Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.
CHAPTER TWELVE
(JPOV)
Patrol had run longer than expected and seemed to tediously tick by at an agonizingly slow pace. The day dragging on instead of flying by the way I hoped it would. The first shift was bearable but the second and third shift sucked. Paul had taken over for Embry, Brady and Collin.
Seth normally took second shift for mid day patrol runs with Paul, but he was absent from it on count of having a dentist appointment. It had slipped my mind that he would be missing until I reached the lumber yard and did a head count.
"Shit..."
"What?" Paul replied. "Where the hell is Seth?"
"He's not running patrol today. I forgot Collin is taking his shift later. I'm covering the first half."
"Lucky shit. That's the second time in two weeks he's ducked out. What gives?"
"Dentist appointment with Sue." I replied.
"Whatever." He huffed angrily.
"So when do you need me back to cover?" Collin asked.
"Around three. Thanks for taking some of Seth's run."
"No problem. See you later." He replied when he turned to head away from us. Brady trailing fast behind him.
I knew the day was headed south fast, shortly after we had run the border. Paul's thoughts loud and angry when we stopped by the river for a drink.
"Seth needs to step up more. You take it easy on him a lot."
I snapped my head up, his irritating comment catching my attention. "What the hell are you talking about? He pulls his weight around here. You're just pissed about having to get your ass outta bed earlier. It's one day Paul. Deal with it."
"You take it easy on him cause you banged Leah. It's favoritism and it's BULLSHIT." He huffed.
I caught his eyes with mine and stalked toward him. My patience slipping with his blatant disrespect lately. "Not that I owe you any kind of explanation, but Seth covered for you three times last month. All because you were too fucking hung over to see straight! So that's a load of shit and you know it. Don't push it, Paul."
"Or what?" He snapped, stepping up to me.
"Or I'll remind you where your place is." I sharply countered.
He kept his brooding stance a bit longer before backing up a few steps, and going to the river for another drink. I watched him intently as he went, feeling the superior spirit loom over me.
Paul hadn't been the same since I'd come back home months ago. He was known for his cocky comments and occasional vague arrogance, but this level of hostility and disrespect was at a new low. We had formed a better bond when he took off with me but when shit went south with Sam, that drastically changed. I can't say that I blame him for being angry with me. What I had done was wrong and Paul didn't like following anybody's orders. That was just the way he was.
The rest of the run went better, simply because he shut his arrogant mouth along the way. Keeping his thoughts quiet. When we reached the town line toward the evening, Paul ended his silence.
"You don't get it do you?"
"Get what?" I replied, a clear edge to my tone.
"How this looks to Sam."
"That doesn't excuse your shitty attitude lately?" I retorted, running a few strides ahead of him.
"FUCK YOU"
I came to an abrupt skidded stop and whirled around to meet him face to face, causing him to halt before me. The dust flying around us in response to our paws digging harshly into the dirt below.
"You got something you wanna say? Fucking say it, Paul. I've put up with this shit from you for weeks now and my patience is running out."
Paul looked to hesitate at first. His eyes dropping to the dirt below us and his angry demeanor faltering when he heard my tone, a loud huff now coming from him. "It was Sam's role. He gave up everything to be Alpha and you took that from him. I get that it's in your blood. That it's your birthright. But you crossed a line Jake! Just isn't fucking right!" He spat coldly.
I shook off the guilty feeling and took another step toward him. Bringing us nose to nose. "You don't think I don't know that? Huh? You think I wanted to take that from him the way I did? Do you REALLY THINK I don't hate myself some days for ripping that right away from him? You don't think I care about what this is doing to Emily? But that doesn't give you permission to be a jackass and forget your place. I am your Alpha now. And I expect you to remember that."
He huffed once more and lowered his head. His words not lost on me, knowing that despite the immense guilt I felt, I had to stand my ground with him.
Darkness soon threatened to fall upon us and I was more than ready for the day to be over come dinner time. Collin, Brady and Quil showed back up on schedule and took over for us so Paul and I could go home. Neither one of us spoke when we phased within the cover of the trees behind my house and parted ways. His words still weighing heavily on me as I quickly showered and dressed for dinner at Bella's. My father took notice of my somber mood when I helped him in the truck.
He voiced his concern when we reached the first stop light in town. "Son- something on your mind tonight?"
I remained silent for a moment while continuing to mull over what Paul had said on patrol. My gaze fixed on the red light in front of us.
"It's nothing." I sighed, hitting the gas when the light turned green.
"Don't give me that. I can see something's bothering you. Everything okay with you and Bella?"
"Yea... She's... perfect. We're fine." I replied, glancing over in his direction to see his well knowing eyes already observing me.
"So what is it?"
"Pack stuff... Paul... mainly."
"Oh I see. He's a handful that one." He chuckled.
I nodded in agreement. "His shitty disposition gets old. He doesn't accept what I did."
"He doesn't have to. You're his Alpha. He needs to remember that and he'd be wise to be mindful of it."
"It's not that damn simple."
"Sure it is. He will have to get over it. You made a mistake and he, of all people, should understand that. He's made enough personal mistakes in his day."
"I know but-"
"No- no buts. He will learn to respect you or you'll need to remind him to."
We pulled into Bella's driveway and I noticed immediately that her truck was missing. I glanced at my watch, seeing the time and finding it odd she wasn't home yet.
"Where's Bella?" Billy asked when I wheeled him up to the house.
"I'm not sure." I replied, an uneasy feeling settling over me.
Charlie met us at the front door. A worried expression on his face and one that I took note of. My father handed him the six pack of Bud Light he had brought over for the game.
"Ready for tonight's win there old man?" Billy Joked.
"Yea, we'll see about that." Charlie sighed.
"Say Charlie... where's Bella?" Billy asked.
"Oh she should be coming right along." He replied, his eyes meeting mine briefly before joining Billy for the game.
I reached in my Jacket, searching for my phone and dialing her before he even sat down in the living room, a disquieted feeling welling up from within me. It rang and rang and soon went to her voicemail. I clenched my free hand into a fist. My mind beginning to wander and causing my worry to grow by the minute. No matter how I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling. Something about the way Charlie looked had me concerned for her.
"Damn it." I cursed under my breath, calling her again and hoping she would answer but it went to voicemail. The many minutes passed as I paced the kitchen floor, glancing out the window every now and then. My ears tuned into every car that drove by and inevitably passed.
"You're gonna wear a hole in my floor." Charlie chuckled, coming in to retrieve another Bud Light.
"I might." I told him. No evidence of laughter in my tone.
Charlie paused and reached back in the fridge for another beer, offering it to me. "Hey... She'll be home before too long. Come watch the game."
"I'll be in soon." I replied, my eyes meeting his before checking the window once more.
I heard Charlie pop the top on the Bud Light and slide it across the counter to me. "Well... here... till then."
"Thanks."
He took his beer and headed back in to watch the game. Billy cheering loudly over the game as I leaned against the counter. My hands curling around the wooden edge and hearing the wood strain in response. I drew in a deep breath and tried to cool it. But the unease within me made that hard to do. Call it intuition... call it imprint... whatever it was had me on edge.
Headlights suddenly gleaming in through the window caught my attention, seeing her now pulling in the driveway. I went out the front door to greet her. Wanting to see with my own two eyes that she was safe and in tact. Relief flooded through me when I saw her come around the truck, her hand clutching her keys and a large bag of cookies.
I couldn't help the smile that spread to my face when her eyes caught mine. I watched a genuine smile come to her face. Her eyes lighting up anew when she approached me, hugging me immediately. There was an urgency in her embrace I could not ignore.
"I love you." She said softly to me. I tightened my hold on her and thanked whoever was watching from above that she was home.
"I love you, too honey."
"I'm sorry I'm a bit late." She sighed, offering me the bag of cookies Emily had sent.
"Everything went ok?" I asked, seeing her eyes avoid mine and knowing she was struggling with herself to tell me something. I bit my tongue and waited as she moved herself closer to me.
"I'm late because I took Sam home."
My heart lurched itself into my throat when she said this. My uneasy feeling now explained.
"What? By yourself?"
"I know you're probably upset with me but-"
I pulled her to me and kissed her. My head full of the fifty fucking ways this night could have gone so wrong.
Sam was a ticking time bomb, never thinking before he acted these days. The thought of Bella being anywhere near him when he should decide to lose his shit again, had my insides crawling and my chest tight with worry. As it was, I had Quil and Embry doing regular runs by their house just to check in for Emily's sake alone. Sam knew nothing of this and I planned to keep it that way. On more than one occasion, Emily had called Billy in the middle of the night crying because of some drunk bender Sam had gone on. His words always loud and harsh with her. I wanted to right my mistake and fix the mess he was now. I just had no idea how the hell to do so.
"I'm not upset with you. I just worry. There's a difference, honey. What happened?" I asked, my tone low with her.
"Charlie Called me when I first got home and told me he was looking for you, because Sam had been arrested for being drunk and disorderly earlier tonight. I knew you wouldn't be back yet, so I drove in town and bailed him out. I just finished dropping him off. He's with Emily now."
"You paid his bail?"
"Yeah." She sighed.
I knew her heart was in the right place. It always was and I loved that about her, but I was disappointed in myself for not being there. I should of been the one to bail his drunk ass out. It wasn't her responsibility. It was mine.
"I should've been there. Was he rude?" I asked, my eyes searching her own and seeing the answer there in them without words. "I'll pay you back. Every cent."
She shook her head. "No, it's okay. He's home now and at least Emily won't be worried. She doesn't need that right now. Don't worry about the money."
Her understanding astounded me, making me feel grateful for her acceptance with all this. "I don't want you to feel responsible for cleaning up my mess."
She raised her hands and cradled my face. "Our mess. Remember?"
I nodded to her and kissed her gently on the forehead. It was moments like this that made me love her all the more. Moments like this that made me thankful for who she was.
My father greeted us with a wide smile once we were through the front door, noticing the cookies in my hand.
"I see Emily sent something home with you?" He asked as I tossed him the bag. My father had always loved Emily's cooking, along with just about everyone else on the Reservation. She was well known for it.
"She did and she said to be sure you all enjoy them." Bella replied.
Charlie dug in and they soon went back to cheering for the game and arguing over who they thought were the better players.
Bella busied herself in the kitchen with digging out dishes for dinner. I followed her in and couldn't help but steel a glance at her beautiful backside as she reached up into the cupboard. My eyes trailing down to her legs. I bit back a groan and ached to be alone with her. It had been too damn long.
I tore my attention away from the sweet view of her and helped her with taking out the dishes. Anything to stop thinking of her naked body with mine. Her creamy, smooth as silk skin. Her mahogany hair spilling down her back. The taste of her lips... Every damn thought going straight to my groin... Fuck.
I ran a hand through my hair, leaning my back against the counter and focusing hard on something else. My mind went back to the mess with Sam. The situation with him only getting worse and causing my guilt to increase ten fold over what I'd done. How do you go back and change shit that's gone so fucking wrong? I had to try and do something. I owed that to Emily. I owed that to Sam and I owed it to myself.
"Where are you?" Bella breathed to me, pressing herself into me suddenly. Her eyes meeting my own and looking for the cause of my distraction.
"Sorry honey." I replied, wrapping my arms around her and breathing in her scent. It was sweet and intoxicating. Pure and simple... like that of Vanilla and lilac mixed together.
My hands roaming down her back and idling just above her ass.
"Did patrol go okay?" She asked.
"For the most part."
She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. Her heart beating fast to rival mine, which was now pounding at her mere closeness.
"Are you staying with me tonight?" She whispered in my ear. Her voice soft and laced with hope. I pressed her body tighter to mine when she drew back to meet my gaze.
"Always." I mouthed to her, reaching my hand up and placing it under her chin to draw her lips to mine. The kiss slow and sensual. My need for her becoming impossible to ignore. Everything in me wanted her. I wanted to kiss every inch of her silky skin and run my hands over her beautiful breasts. I longed to hear her moan my name and to feel her come apart beneath me. It had been long enough and I was desperate to get her alone.
I broke our kiss. My mouth staying a breath away from hers when I spoke.
"Soon..."
Her response was barely a whisper when she spoke it. "Soon."
I slid my hands down a bit further, cupping her ass and heard her breath hitch in response as she bit her bottom lip. Her eyes straying away from mine and settling on my mouth. I was certain she could feel her affect on me. Her hands now coming to stroke my arms while she pressed her body further into mine. I was vaguely aware of Charlie coming into the kitchen. Bella moved herself away from me, a rapid blush forming on her cheeks.
"I'm headed in town to get the pizza's. Want anything else?" He asked, grabbing his keys from off the counter.
"I think we're all set." Bella replied, pretending to busy herself with retrieving cups and pouring drinks on ice for when Charlie returned with dinner.
"Jake? You all set?"
"Yea I'm good. Thanks." I replied.
"Hey Billy we're almost out of beer there bud." He yelled into my father, who was too busy cheering for the game to pay any damn attention. Charlie laughed and grabbed his coat from off the back of the kitchen chair. "I think it's safe to say it won't go to waste if I pick up another six pack!"
"Probably not." I laughed with him, reaching in my back pocket for my wallet and handing him twenty bucks to help cover dinner.
He hesitated, but took it when I insisted after pointing out to him how many times he had covered dinner for all of us lately. It was only fair. He grumbled once and then took the twenty.
"Thanks Son." He sighed when he headed out.
My eyes went straight back to Bella when he left us, sweeping over her body and longing to strip her naked right here in the kitchen. If Billy wasn't in the next room, I would have in a heartbeat. I would have finished what we started on the table at my house here in her own kitchen. My mind ran wild with the memory of how amazing she felt, how all consuming we were together. I saw her glance over her shoulder, seeing her eyes catch mine and revealing to me that she knew exactly where my thoughts were. My gaze went to the ice cubes she had in her hand, placing them in each glass and thinking of a much better purpose for them. One that involved her bare creamy skin and my tongue.
My thoughts were running away with me and I knew I desperately needed a distraction. Thankfully, my father provided one when he came wheeling in for a drink. His presence now breaking my lustful train of thought.
Bella handed him a glass of cold soda and asked how the game was turning out. Billy ranted about how horrible they were playing lately. Their small talk was enough of a distraction for me to get a grip and pull my thoughts from the erotic haze they'd been in.
I headed into the living room and tried to get lost in the game. It worked for a while, keeping me preoccupied until Charlie came home with dinner. We ate together and continued watching.
Bella kept herself in the kitchen, aimlessly cleaning this and that after dinner. I knew her reason and couldn't help the small smile that formed on my mouth knowing I had that kind of affect on her.
She eventually ventured out to join us for the last hour of the game. Placing herself by me on the couch and pretending to be interested in the Mariners losing streak. I reached for her hand and felt her fingers lace with mine as she moved herself a bit closer to me. I listened to the erratic pounding of her heart and saw her lick her lips. The small gesture enough to drive me fucking mad. I wanted to claim that tongue of hers with my own. My self control slipped further when she moved her hand up, feeling her nails lightly trail my forearm. I glanced over to meet her heated gaze just as the game finished.
"I can't believe their losing streak this season!" Billy yelled.
"I know it! Seems they can't get their head outta their asses!" Charlie replied, profusely shaking his head in frustration and picking up the empty beer cans from the coffee table.
"Holy shit, it's close to Eleven." Billy sighed when he glanced down to his wrist watch. "Don't you have an early morning shift at the station?"
Charlie nodded with a heavy sigh. "Sure do. In four hours. Working from three to noon tomorrow. Covering for Rick. He's on Vacation."
I was only half paying attention to the rest of their chatter. My eyes went back to Bella's when I heard Charlie say he would be gone early. She met my stare and nodded once to me. The gesture so inconspicuous that it surely went unnoticed by anyone else. My mind was already swarming with the sounds I ached to hear from her again. The sounds I craved to pull from her.
"Well we better get headed home son. Let Charlie here get some rest."
I got up from the couch and helped my Father out the door and in the truck, cranking the heat for him before heading back in to say goodbye to Bella. She met me at the front door, holding my jacket in her hands and offering it to me. I took it from her and saw the look of disappointment she wore as I slipped it on. I kissed her, my tongue sweeping her bottom lip and evoking a breathy moan from her.
"I'm coming back for you... Soon-" I breathed against her lips, seeing them laced with wicked desire and the hint of a smile. The tantalizing aroma of her skin filled my senses as our gazes collided, making it hard for me to leave. The sound of her breathy moan made my hands twitch with the desire to caress every inch of her.
I had been utterly numb without her before and now that she was finally mine, being with her had stirred my senses from their slumber, engulfing them with the essence of her. It had awakened my soul and opened my eyes. It had ignited a burning need for her. The kind that makes your spine itch with anticipation and caused your pulse to quicken. The kind that sent a divine hunger for her touch thundering through my very veins.
I helped dad get settled in for the night soon after we arrived back home. Still ranting and raving about the game and how they lost. I just nodded and said good night to him, his sudden laughter stopped me before I closed his bedroom door.
"What?" I asked, confused as to what he could find so damn funny.
"You really think your old man is that clueless? As if I don't know where you're headed from here."
I paused, trying to come up with a rational reply for him and failing miserably. He saw me struggle and just laughed again.
"Listen, just don't let Charlie catch you. He loves you and all but I really don't need to be getting a phone call saying he tried to shoot you when he caught you sneaking out of Bella's room at the crack of damn dawn."
I nodded to him and left well enough alone. My hand lingering on the door knob.
"Oh and son?"
"Yeah?" I peeked my head back in.
"It's great to see you happy again. Truly is... Good night."
"Thanks dad... Night." I replied, his words making me smile when I left him to sleep.
I quickly took a shower and changed my clothes. Sure ways to pass the time by. I could hear the sound of Billy's snoring coming from his room as I grabbed a clean pair of socks from my top drawer, finding the last clean pair at the bottom. My hands retrieving a small box of condoms laid there and debating on breeching the subject of birth control with Bella again. I had been so caught up in the moment with her before, that I'd neglected to use any the first time and nearly stopped breathing when I remembered so after the fact. Luckily enough, Bella assured me she was on the pill and told me not to worry. However, that didn't stop the guilty feeling I had over being so fucking reckless with her in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I wanted my world to start and end with her, but having kids right now was something neither one of us was ready for. It wasn't the right time, but someday it would be and my heart warmed at just the thought.
Despite her assurance, I took it upon myself to pick up condoms at the store, feeling that the responsibility should be shared between the two of us and not solely be placed on her. Besides, the pill wasn't fool proof... nothing was.
I tucked the condoms back under my boxers in the drawer and finished dressing, my eyes glancing down to my wrist watch every ten minutes or so. The minutes seeming to pass by at an agonizingly slow pace. I had so much pent up energy that I began pacing in the kitchen, waiting for the damn time to crawl by. Which it did... at a snails pace.
After an hour of this, I couldn't handle watching the clock tick any longer and decided to take the time I had left to check in with Emily. After learning of how drunk Sam had been when Bella dropped him off earlier, I wanted to check in with her.
I searched my jacket pocket for my phone and saw I had two missed calls from my boss. I dialed him back and heard him answer on the second ring.
"Hey Jacob. Thanks for calling me back. I know it's late. Sorry if I woke you." Clark sighed.
"That's okay. I'm awake. No problem. What's up?"
"I called cause I need you in for work early tomorrow. Got a meeting with the owner and he needs everyone there bright and early. Meeting starts at seven."
"Sure thing. I'll be in."
"I'll put on an extra large pot of coffee. Really appreciate it."
"No problem Clark. See you then."
"Alright Jacob. Night." He replied, soon ending the call.
It was nearly 12:45 a.m. now and I knew that meant I'd hardly get any sleep after being with Bells, but I didn't care. It would be well worth it. I was used to running on empty by now. Becoming Alpha had changed my sleep patterns entirely. I was always a bit of a night owl before, but now it was rarity for me to get more than three or four hours a night. Since Bella had come back home, we'd spent a lot of nights falling asleep together, which now made it insufferable for me to sleep well without her. I'd grown accustomed to her next to me.
I scrolled down through my contacts, searching for Emily's cell and dialing her. I hesitated briefly, thinking of the time and hoping I wouldn't be waking her or further pissing off Sam. It rang several times before I was greeted by her friendly voicemail. I hung up and went to set my phone down when it suddenly lit up with her returning call. I cursed under my breath and mentally kicked myself for dialing her so late.
"Hey Em. Did I wake you?" I asked upon answering.
"Oh uh- no. I was just making banana bread." Her tone soft and that of a whisper.
"This late?" I asked.
"Yea. I figured why not? Can't really sleep so."
While her tone was soft, it was not so soft that I didn't recognize the sound of emotion in it when she spoke.
"Bella told me she picked Sam up tonight... from Jail?"
"Yes she did. Please thank her again for me when you see her. She really didn't have to do that. I can pay her-"
"Don't worry about the money. Trust me, I already offered to do so myself and she refused to hear of it." I interjected.
A heavy silence fell over the conversation, causing a heavy weighted feeling to form in my chest. I knew he was there and I knew from the sound of her that he'd taken all his drunk anger out on her verbally. The same way he'd done at least a dozen times since the incident with me months ago.
"That's really nice of her." She finally said.
"She's worried about you, too."
"I know and I appreciate it, but I'm okay."
"You sure?"
"Positive. I'll be fine."
I glanced at the calendar on my wall, seeing that she had another appointment next week. I had been keeping track of them so I was sure to be available when the time came for them.
"You have another appointment this week right?" I asked.
"Yeah... this Wednesday at four."
"So I'll meet you there then."
"Actually..." she sighed. "I was thinking you know with all the extra shifts you've been running for patrol and Bella being home now, you should really take a break from going. I appreciate it Jake. I sincerely do, but you have a lot going on and-"
"Emily it's fine." I interjected in protest.
"It's not. You're only one person..."
"It's fine."
"Jake-"
"Em... you're only one person, too. So why not let me take some of the stress a little bit. Besides, after all the cooking you've done for Billy and I over the years, it's the least I can do."
There was a long pause before she replied with a simple. "Okay."
"He's gonna get better. He will. This won't last forever."
"I hope not." She sighed.
"It won't. He'll come around. It just might take longer than we thought."
"Seems long enough."
"I know..." I sighed heavily.
"Thanks for checking in, Jake."
"Always. I'll check in tomorrow sometime. Sleep well. Night Em."
"Goodnight Jacob." She replied and ended the call.
I braced myself for the gut wrenching guilt to encompass me the same way it always did. It was inevitable and by now, a regular nightly routine for me. I always carried some of it with me, but in the still of the night, where my thoughts would replay the fight with Sam over and over again, is where i'd feel it hit me the heaviest. Hearing Emily sound so hopeless the way she did sometimes, would only cause that feeling to blaze anew within me. I used to drown my guilt in drinking, looking for the answer at the bottom of an empty bottle of whiskey most nights. I never found the answer of course, but searched for it night after night anyway. I had learned since then that I couldn't escape that kind of guilt. Having Bella back with me made it more tolerable but didn't erase it. I wasn't sure if anything ever could.
I sighed heavily and checked the time, seeing it was almost two. I soon felt the all too familiar sense of mind numbing regret creep it's way over me. I got to my feet and headed out the front door, seeking a way to forget it... if only for a little while.
I ran to the edge of the tree line in my back yard and stripped once in the thick cover of them. The night wind howling around me, as I phased and ran through the dense wilderness. My thoughts soon becoming no longer my own.
"Jake..."
I heard Seth's thoughts filter through the haze of regret that clouded my head. I stopped the thoughts abruptly.
"Why are you out here so late? I told you not to worry about making up todays patrol."
"I know but I got nothing else going on. Besides I thought you were with Bella?" He asked.
"I was. I just needed to make a run."
"Things are okay here. No new trails."
"Good."
My thoughts slipped to Sam and Emily when we crossed the river. I tried to reign them in, but Seth had already seen them.
"Sam got arrested! Tonight! And Bella bailed him out?"
I skidded to a stop and turned on my heel, waiting for him to catch up to me. His paws dug in the dirt as he approached.
"Look Seth, don't mention this to the pack. I'm sure Emily wants to keep it under wraps. We should respect that."
He huffed and paced back and forth in front of me. "I'll try to not slip up. When is he gonna pull it together. This is killing Emily."
"I know." I replied.
"He has to cut the shit and pull it together. We all feel bad for what happened, but carrying on like this isn't helping anything. He's got a son coming in a few months."
I looked up into the night sky and saw how clear it was. The many stars shining down at us. It was nights like these I would think of mom and feel her spirit with me. The stars making me remember I was never without her in heart. I wished more than anything I could talk to her right now. Ask her what the hell I was supposed to do from here.
"Something has to change." I huffed.
"Maybe if we all try to talk to him. You know? A united front?"
While I knew Seth's intentions were good, I didn't agree with his method of approach. Sam was hostile with just one of us. If we all ambushed him he would surely flip.
"I don't think that's the best way... I've been racking my brain for weeks on how to fix all this. I just don't know where to start."
"You made a mistake and he has to accept what happened. It's his reality now. Just like being Alpha is yours."
Seth had grown a lot in the last few years. His maturity was starting to show through, leaving the little kid behind we all know and becoming the young man we respected as a brother of our own.
"I'll see you tomorrow night for the meeting at my house?" I asked as I turned to leave.
"I'll be there."
We parted ways and I took the long route around back to my house. I retrieved my clothes, slipping them on and checking in on dad once before heading to Bella's. I tried to leave the guilt behind me and not allow it to seep in, but every mile I drove, my mind would only dig deeper into the past. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I entered Forks, silently cursing my mind for not leaving me the fuck alone.
I was angry at myself for my fucked up choices back then, and worried as hell for the ramifications of them now. Everyone kept telling me to have hope for Sam. To believe he would find the peace he needed and turn things around. But the time for that was quickly fading. Emily was due in a few months and she needed him. Sam had to find himself again. He needed to be reminded of what he stood to lose and as much as I knew it would piss him off, I was starting to think that I needed to be the one to remind him of this.