A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! There are not many chapters left, so hang in there ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

One of the Reasons

11. The Toughest Choice of All

Things started going bad in the third week of April when one evening Peter and Tyler, with Charlie hovering in the background, cornered Regulus in their dormitory.

"Look, Reg, we know what's going on. Now that you got a girl, you don't have time for us," Tyler began. "Been there, done that. You'll get over it. But the point is we've made a bet and we need to know: is it Claire or Elizabeth?"

Regulus looked at them in utter amazement.

"Neither?" Tyler seemed a little taken aback.

"I don't even have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, right, and I'm a Thestral," Peter snorted.

"But who is it, then? I mean, Claire and Liz are the only pretty and single Slytherins."

Regulus shifted uncomfortably. Why was this conversation even happening?

"Merlin's pants!" Peter exclaimed suddenly. "She's not a Slytherin? Are you out of your bloody mind?"

"Hey, relax, Pete. The most important thing is that she's a pure-blood. She is, right?" Tyler asked almost pleadingly.

"She is," Regulus admitted reluctantly, hoping they would be satisfied with this. They weren't.

"Then why the whole mystery?" Tyler asked.

Regulus realized he was sweating. It didn't feel like a conversation between friends; it was more like an interrogation, maybe because he knew he was "guilty". What was he supposed to say?

"I– I didn't want you to, you know, make fun of me. And, you know, I don't know if it's going to work out and, well, you know," he babbled a little nervously. Peter looked convinced but Tyler was not to be fooled.

"Look, Reg," he began in a low voice, "if she's not the right kind of girl for you, then ditch her. Now. If there are any doubts about where your loyalties lie, they won't let you join them."

"Join who?" Regulus asked, surprised by the turn in the conversation.

"The Gobstone club. No, you idiot, the Death Eaters won't let you join them." Tyler sighed when Regulus looked at him in bewilderment. "Haven't you heard? Every Slytherin over sixteen years old can become a Death Eater this summer. Peter's been prattling about it non-stop for the past couple of weeks."

"Hey!" Peter protested indignantly. "I wasn't prattling! I'm just excited, okay? It's an honour to serve the Dark Lord. I've always wanted to be one of his Death Eaters."

"So have I but I'm not behaving like a girl at Madam Malkin's," Tyler said impatiently and turned his attention back to Regulus. "So, Reg, if that chick of yours is not acceptable, ditch her. I mean it. Don't ruin your life because of her. You won't get another chance if you choose her over the Dark Lord. You'll be the enemy."

Regulus stood rooted to the spot, unable to look away or even say anything. He had never heard Tyler talk in such a serious voice and it was that, more than anything else, that was giving him the creeps.

"And you know what will people think if you don't join the Death Eaters along with everybody else this summer?" Tyler continued. "That you're like your filthy, Muggle-loving brother. You don't want that, Reg, do you?"

Regulus swallowed hard, realizing suddenly that lying low was not an option anymore. Holly was right, he would have to take sides. And everything that was important – his future, his relationships with other people (not only Holly, but his friends and family as well), his conscience – depended on him joining or not joining the Death Eaters. It was bizarre that one decision could have such an impact on his life, and that he would have to make it in a couple of months. But the worst part was that he didn't know what to choose. His heart and his brain were once again at war.

The second blow came two days later in the form of a letter from his parents.

Dearest Son,

We were very sorry you could not come home for Easter, but we are, naturally, encouraging you to pursue your studies and prepare for your exams. However, as you probably know, there are other reasons why this summer will be exceptional. We strongly suggest that you consider taking part in this ceremony. Joining the ranks of the Dark Lord's most faithful servants could be an even better stepping stone than passing all of your OWLs. And of course you would contribute to bringing about the better world that we are all waiting for, the world where pure-blood wizards will take their rightful place over Muggles and other creatures.

Regulus Arcturus, you are our only son and we put all our faith in you, hoping you will be a worthy member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. We trust you will make us proud.

Your parents
Toujours pur

Regulus crumpled the letter in his hand and swallowed hard. It seemed he didn't really have a choice. His friends were convinced that he wanted to become a Death Eater, and his parents clearly hoped he would. And trying to come up to their expectations was something Regulus did all his life. He knew that it was no use kidding himself anymore. He wasn't strong enough to turn his back on them, to become their enemy and the object of their wrath, to risk losing everything. He was too scared to do it.

And he was equally scared to tell Holly about it. But he owed it to her. She needed to hear it from him.

He was standing when she entered the Room that Saturday and she realized immediately that something was wrong.

"What happened?" she asked, coming over to him.

Regulus took a deep breath. It was really hard to tell her but he still hoped she would understand.

"I– I can't see you anymore," he said, not looking at her. He was afraid of her reaction.

"Please tell me it's because you can't stand me," she said quietly.

Regulus sighed. That would be the easy way out. But he owed her the truth.

"I'll probably become a Death Eater in the summer," he blurted out, wanting to have it over with.

For a second she was incredulous, but then he saw anger in her eyes.

"Go screw yourself," she spat and turned to leave but he caught her arm.

"Holly, wait–"

"For what? I already told you, you can't have it both ways, Regulus. Either you choose You-Know-Who or you choose people like me. And if you want to become a Death Eater, then that is the last conversation we'll ever have."

"But you know it's not that simple!" he protested, his temper rising. "It's not that I want to do it. I don't have a choice! What if he hurts my family? What if he kills you?"

"Oh, so you're trying to be noble, are you?" she sneered. "But he didn't do anything when your brother went over to the other side, did he? And he doesn't need an excuse to kill me, I've already signed my death warrant. No, Regulus, I remember what you said before. You're afraid. You're afraid of sticking your neck out. You're afraid of taking control of your own life. Why? Because it's safer to keep quiet and let others make decisions for you?"

"Holly–"

"What? What? Did you think I would be sympathetic, cry a little and watch you go?"

No, he didn't expect that. She was not that kind of girl. But he couldn't stand being lectured. He already knew that he was a coward and a loser, and he was mad at himself for not being able to do anything about it. He didn't need to hear it from her.

There was a long silence, during which Holly seemed to calm down a little.

"Goodbye, Regulus," she said quietly, sounding more sad than angry, and left the room. He watched her go and couldn't quite persuade himself that he did the right thing.