "And so worried…?"
Voight shrugged, "I do have heart despite what people say." He took in a deep breath, "I always worried about you kids and so did Camille." He reached down and took her good hand in his, "I'm glad you're okay and I promise, I promise we're gonna find the son of a bitch who did this to you, alright?"
Erin smirked and shook her head, "You're never supposed to promise."
"What?"
Erin looked up at him, "To the victims or families, you're never supposed to make a promise you can't keep." She said softly.
Voight shook his head, "No. Not this time." He said, "That's how sure I am." He paused, "We're gonna find him and when we do…" He shook his head, "He's gonna pay."
Lindsay smiled, but she wasn't sure if she should feel relieved or guilty to hear that because when Voight said someone "had to pay", she knew that they would be paying with a lot more than money. Quickly, she brushed it off, deciding to address it later.
Voight stayed with her for a few minutes after that before remembering there were a few other people waiting outside to see her. He gave her a quick hug, said his temporary goodbyes and walked out of the room.
Kelly was the next one to come in. Somehow, he wasn't sure when, he'd surpassed Jay in the line to get into her room. He waited for Voight to come out before pushing the door open and entering. His stomach fluttered when he saw her. It was like he was seeing her for the first time all over again, "Erin." He smiled his famous crooked smile.
She looked up and returned her own shy smile, "Kelly…" She paused, "How are you?" She asked, looking him over. She could see that he was still wearing the thick fire fighter pants he'd had on during the fire.
Kelly shrugged, "A few fractured ribs." He shook his head and looked down at the bandages on her arm and hand, "What about you?"
Erin looked up at him, "I'm okay. The doctors say it looks good…" She paused, "Look Kelly…I know I didn't have time during all the…chaos, but you…during the fire and the collapse, you…" She choked up, trying to come up with the words to describe how she was feeling.
Kelly rubbed her arm gently, "You don't have to say it." He said, "I already know." He paused and looked down at her, "I just wish there was more I could do for you…"
Erin shook her head, "More?" She smirked, "Kelly, you saved my life. I don't even think there's a way I could repay you for that. You don't owe me anything. If it weren't for you…" She paused, shaking her head, "I don't know what would've happened."
Kelly smiled and leaned over her bed, quiet for a few moments before finally he brushed some of her hair out of her face, "You're so beautiful." He said, "Even now…" He paused, "Especially now."
Erin smiled up at him.
He stood there for a few seconds more before finally leaning back, "I should go now. There's a few more people that I think want to talk to you." He smiled, "I wish I could stay, but it wouldn't be fair to them."
"Go." Erin insisted, "Change out of those smelly clothes. Don't you own a shower?"
Kelly shrugged, "No I don't." He said with a smirk, "Didn't you know? The only time I get to bathe is when it rains and I just stand out in my backyard with just some boxers on and some soap." He shrugged, "It's called modest living."
"Shut up." Erin said with a chuckle, "Go home."
Kelly nodded with a smile, "I'll be back tomorrow." He pulled the door open and exited, a smile still radiating on his face. He looked at Jay for a moment and then held out his hand, "I'll see you around." He said.
Jay shook it and returned a smile before stepping towards the door and walking inside. His heart was pounding. He could barely remember the last words they spoke to each other before now, he could barely think of anything to say. As he walked in, he just displayed a smile on his face, trying to hide his nervousness.
"Hello there." She said, a small smile on her face that highlighted small dimples on her cheeks.
Jay walked over to her bed and put his hands on the side, "Erin…" He shook his head, "It is so good to see you. God," He paused, "We got so lucky…"
Erin nodded, still smirking, "Yea…the doctors said that a few more seconds in the fire and I would have lost full mobility in my hand. One more minute breathing in the smoke, I would have had permanent respiratory impediments."
Jay looked down at her, "Then why are you smiling?" He asked, finding it very hard to muster up a smile as he saw what state she was in, lying in that bed, her hand and arm bandaged thickly along with her stomach and her shoulder (from the GSW).
Erin shrugged, "Those are just ifs, Jay. None of them happened, like you just said…we got lucky." She paused and gave a small smile, "And I think that's something to smile about."
Jay sat down in the chair next to her bed, "I don't know if you know…or if Voight told you, but we got Pedro Chavez, Patick O'Leary and Shane Rabin. From what I've heard in the past few hours, they're in good shape and have a long life in prison to look ahead to."
Erin looked up, "Wait, what do you have on Patrick O'Leary?"
"Attemped murder, smuggling, kidnapping, accomplice to arson…" Jay rattled off, trying to remember.
She shook her head, "No. He didn't try to murder anyone, he didn't smuggle, he didn't help kidnap us. He was on Chavez' list, he made a deal with them…that he would help them if they didn't kill him like they were planning to do."
Jay took in a deep breath, "He's still an accomplice."
"But what about self defense?" Erin asked, shaking her head. She paused for a moment, "When I was younger and I joined Charlie's ring of friends, I was on the outside and so was Patrick. We stuck together. We were the young ones, we were the kids who always had to prove their loyalty, the kids who always had to do the dirty work." She looked at Jay, "He had my back and now, I have to have his."
Jay shrugged, "He'd have to go to court and prove self defense, but I'm sure with your testimony and a few others, he would have a good case."
She nodded.
"There's just one other thing." Jay looked down at her, "We got Pedro Chavez, but not Emilio. He's still out there…somewhere." He said and before he let her say anything, he added, "But we're gonna get him. Voight's already contacting CI's, we're gonna have either Burgess or Roman here with you at all times, there's no way he could get to you."
"What about Kevin?"
Jay tilted his head, "Kevin?"
"Kevin Briggs." Erin clarified, "He's the son of Voight's CI that we went and talked to. They got him too, he was in the building with us, remember? Him and Charlie."
Jay nodded, "Oh yea." He shrugged again, "I'm not sure about the specifics about him, but I'm sure the doctors would have told us if anything serious had happened so he's probably okay. I can go check if you want…and give Olinsky and Ruzek the chance to say hi."
Erin smiled, "Thanks Jay." She said.
He nodded and stood up, walking towards the door. He looked back at her as he turned the handle and smiled again before finally walking out. He nodded to Ruzek and Olinsky before walking over to the nurse's station where Severide was standing.
The nurse looked up when Jay walked over, he smiled politely, "Do you have any information on Kevin Briggs by any chance? My friend is good friends with him and she just wants to know that he's okay…"
The nurse nodded slowly, "I can tell you whether he's okay or not, but nothing more than that. How does that sound?" She asked, smiling.
"Perfect." Jay said as he leaned up against the counter. He saw that she was typing so he looked away, gazing at one of the nearby walls, a smile on his face. Seeing that she was okay had put him in a much better mood. He hadn't realized how worried he'd been until he walked into her room and felt the weight lifting off of his shoulder. He really cared about her, she was his partner, one of his best friends, she was always there and he couldn't imagine that ever changing. And this time, it hadn't.
She was okay.
And she would still be there. He wouldn't have to imagine her gone anymore and that was why he couldn't help smiling. He glanced sideways and saw that Severide had a smile displayed on his face too. He knew that the other man was probably thinking the same thing that he was, but in that moment, he didn't care.
They would move on, they would catch Chavez, he would be okay, Erin would be okay and maybe they would be able to re-establish some kind of normalcy in their lives. Maybe they would be able to forget how close they had been to losing everything.
How close they had been to losing everything. They had to remember that…the good side of this: that they hadn't lost anyone, not even any of the kidnappers. And that was good. The kidnappers would do their time, the Intelligence Unit would track down the killers and the world would keep spinning.
"Sir."
Jay turned his head, wondering how long she'd been calling his name. "Sorry." He said, smiling. He looked down at her, but she was staring at the computer screen, her smile had vanished.
"It's alright." She said softly, "Just to clarify…you were asking about Kevin Briggs, correct?"
Jay nodded.
The nurse looked down at the screen again, "Mr. Briggs was admitted to the hospital with all the other victims, it appears he was in critical condition and went into surgery. The surgeons did everything they could, but he passed away from complications a few hours ago."
And just like that, the "good side" of the situation that he had been thinking about just seconds earlier, was gone. They had lost someone, Erin had lost someone that Jay knew was extremely important to her and he had to be the one to go tell her.
He shook his head, mumbled a thank you to the nurse and turned, without looking at Severide. He walked back over to Erin's door and watched as Olinsky went in and Ruzek came out. He nodded to Ruzek and then waited outside the door, trying to prepare himself for the crushing news he would be giving out in a few minutes.
This wasn't the first time she'd felt grief.
She couldn't count the number of times she'd been immersed in situations just like this. She'd lost her father to jail before she'd even gotten the chance to know him. She'd lost her mother in more ways than one. She'd lost aunts, uncles, one of her cousins, her grandfather and a few friends, all before she'd turned 18.
She'd felt grief before.
To her, it felt like an ocean. It completely immersed and pulled her under. She felt like she couldn't breathe, she felt like she couldn't move and she just sank. Slowly, she fell deeper and deeper into sadness. Every time she felt like she hit the bottom, she would find herself sinking deeper until it felt like it was endless.
The ocean, the grief, swallowed her whole.
She stood in front of the coffin.
The funeral was scheduled to start in a few more hours, but she came early to help Kevin's dad prepare, but instead, she'd gravitated straight for the closed coffin, ready to be lowered into the ground. She stared down at it, imagining Kevin, fully dressed in a tuxedo probably, lying peacefully inside.
He was gone. It was shocking to her how people could just be gone like that, done, their lives ended. It terrifying how quickly and unexpectedly it had happened.
"Hey." She heard from behind her, but she didn't turn. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jay walk up next to her.
She kept her eyes glued to the coffin, "Hey." She replied softly. She could tell Jay didn't know what to say. A few moments passed and then finally, he spoke.
"You really cared about him, huh?" Jay looked down at the coffin and didn't wait for her to answer, "What was he like?"
She looked over at Jay.
"Kevin." He specified, "What was he like? I never got the chance to meet him."
Erin didn't say anything for a moment and then she smiled, looking down, "He had a huge heart. He was the kind of guy who would give his last dollar to someone else or say something that would make your day." She smirked, "You would have liked him. He had the same sense of humor as you." She shook her head, "It's just sad that we lost touch. I thought we were going to be close forever and then eleven years went by."
"It's normal to lose touch." Jay said, trying to console her.
Erin nodded, "I know. I just never thought to call and check on him. He fell back into our old crowd, the drugs, the smuggling and I didn't even know." She shook her head, "And I know it wasn't my responsibility to know or to call, but it's just sad."
Jay looked over at her, "I know." He said, unable to think of anything better.
Erin didn't care. What he said didn't matter, just the fact that he was there standing next to her was enough. She stared down at the shiny coffin and saw her reflection. She took in a deep breath, "They asked me to say something today."
Jay nodded. "Are you going to?"
"I'm going to try." Erin said, looking up at him, "How do you come up with something to say?" She shrugged, "I mean, we deal with death all the time, but not like this. It's one thing to tell complete strangers they've lost their son, it's another thing to stand in front of a room full of people that knew and loved someone and tell them how you feel, you know?"
Jay nodded slowly, "I know whatever you say is going to be great. I mean, Kevin was your friend. You know how all those people are feeling, you know what to say."
"I want to find him."
Jay turned, "What?"
"I want to find Chavez." The controlled anger in her voice was clear.
Jay was surprised by that change in subject. He looked over at her, "You know what happened. Internal affairs took the case because it was 'too personal' to us. We have to work on the cases at hand and try to find him on our free time."
"I want to find him, Jay."
Jay took in a breath, "Erin, your hand…" He started, "It hasn't healed yet. You have to get re-certified to carry a gun, you aren't supposed to come back to work for another week. This is too much, too fast." He insisted.
Erin glanced down at the cast around her hand. She looked at the scars that weren't concealed by the soft cast. Those scars were permanent. They would fade, but would never be completely gone. Chavez had marked her, he had taken one of her friends and it was his turn to pay. "I'll do it with or without you." She said, "But I have to find him."
Jay didn't like the tone of her voice. Maybe it was desperation, maybe anger. Either way, he wasn't sure that was a good enough reason for her to drop everything and pursue the man who had done this to her. But he really didn't want her to do it alone, "I'll make a deal with you."
She didn't say anything.
"Wait one week. Your re-certification is next week, right? By then, you'll have a gun again, you'll be further along in your recovery and we'll be able to dive headfirst into the case." Jay said, "Just one week and you and me, we'll find him."
Erin didn't want to agree to that. But she knew that it was probably for the best. She needed Jay's help with this and the only way she was going to get it was by going along with his terms. "Deal." She said before looking up at him, "Thanks Jay. You've been great through all of this. And I know it hasn't been easy and I haven't really made it that easy, but you stuck around so thank you."
Jay smiled over at her, "Your damn right, I stuck around." He put his arm around her, "I'm here for you, alright?" He squeezed her.
Erin nodded, cracking a smile, "Yea. Thanks for that."
The next hour consisted mostly of putting out chairs, exchanging soft hellos and stories about Kevin before everyone took their seats and sat in silence, listening to the melodies of the piano player in the back of the room.
Mr. Briggs sat in the front pew, his head down. He looked so skinny and shaken, like this death was tearing him apart. It probably was. Kevin was his only son. He'd lost his wife a few years ago, that boy was all he had. And they had been close too. As close as a father and son could be.
He was the first one to stand up, after the priest, and speak. He struggled to find words in the beginning, the sadness and grief was visible on his face. "When I was 24 and my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, the first thing I did was panic. I thought I wasn't ready. I thought being a father was something I couldn't handle. The feeling it continued all throughout the pregnancy until finally, she went into labor. I waited seven hours until finally I got to hold our baby boy in my arms. He was big too, Kevin was born a large baby, and the moment I picked him up I knew that I was ready. To be a father, to care for my new-born son, to take on the responsibility of another person. I was ready. From that moment on, I loved that boy. I loved Kevin. He was such a good kid, got into some trouble here and there, eventually got mixed up into the wrong crowd, but he was still a good kid. His heart…was just so pure and good, I swear, to this day, I haven't seen one like it and I doubt I ever will. I am so proud of my boy, he was brave up until the moment he died, I just know it. And I know he's in a better place now and I have to believe that I'll see him again one day." He paused, "I loved that boy. Kevin, I loved him. And I still do. I probably always will."
Ending with that, he turned away from the podium and slowly stepped off the stage, a soft round of applause following his exit. The priest stepped up to the mike, "And now I believe a friend of Kevin's, Erin Lindsay, would like to say a few words."
Erin stood up and immediately felt all of their eyes on her, all of their tear-filled eyes staring up at her, looking to her for words and reasons. She stepped up to the stage and stood in front of the podium, immediately locking eyes with Jay in the audience. She felt comfortable looking at him, she felt comfortable just talking to him.
"I met Kevin Briggs when I was 14 years old. The day I met him, the day I talked to him for the very first time, he saved my life…in more ways than one. I had been struggling to find myself and Kevin helped me to find my way. Countless times when I had been in danger, Kevin helped me or saved me. He saved my life too many times to count. And to this day, that is what I will remember about Kevin: he never gave up on friends. So many times, I'd been off the rails, ready to spiral, but he'd just pull me back on track. He truly always looked out for other people before himself. He was kind, he was generous, he gave much more than he got. I think he was a hero." Erin took in a deep breath, "And god, I'm gonna miss him. Before a few weeks ago, it had been eleven years since I'd talked to Kevin. I lost touch. And the moment I finally talked to him again and finally started to connect with him again, he was just gone. It's amazing the kind of perspective you get from an experience like that." She paused, "The way I see it is this: Life can change in an instant. One minute a person is there, the next, they're gone. But Kevin, he wouldn't want us to dwell on the instant that ended his life, he would want us to remember the years that made up his life, the memories, the laughs, the cries, the scares, everything that made him great. To me, there is a time to mourn, there is a time to laugh, there is a time to grieve and deny and bargain, but today I say we make time to celebrate. Because Kevin, he lived a life that at least deserves that much."