Authors Note: I'm particularly Proud of this chapter. I dunno why. I guess it's just because I got some great new reviewers that made me especially eager to get this next chapter up. I really want you guys to enjoy this story. I know I am. I'm quite shocked by how long this chapter is, too (why am I always talking about length?). It's the longest yet. By 2000 words. Go me! Anyway. Read and Enjoy. And review if it strikes your fancy. The next chapter is plotted out - hopefully it won't take as long to get up.
WhatWouldMrsWeasleyDo I'm sorry! But i couldn't bear to wait another moment. It's not like you take long, either - i just wanted to post it as soon as I finished! Next chapter you get to review ahead of time, no worries. :-)
I glared at Katie in annoyance as Remus stood with his arms around her. When had they even progressed to the cuddling stage? Didn't they just start dating a few days ago? I rolled my eyes. Relationships were so . . . gooey.
"Is there a problem, Padfoot?" Remus queried with a raised eyebrow. I didn't bother to answer. He knew what I was thinking: relationships were for brainwashed teenagers fixated on the stereotypes of society.
Honestly, why was everyone so concerned with being in a relationship when a shag was just as good? If everyone would just shut up and admit that, yes, they were only interested bodies, then we could just skip all this gag-inducing romance and get on with it.
I let all my annoyance out with a sigh and burst into a grin as I realized we'd finished our potion. "Merlin, it's about time that bloody thing is done. Do you have any idea how much a pain in my arse it was to track down those ingredients?"
"Do you have any idea how much it was a pain in our arse's to brew it?" Remus countered.
I snorted. "Your effort was nothing compared to mine. I lost sleep contemplating how I should obtain such elusive ingredients."
"Oh, please. It's more likely you lost galleons," Remus remarked with a smirk.
I gasped in mock indignation. "Remus, do you honestly think that I put no more effort into this potion than a trip to Hogsmeade?"
"Yes," he answered blandly.
"Well. Actually, yeah, you're right," I said with a shrug and an easy grin. He threw his quill at me.
"Wait," Katie interjected with a shy and perplexed smile, "how'd you get to Hogsmeade? Did one of the teachers give you a pass?" She twisted around in Remus' arms to look questioningly into his face. He grinned at her before glancing at me.
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about that," I advised her with a patronizing smile. I was proud of myself for refraining from what I really wanted to tell her: shut up and quit interrupting the men.
Remus shot me a glare, angry with me for my tone. Katie blushed deeply and snapped her mouth shut.
I relented with a sigh. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to know how I got that pass to Hogsmeade. It involved a lot of wily seduction and witty rhetoric. It would leave you emotionally scarred," I informed her with an amiable tone of voice and waggling eyebrows. She didn't need to know that I'd gotten to Hogsmeade the Marauder's way. Let her think it took a teachers note. It was fun to tease her about it, anyway.
She giggled and relaxed back into Remus' arms, though her blush darkened at my comment. I grudgingly decided that I could have some fun with the girl, at least. She was easy to embarrass.
"I suggest we get on with it and drink this potion," Remus finally declared with a martyred sigh. None of us were particularly eager to reveal what made us most uncomfortable. Even if ours wasn't the absolute strongest (like James' was), it was still strong enough to go pretty deep.
I shrugged, deciding that if it had to be done I might as well do it. After all, I was the mighty Sirius Black. Whatever that concoction revealed I would take in stride. No problem.
I picked up my vial and downed it in one gulp, ignoring the anxious stares of Remus and Katie. Nothing happened until Katie finally thought to ask it as a question.
My throat constricted as an answer was forced out: "My longings." Remus' eyebrows shot up and Katie's cheeks flared again. I presented a nonchalant appearance, although inwardly I recoiled.
Why would my longings make me uncomfortable? They were pretty straightforward: good career, strong friendships, and even stronger magic. And girls. Of course. Right? I shoved the thought away violently, not willing - or unable - to face it, and answered the look my audience was giving me.
"Well, it only makes sense," I remarked with snarky grin, choosing to go with the horny teenager explanation, "after all, my longings could make me pretty uncomfortable in many situations." I glanced pointedly at my groin before continuing. "Could you imagine during class . . . ?"
Remus groaned in annoyance as Katie hid her flaming face in her hands - though she did seem rather amused. "Wow, Padfoot," Remus said with a shake of his head, "you're really not deep at all, are you?"
I shook my own head, unable to muster a rebuff. For some reason his comment bothered me. It disappointed me that he so easily accepted my explanation. He should have known better. I shook it off with a shrug, though, because I was just as unwilling to examine the true meaning of my "longings." I didn't want to deal with it.
Remus neatly recorded my answer before swallowing the potion himself.
"What makes you most uncomfortable, Remus?" I asked with a gloating grin. I was hoping for something I could tease him about, and he knew it.
"Myself," he answered simply. I rolled my eyes at his answer, unsurprised by the lack of originality in it. He fixated far too much on who and what he was.
"Tell me something I don't know," I said with a laugh while Remus wrote down his own results. Katie seemed taken aback by his answer, however, and I knew my best mate was in for a long conversation later. I supposed that was pretty funny.
"My turn," Katie remarked tentatively as she gingerly picked up her allotted vial. She swallowed it all with a grimace before turning to Remus in expectation.
"Katie, what makes you most uncomfortable?" he queried, quill poised to record her answer.
After a pause that seemed far longer than either Moony's or my own, she uncomfortably replied: "Sirius."
"James! Just shut up and drink the bloody potion!" Lily finally snapped at me after my fourth - and well justified - protest.
"I repeat, I will NOT drink that in front of Snivellus. It's degrading."
"I swear by Merlin's beard, Potter, that if you don't drink that potion I will hex your arse so hard that you'll land in the bloody lake!"
"It's not gonna happen, Lily," I told her matter-of-factly. Even my love for her couldn't make me do it. Plus, she looked pretty damn cute when she was this pissed.
"I can assure you, Potter, that I am perfectly willing to keep mum on the subject," Snivellus ground out. "Your petty discomforts mean nothing to me."
"You're full of shit," I declared, shaking my head and crossing my arms as I did so. I didn't care if we were stuck down in these bloody dungeons for the rest of the day. I was not drinking that fucking potion.
"Potter -," Lily began with a snarl before Snape cut her off.
"Need I remind you that I've kept my mouth shut in many areas?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
I recoiled as if slapped. Dumbledore had forced him to do it, I was sure . . . but he could have found a way to spill the beans on Remus' lycanthropy. Maybe he did have a bloody point. I felt heat creep up my cheeks at Snivellus' well placed rebuke.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked suspiciously, eyeing us both with a look of utter consternation.
"It's none of your concern," Snape informed her, before turning back to me and holding out the vial. I was surprised by his complete lack of affection for her. The two of them had been surprisingly cool towards one another throughout the whole project. I wondered what had happened, but promptly dismissed it with a shrug. It was nothing to worry about. It just made my chances with Lily even better.
I sighed and gulped down the potion, waiting for Lily to ask the appointed question.
"What makes you most uncomfortable?" she asked after a moments hesitation - as if she didn't want to know the answer.
I grimaced at the taste and then flinched in annoyance as my throat forced out the answer. "At the moment, it is both whatever is going on in Sirius' head and my unrequited love for you." My face flared brightly at the deep sincerity of my words. Her expression mirrored my own.
I'd told her that I loved her on many occasions, but I'd never had the balls to say it with any authenticity. She rejected me too much for me to bear it if she repelled the real truth, too. I averted my eyes, choosing instead to study my trouser leg, which had a mysterious stain lurking on the knee.
It surprised me that this dilemma with Sirius was such a huge concern, though. I suppose it wasn't really so shocking, though. I'd simply pushed it to the back of my mind and refused to confront it. It really worried me that he might be that way. Of course I would accept it, but it would just be so much easier if he would be normal for once in his life. I'd deal with those thoughts later, though.
Lily recorded my answer without comment and handed the next vial to Snivellus, whose fists were tightly clenched. I guess the exchange between Lily and I had bothered him. The thought made me snicker.
He drained it without comment and answered Lily stiffly. "The tasks that will be presented to me in the future make me most uncomfortable." The paleness in his face seemed even more pronounced after this declaration, making me highly suspicious of the meaning behind his answer.
I was unable to press him for details, however, because Lily quickly swallowed her own portion of the project.
"Lily," I asked, turning her name into a caress as I did so, "what makes you most uncomfortable?"
She took a deep breath before answering. "My relationship with my sister . . . and you, James." What did she just say? I thought in absolute denial - and utter ecstasy. I was so utterly flabbergasted that I was unable to respond. Instead, I stood there with my mouth gaping and watched as she jotted down her results and fled. I'd just resolved to go after her when the other occupant of the dungeons made his unpleasant presence known.
"Perhaps, Potter, you should quit trying to molest her in the corridors. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so uncomfortable," Snape snarled icily. I'd forgotten he was standing there.
"And maybe you shouldn't be training to be one of those Death Eater freaks. Then your tasks wouldn't make you so uncomfortable," I spat back, completely infuriated by his negative view of Lily's answer. I gripped the back of the nearest chair to ease the tension coiled in my muscles at the thought of speaking with this snarky bastard.
"Watch your mouth, mudblood lover. If you really think that's true, then I'd have the ability to permanently remove that smirk from your face." He took a threatening step forward to emphasize his point. I removed my hands from the back of the chair and gripped my wand in anticipation.
"Wow, Snivellus. Way to deny my accusation, you slimy git. I dare you to try."
He whipped out his wand so fast that I had no chance to deploy a shield against his shouted Sectumsempra. I cried out in pain when it sliced across the top of my shoulder. His face was black fury, and frightening in a way I'd never seen it before.
I decided that this was a confrontation best ended quickly, so I quickly yelled out a Petrificus Totalus and stalked out of the room. Once I'd removed myself from the wanker's immediate vicinity, I stopped to catch my breath and heal the cut as best I could. The bastard had gone pretty deep.
I probably should have thrown his frozen body into the lake, but it was time for dinner. Besides, as far as I was concerned, he'd just confirmed his status as one of He Who Must Not be Named followers. I had to inform my mates.
Dinner started out as quite the affair that night. James had come in with an infuriated, yet triumphant expression on his bespectacled face, Peter and Sirius looked oddly anticipatory, and Snape was oddly absent.
Before I could comment on any of these suspicions, James thundered his way over to our section of the table and promptly cast a discreet silencio. This was a technique we had perfected in third year in order to hold super secret (and utterly juvenile) discussions in the crowded Great Hall.
It took us a moment to adjust to the sudden ringing silence in our little bubble before James started his rant.
"Snivellus just admitted that he's one of those Death Eater creeps!" James said with a furiously proud look on his face. "I pushed him into it! He didn't even deny it! I knew that if anyone joined that band of fucking wankers it'd be him. He was probably first in line for signing up." He tapped his foot in extreme agitation while he waited for us to respond.
Sirius slammed his fists onto the table in outrage, but there was no surprise in his demeanor whatsoever. "I'm not shocked at all by that revelation, Prongs. He's a disgustingly greasy prat. That group would be just his type." Sirius was scowling mightily, though he seemed just as eerily triumphant as James.
I glanced across at Peter, who seemed just as uncomfortable in the direction this was going as myself.
"You know we have to do something about it," James told us conspiratorially, a slightly fanatical glint in his eyes. He leaned across the table towards Sirius and myself to emphasize his point. "We can't let that filth run rampant in our school. Think of how it could spread."
Sirius' head had been nodding along to James' every word. But mine was slowly shaking. "James, calm down and think about this for a minute. Why don't you tell us the whole story?"
After recounting the tale he seemed a bit less determined. Perhaps he'd seen the loopholes. "See, Prongs? He didn't deny it, but he didn't confirm it, either. It sounded to me like he was just agitated by your accusations. He played the card you gave him." The light in James' eyes was slowly dimming, for which I was grateful.
"Yeah, James," Peter contributed, "it would be mental to try and get mixed up in that, anyway."
James' eyebrows snapped into a scowl before he demanded to know just what, exactly, Peter meant.
"Well, I'm just saying, what if he was one of those - you know - followers? He'd probably be pretty ruthless." Peter seemed genuinely frightened by the prospect, something which I found odd. He didn't read the stream of stories that were constantly littering the Daily Prophet like I did. Perhaps his new friends were scaring him with stories of the Death Eaters?
"We could take them, though," Sirius said confidently. James nodded his agreement, although it looked like his momentum had been derailed.
"We don't need to," I reminded him. "We're students. There are people out there trained to deal with this stuff. And do you honestly think Dumbledore would be unaware of such affiliations in his own school? I don't."
"Yeah," James muttered. "You've got a point. Dumbledore would exterminate the infestation before it could spread," he agreed with utmost confidence. Sirius grudgingly decided on the same thing. Their utmost confidence in the Headmaster was inspiring at times.
We ate our food in pronounced silence before James perked up with a completely different light in his eyes. "Guess what, mates?" he asked.
"What?" Sirius responded dutifully.
James grinned before continuing. "The thing that makes Lily most uncomfortable is me. Can you believe it? Me! I make her the most uncomfortable! Well, me and her sister. But still! Isn't that smashing?"
I laughed delightedly while Peter and Sirius exclaimed over this.
"Does this mean she likes you?" Peter questioned.
"Well, yeah!" James cried exuberantly. "What else could it mean?"
"It could mean that your lecherous stares are creeping her out," Sirius suggested.
"Or that your constant harassment is disturbing her mental well-being," I added in.
"Or that you make her fear for her virtue," Peter chipped in.
"You are all damn wankers, you know that?" James asked with a dejected frown.
I took pity on him. "Or it could mean that you're finally getting to her and that it worries her deeply because it goes against everything she's been championing since first year. It's cause for a radical reassessment of everything she's believed, since her having feelings for you is something so foreign that she simply can't comprehend it." I nodded decisively after finishing this.
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "that would make you pretty uncomfortable." He grinned while he said it, but I could tell there was something more behind his words. Perhaps it had to do with his aforementioned longings? The look James gave him made me think so.
"Speaking of being uncomfortable," Sirius said meditatively, "what was that about me making Katie so uncomfortable?"
"It's really quite ridiculous," I began to inform him, before James cut me off with a loud guffaw.
"Wait, you mean Sirius makes Katie most uncomfortable? Is there competition for you, Moony my boy?"
"No, actually," I informed him dryly, "she actually said it was because of how he and I are together." I wasn't willing to divulge more than that without prodding. Especially due to recent James-induced events.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Peter asked suspiciously. I shrugged.
"Come on, mate. What's it mean?"
"Yeah, just tell us," James ground out as nonchalantly as possible. I was pretty sure that he had a good idea of what I was talking about.
I sighed, glancing at Sirius as I did so. He was oddly silent. They all were, actually. Even James had his hands and feet on flat surfaces, rather than tapping them across the ground. It was all unnecessary, though. I mean, this wasn't that big of a deal.
My stomach still clenched uncomfortably as I divulged the meaning of Katie's words. "Well, she just thinks we're really close, that's all." I said with a shrug, still unwilling to continue.
"Is that all?" James demanded. He wasn't going to let me beat around the bush.
"No," I said with a resigned sigh, "she's under the impression that we're a little too friendly around one another. That he and I have always been more comfortable with each other than any other Marauders - apparently it's something she and her friends noticed while she was crushing on me. And you know what she's implying, James. Don't make me say it." He snapped his mouth shut at my rebuke.
"It's all bollocks, though. He's just my best mate, that's all." I smiled apologetically at Peter and James when I said this aloud. I'd never had to before. It was just understood.
James was frowning thoughtfully, Sirius was staring at the table, and Peter looked completely unconcerned with the whole exchange. In fact, his attention was focused on the entrance to the Great Hall instead.
"James!" he cried gleefully, "dispell the silencing charm!"
"Why?" he asked in annoyance - but then he saw what had snagged the attention of Peter and now myself.
There was a stream of fluffy white mice descending on the occupants of the hall. And said occupants were not pleased to see them. Especially those of the female persuasion.
"Merlins beard!" James shouted with a laugh as he quickly brought down the spell. We were instantly barraged with the uproar of the Hall.
Many of the girls were shrieking and drawing their legs underneath them. Some were standing up on the benches to avoid coming into contact with the creatures. Even the boys were flinching away from the furry masses.
"What in Merlins name is going on here?" I demanded with a suspicious look at my fellow Marauders. James looked genuinely surprised - and delighted - Peter was having convulsions, and Sirius was laughing uproariously - though it seemed slightly subdued to me.
"Just look at them closely," Peter gasped.
I eyed them with a grin of my own, relishing in the chaos that had enveloped the hall. All the Professors had abandoned their meals in an attempt to quell the onslaught. Even Dumbledore hadn't taken the time to finish his cherry pie. He still seemed oddly amused, though.
I returned my attention to the critters scurrying across the floor as the teachers gingerly approached the center of the hall to better observe the situation.
"Dear Merlin, Albus," I heard Professor McGonagall cry, "are those shoe laces they have for tails?"
Dumbledore squatted down and scooped one of the mice up into his hands, examining the tail in particular. "Why yes, Minerva. I think we've discovered the Ravenclaws missing shoes." I began laughing just as hysterically as my fellows at the Headmasters revelation - though I refrained from falling off the bench as Peter and James had.
"I simply can not believe this," Professor McGonagall declared.
"Nor I, Minerva. But I think it's best to speculate later. Shall we?" She gave him a mute nod and raised her wand in time with him, casting an efficient spell to change the mice back to their intended shapes.
Once that was accomplished she and the Headmaster began a heated discussion. It likely consisted of Professor McGonagall demanding punishment and - by the look on his face - Dumbledore declaring that it was not possible. They had no proof of the perpetrators.
I turned towards Sirius, undiluted delight spread across my face, and raised an eyebrow at him.
He shrugged with an insolent grin. "It is our best subject."
I couldn't deny that. Still laughing, the other Marauders and I exited the Hall while the Ravenclaws collected their errant shoes. It was indeed an impressive feat - apparently done by not only Sirius, but Peter as well. James and I commended them both profusely.
When we reached the common room I was unsurprised by the questions thrown our way. However, this was a subject that we'd all decided to leave shrouded in mystery. So, we gracefully took our leave and retired to the dormitory.
It wasn't long before the buzz wore off and we became so bored with sitting on our beds that we decided to just call it a night. We all had our own private thoughts to entertain, anyway. James had Lily to think about, and for once it wasn't utterly unjustified. Peter had the prank to reflect on. Sirius was surely pondering Katie's ridiculous accusations.
As I myself was. It was beyond my comprehension that she would have such unwarranted suspicions. We were best mates! So what if we touched too much, like she had blushingly accused. Or if we were constantly telling each other secrets. We had a lot of mischief to manage, for Merlins sake!
And it really didn't matter that we looked at each other so much. We liked to speak with our eyes when we couldn't use our mouths. It's a best mates thing. I did it with the other Marauders too. It's just that Sirius is closest to me, that's all.
I shook my head at her outrageous declarations. I'd have to show her that I was utterly devoted to her in every way. I mean, what she'd stated was utterly unwarranted. I didn't desire Sirius in the way I'd already begun to desire her. So what if mine and his relationship was a bit more friendly than most other boys. We were just sure of our masculinity. That's all.
I resolved to let her see just how sure I was. It was nothing to worry about, anyway. So, I refused to think about it any longer, deciding instead to deal with it later. With a sigh, I rolled over and smashed my pillow over my ears, letting sleep claim me.
"Sirius, will you quit it?" I snapped for the third time.
I was laying on my bed attempting to revise my potions essay, which needed to be flawless if I wanted a good mark. However, I was unable to concentrate due to an incessantly annoying canine.
"I'm not going to stop, Moony," he said with a smirk, as he once again slid his hand under my shirt and up my back.
I groaned and buried my head in my hands. He was being infuriatingly distracting, and I had to get this done. I caved in and let him tickle my back for a few moments before I forcefully shoved him away. Now was not the time to get sidetracked by his antics.
"You know you enjoy it Remus." Well, I couldn't deny that, but I certainly wasn't going to admit to it out loud.
"I just really need to finish doing this essay, Sirius," I told him sternly. I needed him to back off. Otherwise . . .
"Alright," he said with a smile I could hear but not see, "I'll just sit here and wait for you to get done." Oh, joy. I wonder what he had in store for me? It didn't take long for my imagination to answer that question.
I snuck a glance at him out of the corner of my eye and groaned when I saw him. He was wearing that outfit. The tightfitting, leather, and oh-so-flattering clothing that he'd worn the night we pranked the Ravenclaws.
I forced myself to get back to my homework, but it was harder than ever to concentrate now that my groin was uncomfortably throbbing. Whenever he wore that outfit I had no control over the thoughts that plagued my mind, such as images of undressing him while he gasped beneath my lips. I shook my head determinedly and continued reading.
But then he casually stretched out next to me, with his face dangerously close to my own. I reread the same phrase three times before finally giving up and shoving all school related material off the bed.
"You want to know something?" I asked with a menacing growl as I shoved him onto his back and climbed on top of him. "You really piss me off. Like, a lot."
"I like to think that I simply heighten your emotions," he replied, watching me with that look in his eye that demanded immediate - and satisfactory - attention.
"I can't argue with that," I muttered, before pulling my shirt off and throwing it savagely aside. I watched in triumph as his breathing increased dramatically.
"Good," he said with an insolent grin, "because if you did, you'd lose." He flipped me onto my back and tossed aside his own shirt, casually rotating his hips into mine as he did so.
Any response I was about to formulate was forgotten as a pleasant ache began to blossom in my groin. I drew in a sharp breath and grasped the back of Sirius' head, forcefully pulling his face down to mine. Our lips met and our teeth clashed as each one of us struggled to overcome the other. He won, after I finally drew away, struggling desperately for air.
"You're a selfish git," I informed him through shuddering breaths while he nibbled his way down my neck.
He looked up at me with a wicked glint in his eye before slowly moving his lips down my chest. "I guess I'll have to work on that, then," he said with a smirk, "and start engaging in more selfless acts."
And, before I could say anything to dissuade him, he had my pants down and his lips, and tongue, and teeth, were there, and suddenly whether or not I finished revising that essay was not a concern.
I awoke with a gasp and a terrified gulp for air. What the hell was that?
Did I just . . . ? I thought, unable to complete the thought.
Me? About Sirius?
Dreaming?
No way. I looked down at the bulge in my boxers with absolute horror and complete denial before hyperventilating in utter panic.
It's not possible, I told myself. There's no way. The ache in my boxers protested vehemently.
Oh, Merlin. Oh, fucking Merlin, I thought in dismay. Does this mean that Sirius really did have those dreams on his own? Does that mean he likes me? Does this mean I like him? There's no way James would plant a dream again. Did that mean I'd dreamt this up on my own?
Wait, though. This dream was completely out of my control. It's not like I wanted to dream about Sirius. The thought was more repellant than double Potions.
But if James hadn't cast this one . . .
No, I in no way desired these fantasies. It must simply be some sort of unforseen backlash of James' foolish casting. Backlash. That was the perfect explanation. Maybe James hadn't planted the dreams in Sirius' head, either. Maybe Sirius had these dreams, too, because of Prongs' foolish pranking.
That made sense. Why else would I dream about Sirius? Or he about me, for that matter? So, in a roundabout way, it was James' fault that we were having these. That made sense. They were completely out of our control.
It didn't make sense that James would lie about casting the dream in Sirius' head again, though. Unless neither of them realized that this was simply an unforseen symptom of James' earlier antics. Maybe they'd both thought the dream to be real, and James had, out of loyalty, taken the blame for it to avoid any discomfort in the group. He was a good mate. The best.
Anyway, so what if the dreams were real. Neither of us wanted this. Sirius loved to shag, as he so often declared. And I was happily entrenched with Katie. These meant nothing. It was just a freak side effect of James' spell.
I accepted my explanation with utmost confidence, refusing to review things any further. It made enough sense to ease my aching mind. For now. Though my heart was still pounding and my breath was still gasping, I accepted my excuse wholeheartedly. It was easiest to deal with.
I looked down at my other aching body part with a grimace. Now what to do about this? I thought. Katie, I decided, feeling slightly dirty as I relieved myself in more ways than one to thoughts of her.