Ten minutes later, Mary Margaret followed Hannah into the loft. The child hadn't said a word since they'd left Granny's, even as Mary Margaret had tried to engage her in a conversation. Mary Margaret knew she needed to talk to Hannah about the time portal and leaving Granny's in the first place, and there had to be some sort of consequence for that behavior, but before she could address any of that, she needed to get Hannah to open up.
She watched the girl head straight for the stairs that would take her up to the second bedroom. "Come here, Hannah."
Hannah paused, though she didn't turn around or move closer to Mary Margaret. "I'm tired," she said quickly. "I just want to go to bed."
"Let's talk first, sweetie. Come sit with me."
Shaking her head, Hannah put one foot on the first step. "I don't want to talk tonight. I just want to go to bed."
She'd taken two steps when a hand wrapped around her wrist. She turned to stare at Mary Margaret in shock, having been convinced that her mother would back down and let her go to bed.
"No," Mary Margaret said firmly. "I am not letting you go to bed when you're clearly upset, and you know we have some things we need to discuss anyway. We are going to go sit on the sofa and talk."
Talking was the last thing she wanted to do, but Hannah allowed Mary Margaret to lead her over to the sofa. She figured the woman could make her sit there, but she couldn't actually make her talk. Hannah immediately claimed one end of the sofa, pulling her feet up and hugging her knees to her chest. She watched Mary Margaret sit at the opposite end, shifting so that she was completely facing Hannah.
Hannah was determined to force Mary Margaret to make the first move – she wasn't going to talk and that was that – but the woman seemed to be studying her intently and it unnerved Hannah. She tried to ignore it, to ignore her, but those warm eyes, so full of concern, were slowly chipping away at her defenses. "What?" she demanded, unable to take it any longer.
"I should have paid closer attention back at Granny's," Mary Margaret admitted, her voice heavy with regret. "I'm so sorry that I didn't, Hannah. I can see now how upset you are. Please talk to me."
"I'm sorry I disobeyed you," Hannah offered, staring at her knees.
Mary Margaret promptly shook her head. "It's more than that," she insisted. "I know you aren't just upset over a scolding."
It wasn't just the scolding, though Hannah had to admit that it affected her more now that Neal had been born than it would have before. It hurt, having that disappointed tone directed at her. She didn't know how to tell Mary Margaret everything that she was feeling, though. What if she thought it was dumb? What if she thought Hannah was just being a big baby?
"Hannah…" murmured Mary Margaret.
"I don't belong here," she whispered quickly before she lost the courage.
Mary Margaret's eyes widened drastically. "What on earth are you talking about?" she demanded.
"You already have a family here – you and David," explained Hannah in a strained voice. "You have Emma and Henry and Neal, and they all belong to both of you. You're all from the Enchanted Forest and you're all royalty. I'm from this world and the illegitimate result of an affair you never would have had if you hadn't been cursed. I don't belong. I'm just a mistake that came back to bite you in the butt."
Before Hannah could react, Mary Margaret was inches away from her and had Hannah's face cradled in her hands. "Hannah Victoria, you are not a mistake," she said forcefully, shocked over Hannah's revelation and determined to dispel those vile thoughts from her mind. "From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, I wanted you. I have always wanted you. I know that David isn't your biological father, but trust me when I tell you that he cares about you just as much as he does Emma and Neal. David, Emma, Neal, and Henry all want you here. You are every bit a part of this family." She watched several tears spill down Hannah's cheeks, and used the pads of her thumbs to brush them away. "You belong here, Hannah."
Hannah shook her head softly. "They hardly know me."
Mary Margaret released Hannah's face, but she stayed where she was, placing one hand over Hannah's. "It doesn't change the fact that we all love you. Hannah, you're a part of this family, forever."
The eleven-year-old mulled that over in her head. She wanted to believe Mary Margaret, but her experiences over the past six years made it hard for her to trust. "Even though I made you mad today?" she asked, her voice skeptical.
"Hannah, you didn't make me mad. You scared me. David went out to check on you and discovered you were missing. Although Zelena was no longer a threat, we had no idea what had happened to you or if you were all right. Then, I find out after the fact that you were in the Enchanted Forest for two days because you jumped into a giant, swirling vortex after your big sister? Just the thought of what could have happened to you in the past…" Mary Margaret paused to take a steadying breath. "I'll admit that I was upset – and disappointed in your behavior – but I was never angry at you, sweetie. No matter what you do, though, I am always going to love you."
"I'm really sorry for scaring you," Hannah said in a small voice.
Mary Margaret gently squeezed Hannah's hand. "I appreciate the apology. Let's talk about everything that happened today."
Hannah frowned. That was the last thing she wanted to do. "I think I'd rather we skip the talk and you just punish me."
"Oh, we'll get to consequences in a couple of minutes," Mary Margaret assured her, watching her daughter's frown deepen. "However, I need to understand why everything happened. Let's start with Granny's. Did you want to go outside so you could follow Emma?"
It occurred to her that Mary Margaret probably thought she'd never intended to stay inside the fence. "No. I just wanted some fresh air. I felt… I don't know."
Mary Margaret felt a shred of relief that Hannah had at least initially intended to follow directions. She had to admit she would have been more upset had she learned that Hannah had planned to leave the fenced area all along. "You felt how, Hannah?" she prodded.
"Angry…" Hannah admitted. "Sad… I wanted to scream and cry and break something and I felt like I couldn't breathe in there."
"You've become rather close to Emma," observed Mary Margaret. "Were you worried about her leaving Storybrooke?"
"Yeah."
"Is that the only reason you were feeling angry and sad?"
Hannah thought back to how she'd felt when she watched Mary Margaret with Neal. Yes, she was worried that Mary Margaret wouldn't have time for her or would decide she was too much of a burden, but it was more than that. When she watched her mother with Neal, Hannah was painfully reminded of the fact that the chance to be raised by her mother had been stolen from her shortly after birth. Neal would have all of these experiences with Mary Margaret that Hannah never would. She'd had many of those experiences with her adopted parents, and Hannah truly loved them, but it still hurt.
She didn't know that she could admit any of this to Mary Margaret, though, so Hannah shrugged her shoulders.
"You know," Mary Margaret said, "if you don't tell me, I can't do anything to help you feel better."
Hannah shook her head. "It's stupid."
"Try me."
Hannah shook her head again. She just couldn't bring herself to admit that she was jealous over an infant.
"All right," Mary Margaret relented. "I won't push. Just know that if and when you ever decide to share those feelings, I'll be here to listen."
She was relieved that Mary Margaret was giving her that small amount of space. "Thank you."
Mary Margaret offered a smile. "You're welcome. So, you didn't originally intend to follow Emma, but eventually you did. Why didn't you listen to Emma when she told you to go back to Granny's?"
"I didn't want to be at Granny's," Hannah said, opening up a little. She hoped the revelation wouldn't hurt Mary Margaret's feelings. "I wanted to talk to Emma. She… she always seems to understand how I'm feeling, sometimes when even I don't understand. I don't know how. Anyway, I felt like she was just shrugging me off, and I felt hurt, so I decided I was going to follow her until she had to talk to me."
She wished Hannah felt that close to her, but Mary Margaret was glad that Hannah had found at least one person she could talk to. Hopefully, over time Hannah would feel that way about Mary Margaret, too. "Can I assume that's also the reason you jumped into the portal after Emma?" She watched Hannah nod. "I understand that you didn't know it was a time portal, but you're a smart girl and you had to have known it probably wasn't safe to go near it. Wanting to be with your sister is not an acceptable reason to jump head-first into an unknown situation and put your life in danger, Hannah."
Hannah had expected more scolding, but she appreciated that Mary Margaret was no longer wearing her 'scary mom' face. "I didn't think about it like that."
"I figured as much. Why didn't you go with Emma to Granny's when you returned to Storybrooke?"
"I wasn't ready to go inside. I was on the patio, though. Emma practically dragged me there."
"And that's where your father found you?"
Hannah nodded. "He wouldn't let me stay outside."
Mary Margaret had to admit that from what she'd seen so far, Whale was taking this dad thing really well. He was interested in getting to know Hannah, and apparently he wasn't going to be a pushover. Thinking of Whale reminded Mary Margaret of Hannah's fibs. "When I asked you where you'd been, why did you lie?"
Hannah lowered her gaze to her knees. "I figured you'd be mad if you knew the truth."
"This won't be the last time you mess up, Hannah. You're going to make mistakes, and I'm here to help you through them, but I need you to understand that I will always be less upset if you're honest with me."
"Okay," Hannah agreed. A somewhat amusing thought came to mind, and she shyly tilted her head at Mary Margaret, hoping her mother wouldn't be upset by the small attempt at a bit of levity. "I won't turn into wood like Pinocchio if I lie, will I?"
The corners of Mary Margaret's mouth twitched in amusement. The conversation had been heavy for the both of them, and the realization that Hannah felt comfortable enough to make even a small joke warmed her heart. "No. You won't turn to wood." It was the opportune time to bridge over to expectations and consequences, and after a few seconds her expression grew serious, stirring up butterflies in Hannah's stomach. "I can guarantee you'll earn a spanking if you lie, though."
Hannah bit her lip. She hadn't really pondered how Mary Margaret would choose to punish her, but she was beginning to wonder if Mary Margaret had just inadvertently told her what it would be for that day's events. She'd been used as a punching bag recently and Mr. Flint liked to use whatever he had handy – his fist, a belt, once even a power cord, but she couldn't recall receiving a regular spanking since preschool. While Hook had swatted her in back in the Enchanted Forest, it had only been once, and with the exception of the Flints, her foster parents had tended to shy away from any sort of physical punishment. The thought left her nervous. She couldn't imagine Mary Margaret doing what the Flints had done, but still…
"Is that… I mean, are you…?" Hannah couldn't quite get the words out.
"I've thought about this a lot," admitted Mary Margaret, choosing her words carefully. She wasn't sure how Hannah would react. "I know you were in an awful situation before you came here where the people you should have been able to trust hurt you. I will never forgive myself for the fact that you had to spend even one second with them. The best thing I can do now is to raise you from this point forward, the way I would have done so if I'd had you all along, and I absolutely would have given you a spanking if you'd done something dangerous."
She couldn't deny that she was scared, but even if Mary Margaret were to hit her like the Flints had, she had also shown an overwhelming amount of love in the short amount of time Hannah had known her, and Hannah felt horrible that she'd worried and disappointed the woman. If this would wipe the slate clean so Mary Margaret was no longer upset, Hannah supposed it was worth the risk. "Okay," she whispered.
She'd expected much more resistance; she could only remember being spanked twice as a child and she'd thrown an outright fit over it both times. Mary Margaret wasn't sure whether to be relieved or concerned. Part of her wanted to talk further, but she had a feeling that Hannah would much rather get the whole thing over with. Scooting over just a bit, she gently patted her right thigh. "Come on over here," she said, her tone gentle.
Hannah slowly scooted off the sofa and moved to stand at Mary Margaret's side. She allowed her mother to guide her over her lap, her torso resting comfortably on the sofa. Despite the small comfort, she felt tense, and her chest tightened involuntarily.
Watching Hannah grow rigid, Mary Margaret immediately began to rub the girl's back. The poor child was clearly terrified. She wondered if she should just abandon this plan and come up with another consequence. She could ground Hannah for a week or two, but she wasn't exactly sure what she'd be grounding the child from at this point. She didn't have a TV or any other technology that could be used for entertainment purposes – Mary Margaret figured she'd have to fix that soon – and Hannah hadn't started school yet so she had no friends other than Henry. Mary Margaret couldn't very well restrict Hannah from spending time with Henry, as he was at the loft half of the time and he was family. Besides, she'd admitted to Hannah that this would have been the automatic consequence for such a situation had the child grown up in Storybrooke, and Mary Margaret couldn't walk back on that. She had a feeling that would be even more damaging to their already delicate relationship. No, she needed to do what she'd said she'd do, and prove to Hannah that she wasn't going to hurt her. "Deep breaths, Hannah," she murmured, her hand moving in gentle circles. "You're safe."
Having expected Mary Margaret to immediately begin swatting her, Hannah was surprised by the gesture. Closing her eyes, she worked on taking deep breaths as she'd been told, slowly feeling some of the tension melt away after a few moments.
"Much better," Mary Margaret praised as she felt Hannah relax a little. "I know you're anxious. This will all be over in a minute." Wrapping her left arm around Hannah's waist, both to keep her in place and provide comfort, Mary Margaret brought her hand down sharply on Hannah's bottom.
"Oh!" Hannah squeaked out. It wasn't the same as when Mr. Flint had hit her, but it still stung. At the second swat, Hannah pressed her lips together, determined not to make a fuss. She tried to focus on counting the swats in her head, figuring it would give her something else to focus on other than the growing sting in her posterior. The third swat elicited a soft whimper, and by the sixth swat, Hannah could feel the tears moistening her face.
After the tenth swat, Mary Margaret paused. Hannah was just barely holding herself together – she'd fought not to cry outright. It had always angered Mr. Flint when she made a big fuss, and he'd threaten to give her something to really cry about. Hannah couldn't understand why her mother had stopped, though. Was it over?
Mary Margaret rested her hand on Hannah's leg. "Tell me why you're getting a spanking, Hannah," she said softly.
Nope. Clearly not over. Hannah really didn't want to talk – she knew she'd start crying if she tried. She wondered if Mary Margaret would just finish things up if Hannah lay there silently.
After several long moments, she heard Mary Margaret's voice again, though this time it was more firm. "Hannah."
Hannah sniffled and willed herself not to cry. "I d-disobeyed you by leaving Granny's a-a-and I j-jumped into a portal aft-t-ter Emma and I l-l-lied t-to you about where I'd b-b-been."
"It is not okay to run off like that, Hannah Victoria. I need to know where you are at all times," Mary Margaret said firmly, punctuating certain words with sharp swats. She heard Hannah's breath hitch as the child began to openly cry and was half tempted to end the spanking right then and there. However, she knew she needed to finish making her point. It wouldn't help Hannah to stop prematurely. "You do not jump into unknown portals after your sister and you do not put yourself in dangerous situations. And, no matter what has happened, I expect you to always tell the truth. Do you understand me?"
"Yes!" Hannah choked out, nodding her head enthusiastically. "I'm so sorry…!"
Mary Margaret landed one more swat before stopping. At once she lifted Hannah and pulled her into her arms, holding the crying child close as she perched gingerly on Mary Margaret's lap. Hannah was still professing tearful apologies, but Mary Margaret just rocked gently from side to side, rubbing Hannah's back.
"Shhh," Mary Margaret murmured after a minute, when Hannah hadn't calmed at all. "You're okay. It's over now."
"I'm s-s-sorry…" Hannah sobbed into Mary Margaret's shirt.
"I know you are, sweetie. You don't need to apologize any more, okay? It's all over, and you're forgiven."
Hannah couldn't get a handle on her emotions. Her backside stung quite a bit, but honestly it paled in comparison to the pain she'd felt every time Mr. Flint had gotten his hands on her. Unlike at the Flints, however, Hannah felt incredibly guilty for having worried and disappointed Mary Margaret. Even though Mary Margaret insisted that she was forgiven, and that it was over, Hannah didn't completely believe it. Nothing had ever really been "over" or "forgiven" in her experience.
She just couldn't stop the tears.
"You know," Mary Margaret said softly as she continued to soothe her daughter, "I was a bit of a brat as a child. I was very spoiled, an only child, and my parents never did more than scold me. There was a woman who worked in the castle who was very close to our family, and who became a sort of mother figure to me after my own mother died. Her name was Johanna. I was only spanked twice as a child, and both times were at Johanna's hand."
Hannah was surprised by the unexpected peek into her mother's childhood. She sniffled, trying to get control of her tears so she could hear better. "I-I thought you had a stepmother… Regina…"
"Regina is my stepmother," agreed Mary Margaret. "I'm sure there were times she would have liked to have taken me in hand, but she wouldn't have dared upset my father, and she tended to avoid me when she could anyway. She blamed me for the death of her true love, and it was painful for her to be around me."
That was interesting, Hannah thought. She was torn between asking about Regina and asking about Johanna. Johanna won out. "J-Johanna d-d-didn't mind upsetting your d-dad?"
Mary Margaret shook her head, holding back a sigh of relief as Hannah's tears seemed to slow. "No. At least, it didn't seem like she did. The first time it happened, I'd left the castle to explore the surrounding forests without telling anyone I was going. I was just a little older than you, and it was easy to get lost in the woods. Johanna found me, and after hugging me tightly, she promptly found a tree stump, sat down, and tugged me across her lap." She chuckled at the memory. "I kicked and screamed like she was murdering me."
"What d-did your d-d-dad say?"
"He was away on a trip at the time. I told Johanna afterward that I was going to tell him, thinking I'd get her in trouble for daring to punish me. Johanna beat me to it, though, and though my father didn't punish me, of course, he did scold me for not telling anyone where I was going and not bringing someone with me. I was scandalized that he hadn't taken my side."
Hannah pulled back and wiped the moisture from her eyes. She offered her mother a small smile as she wordlessly handed Hannah a tissue. "Thank you," she said before blowing her nose. "What about the other time?
Mary Margaret smiled ruefully. "I was having a bad day and I took it out on one of the servants. Johanna didn't approve." Reaching out, she tucked a few strands of hair behind Hannah's ear. "How are you feeling?"
The sting was beginning to fade, just a bit, but she now had other discomforts. "My head hurts," she admitted softly, "and my eyes sting."
"That's not a surprise. If I cry a lot, I feel that way too. I've got something that will help. Let's go splash some cool water on your face first."
Five minutes later, Hannah was curled up on her side on the sofa, her head resting on a pillow on top of Mary Margaret's thigh. Her eyes were closed and covered by a cool, wet washcloth. She sighed when she felt fingers combing through her hair.
"How does that feel?"
"Better," Hannah murmured, feeling some of the stress and tension from the past few days melt away. The fingers continued to lightly comb through her hair, leaving Hannah feeling increasingly sleepy.
A key turned in the door lock not long after, catching Hannah's attention. She removed the washcloth from her face and tried to blink away the drowsiness as the door opened and the others filed in. David was balancing Neal and his diaper bag, Emma had an arm draped across Henry's shoulders, and Henry carried a plastic bag that Hannah suspected held ice cream.
"Neal fell asleep on the ride home," David told Mary Margaret as he gingerly set the bundled baby in the cradle.
Henry set the bag on the counter, and Emma immediately began to withdraw pints. "We couldn't decide on which flavor to get for each of you, so we picked up several," said Emma. "Cherry vanilla, rocky road, chocolate chip cookie dough, cookies and cream, and regular vanilla…"
"Thank you!" Mary Margaret said gratefully, offering David a smile as he leaned down to kiss her.
Glancing at Hannah, David couldn't suppress a chuckle. "It looks like someone's tired." He carefully perched himself on the edge of the coffee table so he could better see Hannah. Her blotchy face and red, puffy eyes didn't escape his notice. He and Mary Margaret hadn't had a chance to really discuss the matter privately, but he was fairly certain he knew what had transpired in the half hour they'd been getting ice cream. Not that he disagreed one bit – if he was correct in his assumption, he would have done the same had it been up to him – but he couldn't help feeling bad for the kid. She seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, and he only hoped that that weight would start to decrease now that Hannah had a safe, loving home with people who cared about her. "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but I'm really glad you're safe, Hannah. We were all so worried when we realized you were gone."
Hearing David say that he'd been worried made her feel bad. "I'm sorry about that," Hannah offered in a soft, sleep-laden voice.
"Just don't scare us like that again," he said, though his smile softened his words as he reached out to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "So, do you think you're awake enough for ice cream, or would you rather wait until tomorrow?"
Ice cream sounded yummy, and she'd half expected someone to say she couldn't have any that night because of how horribly she'd behaved so the offer was a pleasant surprise, but honestly Hannah wasn't sure she had the will to drag herself off the sofa. She was far too comfortable where she was. "I dunno."
"Hmm," mused Mary Margaret. "You look like you're about ready to pass out. Perhaps it's time for someone to head on up to bed?"
Hannah tilted her head so she could see her mother. "Do I have to?" she asked in a small voice, hoping Mary Margaret would relent and let her stay where she was.
The mother gazed down at her middle child, resting her hand on Hannah's head. "No. You don't have to go to bed just yet, but I do want you to go take a bath or a shower and get your pajamas on."
That still required getting up off the sofa, something Hannah wasn't keen on doing just yet, but she'd take that over having to actually go to bed. "And then I can lie down here again?"
Mary Margaret nodded. "And then you can lie down here again."