It is still dark as we run through the garden. Only the shimmering path lights guiding our way. The last few weeks have been peaceful. Christian and I have fallen into a comfortable routine. He is still struggling with control. He has not yet given himself over. It is a struggle he will face repeatedly. One I still know well.

Just as Hollywood has its award season, society has its fund raising season. My calender is full, so is Christian's. The next two weeks will be a flurry of activity.

The annual Coping Together masquerade is being held at the embarcadero with a Mardi Gras theme. I have coordinated the effort for Grace this year. Next year they will hold the party in Seattle, but they are barely settled in their new home. It was just easier to hire a large interesting venue here.

Grace, Carrick and Mia arrive on Monday, they have borrowed a yacht and are docked in the harbor. Christian is staying with them. He seems more at peace lately.

Janie arrives to dress me at four. I will be wearing a harlequin costume. Janie starts by dusting me with gold glitter. My makeup is deep and rich. Sparking sapphire over one eye, emerald over the other. Both lined with gold, extending into curly ques. Framed by outrageous dazzle eyelashes.

My sapphire and emerald mask a mirror image of my eyes, frames them perfectly. It molds seamlessly over the bridge of my nose and my cheeks. Leaving my gold painted lips perfectly showcased.

The costume itself, is a corset with a ruffled skirt. The diamond pattern continues the sapphire and emerald colors. The lace trim is black, I wear traditional ruffled bottoms. My legs are covered by fishnet stockings and gold high heeled boots.

As I look at myself in the mirror, Janie places a gold enameled collar around my neck and matching cuffs around my wrists. My hair cascades around me in a fountain of golden curls. A jesters hat looks precariously perched, but is secure. I take a deep breath, perfect, absolutely perfect.

As always it is a magical night. The embarcadero has been turned into a new Orleans street fair. There are band stands, food carts, street artists and side show acts. As always Grace and Carrick are the perfect hosts. Dressed as the King and Queen, they preside over the different acts. Strolling along mingling with their guests.

I watch as Mia pushes girl after girl into both Christian and Elliott's arms to dance. I find my self dancing with Carrick, I have danced with him often, it is comfortable. Both of us using it as a respite from the usual small talk. Neither of us speak.

Elliott cuts in. Although we have gone back and forth over the plans, finalizing our vision, I haven't seen Elliott since the incident. He whispers into my ear "Janie sent me a Jack Skellington costume. May I assume Sally will be accompanying me to the party in Michigan?" I giggle and blush. Elliott just has a way of making light of life. He always has. We finish the dance just holding on, quietly moving to the smooth jazz tones. I do not dance with Christian.

Then Carrick hosts the auction. Finally the fire works display. I am tired by the time I am back in the car. The goons managed to be discreet. I am glad to have them to a point. Shadowing me closely at events like this seem a bit much. But, I have promised myself I will behave. There are no leads on who destroyed my room.

I miss Linc desperately. Paisley Moore will send me her photos from tonight. I will put a thank you book together for Grace and Carrick. They are staying through the weekend to attend the Garden Ball. Hopefully I will be able to present it to them then.

To my beautiful wife

Caught red carpet images of you arriving at the embarcadero. You looked amazing as always. Sent Janie, a sapphire and emerald bracelet to thank her. You always make me proud. Home Saturday.

See you in my playroom,

Your enamored husband,

Linc

To my distracted husband,

I breathlessly, await your arrival. You know how I love to play dress up and you love my hair red . Wilma and Fred for the boo, Roger and Jessica for the Ball. Sweet dreams.

Hanging by the chain to your heart,

Elena

I wake early, stretching, this is one of the busiest days of my year. I pull on my sweats and Nikes. I miss Christian. The mud room door slams as I simply push past it already running. I fall into my stride. I love the simplicity of running. It's like the passing of time, or the flow of blood. Smooth, steady and rhythmic. A music all of its own.

The garden is almost ready. The riot of color, splashes of white opalescents, it will all shimmer in the sunlight, and cast an eerie glow under the black lights. It's part of the magic of today. The enchanted wonderland. Where statues of puppies and clowns, turn to gargoyles and ghouls. The giant sucker tree, where the children can choose from giant pinwheels of color, turns to grey barren branches waving ominously in the moon light. Watching night fall and the atmosphere change from the bright and cheery to dark and foreboding. It's a game of light and shadows.

Then I hear heavy footfalls behind me on the path. It is not the soft tread of bare feet. Crap, who the hell is in the garden. Damnit, I am not carrying a panic button. When will I learn to listen. Where are my goons when I need them.

I know this garden better than anyone, only Gideon is even close. I push my pace, looking over my shoulder, the footfalls are out of my sight. That's easily accomplished in this garden, there are no straight paths. Where? Think Elena, where can you hide in plain sight?

I am dressed in all tan, almost the color of my skin. Think, Elena, think. The tall grasses, I could easily disappear. How? how do I not give away my plan? I just keep to my run, just before the rose garden. I sprint, there are six paths leading to the small patio. If I can get through there unseen, I have a chance.

The heavy footfalls are still pacing me, not closing the gap, but not falling behind either. I run with everything I have left. I jump, grasping the arm of the bird feeder. I drop between two clumps of fountain grass. I lay flat, controlling my breath slow steady swallow. My lungs are screaming for me to pull large gasping breaths. Control, control, control, don't move, barely breathe, no sound.

Shit, the footfalls slow to a walk, he's circling the garden. Concentrate, don't move, don't breathe. Stay still, don't panic. Then it starts the sound of pounding water, the fountain garden that mimics the grass has turned on. It is 6:00 am. I lose the footfalls. The only good thing, I am now officially late. In two minutes, Izzy will hit the panic button.

A boot comes down on my back, as my braid is grasped at the back of my head. A hood is quickly pulled over my head. My wrists and ankles are zip tied. Don't fight, wait, find your moment, endure until escape. How many times have we done drills. This is it, Linc's worst nightmare, my fears personified, I try to relax, just hold on.

Then I am being hoisted, thrown over a shoulder. When I come down over the back. I really do relax, I know this body, I know it as well as I know my own. Linc! Home! Oh am I in real trouble! Keep the charade, do all that you have been taught. Do what is asked.

Linc is walking briskly through the garden, one arm across the small of my back, the other hand coming down over and over on my butt. He knows the game is over, and the real fun has begun. Linc is purposefully playing on my worst fears. He knows sensory deprivation is brutal on me.

We enter the house. Keep breathing, the air is limited, the hood is hot and dank. Panic keeps rising, I push it back. We're climbing the stairs, the first landing, stairs again, the second landing, then down the hall. Linc's playroom.

He folds my calves up, kneeling me as he rolls my body off his shoulder. My ankles and wrists are connected by another zip tie. Linc slides the panic button into my right hand. He plans to push me to safe out. It won't be overwhelming pain or pleasure that causes me to panic. It will be simple fear.

I hold as still as possible, not flexing, barely trembling. I feel him begin to cut my clothing away. He snips the front of my sports bra. I can feel it separating, slowly exposing me. I feel the crop run along the edge of my collar bone, down my sternum, the cloth finally releasing the nipple, the sting as the crop snaps across it. I jump pulling my shoulders releasing the other breast. The crop catching the nipple immediately. Then nothing. Still, quiet.

Breath, Elena, breath. It's only been seven minutes, breath. Damn him, Damnit Linc. I am trembling. Nine minutes. It's just nine minutes. Tears are threatening. I am not hurt. I am safe. I can be calm. I can repeat that mantra all I want. My mind understands, my body however has an entirely different reaction. Damnit Linc, eighteen minutes, my body is being wracked by silent sobs. I will not safe out, I won't.

Then his hands, are on me. He is massaging my breasts, pulling my nipples. His hands slide down my belly, pushing my sweat pants down around my knees. He clips the sides of my thong, completely exposing me. He runs his fingers along my labia, caressing me. Running the tip of his index finger over the sweet spot. Plunging into me, I arch and try to rock against his hand. I am pulsing and clenching around his fingers. Then they are gone.

Count, Elena count. Stay calm you can do this. Breath, breath, It's only been twelve minutes. I am shaking, racked with sobs, tears falling. My hand are flexing, I can't do this, at fifteen minutes, I tap the panic button setting off a yellow warning. The crop comes down on each nipple, up against my labia, then rains down several stinging blows on my ass. It pulls me back from the abyss.

Again nothing. The heat, is becoming more oppressive, more dank. I can barely breath. The fear, simple terror of the unknown silence. Five minutes, it's only been five minutes this time. I am shaking, sobbing, crying. Pushing down the panic, holding on. Breath, Elena breath, your safe. Relax. I can't. I can't catch my breath. Then I feel it, Linc sets something on each breast. There is movement soft ticklish, scuttling. One tiny prickle, then two. Hair dragging. Repeat. His pet spiders.

Then I am screaming. I am gone. Over the edge, I cannot maintain. I can't think. Why isn't it stopping I am yelling, red, screaming. It's trapped, trapped and muffled under the hood. I remember the panic button in my hand. I squeeze and hold. Red.

Linc pulls the hood from my head. The flashing red light is harsh on my eyes. Esmeralda and Sade are crawling over my abdomen. I am still screaming. He removes them as quickly as he can. But, I am still freaking out. Gasping for air, shaking.

Linc pulls me against his chest, kissing me. Holding me to him. Rocking me slowly. I am fighting his hold "Elena, let me cut the ties. Baby, please." I can't bring myself down. I can't calm, the sobs shake my whole body. I am still, screaming. The sound raw, so disembodied it echos through me. He manages to snip the tie that holds my wrist to my ankles. Linc tries to lay me on my side. I howl. He tightens his grip around me.

"Elena, baby, your okay. I've got you baby. Please Elena." Linc is begging me. "Breath baby, Elena, breath." The sound stops, everything is black and I am drowning.

Warmth, I am drifting back. Water laps at my legs, Linc's hand is gently washing my face. I lay across his chest held tightly in his embrace as the tub fills around us. My body is still racked by periodic sobs but they are subsiding.

Then Linc is kissing me. Running his hand playfully along my thighs. Down my legs, massaging the welts around my ankles. I simply float in the water over him. He pulls first one wrist then the other to his mouth, kissing licking and suckling the welts. I need to feel him. I need him filling all of me.

I pull me knees around him hovering, waiting. His hands find my waist. He pulls me down over him. Crushing me against his chest. He holds me there, simply joined to him. Not moving, simply clinging, one to the other. There are tears on Linc's face, I have never seen him cry. I trace the line up one cheek with my tongue. His eyes flutter shut and I kiss the lid. Then capture the last tear as it falls from his other eye tracing the line back down his face.

Maybe this is love.

Linc stands, never releasing his hold or his penetration. I pull my legs around his waist and rest my head against his shoulder. Linc carries me to his bed. Laying me at the end, he moves my legs from his waist to his shoulders, supporting my butt in his hands, my shoulders on the bed. He begins fucking me, long slow strokes. Watching my face, smiling. "Play for me baby play"

My hands find my breasts, massaging, kneading, pulling. my nails run along my neck over my abdomen. I am rising, I run my finger between us. Running my nail along his cock, as he thrust. Sucking the juices from my finger. I am panting I continue playing.

I push my already arched back higher. Pushing Linc deeper. He's kneading my ass, his nails are digging in, he is ready. I begin begging. Asking for relief, I need to cum and he needs my words. "Now" a fact, a statement, and a command. Growled as Linc thrusts and collapses over me. I explode on command, shuddering and whimpering into Linc's chest.

I love seeing all the kids in costume, trick or treating through the enchanted garden. Running laughing. They come from all sorts of challenges. Thirty charities and churches brought children today. This is my gift, the day I celebrate the children that I will never have. I send catalogs to the organizations. The kids pick their costumes, makeup artist are sent to each gathering site. A bus shuttles them here and back. It is a day they will never forget.

The gazebo has been turned into the wicked witch's candy house. Bread crumbs line the path, Hansel and Gretel, human statues, sit on a bench along the path. The treat must be taken from the oven. It looks hot and scary.

The pergola has been draped in spider webs, and ILM has been kind enough to provide some very spooky ghosts and very large spiders. Grab your treat from the skeletons hand, if you dare. After this morning I am avoiding the area.

We have the path to the pond paved in gold. Around a bend in the path the Medusa sits atop a large rock. At the end of the path a mermaid sits on rock just inside the pond. The mermaid throws treats to those who make it past the Medusa.

Twenty three stations in all. I think we have out done ourselves this year. Linc is hilarious as Fred Flintstone. Huge club, big feet that appear bare, and that yell "Yabba dabba do." I feel light hearted. The large white beads holding up my short white halter dress are fun to play with. My hair pulled in a bun. My feet actually bare. We stand near the exit, handing gift bags to each of the accompanying adults.

The last bus pulls out at 5:15 pm. The race is on. The caterer has arrived, the bar stations are being set up, the lights changed. One set of actors is leaving, another is arriving. I retreat to the sanctity of my closet, Janie is waiting. The best transition of the day, from Wilma Flintstone to Jessica Rabbit.

My hair is down, the way Janie pinned it this morning left the perfect waves. The red sequined dress, cut down to here and up to there, looks exactly like the cartoon dress. There is even extra built in boobs, and I am already ample. The long blue gloves feel elegant. Red crystal louboutin's, yum.

Linc comes in before putting his rabbit head on. He pulls me into my arms. Kissing me deeply, "you make me very proud, to call you my wife." His large rabbit paw reaches into the pocket of his ridiculous red overalls and pulls out a blue box. I open it. It is a heavy chain bearing a flat heart engraved, Roger Rabbit's Bunny. I squeal in delight, and hang it around my bare neck.

The gazebo looks like it is engulfed in flames. Melodic piano music resonates. It looks like a macabre music box. Couples dancing, spinning, the candelabra flickering. I stand on the balcony over looking the party. I needed a brief respite from the crowd. In five minutes I will start the auction. Take a deep breath, and now go. We are holding the auction on the lawn by the pond. Followed by a laser light show to classic Halloween music.

I will be acting as host and emcee. Linc's costume makes emcee duties almost impossible. He stands on the stage and yells "Help me Jessica" The spotlight finds me at the top of the path. I do my best Jessica Rabbit crooning "Why don't you do right" as I stroll down the path.

I take the stage to a round of applause. "Ladies and gentlemen on behalf of Edgar and Elena Lincoln, Roger and I would like to welcome you to the tenth annual Garden Ball Auction. Please be generous all funds go to Linc's for success internships." The auction takes a little over an hour and raises $750,000. We have indeed done well.

As the last car pulls away Linc takes off the rabbit head. He pulls me against him and kisses me. I know what's next, he's leaving me. I can feel it, I know him too well. "Baby I fly out at sunrise. I'll see you soon. I promise." He's kissing me again. His hand squeezing my ass through the high slit in my skirt. It will be Thanksgiving in Stockbridge, before I see him again.

I wander back towards the house as Chance pulls away with Linc. Someone is playing the piano in the gazebo, the music sad, dark, heavy. The faux flames have been extinguished, the lights are low. The shadows dance, the young man at the piano is lost, the music moving him. Christian, he has stayed. The Grey's set sail for Seattle in the morning.

I am quiet as I enter the gazebo. He is dress all in black, even his face is darkened. When I asked earlier what he was, the answer was simple. "Just a shadow." What a long journey this young man faces. Will he ever feel solid? Whole again? Has he ever?

The piece ends. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss his head. He turns his face up to me, I kiss his forehead. "You look amazing tonight." He whispers.

"Play more for me please." It's just more than a breathy whisper. I lay across the piano lid, and let the music take me into the night. The whole experience of it. The sound, the vibration, the cool night air. Then it stops. He is standing just staring down at my face. My head thrown back, eyes barely open, fingers tracking over my body, in a world all my own.

"Elena, I need..." He can't finish the sentence. I pull myself up. Sitting at the edge of the piano I pull him into me, my arms around his neck. I kiss him, it is long and lingering. "What do you need, Christian?" I kiss him again letting him lead. "You Elena, just you." His smile is contented. His arms rest around me, locking us together.

The fund raiser in Michigan is a costume party. It will be my first trip back. Linc is pushing me to cancel. I will not. Elliott and I are making the trip. It is an in and out day, we plan on being on the ground for five hours, that's it. It's a sixteen hour day, doable.

It's an early morning, I drag myself from the warmth of my bed before 4:00 am. I run alone, I need the peace, the space to quiet the screaming in my head. I crest the ridge, and head down the path through the pergola. She stands at the foot of the path, her ears perked, looking for the footfalls, snout flared testing the air for my scent. Her large brown eyes find me as I stop astounded. We stand there neither of us moving, our eyes locked, our breath held. Then she looks away, turns and walks across the path. She walks gracefully, into the clearing by the pond, then bounds, out of sight. A doe, a female mule deer, the first I have ever seen on our property.

I cannot move it takes several moments to regain myself. The memory overwhelms me. I sit trying to catch my breath. Why today? Is it an omen, should I listen to Linc and cancel? I walk slowly back to the house, simply contemplating today.

Christian, is waiting in the kitchen garden, pacing, a concerned look on his face. It is 5:13 I am late. I had intended to be back at 5:00 and send him on his run. But, then there was the doe. I kiss Christian, "Sorry, have a good run. I'll explain later." The disappointment evident in his face.

I shower, I am trying to make up the time. But time isn't like that. It has its own pace, it's own beat. Steady, unforgiving. Janie and an artist are waiting in my closet. Janie hands me a one piece white body suit. Then starts to explain the plan for painting me. We will be working both here and in flight.

I turn myself over to their handling. I can not shake the memories of the two does. I have a sense of foreboding. Deep breaths, this is important. The $150,000 check from Lincoln Lumber and Grey construction will be the biggest contribution tonight. It's a simple community fund raiser. A spaghetti dinner, silent auction, games and treats for the kids. Simple community, is there really any such thing?

"Wheels Down in Troy" we land twenty two minutes ahead of schedule. Damn time, just Damnit. Why can't the schedule work today. I need the control that time and schedule bring. Deep breath and hold. Relax slow, exhale, breathe again, again.

I stand in front of the mirror, I know the image my body presents is Trompe L'Oeil, but, still the stitch lines appear raised. My skin is a grey white, I am smudged and gritty looking. I look like a patch work doll, that's been torn apart and resewn, one to many times. I feel the way I look.

My red hair is straight, it appears stringy, and grungy. Pale blue eyeshadow, on eyes that appear to large for my face. stitches across one eye, stitch lines extending from each corner of my mouth. Janie pulls the brown patch work dress over my head, and slides soft brown suede ballet flats on my feet. I have never looked or felt so tattered.

I turn to see Elliott standing there, his jaw slack, staring. He is built perfectly to play Jack. Broad shoulders, thick chest, thin waist, narrow hips, and very long legs. His tuxedo, pinstriped, the chest opening is tight and open too wide. The large bat bow-tie, frames his chin. His hands have been painted, so they appear skeletal. He has his Jack Skellington head tucked under his arm.

"Elena, you look..." He can't find the words. I don't think this is the Sally he expected. I always play the vamp, this is nothing like that. "Unexpected" I throw out. It breaks the tension. I laugh, it's a nervous laugh.

The first thing to run on schedule, the car arrives at exactly 7:35. We arrive at 7:55 and are escorted in through a back door. The event is being held in the gym of the north end high school. The first fund raiser where I spoke was here, the the Halloween Smash twenty two years ago. I am going to make the same speech tonight.

Ted Peppier, is making an introductory speech. Talking about all the programs the club offers. How this night makes a huge difference. Then he is introducing us "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Jack Skellington and Sally, also known as Elliott Grey and Elena Lincoln."

This is one of the reasons I like local events. All of the activities are at the beginning. People can leave as they please. We will be out in three hours. I step to the microphone. "First, on behalf of Lincoln Lumber and Grey Construction, I'd like to present you with a check for $150,000 to update the technology in your mentoring program. Second, the silent auction will help fund the gymnasium activities and organized sports. The items include..."

Spaghetti, garlic toast and green salad. Standard fair, whipped up by the local fire fighters. A local radio station is sponsoring the event. The DJ is up beat, the music classic rock and oldies, it is actually a relaxing trip down one of my few good memory lanes.

Neil Diamond is playing as Elliott pulls me onto the dance floor. We dance several songs before a man dressed a Zorro taps on his shoulder to cut in. I go willingly into the man's arms. As he pulls me in he whispers "Would you like to go to the park with me?" I freeze, a scream is lodged in my throat.

The man is being ripped from my arms. I hear the unmistakable sound of flesh and bone, meeting flesh and bone. The sound of bones breaking. The scream of pain. Elliott has the man by the throat, he is yelling "feel all high and mighty now?" He is about to swing again when the mask slips, it is a young man. There is no way he ever attacked me. I scream and dive between them taking the brunt of Elliott's punch in my ribs.

The three of us are sprawled on the floor when the officers reach us. They separate us. Is this day going to get any worse. Three hours later we are all at the hospital. The officers have taken our statements and have decided to let the prosecutor sort it out.

What a nightmare. Zorro, actually David, does special telegram delivery. He was told it was an inside joke. That I might slap him but that I would laugh it off. This poor young man, his nose and cheek bone are broken. I have arranged for him to receive whatever medical care and reconstructive surgery he needs. We will workout a settlement later.

Elliott's hand is broken and so are three of my ribs. The body suit Janie put me in kept everything in place. We will be in the air in four hours. Only nine hours behind schedule. Will this never end. Both the police and my security believe this is related to the previous attack on me. I want this over. But, I will not run.

To the man who chains my heart,

Delayed in Michigan. Again a Gray male quick to settle things with his fist. Very long story. Ask security and Leo. Police may have a lead in my attack. Three broken ribs, limping home again. Thank you for the garden parties.

Your battered and broken wife,

Elena

To my wife who is beautiful even when she's not,

What an amazing choice of costume, so unlike you. Glad I received images from Janie before I got images from Charlie. Have already been briefed, private investigation ramped up. You will be receiving a new panic button wear it always. Please, I could not bare to lose you.

Holding your chain grasped tightly with both hands,

Linc