They walked in silence and she followed him, having no clue where they were going. She opted to stop asking, he wasn't going to tell her. It was getting colder the longer they walked, their breaths visible now but he kept walking.

"You're on a mission." She teased quietly.

"Hush." He smirked, "There's no turning back now, love."

"Can you just tell me where we're going?"

"Nope."

"I will turn around right now."

"Swan, I'll chase you down."

"Determined." She said softly, nudging his arm with her ice cold fingers. She wasn't expecting it, she should have been, he grabbing her hand and just held it. She let him, she should've pulled away, but she let him hold her cold fingers in his. Stop leading him on.

"So, what? Are you going to take me to a dark alley and murder me?"

"Probably."

"Oh."

"I'm obviously kidding, Swan."

"Surprising."

"You grew on me." He winked at her and she laughed softly, "We're almost to our destination."

"Wonderful."

"Have you ever been to this part of Storybrooke before?" He asked and she shrugged. Honestly, she's never really walked around and explored everything the town had to offer, it was bigger than she thought.

"Nope. This where the druggies go to have fun?"

"No." He smiled, "Did you brush your hair before you left?"

"No, why?" She asked, "Afraid to be seen with me Jones?"

"Nope." He said softly, reaching over to fix a piece of hair that fell into her eye, "careless looks good on you."

"Shut up."

"When do your parents come back?"

"Today." She said softly, "Should be home around six…"

"Where did they go?"

"Ruth. My dads mom."

"So your grandmother."

"Yeah…" she said softly, "She's nice."

"I'm sure she is."

"Seriously we're in the middle of nowhere" She stopped walking, not a house in sight, she didn't know where they were. Fields on either side of them. He tugged her forward.

"I promise, we'll be there soon."

"Yeah well, we better be. Whatever you're showing me, it better be good."

"It is." He smiled, "I'm surprised your phone's not blowing up."

"They were pretty out when I left."

"Good. Maybe they won't interrogate you."

"You know, I can't sneak out with you all the time, right?" She said, "I have a kid."

"He can come."

"Hey, no. Don't teach my son that stuff."

"I don't have to, look at his mother." He said, "your mother told me things about yoooou."

"Great."

"Very entertaining." He laughed when she rolled her eyes.

"Just because I did it, does not mean Henry can."

"He won't see it that way."

"I'll make him." She smiled. It was quiet again as they walked, her hand still in his, oddly comforting despite the urge to pull away clawing at her insides. She was surprised he wasn't teasing her about it as they walked. They approached a gated area, large curvy gates with a sign in front of it, scratched, she couldn't read it.

"Wha-"

"Shush." He released her released her cold fingers and she shoved them in her pockets. Before she asked what he was doing, he pulled the gate open and motioned for her to go in.

"Uh-"

"Swan, have a little faith." He said, grabbing her and pushing her in, she gave a soft yelp.

"What is-"

"A park."

"Wow, Sherlock Holmes over here." She said sarcastically. He shrugged

"Come along."

"Why is it so secluded?"

"It's old." He said as he walked, "Come come, time's a wastin." She shook her head and followed. It looked like something out of a horror film, broken seesaws, Merry-Go-Round sinking into the ground, abandoned slides and tall, tall grass.

"This is...unsettling."

"I find it fascinating." He smiled, "And to add to your uneasiness, we're next to a cemetery."

"Wonderful." She sighed, "Why are we here?"

"Do you not find this interesting?" He asked, taking a seat on a swing. She was quietly hoping it would break. She bit her lip and sat on the swing next to him.

"It is." She said softly. "Why couldn't it wait?"

"Welp, we have something to talk about."

"Please don't." She whispered it, she knew what he was referring to and she didn't want to hear it. He looked at her, a smile on his lips.

"You always assume the worst."

"I do not." She said softly.

"You do." he leaned over, "Swan look at me." She looked over, "I know what you think this is. I did not bring you all the way here to beg you for something more than what we have now."

"You didn't?"

"No." He sighed, "I'm a patient man, however, I will say this."

"Oh god."

"Before you tell me, you don't feel the same way, remember, love. You kissed me, twice." He shrugged, "Explain that one."
"It was the wine."

"Was it?" He asked softly and she sighed. She knew damn well, she would have done it if she were sober that night when the power went out. It was all her, not the drinks. She didn't answer.

"It's okay to admit you feel something. I won't advance this further even if you do. Just know that, from here on out it's your move." She swallowed, her mouth and throat suddenly dry and she couldn't speak, her hands folded in her lap. She bit her lip, it was so cold out tonight and it was late. She couldn't give him an explanation, she couldn't admit anything, not right now. Not with Neal lurking in every corner, occupying the spaces in her head.

"I should go." She whispered and went to get up, but he stopped her and she sat back down.

"Love, you'll get lost without me." He said softly and then went into a different topic of conversation, knowing full well she wouldn't give him anything right now.

They talked for a long time, she told him stories about Henry when he was a baby and she told him about the night she told her parents she was pregnant. Completely breaking down in front of them because she got used to living with them and she was scared they'd give her back to the system or kick her out. He pointed out the constellations and told her what each one meant, the stories behind them and she didn't question how he knew it, just listened as he went on and on.

She thought about how easy it would be, to just let this happen, let them be something. But she liked the friendship they were creating a little too much and she couldn't let anything mess it up. Plus, she wasn't sure she could handle the ghost of Milah draping herself around his shoulders. Hovering like some dark cloud over him.

As he walked her home he asked a question.

"Has Neal tried to talk to you since…"

"No." She said softly, "Ruby keeps telling me to forget him."

"You're not thinking about...reaching out are you?" He stopped walking, halfway home and freezing, it was four in the morning now.

"It couldn't hurt." She said softly and the look on his face, she couldn't read it.

"Emma, it could very well, hurt."

"Killian."

"Emma."

"He came back, he's reaching out, what am I just supposed to do, ignore him?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "Swan, you do remember what he did to you, right? Or did you hit your head?"

"I remember." She shifted, "what if he's different?"
"He's not."

"How do you know?"

"People like that don't just change, Emma." He snapped, his voice taking an unfamiliar edge, she stepped back and he sighed, "please, don't go to him." His voice was gentler now.

"I can do what I want."

"Why do you want him?"

"Killian…"

"It's a simple question."

"It's not and you know it." She was getting angry now, who the hell did he think he was? Telling her what to do like she was his?

"He'll hurt you again."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"How?"

"My father was Neal." Not literally of course, a version of Neal, a carbon copy but not, at all, the same person. She didn't understand what he meant. "You think it's just one time. One mistake. And then he does it again."

"Wha-"

"He used to just hit my mother. Beat her until she's bloody, and then she died, lo and behold, Swan. He had two sons, two boys who bruised easily." He shrugged, "He'll tell you he's sorry, he's not, he'll tell you he loves you, he doesn't. Listen to me, Swan, listen when I tell you don't go near that man."

"He wouldn't-"

"Alright, so you're okay when he hurts you. Fine." He shrugged, "But what's going to happen when Henry is old enough to understand and he tries to fight back? Get him off you. Neal shoves him, maybe punches him to shut him up, you okay with that, Swan?"

"Stop." She whispered.

"I'm just telling you what's going to happen. What's likely to happen. I don't know, maybe you're right. Maybe he saw the light, is a changed man." He shrugged.

"You don't have any right to tell me who I can talk to, or be with." She said softly, "I'm not yours."
"No, but you could be." He said softly, "At least that's what I want. I don't know what you want, you won't tell me."

"I want.." She whispered, swallowing, the words about to leave her lips would probably kill him. Right now she didn't care, "I can't be with you."

"Because of Neal. He has this hold on you, this tight constricting hold on you." He sighed, "One day he's going to squeeze too tight and kill you."

"You talk about Neal having a hold on me, but what about you?"

"What?"

"Milah." She said softly, Too much, Emma, too much.

"Why are you bringing her into this?" He asked it so softly, she hardly heard it. She was about to hurt him, beyond words.

"She has her hold on you too. And I get it, she's dead and it's hard to let go of her, but Neal's not dead. He's here."

"Emma."
"She's all over that house, Killian. She's around you. Always in your head, hanging over you like a cloud. I can't...I can't be Milah I can't do it, I can't."

"I'm not asking you to-"

"That drawing, you expect me to believe that had nothing to do with your want to get to know me? Even Milah was involved in that, she's everywhere. You can never have her back, and I am beyond sorry for that, but Neal is here I can have him back…"

"I'm sorry my dead wife is too much for you, Swan." He said softly, "Is too much of a burden for you, I can't even find the words for how sorry I am, my grief is too much for you." He turned away from her and started walking, it was almost like he wasn't here anymore, eyes set ahead and not looking at her as he walked away.

"Killian." She called for him, immediately sorry she just did that to him. He kept walking. She couldn't move from her spot on the street.

She didn't go home until six thirty, her mom unpacking her suitcase in her bedroom and looking up when she came in.

"Emma?" She asked rushing over, worry on her face the second she saw the state she was in.

"Mom." She whispered. She was thankful her friends were still asleep. She was shaking as her mother sat her down on the bed, trying desperately not to break and crumble because unlike before, Killian couldn't and wouldn't fix her this time.